FIC: A Lot to Live Up To (Part 13)

[lls_mutant]

Title: A Lot to Live Up To, Part 13
Author: lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho.
Summary: Getting what you wish for is a dangerous prospect- sometimes it brings what you want, and sometimes, it's the exact opposite.
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through The Son Also Rises
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta trovia!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Pain and Heaven | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12



"What do you see, Narcho?" Dee asked, looking down at the illuminated table. The deck was hers, and she'd finally lost that feeling of being on stage as she stood in the Admiral's place.

"A whole lot of nothing. Looks like it's going to be an easy CAP today," Noel said over the comm unit. "We have sunny skies, smooth flying, and no turbulence."

"Well, keep your eyes open, Pookie." Dee looked up and smirked at Felix, who glared at her from tactical.

"Anything you say, Snookums," Noel said gleefully.

Louis sighed, and Dee could hear it clearly in her ear. "You two think you're funny," he said dryly, "but you're really not."

"Yes, we are," Noel said, and Dee could hear his grin. "We- oh, frak, Gaeta, are you picking this up?"

Felix had, and swirled to alert the brass. "DRADIS contact! I've got two raiders bearing four eight seven."

Dee glanced up at the screen. "Looks like a patrol," she said. Adama and Tigh weren't on deck, and the protocol was simple. "Engage and destroy."

It was almost like watching a well-oiled machine. The routine was so familiar, and by the time Adama and Tigh made it to the CIC, the two Raiders had been shot down.

"Is Narcho rating the Top Gun stein yet?" Dee heard Tigh ask Adama.

"He's got to be getting close," Adama said. He strode over to where Dee was standing at the table, and Dee fought back her smile. "Sitrep, Lieutenant."

"Two raider scouts, sir. Destroyed. We didn't pick up any transmissions, but you never know."

"Good work, Lieutenant." Adama raised his voice to address the whole CIC. "Good work, people. Mr. Hoshi, transmit the jump coordinates to the rest of the Fleet. Mr. Gaeta, spool up the FTL drives. I don't want to be here when those raiders resurrect."

"Yes, sir." Felix winked at Dee and turned back to his station.

Dee stood in the center of the CIC and stifled her smile. This felt good. This felt like home.

***

She managed to be down by the hangar deck when Noel came off CAP. He swung out of his Viper, crouched on the wing and knelt down to talk to Chief Tyrol. He was laughing, but there was a hard edge to it that Dee didn't often see. This was Narcho, hot-shot Pegasus Viper jock, all arrogance and cocky smiles.

"So there he was, right in front of me. Got my guns on him and BANG!"

"How do you know it was a he?" Tyrol asked, looking up from his checklist.

"Because the males don't fly so aggressively. I don't know- I just said he, and that's fine because let's not take this into yet another conversation about Raider sex, okay? I'm trying to regale you with my heroic tale."

"Yeah, well, it's not working, buddy. I'm still married."

"You don't know what you're missing. Right, Dee?" Noel called out as he saw her on the stairs. He jumped down off the wing of his Viper, strode over and picked her up, twirling her around. Dee couldn't help it; she laughed.

"Put me down," she ordered him, still laughing. "I know nothing of the sort."

"And you still have to go through your check," Tyrol said, tapping his clipboard against his hand. But he was smiling. "Come on. You can gloat later- after I'm done with you."

Noel waggled his eyebrows. "Is that a promise?"

Tyrol rolled his eyes and whacked him on the ass with the clipboard. "Get moving." Noel sighed heavily and headed back to his Raptor. "He's frakking nuts," Tyrol told Dee.

"You ought to see him after he gets to have a little power," Dee said.

"Yeah? Great, because if he keeps flying like this, Adama's going to have no choice but to promote him." Tyrol headed towards the Viper. "Gods help us all."

Dee smiled. She leaned back against the railing, watching them work through the list, a little more rapidly now that Noel had managed to discharge some of his post-fight energy. The other Vipers had docked as well. Dee could hear Kara shouting at one of the nuggets, her insults bouncing off the cavernous walls of the hangar deck. Her voice still grated on Dee's nerves, but not nearly as badly as it had a month or two ago.

Noel finally finished up with his Viper and strode back over to where Dee was waiting. "You did good, girl," he said, draping a companionable arm around her shoulders. "Were the brass in the CIC?"

"Nope. I had the deck."

