DVD Commentary- Deny Thy Father 3
Sep. 5th, 2006 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantLabor Day is over, so back to writing, I hope. Or at least
There's something I really like about this chapter, and that's that it is so Sirius-James centric. I might ship Remus/Sirius, but I do believe that can still work with James being Sirius's best friend. But because I write Sirius/Remus so much, I don't often get the chance to focus on the relationship between Sirius and James in extreme depth. Well, sort of. It's more I take it for granted. It's going to start coming into play more in AIL, but it's tended to be background. (Actually, chapter 11 had a fair bit of Sirius-James.) Someday, I need to write a light and fluffy fic with James and Sirius farting around (perhaps literally) and just being guys and best friends. It would be fun.
“Hey, Evans! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?”
The pretty redhead scowled, and then attempted the feat. James and Sirius watched with amusement. “What do you think, Sirius?”
“Almost a B.”
“Oh, come on, she’s definitely a B by now.”
This is a dumb question, but do they use the same bra sizings in Britain?
Comprehension suddenly dawned on Lily’s face, and she shrieked and slapped James across the face.
“Oh, personal contact!” Sirius approved. “Very-“ Lily’s hand slapped his face too and she stomped away.
Wow. Lily's hand is very talented. I suspect Lily slapped Sirius, not her hand.
Remus, sitting in a chair and pretending to read, wrote something and folded it into a paper airplane, which he send flying over to James and Sirius.
Try Tina Lovegood next. She’s got to be at least a C. –R
Sirius smirked and showed the note to James. James grinned evilly.
“Oi! Lovegood! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?”
This is one of those scenes that doesn't really advance the plot or add anything, but I really liked it because it was fun and it showed them being boys. They're totally acting like 13 year olds here, and I liked that Remus joined in. As I'm rereading it, I do notice a lack of Peter. Believe it or not, that would be in character for my Peter, because my Peter has more respect for women than any of the other three at this age. My Peter really enjoys being a big brother.
***
In October, a large tawny owl found Sirius perched boredly on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. The letter was short and to the point.
Sirius-
I understand you have a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. I’m in town. Would you and your friends care to meet me at The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer?
Uncle Alphard
“You guys want to go?” Sirius asked eagerly. “My Uncle Alphard isn’t bad at all.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” James had nicked a Snitch from his Quidditch practice and was playing with it as they sat in the common room. He was sprawled messily across the couch, feet on the coffee table.
Coffee table? Where is there a coffee table in the Gryffindor common room? But I have pointed out before that one of my trademarks of my fics is a teenaged boy will abuse the furniture.
“Isn’t your Uncle Alphard the one that made all those comments in the paper about half-bloods not being, well…?” Peter asked, looking up from his potions essay.
“Nope. That was Uncle Richard.”
“Well, will he mind Remus coming?” Peter pressed.
Sirius looked at Remus, who was carefully sketching a detailed diagram of a bowtruckle. “I doubt it,” he said. “I mean, he never said he’s only okay with purebloods, but he seems to like Remus.”
I feel like I should comment here, but it just seems so… redundant.
“How would he even know him?” James asked, with a touch of irritation. “None of us have ever met your family outside the train station.”
Sirius shrugged. “Dunno. But hey, here’s your big chance to meet one of the few members of my family you might actually like. C’mon James. Butterbeer.”
“I already said yes.”
“Oh yeah. Pete? Remus? You guys in?”
I'm sorry, but "Pete" for Peter is one of the few non-canon nicknames I can tolerate, because I can't stop myself from doing it. (The other is Pads for Padfoot, but I only ever write that from Remus.)
Peter nodded. “Why not?”
“Remus?”
“All right.”
“I promise he won’t say anything about you being a half-blood.”
“No. I know he won’t.” Remus looked back down at his drawing. “Yeah. I’ll go.”
I feel like I should comment here, but I also feel like it would be redundant.
***
The day of the Hogsmeade excursion was misted over with a light rain. Despite the relatively miserable weather, the boys enjoyed the freedom of being outside and away from the castle. Being allowed to go to Hogsmeade implied a certain level of adulthood, even if they most certainly weren’t acting it. There were shouts and scuffles and a round or two of “can you touch your elbows behind your back?” with the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls, and certainly a few well-placed inappropriate hexes hurled. They spent a good hour in Honeydukes and at least as long in Zonko’s before making their way to The Three Broomsticks.
Seriously. Why do so many R/S-ers write them so grown up at such a young age? It's fun to write them being teenagers. (I'll also freely admit I once fell for the "can you touch your elbows" thing.)
Sirius spotted Alphard immediately, holding a table in the corner. He grinned and waved, pushing through the crowd. As he drew closer, Sirius could see his uncle wasn’t faring so well. The last time he’d seen Alphard had been at Narcissa and Lucius’s wedding; the lights were low and everyone was dressed well. Today Alphard looked absolutely haggard. But his smile was bright as the boys approached, and Sirius noticed he was wearing an old, moth-eaten Gryffindor scarf.
While I don't think the House was a big deal to my Alphard and Sirius, I do think Alphard is deliberately looking for acceptance in this scene. He's having a bad time of it. That's part of why he's wearing the Gryffindor scarf- he wants his nephew and his friends to think he's cool and accept him.
“Sirius,” he said, shaking his great-nephew’s hand, and then drawing him into a quick, tight hug. “Behaving yourself these days?”
“Not really, no.”
“Good lad. Good lad.” Alphard looked at the other three boys. “You must be James Potter,” he said, extending his hand in the correct direction. “You look very much like the pictures of your father. Rumor has it you’re quite the Quidditch player.”
James flushed happily. “Yes sir. Chaser on the Gryffindor team.”
“Excellent, although I’ll always maintain it’s the Keeper that keeps a team together.” Alphard winked. “Hello, Remus,” he said. “Holding up all right?”
One day, I ought to write Alphard as a student. It would be fun.
To Sirius’s surprise, Remus had a wicked knowing grin on his face. “All right, Mr. Black,” he agreed amiably. “You?”
“Not bad. How’s your mother?”
Sirius instinctively caught James’s eye, and they both winced. But as Remus answered, “She’s fine,” they both realized the question had been genuine, not a subtle dig at Remus’s heritage.
They are a little dense, aren't they? That's all right. They're 13.
“Then you must be Peter Pettigrew,” Alphard said, turning to the last of their foursome.
“Yes, sir.” Peter seemed much more intimidated by Alphard than either James or Remus. But Alphard gestured for them all to sit and ordered five butterbeers and some sausages, and Peter began to relax.
Why does noone ever eat anything at the Three Broomsticks? :)
Alphard kept them in hysterics, telling them stories about his own school days. They particularly enjoyed the ones about Professor McGonagall; none of them could really properly imagine her throwing a snowball in revenge, or running through the common room in her nightgown. They couldn’t quite believe that in her day, Minerva McGonagall had been one of the most sought-after girls at Hogwarts.
“Did you date her?” Sirius asked.
“Me? Not at all. She never would have had a chap like me. But let me tell you about old Binns…”
I don't think Alphard was as oblivious as he sounds here, although maybe he was. But there's no way he's going to come out and tell these boys a lot of details about his love life!
They stayed for another hour, listening to Alphard’s stories and telling him their own. It was warm and comfortable in the inn, and Sirius was pleased that at least one member of his family had met his friends.
Alphard was disappointed when they had to leave. He shook James’s and Peter’s hands, hugged Sirius, and then reached out and ruffled Remus’s hair. Sirius felt his eyes on them as they left the inn.
“Y’know,” James said, as they made their way back to Hogwarts, “I think your uncle is really lonely.”
“What gives you that idea?” Sirius asked uncomfortably.
James shrugged. “Dunno. But your family doesn’t seem like the touchy-feely type, and he just… I don’t know. I just think he’s very alone.”
“He is,” Remus agreed. “And he probably will be for the rest of his life.”
Sirius shivered.
Sniffle.
***
“Hey, Sirius, got a minute?” James plopped down onto Sirius’s bed regardless.
“Yeah, I’m just doing this potions essay.”
See? Sirius can do homework and sound in character! Really! Just because he didn't want to study for a Transfiguration test does not mean the boy blows off all homework!
“Why are you up here?”
