Writing, Fanfic, and Connections
Jul. 17th, 2008 07:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantI am really resisting writing BSG fic. It's kind of frustrating. Well, not right this minute, because I'm using most of my spare time to finish a baby blanket for a friend. But I should have that done this weekend (I hope!), and I really need to come up with a new pursuit.
See, I have this idea for a fic. But there are problems with it. Lots of problems.
On the rewatch, I've been rather fascinated with Gaeta. It's funny, because the first time around I didn't really notice him, to the point where when we saw him on New Caprica with his hair grown out, I almost didn't recognize him. New Caprica is where I started getting interested in him, and Collaborators (one of my favorite episodes) is what cemented it. Plus, although my OTP is Roslin/Adama, I have no desire to fic that because I want the show, damn it. It's like HP- I've always loved Harry, but I never wrote fic about him because I wanted Rowling's version and knew I'd get it. Remus and Sirius had much more room.
Anyway, I'd love to write a fic called "Hell Hath No Fury" (always a bad/good sign when I have a title from the get-go- it means I really know what the story is about) starting around the beginning of the series and going through Crossroads, when Gaeta lies in court and basically tries to get Baltar airlocked. The first time through, I thought that Gaeta just had a major case of hero worship. The second time, I'm really not convinced it's not a crush.
So I'd start from the beginning, and focus a lot of the Gaeta-Dee friendship. Which would be fun, because there would be reactions when Dee two-times Billy. And Dee would be concerned and sisterly loving about Gaeta's crush on Baltar. And there would be the whole Sacrifice episode where Billy dies, and some angst, and eventually the settling on New Caprica, and Gaeta leaving to be Baltar's aide. And Dee wouldn't approve, but she does love him so she'd support him, and before he fully settled on the surface he'd be her witness/attendant when she married Lee. (I guess Helo would be Lee's.) And on the surface, working as Baltar's aide, there would be a few nights where there was some sex with Baltar. And because I'm mean and I think you can make a case from it based on his "life on hold" comment, Gaeta would totally be a virgin and get attached, even though he knows it's a bad idea. And then Baltar would start his little threesomes and drug abuse and all that, and Gaeta would get frustrated. But every now and then Baltar would throw him a bone and give him a night, especially because he needs Gaeta to do all the boring stuff. And then Gaeta would get really frustrated, and would actually meet this nice Saggitarian boy and they would hook up. And he'd actually be happy for five minutes, which isn't something the poor guy gets often. It would be strong enough that at one point Baltar would make advances and Gaeta would refuse, and Baltar would actually be kind of impressed in spite of himself. And then the temple raids would happen, which of COURSE is why I made Gaeta's boyfriend Saggitarian, because he would be killed in them. And grief-stricken, Gaeta would end up right back where he was. Then of course the occupation happens, and his loyalties to the Fleet and humanity have always outweighed his loyalties to Baltar, and he'd begin to get angry. And then canon would continue (with some focus on him and Dee repairing their friendship but it never being the same), and when Baltar whispered his little secret to Gaeta and threatened to implicate him in the massacre, it would really hurt because Gaeta had lost more in that massacre than Baltar ever knew, thus the stabbing him with the pen thing. And, transformation complete, the story would end with Gaeta unrepentently lying about Baltar on the witness stand.
Phew.
But there are problems with it. One. BSG is an open canon at the moment, telling a distinct story. The character I'm interested in is minor, but I think it's been made clear he's still an important part of the story and has an important part to play. In fact, I'm really not sure if Gaeta is a Cylon or not. Before the last episode, I was convinced he was, but now I'm not since D'Anna said the final Cylon is not with the fleet and she knows Gaeta, given his proximity to Baltar. Plus, I read an interview with the actor that plays Gaeta, and they are going to resolve the Baltar-Gaeta storyline. He didn't give any details, and I don't consider that a real spoiler because it pretty much HAS to happen, but they are.
The thing about fanficcing an open canon is that I get attached to my theories and my plotlines, and I can get a little frustrated if the story doesn't go my way. And since Gaeta's plotline is obviously still open- and potentially major- the whole idea could get jossed, and I hate that. So I'm not really sure I feel like writing it for that reason.
Two, it's fanfic. My gut is telling me that I need to start moving away from fanfic and writing original stuff, not move to another fandom and get sucked in. Not that there's a thing wrong with fanfic- quite the contrary. But that's just it.
I'm in this phase right now- I go through them a lot- of not being very happy. I mean, I'm happy with my marriage and I'm happy with my kids, but I'm wanting something more. Fortunately, I am a wise enough woman to know what that more is, and it's twofold. One is that I want to do something productive- something important. (This would be the original fiction.) But the other is that I want to connect with people. I want to feel a part of the world- being a SAHM can get very isolating. And fanfic is what gives me that. See the contradiction?
If I was better at balancing stories, I'd just do both. But I suspect that I need to focus more stringently on the original stuff if I want to get it going. And once I get absorbed in something, it sort of consumes me. I don't need that to happen in BSG, where I'm not even an established name in the fandom and there's no guarantee anyone would even read what I write, no matter how good it is. (Unfortunately, I LIKE that carving out process.)
But that's the true lure of fanfic to me- the instant feedback. The "hey, this is great!" stuff. (I like the "hey, you're being way to expository here" stuff too, but it just doesn't give you the same boost ;) ) Plus, it's easy. The world is created for you. The main plotlines are there. And that's kind of scary, because I don't need it to be easy.
Ah, well. I shall continue to hold out and resist! I shall prevail!
And I shall go feed my kid and take them both to the park. Heh- the other day Toby said to me, "I want to go to the P-A-R-K." That euphanism didn't last long.