"Thought so. You know, it's funny. I don't know why promotion still matters, but it does. It's not like there's a pay increase, or that many people to be impressed by the status."

"Acknowledgement?" Dee speculated. "Power?"

"Maybe," Noel said as they began to wander through the organized chaos of Vipers, Raptors, and knuckledraggers. "Or maybe just something left to hold on to- something that was normal from before. Hell, I don't know. I suppose it really doesn't matter as long as I get to take toasters out. But still…" he shrugged. "You know, though, you're going to get promoted before Felix or Louis does."

"What makes you say that?" Dee asked.

"I keep track of how often you guys have the bridge. You get it more than either of them. You, then Louis, then Felix."

"No," Dee denied. "That can't be right. I've been hearing Adama say, 'Mr. Gaeta, you have the bridge' since I was first assigned to Galactica."

"And he still does," Noel agreed. "He just is giving it to you a little more often these days. Come on, Dee, it makes sense."

"I'm his daughter-in-law?" Dee asked sourly.

"Well, that too, but also you were XO on the Pegasus. I'm telling you, Dee, one day we're going to run the world."

Dee shook her head, laughing. "I can't imagine Galactica without the Admiral in charge."

"Well, technically, you'll be Admiral." Noel grinned. "You can be Admiral, Louis can be your XO, you'll promote Felix to major and he'll stay on as Senior Officer of the Watch-"

"Why not the other way around?"

"Because Felix is the better navigator, and Louis is better at busting people's asses. And I'll be your CAG."

"And we'll all blow up toasters and live happily ever after?" Dee asked.

"Exactly."

"And Lee? I notice he's not in this equation."

"Oh. Right. Well, rumor has it Adama's frakking Roslin, so-"

"Not you, too!" Dee pushed Noel. "Would you guys stop trying to put images of my father-in-law having sex in my head? Please? And with President Roslin of all people?"

"I wonder if he calls her Madame President in bed," Noel mused. "'Oh yeah, Madame President, you like it like that, don't you?'" Noel pitched his voice lower in a very bad imitation of the Admiral. "'Ride my articles, and I'll give you a little DRADIS contact. Airlock me, baby.'"

Dee shoved Noel harder. "That's enough," she said, laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "Oh my Gods, do you really think people talk like that in bed?"

"Want to hear my guess on what Felix and Louis sound like?"

"NO."

"You just don't appreciate good performance art," Noel sniffed. He returned to her side and put his arm back around her shoulders. They passed Starbuck, still chewing out her nugget. Noel made a face. "I'd love to get in there and contradict her," he said, his expression turning a bit harder, "but she's right. It was a frakking stupid mistake that Pliers made. When we get to Earth…" he trailed off.

"What?" Dee asked.

"Nothing," Noel said. "I just realized, that's the first time I've really said that."

"Really?" But it made sense. The Pegasus hadn't had nearly so optimistic an imperative after the attacks.

"It's a good day," Noel said as he guided them towards the steps. And the funny thing was, Dee realized that she was surprised to hear him say that, and surprised to see him smile.

***

"Guess what Skulls and Racetrack found?" Felix asked, slipping into a seat next to Louis in the mess hall.

Louis eyed him suspiciously. "Tell me we're not settling on this one."

"And please, please tell me there's no algae," Dee added.

"Neither," Felix said. "The atmospheric pressure is too high for it to be remotely habitable. Frakking hot, too. Carbon dioxide atmosphere, not a drop of water, and a shitload of red rocks."

"Sounds like a fantastic place for a romantic little getaway," Louis deadpanned.

"Or a Fleetwide refueling. There's enough electromagnetic radiation to make anything electronic go a little haywire." Felix leaned on his forearms on the table.

"Sounds like an exciting time for you all," Noel said. "And a little rest for us." He looked smug.

Louis looked at him. "You look like you could use it," he said bluntly.

"No, I'm fine," Noel said. "Just flying a little too hard. Speaking of which," he glanced at his watch, "I'm supposed to meet Hot Dog in a few minutes for some weight training. See you all later." He gave them all a salute and walked out.

Felix watched him go, eyebrows furrowed together. "Is it just me, or has Noel been acting strange the past few days?"

"Just you," Dee said. "He's actually been in a good mood."

"That's actually kind of my point," Felix said. "He's been acting like he's in a good mood, but Louis is right- he looks exhausted."