“Between listening to Remus tease me about actually working and Peter begging me to help, it seemed easier. What’s up?” Sirius set the essay away from him.
Lissa gives in to fanon. :P Just when I was getting smug, too.
“It’s about Christmas,” James said.
“Yeah?”
“Well, my parents have to go to Germany for a convention my Dad’s covering, and then have a lot to do around London. My dad’s trying to get a lot of stuff together on this Lord Voldemort.”
“So?”
“Well, they kind of want me to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas.”
“Want me to stay with you? Spot on!”
“Actually… I was wondering if I could come home with you.”
You would have been better off with Sirius's option, James.
“Huh?”
“Well, I’ve never actually met your parents or anything, and you’ve met mine…”
“There’s a reason for that James. Your parents are normal. Remember what you said about my mother? That she needs to get her head out of her arse?”
“Yeah, but still.”
“Why do you want to come to my house?” Sirius was baffled. “It’s my mother, my father, and my creep of a little brother. There’s nothing to do there. We could just stay here at Hogwarts.”
“Or we could go to your posh place and live like kings.”
Sirius laughed. “You, my friend, are sadly delusional. You didn’t get hit by a bludger in the head tonight, did you?”
You know, I think Sirius is very unaffected by material things in some ways. I mean, we never see any signs of him being rich until OotP, except that he buys Harry an exceedingly expensive broom. But on top of that, Sirius rarely seems to care much about his physical condition. I mean, I realize it takes away from the dramatic effect, but he is free for a YEAR before the Shrieking Shack scene. Couldn't he have done something about his hair? Stolen clean clothes from a clothesline? He doesn't. Even in OotP, he doesn't dress ostentatiously. He doesn’t really fuss about his appearance one way or the other. For all that I will agree Sirius is vain about his intelligence, I just can't believe he's that vain about his appearance.
“No.”
“Shame. All right. If you really want to come… but I don’t want to ask Peter or Remus.”
“That’s why I asked for Christmas. It’s my one chance to see your place without having to worry about it. Peter will want to go home, and there’s a full moon over Christmas.”
“Yeah.” Sirius remembered the last Christmas full moon. “There is.”
Like JKR, I don't check moon charts either. And because DTF is Sirius-centric, they're far enough apart that I mention full moons that it doesn't matter that much. Even in AIL, Remus's transformations are rarely a big deal. (They are sometimes, but not always.) There's just not much to say about them, y'know?
***
The Blacks met James and Sirius off the train that year; for once, all three of them were there. Sirius groaned inwardly as he spotted Regulus. They were formal as they greeted James, so much so that James and Sirius had to avoid looking at each other so they wouldn’t burst into laughter.
Memories of Grimmauld Place seemed less dark to Sirius as they headed home. Having James with him was like opening a window and letting in the sunlight. But as they walked into the foyer, Sirius was suddenly intensely aware of what his home must look like through James’s eyes.
I always think it's interesting to see your own house through other people's eyes. Except when my sister decides to point out cobwebs.
Sirius had told him his family consisted of Dark Wizards, but he’d never given details. He’d never told James about the house elf heads that hung on plaques on the wall, but as he saw James’s disgusted expression he wondered if he should have given forewarning. He’d never told James about the clock that visitors had to avoid lest it start to shoot bolts at them, or the elephant leg that served as an umbrella holder, or the portraits that eyed him with suspicion and speculated about his heritage. The house was opulent, with rich fabrics and heavy crystal, but the light came from sources within.
I suspect that, for a long time, Sirius didn't realize his home was abnormal. And it's not like your friends say, "oh, we don't have House-elf heads hanging on our walls" unless you actually bring the subject up. I really liked doing this whole visit with James.
Everything looked strange to Sirius. Why had he never noticed how many items carried the Black family crest? His mother said it was traditional, and a sign of status. To Sirius it looked like a little kid writing on every possession he owned, determined that no one would take it. Everywhere there was silver, heavy and dull, reflecting the dim light. Rich fabrics, rare woods, marble and stone all shouted their wealth at them. What had ever made him think this was a good idea?
Every now and then, I wonder how rich Sirius's family really was in the time when Sirius lived with them, and how much it was just poor aristocracy. The place really does sound run-down in OotP, but that's also after how many years. Still. Maybe that's why Walburga was so ticked Alphard left money to her degenerate son, and not to her, when she really needed it.
“You boys can put your things in Sirius’s room,” his mother said, breaking across the awkward silence. “Dinner is in a half hour.” James and Sirius nodded, and then escaped.
“Well,” Sirius said as he shut the door to his bedroom. “Are you regretting this yet?”
“No,” James assured him, but his voice was shaking.
“Don’t worry,” Sirius said. “You will.”
Quick, name the movie!
"I'm not afraid!"
"You will be… you will be."
***
James was clearly not comfortable in the House of Black. And after his own initial discomfort, Sirius began to see the humor in the situation. James jumped at the slightest sound, regarded any food we was presented with warily, and Sirius even caught him rooting through the bathroom.
“We don’t keep our poisons in the medicine cabinet,” Sirius drawled, leaning against the door jamb. “They’re in the drawing room.”
Because why should wizards be exempt from rummaging through medicine cabinets to find out more about their hosts?
James jumped guiltily. “I was looking for a bandage,” he stuttered. “I stubbed my toe.”
Sirius looked doubtfully at James’s feet, both of which appeared fine. “Sure.”
James fidgeted. “You don’t really have poisons sitting around the house, do you?”
“I don’t, no. But my parents…” Sirius tried to shrug casually. “I don’t really know.”
“We ought to find out,” James mused.
“Go snooping?”
“Why not? It would give us something to do besides studying, anyway.”
“Hey, I warned you.”
“Yeah, and I should have listened.” James ran a hand through his already unruly black hair, making it stand up even more ridiculously than before. “We could investigate the drawing room after dinner."
Sirius grinned. “All right.”
“Have you ever rummaged through there?” James asked as Sirius turned to shut the door.
“Believe it or not, no.”
I think it's rather interesting that Sirius, who roams the halls of Hogwarts and thinks that rules are something that mean other people, has never snooped in his own home- at least not in the drawing room. Now, obviously, this is a plot device since Sirius finds the book about raising kids in a Dark home, and if he'd found it before it makes the entire plot kind of silly. But is it in character? I think so. I think at Hogwarts is where Sirius began to really find out who he was. He was much freer at Hogwarts. He also began to realize there were two separate sets of rules- the rules of his parents' house and the rules of the school. What he wasn't good at doing was remembering which rules went where :)
***
Dinner that night was a more formal affair than usual, as befitted Christmas Eve. They sat at the long dining room table, dressed in their good robes and eating by candlelight. The previous night, Mrs. Black had explained the make of the china, the silver, and the goblets to James. At the time, Sirius had thought it boring family history that he already knew. But as he observed his friend hesitating over his forks and reluctant to touch his plate for fear of breaking either it or some unknown rule of etiquette, Sirius wondered if his mother knew how snobbish her lecture had come off.
I think, if I were making changes, I would make this paragraph stronger. I like the image of this scene, where Sirius realizes that his mother isn't just teaching family history, but bragging and trying to lord it over James. But there's something about the phrasing that is a bit weaker.
His father plied James with questions. Not questions about the Quidditch team or lessons or teachers, but detailed questions on James’s father’s views. Did Tim support this Lord Voldemort? What were Tim’s feelings on Muggle rights? The Department of Magical Law Enforcement? The current Minister of Magic? James, ever the polite guest, answered the best he could.
Poor James. But I really think this is how Sirius's father would behave.
After dinner, Arden insisted on showing James the family tapestry. James cast Sirius a frantic look, but Sirius couldn’t think of a way to rescue his friend from the upcoming torture. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“You owe me big,” James mouthed back.
Sirius stood to follow them, but his mother glanced up at him. “Let your father show James the family bloodline,” she said. “Sit here with me and keep me company. Regulus has gone up to his room.”
Convenient, no?
Pleased both at the excuse and the invitation, Sirius sat back down.
“I will have to apologize to James,” his mother said, fingering her napkin. “Your father often forgets that you boys are thirteen, and not all that interested in politics and issues.”
“Not really, ma’am,” Sirius smiled.
