lls_mutant

YAY!

rs_games reveals finally happened, and go Team Post-Hogwarts! And even better, now I can finally say that I'm the one responsible for The Last Answer.

Hahaha. Of course I'm not. That's

kasche. But it's the only one I could think of that the creator's identity was more obvious than mine. I wrote He That Believeth In Me, as obvious by the fact it's 91 pages in Word (41K+ words), it references Deny Thy Father in one spot, and oh, I've been talking about writing Sirius as a priest just to see if I could do it since I wrote Men and Angels.

I want to talk a lot more about the fic, but my little ones are getting antsy, so I'll put it in a separate post. So, for now, fresh from the

rs_games, here we go.

Name:

lupinslittlesis
Team: Post-Hogwarts
Title: He That Believeth In Me
Rating: PG-13 with smatterings of R
Warnings:
1.) Contains a lot of references to religion- both positive and negative.
2.) Canon compliant, even if the summary sounds crack-worthy.
3.) Sirius/OMC before Sirius/Remus
4.) I got carried away.
5.) Anonymity? What's that?
Summary: Voldemort's reign shattered homes, families, and dreams. Sirius Black was no exception: once, he'd wanted to be a priest.
Prompt: Taurus: Like a garden that has endured a long winter, your leaves have shriveled and your stems have withered. But with Venus now in your sign, your zest for life will return and inspire an old and nearly forgotten dream. A revival has begun.

Genre(s): Angst/Drama, Hurt/Comfort

"You want to WHAT?" Professor McGonagall asked, eyes popping out of their sockets. Sirius had never seen McGonagall lose her composure quite like that, and it would be entertaining if he hadn't meant what he said.

"To be a priest," Sirius said, sitting back and crossing his arms smugly, to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it." Professor McGonagall patted her bun. "But it doesn't seem in character for you, Sirius."

That stung. "I've gone to Mass every single Sunday. Every. Single. One. I was confirmed my third year. I confess every single week." McGonagall snorted, but Sirius ignored her. "I even served as an altar boy, for God's sake. The only other person in Gryffindor- no, in Hogwarts- that even goes to church every Sunday is Lily Evans."

"I'd never be so presumptuous as to question your devotion, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said. She looked over the rim of her spectacles knowingly. "It's your behavior that gives me pause."

"Oh. That." Sirius grinned devilishly. "Well, I said I wanted to be a priest, not a saint."

***

"Good morning, Heathen!" Sirius said cheerfully, because Sunday mornings were for truces.

"Lovely day, Papist pig!" Lily responded with a grin. She was leaning against the gates to the school, standing slightly apart from the small delegation of students who attended religious services. "So? How did it go?"

"She's still picking her jaw up off the floor," Sirius chuckled. "But she said she'd get me the information I need."

"And Potter?" Lily asked derisively. Sirius didn't answer right away, and Lily's scowl deepened. "You didn't tell him, did you?"

Sirius shrugged helplessly. "He wouldn't believe me." Lily sniffed, and Sirius glared at her. "Hey, when you decide to tell your best friends that you want to be a nun-"

"Ha!"

"Then you can be all sanctimonious at me. But right now, you don't get that honor."

Lily sniffed again. "If I was actually going to lose my mind and be a nun, my friends would believe me."

Sirius thought of Lily's best friend and snorted. "Yeah, right."

***

"Well," Remus said, as they all stepped off the Hogwarts Express for the last time. "That's that."

"We're free men," Peter said, stretching luxuriously. "Well, free until work starts."

"Speak for yourselves," Sirius said laconically. "Some of us aren't going to work."

"You don't mean that, Padfoot," James teased. "You just won't tell us what you're doing."

"Nope. I do mean it. I have no intention of being a broom designer like you, James, or an owl trainer like Peter, or a curse-breaker like Remus wants to be. I'm just going to be for a while."

"You'll get bored," Peter said, his voice heavy with doom. "And when you're bored, things go badly."