"I think you're both reading too much into it," Dee said.

"Hey, only Felix. I just commented he looked exhausted. There are other reasons for looking exhausted besides Cylons, and some of them fit nicely into being happy, too." Louis leered at Felix. "Maybe he's finally found someone."

"Who?" Dee asked, because Noel hadn't even mentioned getting laid.

Louis shrugged. "Got me. But he seems happy."

Dee glanced back over her shoulder where Noel had disappeared, and remembered him celebrating his kill earlier that week. She looked at Felix and Louis, who weren't quite nuzzling each other, but were sitting shoulder to shoulder, Louis's hand on Felix's knee and Felix's arm draped over the back of Louis's chair. She thought of Lee, and how well things seemed to be going.

She had a bad feeling about all of this.

***

"Sixty seconds to hard deck," Felix said urgently. "Dee, vector red section to Apollo's last known, set alert Vipers to ready one."

Dee nodded acknowledgment. "Hotdog, Hex, divert to 715..." Her heart was in her throat. They were too close to the planet. If they got sucked down, Lee would be… no. She couldn't think about that. Not now. She focused on the comm console, willing her mind and soul back to her job. Duty first.

She could hear Lee's voice in her hear, shouting to Kara. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt. Maybe because she knew that if it was Hot Dog or Noel or even one of the nuggets headed towards that vortex, Lee would be doing the exact same thing. The same exact damn thing. Because that's who Lee was.

Then Kara's line went dead into static, and Lee was screaming. The world slowed down for a minute, as Adama yelled at Lee to abort. Dee wanted to join in, begging Lee with her entire being to get back here to Galactica, to make it home safe.

She glanced across the CIC at Felix. Felix had his back to her and his head bowed, and the thought flashed through Dee's mind that it might be for the best. She looked away from him.

"Lee, do you have her in sight?" Adama asked. "Can you see her?"

Lee's voice was ragged with pain. "Negative, she ... went in. She went in."

"We're sending in the search and rescue birds right now," Adama insisted. "We'll find her."

"No, Dad, it's no use. Her ship's in pieces." Lee's voice broke. "Her ship's in pieces. No chute. We lost her."

The CIC was silent. It always was after they lost a pilot, but Dee felt this silence deep into her bones.

No one was looking at her, but she looked down at the console again, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. She wasn't sure what she felt, and the last thing she needed was anyone ascribing inappropriate emotions to her. And she didn't feel that- not at all. There was no smugness, no mean gladness, no relief that Kara Thrace would ever threaten her marriage or even look at Lee again.

At least, not that Dee would ever admit to.

***

She met Felix after their shift, in the hall outside the CIC.

"Louis is on communications," Dee said quietly.

"And Noel's flying CAP."

"Good," Dee said, nodding. "It's just you and me. Come on. We're getting drunk together."

They found a bottle of whiskey and retreated to the officer's quarters. Felix shucked his boots off and tossed them outside the hatch, and Dee sat down on the rack that she was pretty sure belonged to Kelly. Felix found two glasses, sniffed them to make sure they were clean, and poured them each a huge tumbler. He handed Dee one, and without a word they both knocked them back. The liquor burned Dee's throat with a fiery heat and made her eyes water. Felix poured them both another glass immediately.

"To Starbuck," he said, holding up his own glass as he sat down on Louis's rack. "She's out of our lives for good."

Dee felt horrendously guilty, but only because she knew that most of the world would condemn her if they knew. But she was sitting across from Felix, who must be feeling the same way, and he was just sitting there accepting that she felt the way she did. She clinked her glass against his. "She's out of our lives for good," she agreed.

They drank.

They looked at each other, and Felix smiled. There was light in his eyes, like a demon had been exorcised and a little of his burden had been washed away.

"It's not that she was all bad," Dee hazarded.

"No," Felix agreed. "But Dee, we already have to pretend for everyone else. Literally everyone else. You can't exactly let Lee know that you're a little glad his former mistress is dead, and don't think for a minute I'm going to be letting Louis see this. For a few minutes, let's just smile. Because maybe she didn't do it on purpose, but she made both our lives miserable for a while."

Dee relaxed. "You're right," she agreed, and leaned back on her hands, putting her feet up on Kelly's bed. The alcohol was hitting her already, making her lightheaded and dizzy. She closed her eyes, floating on it. "I won't miss her at all."