It had been so long since he’d sat like this with his mother. The summer holidays had been quiet. His mother hadn’t been cold to him, but her primary focus had been Regulus. He hadn’t realized how much he missed these moments until right now.
“I found something very interesting in your room today,” his mother was saying. Sirius shifted guiltily.
“What was that?”
“A seventh year transfiguration book,” his mother said. Sirius cringed, until he noticed that she was smiling. “I must say, Sirius, I was delighted. Transfiguration was always my favorite subject.”
“Really?” He hadn’t known that.
“Oh yes. I wanted to try for the Animagus transformation, but your father didn’t approve.”
I really liked this idea, that Sirius was living his mother's dream. Makes me wonder if it would be fun to have his mother find out about that, and being angry because she couldn't do it and he could.
“No?” Sirius wished his voice wouldn’t crack so badly. But his mother didn’t seem to notice.
“No. There was no need, Arden said. A wife’s place is at home and with her children. With my boys.” There was no bitterness in her voice- she said it as fact. But it was there in her eyes.
“You never had a career?” Sirius asked, shocked.
“What need was there?”
“Would you have liked one?” Sirius pressed.
“I don’t know. In a way, I have one. There’s you and Regulus, and your father. And I do help your father with some of his work.”
Sirius seized the opportunity. “Mother, what exactly does Father do?”
“He’s a Ministry Official, Sirius. You know that.”
“Well, sure. I know that. But what does he do at the Ministry?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Well, he’s Head of the Department of Mysteries. I can’t really tell you much more than that; their work is of a confidential nature.”
God, I love that fact. It makes it so much easier for me.
“Oh. What do you do for him?”
“I help with some of his notes, every now and then I brew a potion. Why the sudden interest, Sirius?"
“Oh, just thinking. About the future, I guess.”
I think there was a reason Sirius's mother was into Potions, but I don't remember. It might have been why she never took him to St. Mungo's and was able to keep him home. I think I also decided was the reason she looked SO old in the portrait was that one of her potions went wrong and aged her prematurely or something. But there was a reason.
His mother smiled again. “It’s never too early for that.”
They were still sitting in companionable silence when Arden returned with James, who still had his politely interested smile nailed to his face.
The "Get me OUT OF HERE" look!
“It’s all a matter of wizarding pride,” Arden was saying. “A proper pureblooded family like mine or yours should guard their bloodlines carefully.”
“Arden,” Elizabeth broke in. “Let the poor boy go. I know he and Sirius have some things they want to finish tonight before Christmas.”
“Oh. Of course.”
Sirius smiled gratefully at his mother as he and James escaped.
“Okay, your father is a nutcase,” James announced when they’d reached the relative safety of the second floor.
Not very British, I think, but very accurate.
Sirius laughed. “What makes you say that?”
“The pureblood thing! It’s like a mania with him, isn’t it?”
“I guess.”
I like that Sirius still hasn't really caught on how abnormal his family is. It's hard to admit to such a thing.
“I can see why you called Remus a Mudblood that first night. Sheesh. Anyway, do you want to go search the drawing room?”
Sirius shook his head, the memory of the warmth between him and his mother still curling around him and fresh in his mind. “Nah. Let’s work on the transformation instead.”
***
Christmas night was a full moon. The sigh of it drained the pleasure of the day from both Sirius and James.
Again. See? I suck as bad as JKR.
“Imagine,” James said as they looked out the window. “What a way to spend Christmas. Poor Remus.”
“I know. But at least he’s home. His parents are mad about him.”
“Seems that way, doesn’t it? At least he’s got that.”
“Yeah.” Sirius flashed back to Mr. Lupin sitting over his son’s bedside all night. “Lucky Remus.”
Regardless of the tension that's always between Damien and Sirius, Sirius has always wanted Damien to like him. I think my young Sirius wants all the fathers to like him, because his own so clearly doesn't.
***
Two days after Christmas, great uncle Alphard arrived. Sirius and James were delighted to see him.
“Come on,” he said, after he’d exchanged pleasantries with the adults. “Come into the library and tell me all about the latest mayhem this generation of Gryffindors is wreaking on Hogwarts.”
They sat at his feet and told him. Sirius and James both were overflowing with words and enthusiasm, interrupting each other to tell the story together. Alphard had settled deep into a plush chair, his lined face tired as his eyes struggled to stay open, but smiling nonetheless.
“And how are the other two?” he asked when they’d finished the tale of Snape’s bouncing textbooks. “Remus and Peter?”
At least they didn't turn Snape's hair pink.
“Peter’s fine,” James said. “Actually, better than fine- he pulled a good grade on his Charms exam and is over the moon. Remus is…” he looked to Sirius for help.
“I hope Remus is fine,” Sirius muttered, thinking heavily of last Christmas.
“He’ll have been worse, I’m sure.”
James looked down at the floor, but Sirius cocked his head and studied his great uncle. Alphard met his eyes squarely, but there was something there… a deep sadness Sirius had never seen.
“Uncle Alphard, you know Remus, don’t you?”
“I met him at the Three Broomsticks.”
“No. You’ve known him for longer than that. The first time I said Remus’s name, back in first year, you insisted I stay friends with him. You said that some things are more important than blood.”
“I did.”
“You don’t live near him.”
“No.”
“You don’t work with his father, and you certainly don’t work with his mother.”
“No.” Alphard wouldn’t let Sirius’s eyes go. “Come on boy,” he said softly. “You’re a smart lad. Put it together.”
The pieces were already clicking together rapidly, and the conclusion was easy now that he knew what to look for. Beside him, James drew in a sharp breath and Sirius knew he was right. “You’re a werewolf?” Sirius made it into a question.
“Yes.”
He wasn’t surprised. This time. “How long?” he asked.
I really like how this conversation went, incidentally.
“I was bitten when you were ten, so a little over three years now.”
“Does Father know?”
“Absolutely not. A Black a werewolf? Very few people know.”
“Remus knows though, doesn’t he?” James spoke up, his eyes wide behind the glasses.
“He does. Werewolves are required to appear at the Werewolf Registry periodically- or more accurately, regularly. It just happens we usually have our appointments on the same day.”
“Oh.” James sat back and looked at Sirius.
I think, at this point, I'd already started thinking about Mentors. The whole big point of Mentors was Alphard helping Remus cope with the Prank, and saying some things I really wanted to say. I do think that Remus could have come to that realization on his own, but I'm glad I wrote Mentors regardless.
Sirius had the most disturbing urge to cry. It wasn’t that his great uncle had hidden this information- that was something Sirius could finally understand. It was something that Remus had said after their trip to The Three Broomsticks. I just think he’s very alone, James had said. He is, Remus had agreed. And he probably will be for the rest of his life.
As he looked at his great uncle who was waiting for a reaction, Sirius knew it was true. Alphard Black was facing the remainder of his life alone. Carefully, he stood up and hugged him.
Awww.
One of the traps I think I fall into sometimes- especially in DTF- is making boys too touchy feely. But even though boys don't generally express emotion for other men physically, I do think a hug upon finding out your favorite relative is a werewolf isn't unreasonable- especially because of Alphard's reaction. And this is a BIG thing for Alphard.
Alphard stiffened at first in the embrace, but soon his arms tightened around Sirius, clinging to him desperately for a long moment.
“We won’t tell,” Sirius promised as he held onto his uncle. “Ever , if that’s what you want.”
“Thank you,” Alphard whispered. He pulled away, wiping his eyes. “Thank you both.”
“Would the family really respond that badly?” James asked. “Remus’s family doesn’t.”
“Trust me. The House of Black would freak,” Sirius said.
Do I need to comment?
Alphard nodded. “The Lupins are exceptional. That level of support is very unusual, and probably due to the fact it’s easier for people to accept such a thing in a darling child as opposed to an old man.” He sighed. Now that the revelation was over, Alphard seemed to be heading back into the uncle that Sirius knew. “In fact,” he was saying, his voice perfectly even now, “I have great respect for Marilyn, Remus’s mother. I don’t approve of mixed marriages, mind you, particularly those like the Lupins’. But despite the fact she is a Muggle, Marilyn copes with everything. Many witches wouldn’t be able to do that.”