"Trust me, Wormtail," Sirius said with a smile. "That won't be possible."

***

There wasn't a wizarding seminary since so few people felt called to the life that it really wasn't worth it. Sirius was grateful that his defiance of his parents had led him to Muggle Studies, because he didn't feel nearly so out of place as he might have when he entered St. John's for the Selection Conference.

He looked around at his fellow potential students, suddenly aware that for the first time he was in a world where he knew no one, and no one knew him. The little world of Wizarding society suddenly seemed so… so incestuous. For a moment, he shrunk back into the leather of his jacket, as nervous as any first year about to be sorted.

Another lad caught his eye. He was tall, with tousled brown hair and the brightest blue eyes Sirius had ever seen. He smiled and winked, and Sirius smiled back.

"Hi. I'm Gabriel." The other boy extended his hand. He was the only other student there wearing denims, and Sirius couldn't help but notice that although they were clean, the knees were worn and the cuffs were frayed. "Gabriel Graham."

"Sirius Black."

"Interesting name."

"My parents are… interesting people." Sirius grinned. "My mother's name is Walburga."

"Oh, that's just wrong!" Gabriel said, recoiling dramatically. He laughed, a warm, all-encompassing laugh that made Sirius relax completely. "So there's some sort of reverse retribution going on."

"Better than prophetic names," Sirius said, thinking of Remus Lupin. But Gabriel grinned again, and Sirius realized that his statement fit more than one person. "So. What happens next?"

"Interviews, I guess? Small group discussions? They were rather vague." Gabriel glanced at another lad who was standing near them, in freshly pressed pants and shiny leather shoes. "I'll be glad when it's over, though, and we know if we're in."

"Me, too," Sirius agreed, fingering his long hair absently. "Definitely."

***

"Mr. Black? I'm Angus McMurray. Please, come this way."

Sirius followed the older gentleman. He'd already talked to his first interviewer about his faith, which had been easy. And he'd talked to the second about Catholic history and his academic achievement in general, discussing the slightly doctored transcript that the Ministry of Magic had helped him produce. Both encounters had been less stressful than an O.W.L. exam, and Sirius was confident he'd made a good impression. He settled down across from McMurray, cheerful and ready to talk.

"How are you doing?" McMurray asked. He was an older man with a kind smile and a gray comb over, dressed conservatively in a button-down shirt, a cardigan, and khaki trousers. Sirius liked his smile very much; it made him think that McMurray must be very good with children.

"All right," he answered.

"It's a long few days, I know," McMurray said. "But I hope you're finding it enjoyable as well."

"I am." Sirius rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans.

"I understand you've talked to Ellen Conrad about the history of the Church and your schooling, and to Father Mackenzie about your faith." Sirius nodded an affirmative. "Good. What I'd like to talk about is something a little more personal. I'd like to know more about your family."

Sirius bit his lip for a moment. "My family."

"Yes. Tell me about them. Start small, if you have to. What do your parents do for a living?"

"They're evil hate-mongering bigots that I left years ago."

McMurray looked a little surprised. "Care to elaborate on that?"

Sirius sighed and sat back, hugging himself. "Look. I know the Bible says Honor thy mother and thy father, and I tried, I really did. I stuck it out until I was sixteen, and then when I did leave, I just left. But my parents… they believe that anyone not of their type should be a lesser part of society. Rounded up, denied rights and privileges…. That's something I can't understand, and I can't forgive. Especially because they couldn't forgive me for not believing the same thing."

McMurray was clearly shaken. "Are your parents Nazis?"

"What? Oh, no." Sirius shook his head. "But I guess the closest descriptor would be white supremacists," he said. "It's more of a philosophical belief than a political one."