***

Dee was careful not to drink too much with Felix; she had no idea what state Lee would be in when he came home. And she wasn't sure what to say. I'm sorry seemed a little dismissive; after all, Lee had lost a very good friend. And yet, pouring on the sympathy just seemed wrong.

She didn't have to worry. Lee was home when she came in, but Helo, Hot Dog, and Sharon were sitting with him. She'd never been so glad to see any of them in her life.

"Dee," Lee looked up, his eyes red and his hair still tousled from his flight helmet. "You heard, right?"

"I was in the CIC," Dee confirmed. She came over and gently kissed Lee's forehead. "I'm sorry." With the others here, it was easy to say it sincerely, if she just thought of Kara as Lee's friend. Lee squeezed her hand.

"So anyway," Helo continued, scooting his chair over so Dee could join them at the table, "we were supposed to be chasing this Librean gang of what basically amounted to pirates, right? And they were leading us on this chase, and they decided to go into an asteroid field. Right out of a bad movie. And Kara goes after them, and she…" Helo's voice broke even as he laughed. "Well, she lost them in there, because they only dipped in, realized this was insane, and got out, ready to give themselves up. And Kara's flying through the asteroid field, shouting about the frakkers and that she had no idea that they were this good. We're sitting there in the Raptor, guns on the guys, just waiting, and she's flying through an asteroid field."

They all laughed, and Dee faked it, too. But with the others there she could fade into the background, be the supportive wife without having to do more than bite her tongue and change her expression.

She didn't reach for Lee's hand, and he didn't reach for hers.

***

It was late when Helo, Athena and Hot Dog left. Dee was ready to slip into bed already.

"Will there be a funeral?" she asked Lee.

"Tomorrow," Lee said. He scrubbed at his face with his hands.

"Are you…" Dee began, but couldn't finish because of course he wasn't okay. She swallowed hard. "I know she was a good friend to you, Lee. I'm sorry."

Lee nodded. "Let's just go to sleep," he suggested.

"All right."

They climbed into bed together, and for the first time since the whole mess with Kara had ended, Dee felt like there was a distance between them. She laid on her side and pretended to sleep.

Next to her, Lee did the same.

***

"You okay, Dee?" Felix asked her two days later.

"Huh? Sure, I'm fine." Dee flashed a smile at him. She folded the paper that someone had left on the table in the rec room. "Did you see this?"

Felix glanced at the paper and looked away quickly. "Yes." Baltar's face was blazoned on the front page. Starbuck's was on page three. "I considered burning a copy. Something like an effigy."

"You're vicious today."

Felix shrugged.

"I'm just ready for life to go on, you know?" Dee said. "Like it does when any other pilot dies."

"How's Lee?"

"Coping. We don't talk about it."

Felix cocked his head to the side. "And that's a bad thing?"

"A little," Dee admitted. "I mean… Lee's gone through this huge loss, and I want to comfort him, but I am most definitely the wrong person to be doing it."

Felix shook his head. "Noel would point out there's some great irony at work here."

"Is that what you're doing?" Dee asked sharply.

"No. I'm just saying that's what Noel would do. I dream about burning newspapers, but refrain because it breaks the fire code and the last thing this ship needs is an fire." Felix snorted bitterly. "I'm not nearly as direct as Noel."

"Unless you have a pen," Dee heard herself blurt.

Felix stared at her in shock. Neither of them had mentioned the incident to the other since it had happened, and Dee did her best to forget it completely. But Felix just smiled, like it was some sort of sick private joke. "Yeah," he agreed. "Unless I have a pen."

Dee never would have thought Kara and Baltar would fit so neatly into the same conversation, but they really did.

***

"We're celebrating?" Louis asked, as the four of them sat crammed at a table in Joe's. "What are we celebrating?"

Noel glanced around, then grinned and pointed to a new patch on his uniform. "Squadron leader," he said, his smile widening even further. "Finally."

"About frakking time," Felix agreed, raising his glass to clink with Noel's.

Dee lifted her glass as well. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." Noel glanced around again. "I've kind of been keeping it on the down low, just because of the circumstance, but yeah."

Louis was studying the collar of Noel's uniform. "You weren't promoted to captain."

"What? Oh, yeah." Noel's face darkened a little. "Adama said I'm not quite ready for it," he said, rolling his eyes. "Frankly, I don't get it, because that's never really stopped anyone else on this ship from getting promoted."