Really wishing about the Marilyn-Alphard dynamic. Maybe I'll get time to write that. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
“Why don’t you approve of mixed marriages?” James asked quickly.
To Sirius’s surprise, Alphard took the question quite seriously. “I won’t give you any of that twaddle about wizarding pride,” he said, “although I certainly would have a few years ago. But being on the other side of a fence makes you rethink and re-defend a lot of your convictions. It’s not a matter of pride, but it IS a matter of culture. Muggles have not grown up with our ways, and we don’t understand theirs. Many of those marriages don’t work out. And then consider the children… where do they really fit in? They aren’t one world or the other. When the adults marry, two consenting adults make a decision about their future and what they are willing to face. When a child is born, he or she does not make that decision. The parents are inflicting discrimination on their offspring.”
This was taken very much from a conversation my mother and I had about racially mixed marriages. I don't agree with it, but it's far more reasonable than most rationales. I do think that this could be an issue in racially mixed marriages, but I also think it's very much a workable one, as long as both parties have the right attitude.
The boys considered this. “But you said Mrs. Lupin adapted well,” Sirius finally protested.
“There’s oddities in every case, of course. Marilyn Lupin is an oddity.”
It was funny that someone who would have to endure the prejudice of an entire world for the rest of his life could be so unaccepting, Sirius thought. But then, at least Alphard had offered logic, and maybe even had a point. Sirius wasn’t sure he agreed, but it was better than Alphard just saying that he was right. He shook his head.
In her commentary on Teenage Kicks,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shaggydogstail mentioned how she always sees Sirius as someone who makes judgments based on his own observations instead of what other people say. I agree with her very, very much.
Alphard was standing. “I should go speak with Arden. He’ll worry I’m encouraging you boys to burn down Hogwarts.”
Because burning down a stone castle is so easy!
The boys both scrambled to their feet. “We’ll stay here,” James offered. “Let you and Mr. Black carry on a proper adult conversation. We’ve got some plans to make. Like how to get matches.”
And even if stone could burn, they would do it with Muggle means.
Alphard chuckled. “Cute. Well, good night then, boys. Sleep well.”
“Wow,” James said as the door clicked shut behind Alphard.
“Yeah.” Sirius was still reeling. “Wow.”
They both stood in silence for a moment.
“Y’know…” James began, that familiar tone in his voice.
“Uh-oh. I know what?”
“We don’t have to start our search with the drawing room. Let’s start with the library.”
“Huh?”
“Well, we’re here. Your parents are downstairs, and you’ll know they’ll be with Alphard for quite some time. Regulus is… well, where does the creep go?”
“Who cares? He’s not here,” Sirius said, nodding. “You’re right. Let’s do it.”
I like that after this serious discussion, James and Sirius promptly return to what they do best- breaking rules. I also like that they really want to check out the library as well. Sirius is an avidly curious and intelligent person, as is James. Books would probably be fascinating to them, especially if they were full of dangerous but exciting magic.
You know what movie foursome I actually consider a good comparison for the marauders in terms of attitude? The Rocket Boys from October Sky. (Incidentally, October Sky is an anagram for Rocket Boys, the original title of Homer Hickim's autobiographical novel.)
They started with the bookshelves. Sirius had pursued them over the years, but never gotten that far. Far too many of the books had such boring titles. Purebloods: the Nobility of the Wizarding World. Halfblood Marriages: The Downfall of the Wizarding World. Pureblood Pride. Aristocracy of Wizards. Sirius made a face.
I'm guessing Sirius started here because it's a section he's never looked through closely, whereas where James is hanging out is one where he has.
Farther down the wall James was muttering. “Most Potente Potions, that’s in the Restricted Section at Hogwarts. [i]Poisons and Antidotes, Potions and Hexes…, boy, your mom sure has a lot of potions books.”
“Yeah. Mother told me she brews potions for Father. Here’s something on the Unforgivable Curses, but man… it’s dry. It looks like a legal discourse or the theory or something. Yeah, history, legal implications... it's not like it says how to perform them or anything."”
"Cast Unforgivable Curses in Nine Easy Steps!" (The review on the back would be "A must for all aspiring Death Eaters!")
“Here’s a load of transfiguration books,” James said. “Lots on the Animagus transformation. You should nick a few.”
“I should.” Sirius picked up a book with a dust jacket that proclaimed Household Pests: How to Combat Them and idly flipped it open, half-wondering if it would have any hints about dealing with Regulus. “What are we looking for, anyway? How to Practice the Dark Arts: a Home Guide? How to Curse Family, Friends and Neighbors?” He looked down at the title page and froze.
“Sirius?”
“Raising Children in a Dark Home.”
“Oh, go on… blimey. You’re serious.”
Sirius was staring at the front page, his eyes wide.
“Sirius….”
“It said Household Pests on the cover. It wasn’t supposed to be this, James. It was supposed to be….”
Alarmed, James seized Sirius’s arm and dragged him to a chair, forcing him to sit. “What does it say?” he whispered.
With numb fingers, Sirius turned to the table of contents. “’Protecting Your Children from Poisons,’” he read. “’Childproofing a Dark Home. When Children Start Asking Questions. No,” he pushed the book away and shook his head. “People don’t write books like this. This is a joke.”
James took the book. “’Coping with Challenges to Your Methods. Discipline versus Abuse, and Dealing with Perception. Page 89.’” James flipped. “’It’s a common assumption that those who practice the Dark Arts also practice neglect, mistreatment, or even abuse of their children,’” he read out loud. “’While this may indeed be the case for some wizards, it is not true for all those who practice the Dark Arts, just as it is true that wizards who avoid the Dark Arts are capable of committing these crimes. Despite prejudice to the contrary, the two are not connected. However, children in any house do require discipline in order to learn valuable lessons. In this chapter we shall examine the differences between discipline and abuse, discuss how to effectively discipline a child, and explain how a wizard can do so without being accused of abuse merely because he or she practices the Dark Arts.” James whistled through his teeth. “This nutter’s serious.”
I thought this idea was kind of interesting, although I chuckle to think how different it would be if I wrote it now, after reading "What to Expect the First Year." It's pretty canon to me that you can be a Dark Wizard and love your child- it always baffles me to see people write Draco Malfoy as horribly abused, because it's obvious he's not. If anything, he gets the same treatment at home as Dudley does. While some people might consider that a form of abuse, I would call that bad parenting because clearly the Dursleys and the Malfoys want their child to be happy. In fact, I would actually say the Malfoys are better parents than the Dursleys, because Lucius does actually comment a bit acidly on Draco's marks, implying that there is some level of discipline in the Malfoy household. But there's also no denying that the pair of them are Death Eaters raising a Death Nibbler. So the bit about discipline, while it's relevant to the plot, is also a bit of me being frustrated with fandom. But also, I'd like to think there's some system that can protect wizarding children from abusive parents, and if that is the case this may be a very real concern for Dark Wizards.
Further, on the subject of abuse, I admit I don't know tons about it. But I'm guessing that most abusive parents don't have a child with the intention to abuse it. I think it's far more complicated than that, which is why Sirius's parents swing rather wildly.
“My parents aren’t abusive,” Sirius pointed out, his voice shaking and cracking as he said it. “They’re strict, but they aren’t abusive.”
“Um.”
“They aren’t.”
James just shook his head.
“They aren’t!”
“I never said they were.” James tapped the book against his hand. “I’d say they practice Dark Arts though.”
James clearly believes they are, and I'm not sure I disagree with him. But it's got to be hard for Sirius to admit that right now. And James has some shred of wisdom not to press it.
“We knew that,” Sirius muttered
“I did.”
“I did too. Alphard told me we’re a family of Dark Wizards last Christmas.” Sirius couldn’t quite speak right as he looked at the book in James’s hand. That book drove it home more than finding potions or artifacts or even a dead body would have done. His parents practiced the Dark Arts.
Gotta love denial.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Sirius continued. “I mean, it doesn’t mean anything about me.”
“I know.” James shook it off. “Yeah. I know.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Come on,” James said. “It’s late. Let’s go back to your room.” He put the book back on the shelves and led a numb Sirius away.
Sirius didn’t say another word for the rest of the night.
You know, I really want to hug Sirius in this chapter, but I also really, really want to hug James for how he treats him. James may have had his less attractive moments, but he must have been pretty cool.