"I see. And you didn't…"

"Become a supremacist myself?" Sirius looked away. "No." He took several deep breaths, trying to pull together his thoughts. "When I was younger, I did love them. But my father… he didn't tolerate any sort of questioning. Nothing out of line with his beliefs. And when I went to school and made friends with the very sort of people he hated…." He trailed off, staring out the window. Instead of seeing the green world flush with summer's heat, he saw the dark interior of his childhood home and the fury of his parents. He shuddered.

"What about siblings?" McMurray asked softly.

"I have a brother," Sirius said, spitting out the word. "Well, one brother by blood. He's just as bad as my parents."

McMurray made a few notes on his pad. "You said a brother by blood. You have other brothers?"

Suddenly, Sirius could see the sunshine outside again. He relaxed, surprised that his muscles had been so knotted. "Three, actually, but not by blood. I met them my first year of school, and we've been friends ever since. They're more than friends- they are my family, in the truest meaning of the word."

"Tell me about them."

So Sirius told McMurray about them. He told him how they'd met, how they'd fought, how they'd forged bonds. He told them how they'd discovered Remus was sick with a disease that made him an outcast from society, and how they'd stayed friends with him anyway, because that's what friends did. He told him about how when he decided to run from home, he ran to James, because they were so close he already knew what the answer was, and that he was welcome as the morning sun at the Potters'. He told him how even now they were still like family, even though Remus was living with his folks and James was engaged and Peter had bought his own cottage and Sirius himself had a flat in London. His voice grew warmer and more enthusiastic as he talked, because this was his family. This was love.

***

"So?" Gabriel asked him when they sat down for lunch the second day of the Selection Conference. "How do you think it's going?"

"Hard to tell, because I've never exactly done this before," Sirius said. "But I think it's going well. You?"

Gabriel shrugged. The gesture highlighted his thin shoulders, and Sirius found it rather fascinating for some reason. "I guess well enough. I know I shouldn't, but I worry about the whole money aspect." He gestured vaguely at his worn clothes.

"Gabe, they're priests. Vow of poverty. That's the last thing that will stand in your way."

"I know. It's just that it has so many times before." Gabriel stabbed his fork into a piece of meat, and then shook himself. "But you're right. What did your group do for discussion?"

"Paul's letters to the Ephesians. You?"

"Leviticus. Good old fire and brimstone."

Sirius laughed. Truth be told, the discussion group had been a bit unnerving, at first. There was a huge difference between going to Mass every Sunday and tormenting the priest afterwards with a multitude of questions and discussing faith and Biblical matters with strangers his own age. After all, James, Remus, and Peter thought that he was up in Scotland visiting a few other friends, not interviewing for seminary.

But he'd tell them once he got in. He would.

***

The interviews were fine, but this, waiting to hear the decision from his bishop, was nerve-wracking. Sirius sat in Bishop Goodwin's antechamber alone, fingers knitted together so tightly that the knuckles were white. He looked around like a tourist, despite the fact he'd been coming to this tiny Wizarding church since he was born. The small room was as cozy as ever, but he couldn't get comfortable.

Finally, Bishop Goodwin came out of his office. "Sirius?"

He jumped to his feet. "Yes?"

"Please come in."

There was something about Bishop Goodwin that reminded him of Dumbledore. Part of it was the white beard, but more of it was the twinkle in his eye. The twinkle was there as he looked at the young man he'd known since he'd christened him, eighteen years ago.

"Well, my boy, we have some good news."

"I'm in?" Sirius asked, his heart leaping.

Bishop Goodwin smiled gently. "It's not a simple yes or no, but the outcome is positive. The selectors and the Rector think that you are an excellent candidate." Sirius began to smile, but the bishop overrode him before he could say anything. "However, they do not think you are ready to enter the seminary at this time."

"What?" Sirius demanded. "You know I am! What's their objection?"

Bishop Goodwin sat back. "It has to do with your family. Not that they're who they are," he said, smiling and holding up a hand to forestall Sirius's objections. "If they only took people with perfect families, there would be no priests at all. What they are concerned about- and I agree with this assessment- is the anger you still hold towards them."

