I don't know if I can be helpful because I haven't read the whole story. I just like peeks at the writing process.
I like the idea of giving Hoshi some breathing room. Maybe Dee listens to the service and is quiet. And just like she had noticed Hoshi and had become attuned to him during his procedure maybe he's realizing she's crying. And maybe he asks her about it. It happens in real life conversations that after someone has shared something big with another person, they feel open and vulnerable and are ready to hear the other person's story too.
They are both hurting in the scene and are becoming aware of each other's pain. Oooh! Dee could break down and him hold her hand and her not not tell her story. Maybe Hoshi could just say she doesn't have to and says if she's ever ready . . . it leave an opening to their future, gets rid of the one-up manship because her story is yet untold but they still get to bond in the scene.
Or none this is helpful and you've already written the scene and figured everything out. That would be great too. :-)
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I like the idea of giving Hoshi some breathing room. Maybe Dee listens to the service and is quiet. And just like she had noticed Hoshi and had become attuned to him during his procedure maybe he's realizing she's crying. And maybe he asks her about it. It happens in real life conversations that after someone has shared something big with another person, they feel open and vulnerable and are ready to hear the other person's story too.
They are both hurting in the scene and are becoming aware of each other's pain. Oooh! Dee could break down and him hold her hand and her not not tell her story. Maybe Hoshi could just say she doesn't have to and says if she's ever ready . . . it leave an opening to their future, gets rid of the one-up manship because her story is yet untold but they still get to bond in the scene.
Or none this is helpful and you've already written the scene and figured everything out. That would be great too. :-)