***
Part 2 of commentary
There's something I really like about this chapter, and that's that it is so Sirius-James centric. I might ship Remus/Sirius, but I do believe that can still work with James being Sirius's best friend. But because I write Sirius/Remus so much, I don't often get the chance to focus on the relationship between Sirius and James in extreme depth. Well, sort of. It's more I take it for granted. It's going to start coming into play more in AIL, but it's tended to be background. (Actually, chapter 11 had a fair bit of Sirius-James.) Someday, I need to write a light and fluffy fic with James and Sirius farting around (perhaps literally) and just being guys and best friends. It would be fun.
“Hey, Evans! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?”
The pretty redhead scowled, and then attempted the feat. James and Sirius watched with amusement. “What do you think, Sirius?”
“Almost a B.”
“Oh, come on, she’s definitely a B by now.”
This is a dumb question, but do they use the same bra sizings in Britain?
Comprehension suddenly dawned on Lily’s face, and she shrieked and slapped James across the face.
“Oh, personal contact!” Sirius approved. “Very-“ Lily’s hand slapped his face too and she stomped away.
Wow. Lily's hand is very talented. I suspect Lily slapped Sirius, not her hand.
Remus, sitting in a chair and pretending to read, wrote something and folded it into a paper airplane, which he send flying over to James and Sirius.
Try Tina Lovegood next. She’s got to be at least a C. –R
Sirius smirked and showed the note to James. James grinned evilly.
“Oi! Lovegood! Can you touch your elbows behind your back?”
This is one of those scenes that doesn't really advance the plot or add anything, but I really liked it because it was fun and it showed them being boys. They're totally acting like 13 year olds here, and I liked that Remus joined in. As I'm rereading it, I do notice a lack of Peter. Believe it or not, that would be in character for my Peter, because my Peter has more respect for women than any of the other three at this age. My Peter really enjoys being a big brother.
***
In October, a large tawny owl found Sirius perched boredly on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. The letter was short and to the point.
Sirius-
I understand you have a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. I’m in town. Would you and your friends care to meet me at The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer?
Uncle Alphard
“You guys want to go?” Sirius asked eagerly. “My Uncle Alphard isn’t bad at all.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” James had nicked a Snitch from his Quidditch practice and was playing with it as they sat in the common room. He was sprawled messily across the couch, feet on the coffee table.
Coffee table? Where is there a coffee table in the Gryffindor common room? But I have pointed out before that one of my trademarks of my fics is a teenaged boy will abuse the furniture.
“Isn’t your Uncle Alphard the one that made all those comments in the paper about half-bloods not being, well…?” Peter asked, looking up from his potions essay.
“Nope. That was Uncle Richard.”
“Well, will he mind Remus coming?” Peter pressed.
Sirius looked at Remus, who was carefully sketching a detailed diagram of a bowtruckle. “I doubt it,” he said. “I mean, he never said he’s only okay with purebloods, but he seems to like Remus.”
I feel like I should comment here, but it just seems so… redundant.
“How would he even know him?” James asked, with a touch of irritation. “None of us have ever met your family outside the train station.”
Sirius shrugged. “Dunno. But hey, here’s your big chance to meet one of the few members of my family you might actually like. C’mon James. Butterbeer.”
“I already said yes.”
“Oh yeah. Pete? Remus? You guys in?”
I'm sorry, but "Pete" for Peter is one of the few non-canon nicknames I can tolerate, because I can't stop myself from doing it. (The other is Pads for Padfoot, but I only ever write that from Remus.)
Peter nodded. “Why not?”
“Remus?”
“All right.”
“I promise he won’t say anything about you being a half-blood.”
“No. I know he won’t.” Remus looked back down at his drawing. “Yeah. I’ll go.”
I feel like I should comment here, but I also feel like it would be redundant.
***
The day of the Hogsmeade excursion was misted over with a light rain. Despite the relatively miserable weather, the boys enjoyed the freedom of being outside and away from the castle. Being allowed to go to Hogsmeade implied a certain level of adulthood, even if they most certainly weren’t acting it. There were shouts and scuffles and a round or two of “can you touch your elbows behind your back?” with the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls, and certainly a few well-placed inappropriate hexes hurled. They spent a good hour in Honeydukes and at least as long in Zonko’s before making their way to The Three Broomsticks.
Seriously. Why do so many R/S-ers write them so grown up at such a young age? It's fun to write them being teenagers. (I'll also freely admit I once fell for the "can you touch your elbows" thing.)
Sirius spotted Alphard immediately, holding a table in the corner. He grinned and waved, pushing through the crowd. As he drew closer, Sirius could see his uncle wasn’t faring so well. The last time he’d seen Alphard had been at Narcissa and Lucius’s wedding; the lights were low and everyone was dressed well. Today Alphard looked absolutely haggard. But his smile was bright as the boys approached, and Sirius noticed he was wearing an old, moth-eaten Gryffindor scarf.
While I don't think the House was a big deal to my Alphard and Sirius, I do think Alphard is deliberately looking for acceptance in this scene. He's having a bad time of it. That's part of why he's wearing the Gryffindor scarf- he wants his nephew and his friends to think he's cool and accept him.
“Sirius,” he said, shaking his great-nephew’s hand, and then drawing him into a quick, tight hug. “Behaving yourself these days?”
“Not really, no.”
“Good lad. Good lad.” Alphard looked at the other three boys. “You must be James Potter,” he said, extending his hand in the correct direction. “You look very much like the pictures of your father. Rumor has it you’re quite the Quidditch player.”
James flushed happily. “Yes sir. Chaser on the Gryffindor team.”
“Excellent, although I’ll always maintain it’s the Keeper that keeps a team together.” Alphard winked. “Hello, Remus,” he said. “Holding up all right?”
One day, I ought to write Alphard as a student. It would be fun.
To Sirius’s surprise, Remus had a wicked knowing grin on his face. “All right, Mr. Black,” he agreed amiably. “You?”
“Not bad. How’s your mother?”
Sirius instinctively caught James’s eye, and they both winced. But as Remus answered, “She’s fine,” they both realized the question had been genuine, not a subtle dig at Remus’s heritage.
They are a little dense, aren't they? That's all right. They're 13.
“Then you must be Peter Pettigrew,” Alphard said, turning to the last of their foursome.
“Yes, sir.” Peter seemed much more intimidated by Alphard than either James or Remus. But Alphard gestured for them all to sit and ordered five butterbeers and some sausages, and Peter began to relax.
Why does noone ever eat anything at the Three Broomsticks? :)
Alphard kept them in hysterics, telling them stories about his own school days. They particularly enjoyed the ones about Professor McGonagall; none of them could really properly imagine her throwing a snowball in revenge, or running through the common room in her nightgown. They couldn’t quite believe that in her day, Minerva McGonagall had been one of the most sought-after girls at Hogwarts.
“Did you date her?” Sirius asked.
“Me? Not at all. She never would have had a chap like me. But let me tell you about old Binns…”
I don't think Alphard was as oblivious as he sounds here, although maybe he was. But there's no way he's going to come out and tell these boys a lot of details about his love life!
They stayed for another hour, listening to Alphard’s stories and telling him their own. It was warm and comfortable in the inn, and Sirius was pleased that at least one member of his family had met his friends.
Alphard was disappointed when they had to leave. He shook James’s and Peter’s hands, hugged Sirius, and then reached out and ruffled Remus’s hair. Sirius felt his eyes on them as they left the inn.
“Y’know,” James said, as they made their way back to Hogwarts, “I think your uncle is really lonely.”
“What gives you that idea?” Sirius asked uncomfortably.
James shrugged. “Dunno. But your family doesn’t seem like the touchy-feely type, and he just… I don’t know. I just think he’s very alone.”
“He is,” Remus agreed. “And he probably will be for the rest of his life.”
Sirius shivered.
Sniffle.
***
“Hey, Sirius, got a minute?” James plopped down onto Sirius’s bed regardless.
“Yeah, I’m just doing this potions essay.”
See? Sirius can do homework and sound in character! Really! Just because he didn't want to study for a Transfiguration test does not mean the boy blows off all homework!
“Why are you up here?”