Sirius sat back, scowling.

"It's understandable that you are angry, Sirius. It's human. What your parents believe… well, the only reason I don't deny them access to the church is because you cannot show people to the light if you do not give them the opportunity to be led. I know why you left, and you had every right. But until your anger is tempered, you will not be able to attain the sort of relationship with God that a priest must have."

"So that's it then?"

"Hardly!" Bishop Goodwin pulled out a thick packet. "The selectors and the Rector recommend that you enter as an external student. You can begin some of the academic aspects of your training, but will still live on your own. It will give you time to work through these things and come to peace with leaving your family."

"I am at peace with it," Sirius muttered.

The bishop's face was kind. "Sirius, it's been less than two years. You're not." He pushed the packet forward. "Will you consider taking the classes?"

Sirius shrugged. "There's nothing to consider. You know this is what I want. They may not have taken me this year, but next year, I'll be ready and they'll take me. You'll see."

***

"Well?"

Lily was waiting impatiently in the Leaky Cauldron when Sirius entered. She got to her feet immediately, hope for him written on her face. Sirius suddenly devoutly, intently hoped that James would manage to hang on to her, because in the past year Lily had become the sister he'd never had, and Sirius really didn't want to lose that.

"It's complicated," he said, tossing the packet down in front of her. "Somewhere between a yes and a no." He sat down and explained it to her.

"Are you going to tell James?" she asked when his ranting was through. "Because it's getting very hard to keep this a secret from him."

Sirius picked up a glass and looked at the liquid inside. "I know I should," he said slowly.

"It's going to get very awkward once you actually are a live-in student," Lily pushed. "Besides, this isn't something to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed," Sirius said. "I'm just… look, Lily. I can take McGonagall not believing it, or the entire faculty of Hogwarts laughing their arses off, which I'm positive they did. I can take weird looks and insults and rude comments and all the rest of it. But James, Remus, and Peter are not religious. They aren't going to understand."

"You don't have to be religious to understand how someone could have faith in God," Lily said. "And you don't have to share that faith to believe that Sirius Black might actually want to spend his life doing some good for other people."

"As long as it's not Snivellus," he said automatically, and Lily kicked him under the table.

***

The summer passed in a blur, and with one thing and another, Sirius never told the others of his plans for the fall. But in the last days of August he made his way to St. John's to settle into class for the first time. To his delight, Gabriel was already seated.

"Congratulations," he said, extending his hand.

Gabriel grinned, but it was tinged with bitterness. "Not quite what it looks like, don't you know? They only took me on as an external student for now."

"Really?" That reassured Sirius greatly. "Me, too. Why with you?"

"I converted when I was fourteen," Gabriel admitted. "They want to give me a little extra time to be sure. I guess it's not so bad, because they're still considering me, but still."

"Well, glad I have some company."

"Why are you stuck in purgatory?" Gabriel asked.

Sirius studied him. "Long story," he said finally. "If you want, we could get a coffee after class, and I can give you the full version."

Gabriel smiled. It was a warm, open smile that would make anyone smile back. "I'd like that a lot," he said.

***

"Padfoot!" James sang out, whirling in the fireplace. "Are you home?"

"For crying out loud, you wanker! Can't you knock?" Sirius had just gotten out of the shower, and was grateful that years of habit had made him put a towel around his hips. "What's going on, Prongs?"

"Wormtail and Moony are on their way over, too. It's Friday night, and we working men need to relax with a few beers."

"And my flat has become a bar all of a sudden?"

"You object?"

"Not really." Sirius made for his bedroom. "Just let me get dressed."

When he emerged, Remus and Peter were there as well. "And so when I came out, she'd already stolen his hat and then went for his comb-over!" Peter was saying. James and Remus fell into bouts of laughter, and Peter glowed at the approval.

"There he is," James said as Sirius entered the room. "So, Sirius. How have you been spending your empty fall days?"