See, I have this idea for a fic. But there are problems with it. Lots of problems.
On the rewatch, I've been rather fascinated with Gaeta. It's funny, because the first time around I didn't really notice him, to the point where when we saw him on New Caprica with his hair grown out, I almost didn't recognize him. New Caprica is where I started getting interested in him, and Collaborators (one of my favorite episodes) is what cemented it. Plus, although my OTP is Roslin/Adama, I have no desire to fic that because I want the show, damn it. It's like HP- I've always loved Harry, but I never wrote fic about him because I wanted Rowling's version and knew I'd get it. Remus and Sirius had much more room.
Anyway, I'd love to write a fic called "Hell Hath No Fury" (always a bad/good sign when I have a title from the get-go- it means I really know what the story is about) starting around the beginning of the series and going through Crossroads, when Gaeta lies in court and basically tries to get Baltar airlocked. The first time through, I thought that Gaeta just had a major case of hero worship. The second time, I'm really not convinced it's not a crush.
So I'd start from the beginning, and focus a lot of the Gaeta-Dee friendship. Which would be fun, because there would be reactions when Dee two-times Billy. And Dee would be concerned and sisterly loving about Gaeta's crush on Baltar. And there would be the whole Sacrifice episode where Billy dies, and some angst, and eventually the settling on New Caprica, and Gaeta leaving to be Baltar's aide. And Dee wouldn't approve, but she does love him so she'd support him, and before he fully settled on the surface he'd be her witness/attendant when she married Lee. (I guess Helo would be Lee's.) And on the surface, working as Baltar's aide, there would be a few nights where there was some sex with Baltar. And because I'm mean and I think you can make a case from it based on his "life on hold" comment, Gaeta would totally be a virgin and get attached, even though he knows it's a bad idea. And then Baltar would start his little threesomes and drug abuse and all that, and Gaeta would get frustrated. But every now and then Baltar would throw him a bone and give him a night, especially because he needs Gaeta to do all the boring stuff. And then Gaeta would get really frustrated, and would actually meet this nice Saggitarian boy and they would hook up. And he'd actually be happy for five minutes, which isn't something the poor guy gets often. It would be strong enough that at one point Baltar would make advances and Gaeta would refuse, and Baltar would actually be kind of impressed in spite of himself. And then the temple raids would happen, which of COURSE is why I made Gaeta's boyfriend Saggitarian, because he would be killed in them. And grief-stricken, Gaeta would end up right back where he was. Then of course the occupation happens, and his loyalties to the Fleet and humanity have always outweighed his loyalties to Baltar, and he'd begin to get angry. And then canon would continue (with some focus on him and Dee repairing their friendship but it never being the same), and when Baltar whispered his little secret to Gaeta and threatened to implicate him in the massacre, it would really hurt because Gaeta had lost more in that massacre than Baltar ever knew, thus the stabbing him with the pen thing. And, transformation complete, the story would end with Gaeta unrepentently lying about Baltar on the witness stand.
Phew.
But there are problems with it. One. BSG is an open canon at the moment, telling a distinct story. The character I'm interested in is minor, but I think it's been made clear he's still an important part of the story and has an important part to play. In fact, I'm really not sure if Gaeta is a Cylon or not. Before the last episode, I was convinced he was, but now I'm not since D'Anna said the final Cylon is not with the fleet and she knows Gaeta, given his proximity to Baltar. Plus, I read an interview with the actor that plays Gaeta, and they are going to resolve the Baltar-Gaeta storyline. He didn't give any details, and I don't consider that a real spoiler because it pretty much HAS to happen, but they are.
The thing about fanficcing an open canon is that I get attached to my theories and my plotlines, and I can get a little frustrated if the story doesn't go my way. And since Gaeta's plotline is obviously still open- and potentially major- the whole idea could get jossed, and I hate that. So I'm not really sure I feel like writing it for that reason.
Two, it's fanfic. My gut is telling me that I need to start moving away from fanfic and writing original stuff, not move to another fandom and get sucked in. Not that there's a thing wrong with fanfic- quite the contrary. But that's just it.
I'm in this phase right now- I go through them a lot- of not being very happy. I mean, I'm happy with my marriage and I'm happy with my kids, but I'm wanting something more. Fortunately, I am a wise enough woman to know what that more is, and it's twofold. One is that I want to do something productive- something important. (This would be the original fiction.) But the other is that I want to connect with people. I want to feel a part of the world- being a SAHM can get very isolating. And fanfic is what gives me that. See the contradiction?
If I was better at balancing stories, I'd just do both. But I suspect that I need to focus more stringently on the original stuff if I want to get it going. And once I get absorbed in something, it sort of consumes me. I don't need that to happen in BSG, where I'm not even an established name in the fandom and there's no guarantee anyone would even read what I write, no matter how good it is. (Unfortunately, I LIKE that carving out process.)
But that's the true lure of fanfic to me- the instant feedback. The "hey, this is great!" stuff. (I like the "hey, you're being way to expository here" stuff too, but it just doesn't give you the same boost ;) ) Plus, it's easy. The world is created for you. The main plotlines are there. And that's kind of scary, because I don't need it to be easy.
Ah, well. I shall continue to hold out and resist! I shall prevail!
And I shall go feed my kid and take them both to the park. Heh- the other day Toby said to me, "I want to go to the P-A-R-K." That euphanism didn't last long.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-18 02:04 am (UTC)Also, I'm a huge fan of AIL. Any plans for the next chapter?
no subject
Date: 2009-03-05 07:26 pm (UTC)And I'm in mourning for what sounds like a perfectly lovely fic-that-never-was with lots of Dee+Felix BFF action plus New Caprica angst. Those right there, my two favourite things in BSG.