“Between listening to Remus tease me about actually working and Peter begging me to help, it seemed easier. What’s up?” Sirius set the essay away from him.
Lissa gives in to fanon. :P Just when I was getting smug, too.
“It’s about Christmas,” James said.
“Yeah?”
“Well, my parents have to go to Germany for a convention my Dad’s covering, and then have a lot to do around London. My dad’s trying to get a lot of stuff together on this Lord Voldemort.”
“So?”
“Well, they kind of want me to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas.”
“Want me to stay with you? Spot on!”
“Actually… I was wondering if I could come home with you.”
You would have been better off with Sirius's option, James.
“Huh?”
“Well, I’ve never actually met your parents or anything, and you’ve met mine…”
“There’s a reason for that James. Your parents are normal. Remember what you said about my mother? That she needs to get her head out of her arse?”
“Yeah, but still.”
“Why do you want to come to my house?” Sirius was baffled. “It’s my mother, my father, and my creep of a little brother. There’s nothing to do there. We could just stay here at Hogwarts.”
“Or we could go to your posh place and live like kings.”
Sirius laughed. “You, my friend, are sadly delusional. You didn’t get hit by a bludger in the head tonight, did you?”
You know, I think Sirius is very unaffected by material things in some ways. I mean, we never see any signs of him being rich until OotP, except that he buys Harry an exceedingly expensive broom. But on top of that, Sirius rarely seems to care much about his physical condition. I mean, I realize it takes away from the dramatic effect, but he is free for a YEAR before the Shrieking Shack scene. Couldn't he have done something about his hair? Stolen clean clothes from a clothesline? He doesn't. Even in OotP, he doesn't dress ostentatiously. He doesn’t really fuss about his appearance one way or the other. For all that I will agree Sirius is vain about his intelligence, I just can't believe he's that vain about his appearance.
“No.”
“Shame. All right. If you really want to come… but I don’t want to ask Peter or Remus.”
“That’s why I asked for Christmas. It’s my one chance to see your place without having to worry about it. Peter will want to go home, and there’s a full moon over Christmas.”
“Yeah.” Sirius remembered the last Christmas full moon. “There is.”
Like JKR, I don't check moon charts either. And because DTF is Sirius-centric, they're far enough apart that I mention full moons that it doesn't matter that much. Even in AIL, Remus's transformations are rarely a big deal. (They are sometimes, but not always.) There's just not much to say about them, y'know?
***
The Blacks met James and Sirius off the train that year; for once, all three of them were there. Sirius groaned inwardly as he spotted Regulus. They were formal as they greeted James, so much so that James and Sirius had to avoid looking at each other so they wouldn’t burst into laughter.
Memories of Grimmauld Place seemed less dark to Sirius as they headed home. Having James with him was like opening a window and letting in the sunlight. But as they walked into the foyer, Sirius was suddenly intensely aware of what his home must look like through James’s eyes.
I always think it's interesting to see your own house through other people's eyes. Except when my sister decides to point out cobwebs.
Sirius had told him his family consisted of Dark Wizards, but he’d never given details. He’d never told James about the house elf heads that hung on plaques on the wall, but as he saw James’s disgusted expression he wondered if he should have given forewarning. He’d never told James about the clock that visitors had to avoid lest it start to shoot bolts at them, or the elephant leg that served as an umbrella holder, or the portraits that eyed him with suspicion and speculated about his heritage. The house was opulent, with rich fabrics and heavy crystal, but the light came from sources within.
I suspect that, for a long time, Sirius didn't realize his home was abnormal. And it's not like your friends say, "oh, we don't have House-elf heads hanging on our walls" unless you actually bring the subject up. I really liked doing this whole visit with James.
Everything looked strange to Sirius. Why had he never noticed how many items carried the Black family crest? His mother said it was traditional, and a sign of status. To Sirius it looked like a little kid writing on every possession he owned, determined that no one would take it. Everywhere there was silver, heavy and dull, reflecting the dim light. Rich fabrics, rare woods, marble and stone all shouted their wealth at them. What had ever made him think this was a good idea?
Every now and then, I wonder how rich Sirius's family really was in the time when Sirius lived with them, and how much it was just poor aristocracy. The place really does sound run-down in OotP, but that's also after how many years. Still. Maybe that's why Walburga was so ticked Alphard left money to her degenerate son, and not to her, when she really needed it.
“You boys can put your things in Sirius’s room,” his mother said, breaking across the awkward silence. “Dinner is in a half hour.” James and Sirius nodded, and then escaped.
“Well,” Sirius said as he shut the door to his bedroom. “Are you regretting this yet?”
“No,” James assured him, but his voice was shaking.
“Don’t worry,” Sirius said. “You will.”
Quick, name the movie!
"I'm not afraid!"
"You will be… you will be."
***
James was clearly not comfortable in the House of Black. And after his own initial discomfort, Sirius began to see the humor in the situation. James jumped at the slightest sound, regarded any food we was presented with warily, and Sirius even caught him rooting through the bathroom.
“We don’t keep our poisons in the medicine cabinet,” Sirius drawled, leaning against the door jamb. “They’re in the drawing room.”
Because why should wizards be exempt from rummaging through medicine cabinets to find out more about their hosts?
James jumped guiltily. “I was looking for a bandage,” he stuttered. “I stubbed my toe.”
Sirius looked doubtfully at James’s feet, both of which appeared fine. “Sure.”
James fidgeted. “You don’t really have poisons sitting around the house, do you?”
“I don’t, no. But my parents…” Sirius tried to shrug casually. “I don’t really know.”
“We ought to find out,” James mused.
“Go snooping?”
“Why not? It would give us something to do besides studying, anyway.”
“Hey, I warned you.”
“Yeah, and I should have listened.” James ran a hand through his already unruly black hair, making it stand up even more ridiculously than before. “We could investigate the drawing room after dinner."
Sirius grinned. “All right.”
“Have you ever rummaged through there?” James asked as Sirius turned to shut the door.
“Believe it or not, no.”
I think it's rather interesting that Sirius, who roams the halls of Hogwarts and thinks that rules are something that mean other people, has never snooped in his own home- at least not in the drawing room. Now, obviously, this is a plot device since Sirius finds the book about raising kids in a Dark home, and if he'd found it before it makes the entire plot kind of silly. But is it in character? I think so. I think at Hogwarts is where Sirius began to really find out who he was. He was much freer at Hogwarts. He also began to realize there were two separate sets of rules- the rules of his parents' house and the rules of the school. What he wasn't good at doing was remembering which rules went where :)
***
Dinner that night was a more formal affair than usual, as befitted Christmas Eve. They sat at the long dining room table, dressed in their good robes and eating by candlelight. The previous night, Mrs. Black had explained the make of the china, the silver, and the goblets to James. At the time, Sirius had thought it boring family history that he already knew. But as he observed his friend hesitating over his forks and reluctant to touch his plate for fear of breaking either it or some unknown rule of etiquette, Sirius wondered if his mother knew how snobbish her lecture had come off.
I think, if I were making changes, I would make this paragraph stronger. I like the image of this scene, where Sirius realizes that his mother isn't just teaching family history, but bragging and trying to lord it over James. But there's something about the phrasing that is a bit weaker.
His father plied James with questions. Not questions about the Quidditch team or lessons or teachers, but detailed questions on James’s father’s views. Did Tim support this Lord Voldemort? What were Tim’s feelings on Muggle rights? The Department of Magical Law Enforcement? The current Minister of Magic? James, ever the polite guest, answered the best he could.
Poor James. But I really think this is how Sirius's father would behave.
After dinner, Arden insisted on showing James the family tapestry. James cast Sirius a frantic look, but Sirius couldn’t think of a way to rescue his friend from the upcoming torture. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“You owe me big,” James mouthed back.
Sirius stood to follow them, but his mother glanced up at him. “Let your father show James the family bloodline,” she said. “Sit here with me and keep me company. Regulus has gone up to his room.”
Convenient, no?
Pleased both at the excuse and the invitation, Sirius sat back down.
“I will have to apologize to James,” his mother said, fingering her napkin. “Your father often forgets that you boys are thirteen, and not all that interested in politics and issues.”
“Not really, ma’am,” Sirius smiled.