"You'd be surprised," Sirius said lightly. "It's hard work, not working."

"I see you still find plenty of time to read," James said, flopping down and picking up a spare book. Too late, Sirius realized it was one of his textbooks, with painstaking notes in the margins. James flipped it open and then froze, absorbing it.

"Sirius?"

"What is it, Prongs?" Peter asked, craning his neck over James's shoulder to get a better look. "Oh, good God!"

"Porn?" Remus asked, rather hopefully, and came around to look. His face went stony.

And then James began to laugh.

Sirius felt his ears flame, and he snatched the book out of James's hands. "Give me that! It's NOT funny. That's exactly why I didn't tell you wankers!"

"You're not… oh my God. You are not!" Peter was gaping at him. "My world is turning upside down."

Remus didn't say a word.

"Fuck this," Sirius growled.

"Do they approve of such language at priest school, Padfoot?" Peter said.

"It's called seminary," Sirius corrected haughtily. "And I don't care. Fuck this and fuck you."

"Padfoot. Wait." James was trying to recover. "Padfoot. Sirius!" He stood up and crossed the room, laying a hand on Sirius's arm. "I'm not laughing at you. Not like you think."

Sirius treated him to a level look of doom. "Sure looks that way."

"No. It's not that. It's… Sirius, becoming a priest. It's good. Not just good for you, but really, truly good. It's a commitment most people don't have the strength or the faith to make. It's going to take the best within you, and it's probably the most stable thing you've done the entire time I've known you. And this is what you've been hiding?" James shook his head. "I knew there was something, but I thought it was bad. I never dreamed it would be this."

"So you're not mad?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"Why would I be mad?" James responded incredulously. "I'm in shock, but I'm not mad."

In his relief, Sirius barely noticed that Remus left the room.

***

It had been three weeks since Remus had talked to him. Sirius only noticed it after two, because he did see Remus at James's and at Peter's. But when the other two came over and Remus didn't appear, Sirius realized something was wrong. And when there was no forthcoming apology or explanation, it was time to sort things out.

He tried visiting the Lupins', but Remus's father told him that Remus had found a place of his own. That stung, because Remus should have at least told him he was looking. His father seemed equally surprised that Sirius didn't know, and gave him the address.

When he Apparated to the flat, Sirius admitted that maybe there was a reason Remus hadn't said anything. It was a poky little flat in a basement, with the paint peeling on the door and the stench of stale urine lingering in the alley. He tromped down the stairs and pounded on the door.

"Oi! Moony! Open up!"

He heard footsteps, and then Remus irritably snatched the door open. "How did you find me?"

"What the hell?" Sirius demanded, hitting the door with his shoulder before Remus could slam it in his face. "Since when do you make a big change like this and not tell me?"

"It just happened, Sirius. The flat came up and I had to move quickly, or someone else would have rented it."

Sirius looked around at the water stains on the walls, the frayed rug and curtains, the outdated fixtures, and the mold on the ceiling and snorted. However, there were a lot of unpacked boxes and trunks, so Remus must have been telling the truth about it being recent.

"Nice place," he said lamely.

"No, it's not," Remus snapped. He moved over and tossed a few robes off the seats of a broken down sofa. "But it will do for now, and I can afford the rent."

"Come on. You've got to be making a lot more than this at Gringotts."

"I was fired," Remus said shortly.

"What? Why? You were doing great there! They were lucky to have you… oh. Oh. Those rotten bastards! I'll go and sort them out, Moony. You'll see."

Remus waved his hand. "Don't worry about it," he said tiredly. "It's only going to happen again."

"But they can't-"

"They can. There are no laws protecting the employment of werewolves." Remus moved over to where the kitchen fixtures were, and pulled a teapot from the cabinet. "I only have the dried stuff," he said ungraciously.

"That's fine." Sirius was still reeling from Remus's revelation. "When did this happen?"

