God, Give me Patience...

[lls_mutant]

Wow, is Toby being a terror today. Wow.

The food issue is driving me insane. The doctor said to no longer give him baby food, but he can have the things he likes- oatmeal, yogurt, spaghetti-O's, mashed sweet potatoes, etc. But now he's really starting to throw tantrums when presented with something that's not one of those things.

For breakfast, he usually gets a bowl of oatmeal followed by some mini-muffins. Today, he refused to eat his oatmeal. (He also wouldn't eat the waffle or pancake he was offered.) So he didn't get the muffins. All he had for breakfast were some Cheerios. And for lunch, he threw SUCH a tantrum over the sandwich, I couldn't even give him yogurt. He's throwing the tantrum because he wants the yogurt. If he'd pushed the sandwich away and said "no", I would have given him the yogurt. But he threw a tantrum, and that's just... UGH.

He's napping now. Hallelujah.

I'll give him something he likes for dinner tonight, but wow. This kid is driving me insaaaaaaaaane.

Comments

[aome.livejournal.com]

*pats* I'd like to throttle Two, myself, although over different issues. Hang in there - he'll figure out what it takes to get some food.

[velvetmouse]

My mom, who had to put up with two VERY picky children (and successfully raised them so that neither starved, ended up malnurished, and both eventually learned to like lots of foods), offers the following wisdom/commiseration/advice:

* offer two choices -- one at least has to be usually acceptable

* don't worry if he has a diet that consists of about 4 different foods. he won't die of malnutrition, esp. if you can get milk or juice in him.

* don't worry if he doesn't accept new foods. he will eventually, even if it's not until he's 16 (speaking from experience here, my dear brother)

* don't worry if he doesn't eat anything that isn't white/beige. just throw those multivitamins in him

* try being cute with sandwiches, as in cut them up into itty bitty pieces before you even offer it to him. a few cheerios and sandwich bits on a plate might do it (but DON'T let them touch each other!)

* start with something he does like, like yogurt, and then give him option of rejecting the sandwich, modeling 'no thank you, not today' (i.e. be ready with the 'no thank you?' prompt as soon as you even guesses he's going to say no to something)

* unless you have some specific objection to it, Grazing is Good. Multiple small meals and snacks might go over better than "breakfast" "lunch" and "dinner"

* similarly, try not to make food a battle ground. missing a meal or two won't kill him. save the battles for things that are really important, like safety rules and interacting with other people.

* and, most importantly, don't let anybody else make you feel guilty about his eating habits

This has been your unsolicited advice for the day. :)

Hang in there. This too shall pass. :)

[misscake]

It sounds like he's testing you to see how far he can push you. Tantrums are just no fun, but stay calm and firm and he'll quickly learn who's in charge.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Isn't there some kind of island we could ship them to for a little while?

BTW- we tried your trick of "painting the house" with water yesterday. AWESOME! It was such a hit, one of the neighbor boys came over to do it too because it looked like so much fun. They had a great time. Thanks!!!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Actually, it was pretty solicited :) And thank you!!!! There were a few on there I really need to write down and memorize. Thanks so much! :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks. The staying calm part is definitely tough- must work on that! :) (Not that it's ever bad for him in terms of his safety. But I can blow my top volume-wise, and I know that's not at all effective!)

[velvetmouse]

No problem. If people throw enough tips and tricks at you, you're bound to find some that work with him.

Also, try to remember that he's just starting to really verbalize and some of his temper tantrums may be a product of frustration with himself, for not having the words to express himself. Hard to remain tranquil when cheerios are flying all over the room, but... it isn't necessarily directed at *you* or even the food.

I was also introduced at a very young age to a category of food call "good-for-yous". This is anything with some nutritional value - peanut butter, cheese, milk, veggies, etc. It was ingrained in me that I had to have some good-for-yous before I was allowed to have a cookie/dessert/candy. I was also allowed to have a good-for-you *with* my sweet (i.e. a glass of milk with a cookie). This served two things that I can see nearly 30 years later - I am incapable of having a piece of cake without a glass of milk, and also prevented me from ever having the impulse to binge on candy. It was never prohibited in my house, it just came with restrictions.

Toby might be a little young yet to get this concept, but it might be worth starting to implement a similar vocabulary and concept - the idea of "you have to have something that mommy says is okay first. then you can have the thing that you want."