It had been so long since he’d sat like this with his mother. The summer holidays had been quiet. His mother hadn’t been cold to him, but her primary focus had been Regulus. He hadn’t realized how much he missed these moments until right now.
“I found something very interesting in your room today,” his mother was saying. Sirius shifted guiltily.
“What was that?”
“A seventh year transfiguration book,” his mother said. Sirius cringed, until he noticed that she was smiling. “I must say, Sirius, I was delighted. Transfiguration was always my favorite subject.”
“Really?” He hadn’t known that.
“Oh yes. I wanted to try for the Animagus transformation, but your father didn’t approve.”
I really liked this idea, that Sirius was living his mother's dream. Makes me wonder if it would be fun to have his mother find out about that, and being angry because she couldn't do it and he could.
“No?” Sirius wished his voice wouldn’t crack so badly. But his mother didn’t seem to notice.
“No. There was no need, Arden said. A wife’s place is at home and with her children. With my boys.” There was no bitterness in her voice- she said it as fact. But it was there in her eyes.
“You never had a career?” Sirius asked, shocked.
“What need was there?”
“Would you have liked one?” Sirius pressed.
“I don’t know. In a way, I have one. There’s you and Regulus, and your father. And I do help your father with some of his work.”
Sirius seized the opportunity. “Mother, what exactly does Father do?”
“He’s a Ministry Official, Sirius. You know that.”
“Well, sure. I know that. But what does he do at the Ministry?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Well, he’s Head of the Department of Mysteries. I can’t really tell you much more than that; their work is of a confidential nature.”
God, I love that fact. It makes it so much easier for me.
“Oh. What do you do for him?”
“I help with some of his notes, every now and then I brew a potion. Why the sudden interest, Sirius?"
“Oh, just thinking. About the future, I guess.”
I think there was a reason Sirius's mother was into Potions, but I don't remember. It might have been why she never took him to St. Mungo's and was able to keep him home. I think I also decided was the reason she looked SO old in the portrait was that one of her potions went wrong and aged her prematurely or something. But there was a reason.
His mother smiled again. “It’s never too early for that.”
They were still sitting in companionable silence when Arden returned with James, who still had his politely interested smile nailed to his face.
The "Get me OUT OF HERE" look!
“It’s all a matter of wizarding pride,” Arden was saying. “A proper pureblooded family like mine or yours should guard their bloodlines carefully.”
“Arden,” Elizabeth broke in. “Let the poor boy go. I know he and Sirius have some things they want to finish tonight before Christmas.”
“Oh. Of course.”
Sirius smiled gratefully at his mother as he and James escaped.
“Okay, your father is a nutcase,” James announced when they’d reached the relative safety of the second floor.
Not very British, I think, but very accurate.
Sirius laughed. “What makes you say that?”
“The pureblood thing! It’s like a mania with him, isn’t it?”
“I guess.”
I like that Sirius still hasn't really caught on how abnormal his family is. It's hard to admit to such a thing.
“I can see why you called Remus a Mudblood that first night. Sheesh. Anyway, do you want to go search the drawing room?”
Sirius shook his head, the memory of the warmth between him and his mother still curling around him and fresh in his mind. “Nah. Let’s work on the transformation instead.”
***
Christmas night was a full moon. The sigh of it drained the pleasure of the day from both Sirius and James.
Again. See? I suck as bad as JKR.
“Imagine,” James said as they looked out the window. “What a way to spend Christmas. Poor Remus.”
“I know. But at least he’s home. His parents are mad about him.”
“Seems that way, doesn’t it? At least he’s got that.”
“Yeah.” Sirius flashed back to Mr. Lupin sitting over his son’s bedside all night. “Lucky Remus.”
Regardless of the tension that's always between Damien and Sirius, Sirius has always wanted Damien to like him. I think my young Sirius wants all the fathers to like him, because his own so clearly doesn't.
***
Two days after Christmas, great uncle Alphard arrived. Sirius and James were delighted to see him.
“Come on,” he said, after he’d exchanged pleasantries with the adults. “Come into the library and tell me all about the latest mayhem this generation of Gryffindors is wreaking on Hogwarts.”
They sat at his feet and told him. Sirius and James both were overflowing with words and enthusiasm, interrupting each other to tell the story together. Alphard had settled deep into a plush chair, his lined face tired as his eyes struggled to stay open, but smiling nonetheless.
“And how are the other two?” he asked when they’d finished the tale of Snape’s bouncing textbooks. “Remus and Peter?”
At least they didn't turn Snape's hair pink.
“Peter’s fine,” James said. “Actually, better than fine- he pulled a good grade on his Charms exam and is over the moon. Remus is…” he looked to Sirius for help.
“I hope Remus is fine,” Sirius muttered, thinking heavily of last Christmas.
“He’ll have been worse, I’m sure.”
James looked down at the floor, but Sirius cocked his head and studied his great uncle. Alphard met his eyes squarely, but there was something there… a deep sadness Sirius had never seen.
“Uncle Alphard, you know Remus, don’t you?”
“I met him at the Three Broomsticks.”
“No. You’ve known him for longer than that. The first time I said Remus’s name, back in first year, you insisted I stay friends with him. You said that some things are more important than blood.”
“I did.”
“You don’t live near him.”
“No.”
“You don’t work with his father, and you certainly don’t work with his mother.”
“No.” Alphard wouldn’t let Sirius’s eyes go. “Come on boy,” he said softly. “You’re a smart lad. Put it together.”
The pieces were already clicking together rapidly, and the conclusion was easy now that he knew what to look for. Beside him, James drew in a sharp breath and Sirius knew he was right. “You’re a werewolf?” Sirius made it into a question.
“Yes.”
He wasn’t surprised. This time. “How long?” he asked.
I really like how this conversation went, incidentally.
“I was bitten when you were ten, so a little over three years now.”
“Does Father know?”
“Absolutely not. A Black a werewolf? Very few people know.”
“Remus knows though, doesn’t he?” James spoke up, his eyes wide behind the glasses.
“He does. Werewolves are required to appear at the Werewolf Registry periodically- or more accurately, regularly. It just happens we usually have our appointments on the same day.”
“Oh.” James sat back and looked at Sirius.
I think, at this point, I'd already started thinking about Mentors. The whole big point of Mentors was Alphard helping Remus cope with the Prank, and saying some things I really wanted to say. I do think that Remus could have come to that realization on his own, but I'm glad I wrote Mentors regardless.
Sirius had the most disturbing urge to cry. It wasn’t that his great uncle had hidden this information- that was something Sirius could finally understand. It was something that Remus had said after their trip to The Three Broomsticks. I just think he’s very alone, James had said. He is, Remus had agreed. And he probably will be for the rest of his life.
As he looked at his great uncle who was waiting for a reaction, Sirius knew it was true. Alphard Black was facing the remainder of his life alone. Carefully, he stood up and hugged him.
Awww.
One of the traps I think I fall into sometimes- especially in DTF- is making boys too touchy feely. But even though boys don't generally express emotion for other men physically, I do think a hug upon finding out your favorite relative is a werewolf isn't unreasonable- especially because of Alphard's reaction. And this is a BIG thing for Alphard.
Alphard stiffened at first in the embrace, but soon his arms tightened around Sirius, clinging to him desperately for a long moment.
“We won’t tell,” Sirius promised as he held onto his uncle. “Ever , if that’s what you want.”
“Thank you,” Alphard whispered. He pulled away, wiping his eyes. “Thank you both.”
“Would the family really respond that badly?” James asked. “Remus’s family doesn’t.”
“Trust me. The House of Black would freak,” Sirius said.
Do I need to comment?
Alphard nodded. “The Lupins are exceptional. That level of support is very unusual, and probably due to the fact it’s easier for people to accept such a thing in a darling child as opposed to an old man.” He sighed. Now that the revelation was over, Alphard seemed to be heading back into the uncle that Sirius knew. “In fact,” he was saying, his voice perfectly even now, “I have great respect for Marilyn, Remus’s mother. I don’t approve of mixed marriages, mind you, particularly those like the Lupins’. But despite the fact she is a Muggle, Marilyn copes with everything. Many witches wouldn’t be able to do that.”
Really wishing about the Marilyn-Alphard dynamic. Maybe I'll get time to write that. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
“Why don’t you approve of mixed marriages?” James asked quickly.