"About two weeks ago."

"Do James and Peter know?"

"Yes."

Sirius boggled. "Then why didn't you tell me?"

Remus shrugged.

"Remus." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him. Remus ignored it and continued fidgeting with the tea, even though a tap of his wand was all it would take to get the water sufficiently heated. "Remus. What is going on with us? You've been acting this way since…" he thought, and the realization dawned. "Since the night I told you guys I was taking classes at St. John's."

"It's nothing, Sirius." But obviously, it was.

"I'm not going to try to convert you, you know," Sirius said cautiously. "I never have."

"No. I know that." Remus picked up the pot and sloshed water into two cups, and thrust one at Sirius.

"I'm serious. Come on, Moony. You must know that. I've been Catholic the whole time you've known me- this is not a new thing. I know you and God don't get along-"

Remus snorted.

"-but give me the credit that I'm still the same person I've been."

Remus shook his head. "Before, you never talked about it."

Sirius felt his hackles rise. "Look. There's a huge difference between talking about faith and trying to get you to save your soul and all that. And I haven't exactly been talking about it now."

"No. But now that James has given you his blessing, you will," Remus predicted.

"So what if I do? It's a part of my life, Remus. I'd think you could understand that."

"I did, when it was a part of your life. But now I'm trading in my best friend for a judgmental, sanctimonious bigot who thinks that all people must believe in his One True Way to be saved and go to Heaven, and God forbid anyone fall out of the perfectly defined norm!"

It took everything Sirius had not to storm out of the flat. But some voice of reason, some voice of conscience, some voice was telling him that this was Remus's fear, not Remus's perception. He took a deep breath.

"Remus," he said. "I've grown up in the Wizarding world. I am a pureblood. My parents have done their best to indoctrinate me into their beliefs. And yet, when I found out you were a half-blood, I stayed friends with you. When I found out you're an atheist, I stayed friends with you. And when I found out you're a werewolf, which most of the rest of our world reviles, I still stayed friends with you. I am not going to judge you or leave you now just because I feel called to the priesthood." Remus was listening, Sirius could see it in the way his hands relaxed. "If you're not comfortable with this, that's fine. But talk to me. Don't shut me out."

Remus bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Padfoot. But I need some more time."

Go. GO. Sirius wanted to stay desperately, but he stood up anyway. "Well then. Floo me when you're ready to see each other again, yeah? But I'll be there on Friday."

Remus closed his eyes, the shadow of the full moon already etching his face. "Thank you," he whispered.

Sirius left.

***

"I don't understand it," he told James and Peter that night.

"Well, it is a shock," James admitted. "It's taken me a lot of getting used to myself. I just can't see you as one of those stuffy men preaching in front of the congregation and laying out the laws of morality."

"Are you going to get rid of your motorcycle?" Peter asked.

"What? No!" Sirius said. "Aside from the fact that priests are not just stuffy old men and all the other rubbish Prongs said, St. John's is in Muggle England. I need some sort of transportation to get to my classes."

"Speaking of that," James said. "I don't suppose they know you're a wizard."

"You suppose right." Sirius sat back and put his feet up on Peter's coffee table with a sigh. "The Ministry has a whole list of procedures for doing something like this. In this case, it's got to be done extremely carefully, because if they suspect-"

"They'll kill you?" Peter guessed.

James snorted. "Not this day and age, idiot. Although they used to. But Sirius could be… what's the word? Excommunicated?"

"Yeah. Plus, it's a huge mess all around. So, the less magic I can use anywhere near St. John's, the better. My motorbike is the best way to get there these days without arousing any suspicion."

"Because flying motorcycles are so common in the Muggle world."

"It does run on the ground, dingbat. But anyway, I still don't get why Remus is so upset."

"He's got a boyfriend," Peter said.

"WHAT?" James and Sirius both sat upright.

