Hmm, I think the roughness is in the last three paragraphs, right? It seems like Hoshi has to do a lot of talking before Dee's emotions kick in. Could you break up that dialog a bit, or maybe make it clear that he's talking that much because he can see Dee is about ready to fall apart and doesn't want to make her have to respond to something, sort of as a return favor for making *him* talk through the procedure, only the opposite way? Also, I think you could trim some of the explanation--you probably don't need "and we didn't get the crew's records off..."

The other thing I thought of might be to change Hoshi's last couple lines that set Dee off to something that's not so nail-on-the-head related to her pregnancy. You could try something that's more related to his experience, but something that would set Dee off anyway. Maybe Hoshi talks about how he saw Dr. Robert's bedside manner with little kids, or compares Robert to a doctor he dealt with when he was a kid (this would obviously depend on what age Hoshi was when the cancer first appeared). I would think that the loss of that hope, that vision of having a baby that would grow up, would hit Dee hard enough to get a reaction out of her.