To Sirius’s surprise, Alphard took the question quite seriously. “I won’t give you any of that twaddle about wizarding pride,” he said, “although I certainly would have a few years ago. But being on the other side of a fence makes you rethink and re-defend a lot of your convictions. It’s not a matter of pride, but it IS a matter of culture. Muggles have not grown up with our ways, and we don’t understand theirs. Many of those marriages don’t work out. And then consider the children… where do they really fit in? They aren’t one world or the other. When the adults marry, two consenting adults make a decision about their future and what they are willing to face. When a child is born, he or she does not make that decision. The parents are inflicting discrimination on their offspring.”
This was taken very much from a conversation my mother and I had about racially mixed marriages. I don't agree with it, but it's far more reasonable than most rationales. I do think that this could be an issue in racially mixed marriages, but I also think it's very much a workable one, as long as both parties have the right attitude.
The boys considered this. “But you said Mrs. Lupin adapted well,” Sirius finally protested.
“There’s oddities in every case, of course. Marilyn Lupin is an oddity.”
It was funny that someone who would have to endure the prejudice of an entire world for the rest of his life could be so unaccepting, Sirius thought. But then, at least Alphard had offered logic, and maybe even had a point. Sirius wasn’t sure he agreed, but it was better than Alphard just saying that he was right. He shook his head.
In her commentary on Teenage Kicks,
shaggydogstail mentioned how she always sees Sirius as someone who makes judgments based on his own observations instead of what other people say. I agree with her very, very much.Alphard was standing. “I should go speak with Arden. He’ll worry I’m encouraging you boys to burn down Hogwarts.”
Because burning down a stone castle is so easy!
The boys both scrambled to their feet. “We’ll stay here,” James offered. “Let you and Mr. Black carry on a proper adult conversation. We’ve got some plans to make. Like how to get matches.”
And even if stone could burn, they would do it with Muggle means.
Alphard chuckled. “Cute. Well, good night then, boys. Sleep well.”
“Wow,” James said as the door clicked shut behind Alphard.
“Yeah.” Sirius was still reeling. “Wow.”
They both stood in silence for a moment.
“Y’know…” James began, that familiar tone in his voice.
“Uh-oh. I know what?”
“We don’t have to start our search with the drawing room. Let’s start with the library.”
“Huh?”
“Well, we’re here. Your parents are downstairs, and you’ll know they’ll be with Alphard for quite some time. Regulus is… well, where does the creep go?”
“Who cares? He’s not here,” Sirius said, nodding. “You’re right. Let’s do it.”
I like that after this serious discussion, James and Sirius promptly return to what they do best- breaking rules. I also like that they really want to check out the library as well. Sirius is an avidly curious and intelligent person, as is James. Books would probably be fascinating to them, especially if they were full of dangerous but exciting magic.
You know what movie foursome I actually consider a good comparison for the marauders in terms of attitude? The Rocket Boys from October Sky. (Incidentally, October Sky is an anagram for Rocket Boys, the original title of Homer Hickim's autobiographical novel.)
They started with the bookshelves. Sirius had pursued them over the years, but never gotten that far. Far too many of the books had such boring titles. Purebloods: the Nobility of the Wizarding World. Halfblood Marriages: The Downfall of the Wizarding World. Pureblood Pride. Aristocracy of Wizards. Sirius made a face.
I'm guessing Sirius started here because it's a section he's never looked through closely, whereas where James is hanging out is one where he has.
Farther down the wall James was muttering. “Most Potente Potions, that’s in the Restricted Section at Hogwarts. [i]Poisons and Antidotes, Potions and Hexes…, boy, your mom sure has a lot of potions books.”
“Yeah. Mother told me she brews potions for Father. Here’s something on the Unforgivable Curses, but man… it’s dry. It looks like a legal discourse or the theory or something. Yeah, history, legal implications... it's not like it says how to perform them or anything."”
"Cast Unforgivable Curses in Nine Easy Steps!" (The review on the back would be "A must for all aspiring Death Eaters!")
“Here’s a load of transfiguration books,” James said. “Lots on the Animagus transformation. You should nick a few.”
“I should.” Sirius picked up a book with a dust jacket that proclaimed Household Pests: How to Combat Them and idly flipped it open, half-wondering if it would have any hints about dealing with Regulus. “What are we looking for, anyway? How to Practice the Dark Arts: a Home Guide? How to Curse Family, Friends and Neighbors?” He looked down at the title page and froze.
“Sirius?”
“Raising Children in a Dark Home.”
“Oh, go on… blimey. You’re serious.”
Sirius was staring at the front page, his eyes wide.
“Sirius….”
“It said Household Pests on the cover. It wasn’t supposed to be this, James. It was supposed to be….”
Alarmed, James seized Sirius’s arm and dragged him to a chair, forcing him to sit. “What does it say?” he whispered.
With numb fingers, Sirius turned to the table of contents. “’Protecting Your Children from Poisons,’” he read. “’Childproofing a Dark Home. When Children Start Asking Questions. No,” he pushed the book away and shook his head. “People don’t write books like this. This is a joke.”
James took the book. “’Coping with Challenges to Your Methods. Discipline versus Abuse, and Dealing with Perception. Page 89.’” James flipped. “’It’s a common assumption that those who practice the Dark Arts also practice neglect, mistreatment, or even abuse of their children,’” he read out loud. “’While this may indeed be the case for some wizards, it is not true for all those who practice the Dark Arts, just as it is true that wizards who avoid the Dark Arts are capable of committing these crimes. Despite prejudice to the contrary, the two are not connected. However, children in any house do require discipline in order to learn valuable lessons. In this chapter we shall examine the differences between discipline and abuse, discuss how to effectively discipline a child, and explain how a wizard can do so without being accused of abuse merely because he or she practices the Dark Arts.” James whistled through his teeth. “This nutter’s serious.”
I thought this idea was kind of interesting, although I chuckle to think how different it would be if I wrote it now, after reading "What to Expect the First Year." It's pretty canon to me that you can be a Dark Wizard and love your child- it always baffles me to see people write Draco Malfoy as horribly abused, because it's obvious he's not. If anything, he gets the same treatment at home as Dudley does. While some people might consider that a form of abuse, I would call that bad parenting because clearly the Dursleys and the Malfoys want their child to be happy. In fact, I would actually say the Malfoys are better parents than the Dursleys, because Lucius does actually comment a bit acidly on Draco's marks, implying that there is some level of discipline in the Malfoy household. But there's also no denying that the pair of them are Death Eaters raising a Death Nibbler. So the bit about discipline, while it's relevant to the plot, is also a bit of me being frustrated with fandom. But also, I'd like to think there's some system that can protect wizarding children from abusive parents, and if that is the case this may be a very real concern for Dark Wizards.
Further, on the subject of abuse, I admit I don't know tons about it. But I'm guessing that most abusive parents don't have a child with the intention to abuse it. I think it's far more complicated than that, which is why Sirius's parents swing rather wildly.
“My parents aren’t abusive,” Sirius pointed out, his voice shaking and cracking as he said it. “They’re strict, but they aren’t abusive.”
“Um.”
“They aren’t.”
James just shook his head.
“They aren’t!”
“I never said they were.” James tapped the book against his hand. “I’d say they practice Dark Arts though.”
James clearly believes they are, and I'm not sure I disagree with him. But it's got to be hard for Sirius to admit that right now. And James has some shred of wisdom not to press it.
“We knew that,” Sirius muttered
“I did.”
“I did too. Alphard told me we’re a family of Dark Wizards last Christmas.” Sirius couldn’t quite speak right as he looked at the book in James’s hand. That book drove it home more than finding potions or artifacts or even a dead body would have done. His parents practiced the Dark Arts.
Gotta love denial.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Sirius continued. “I mean, it doesn’t mean anything about me.”
“I know.” James shook it off. “Yeah. I know.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Come on,” James said. “It’s late. Let’s go back to your room.” He put the book back on the shelves and led a numb Sirius away.
Sirius didn’t say another word for the rest of the night.
You know, I really want to hug Sirius in this chapter, but I also really, really want to hug James for how he treats him. James may have had his less attractive moments, but he must have been pretty cool.
***
Part 2 of commentary