"It's nothing serious, from what I gather. I think they're just sleeping together." Peter pretended to examine his nails, but he glanced at Sirius and James from lowered eyes to gauge their reaction. "It's been going on for three weeks, as far as I know."

"Moony's gay?" James said, mouth gaping open.

"Technically bisexual, I think."

"Well." James managed to close his mouth. "Well. Well, there's your answer, Padfoot."

"Yeah," Sirius said, his mind frozen in shock. "I guess so."

***

Remus was gay.

The thought made Sirius feel queer in the pit of his stomach. He tried to get comfortable in his bed, but every time he closed his eyes, the image of Remus and some anonymous man kept appearing in his head.

And okay, according to Peter, Remus was bisexual. But he was actually acting on homosexual impulses, so it was different. Really.

Sirius gave up on trying to sleep and flopped over onto his back, folding his hands beneath his head and staring up at the ceiling that he'd enchanted to look like the night sky.

For once in his life, Sirius didn't know what to make of any of this.

***

This time he had sent an owl before he came over, and this time, Remus was at least grudgingly polite. Not interested in small talk, Sirius dove right into the heart of the matter.

"Peter told us about your boyfriend."

Remus went very still. "How did Peter know?" he finally managed.

"Erm, I assumed that you had told him." Remus shook his head, and Sirius sighed. "Look, let's not worry about that right now. Is this why you're acting so defensive about me being a priest? Because you're afraid I'll judge you for being homosexual?"

"Bisexual," Remus insisted stubbornly, thrusting his chin out.

"Well?"

Remus shrugged and looked down at his shoes, which was a resounding yes. Sirius sighed.

"Moony, you should know me better than that."

Remus picked up a bottle, peeling the label and looking miserable. "I know."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Look. I know you've stuck by me before. But I've never done anything expressly condemned by your… your religion," he said, his face twisting into a grimace. "Even being a werewolf. I've never killed anyone. But the Catholic views on homosexual relationships are pretty well-known."

"So are the Catholic views on premarital sex, and I'm still friends with James."

"But this is different," Remus protested. "James and Lily will eventually get married, we all know that. But me… it's not like that. And you can't tell me you approve."

Sirius opened his mouth to agree, and then closed it. "I don't know what I think of it," he said honestly.

"Well, it won't be that way for long. They'll tell you what to think of it."

"Oh, come off it, Remus! If I was anyone else- anyone else in the world!- maybe you could get away with saying that. But I defied my family because I didn't think what they thought, and let myself get completely disowned for it! And I defy the entire Wizarding world and am friends with you, even though I know exactly what you are, and like you've said so many times, most of the world wouldn't touch you with a forty foot pole. And you're trying to tell me that just because I want to study to be a priest that they're going to have a shot at brainwashing me into believing I should hate someone for something they can't control?"

Remus blinked. "So you believe it isn't a choice?"

"Hell, no! Why would anyone choose that sort of life? Why would anyone choose that sort of hate? Especially you, when everyone hates you already, and you thought you'd alienate your closest friends to the point where you didn't fucking tell us?"

Remus smiled grimly. "I can't believe you're going to use that mouth to preach about purity."

Sirius swatted him. "Fuck off." They both smiled, and then Sirius extended a hand. "So are we over this?"

Remus took it. "Yeah. We're over it."

***

"I have to confess," Gabriel said as they packed their stuff up, "I've never been able to make it through Numbers before this."

"I'm still not able to," Sirius groaned. "I haven't been this bored since I took History of Magic."

Gabriel paused. "History of Magic?"

Oops. Sirius thought quickly. "Class on the witch hunts and Inquisition and… stuff."

"Sounds interesting."

"Not with Professor Binns." Sirius grinned, confidence restored. "Honestly? You know how you have professors that you could die a bloody death in their classroom and they wouldn't even notice, they'd just keep droning on? Well, Binns was worse. He could die and he wouldn't notice- he'd just keep droning on." After all, that was pretty much what he'd done.

Gabriel shuddered. "Say no more. Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

"I have some friends coming over, but you'd be more than welcome to join us."

"The infamous Peter, Remus, and James?"

"The very ones. If you wanted, we could go now and get this assignment started, and then they'd be there in time for dinner."

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"All right. Give me just a moment, yeah?"

Sirius made his way to the men's room, but once he was safely inside a stall he pulled out his wand. The Patronus was easy to conjure. "Tell James a Muggle's coming tonight," he whispered to the silver dove (which made so much more sense these days). The dove soared out the window, and Sirius smiled.

"All right," he said when he returned. "Hope you don't mind motorbikes."

Gabriel's eyes lit up. "Not at all." They walked out to the bike, and Gabriel whistled through his teeth. "Nice bike. You are determined to challenge the stereotypes, aren't you?"

"Every bit of it. Come on. Let's go."

As they took off, Gabriel's arms wrapped securely around his waist, Sirius suddenly wished he could show him what this bike could really do. It was a strong, sudden temptation that he very nearly gave in to, especially as the crisp October air rushed by them, smelling strongly of leaves and fall.

"Did you just jump something?" Gabriel asked.

Sirius pretended not to hear, and reminded himself that Gabriel was a Muggle. Not even a Muggle-born, but a flat-out Muggle.

Fortunately, James was in charge of picking up take-out and Peter was getting the beer, so he didn't have to take Gabriel into his kitchen, which was full of evidence of magic. As long as everyone got the message, they could stay in the safe living room, where there wasn't anything to betray his real life. Sirius showed Gabriel into the flat, quickly stuffing his cloak under his leather jacket and kicking a robe under a chair.

"Wow. You write with quills?" Gabriel asked.

Oops. Sirius affected a nonchalant stance. "Yeah. They have a certain elegance, don't you think?"

"You ride a motorbike, and you write with quills."

Sirius shrugged. "Like you said, I like to defy stereotypes. So. Shall we get down to it?"

They sat down at the table and pulled out their textbooks, but after a few moments they began talking again. "Are you joining any of the societies?" Gabriel asked.

Sirius chewed on the quill. (Hey, if Gabriel had already noticed, there was no reason to use a pen.) "I don't know," he said slowly. The truth was he hadn't planned on it. He'd been carefully maintaining as much of a distance as he could from most of his fellow students, because if he wasn't careful, it was too easy to slip and say something about the magical world. "I've been talking to Reverend Corley about my pastoral placement, and I think that will eat up time. What about you?"

"I don't know. I was thinking about it. What are you doing for your placement?"

"Hospital work, for now." Fortunately, with the help of a few Charms, Sirius was able to convince Reverend Corley that St. Mungo's was a very reasonable place to work. It wasn't something he really liked doing, using magic on Muggles like that, but it was the exact procedure the Ministry had prescribed, so he couldn't find too many faults in it.

Gabriel was about to say something when a hard knock sounded at the door. "Oi! Padfoot! Open up!"

"Padfoot?"

Sirius rolled his eyes affectionately. "Don't even ask." He answered the door. "Hey, James. Come on in. Did you get the message to the others?"

"Of course," James said, affronted that Sirius would even ask. He shoved several white paper boxes into Sirius's hands as he juggled another paper sack. "Who's here?"

Sirius led him into the room, and Gabriel stood up. "Gabriel, James. James, Gabriel."

No other introduction was needed. James smiled widely and thunked the sack onto the table, just missing Sirius's homework and extended a hand. "Pleased to meet you," he said politely, proving that James Potter could have a large amount of charm when he cared to make the effort. "We've heard a lot about you."

"Same here," Gabriel said. "Although Sirius has never told me, are you in Uni as well?"

Sirius and James exchanged glances. "Erm, no. I work," James said, choosing his words carefully. "I make sporting equipment."

"Really? What sport?"

Suddenly, Sirius realized this was going to be a very bad idea.

***

On to Part 2