"When did you make full lieutenant?" Felix asked.

"About six months before the attacks," Noel said. Louis looked down at his drink, and it occurred to Dee that Noel was the only full lieutenant sitting at the table. Her own rank didn't bother her, given that she'd been the lucky recipient of a big fat promotion a little over a year ago, but the fact that both Louis and Felix were still junior lieutenants was surprising, to say the least. "Cain promoted me herself." There was no small amount of pride in Noel's voice, and Louis smiled and shook his head. "You can laugh all you want, but after months of sewage duty and kitchen stints after we ended, it's a badge of honor," Noel told him.

"It is," Louis agreed, but he was still laughing.

Felix was watching the other patrons at the bar. The music was soft tonight, just a wireless that was tuned to a station playing songs with a more lilting melody. The conversation wasn't muted, but it lacked the raucous atmosphere that the bar sometimes had. But people were still playing the pyramid game and there were lines for the pool tables, and two tables away, the off-duty marines that were playing cards burst into the kind of laughter reserved for especially dirty jokes.

Louis noticed Felix's distraction. "You okay, ba-" he bit off the last syllable, glaring at Dee and Noel, who both grinned evilly. "You okay, Felix?"

Felix shot a disparaging look at Dee and Noel as well. "Fine, darling," he said, biting off the last word as he dared Dee and Noel with his eyes. Gleefully ignoring his look of murder, Noel looked at Dee and sighed dramatically.

"What about you, pookie-bea- OW! Frak, Gaeta, you don't kick your superior officer so hard near the nuts!"

"He didn't," Louis said smoothly. "I did."

Felix smirked at Louis in a thoroughly satisfied, you're-getting-laid-tonight sort of way, and Louis returned the expression. Even though the two men looked nothing alike, for a moment Dee was amused by their similarities. Felix turned back to face them, his face falling back into his normal, more serious expression. "I was just thinking about how this place is going to be after Baltar's trial."

Noel turned and looked at the crowd. "A few nights of drunken orgies and partying, and then back to this," he theorized. "It won't change the Fleet much at all when it happens."

"Unless Baltar's acquitted," Louis said.

"Don't say that!" Dee snapped.

"Why not?" Louis asked. "Robert was."

"Enough," Noel said. "Can we just make it through one evening without having to mention Baltar? I don't mean to sound like a whining little kid, but come on, guys. The trial's weeks away, and we've been over this."

"And your promotion was today," Dee agreed. She shot a final glare at Louis and then tossed her hair over her shoulder. "You're right," she said. Someone turned up the wireless, and the music was actually tolerable. Dee stood up and held out a hand to Noel. "Come on, Muffincakes. Let's go dance."

She narrowly avoided the playful kick that Felix sent her way.

***

"I can't frakking believe it."

Dee looked up as Lee entered their quarters. "What's wrong?"

"Guess what brilliant idea he's got now?"

Dee fought down the reminder of how Lee used to be in orbit around New Caprica and smiled. "Sewage? Laundry? Tigh's booze supplier?"

Lee didn't smile. "No. Did you hear about the explosion on the hangar deck?"

"No," Dee said, her eyes widening. "What happened?"

"Terrorist attack on Baltar's Raptor. Some frakker decided that Baltar doesn't need a trial."

"Well, it's not like it wastes taxpayer cubits or anything," Dee agreed wryly with Lee's implication.

"Anyway, I'm grounded. Off CAG, off flying… the whole nine yards. And I'm in charge of Gaius frakking Baltar's security detail."

"You're kidding," Dee said. Any reservations she had about Lee's attitude vanished immediately; this was nothing like those days above New Caprica. "Your father is investing that much in Baltar's safety?"

Lee sighed. "Actually, it's not Baltar's. It's his new lawyer."

"Wait, new lawyer?"

"Yeah." Lee sat down, combing a hand through his hair. "Hughes was killed in the explosion."

"Oh my Gods."

"I can't condemn a man just for taking Baltar's case," Lee sighed. "Gods know I want to see Baltar face justice as much as anyone, but to attack someone who's part of the democratic process… it's the only reason I agreed to it."

Dee cocked her head. "That, and the fact you're grounded." She didn't even ask why he was grounded. She didn't need to. Lee sat down heavily in chair and flipped a hand in acknowledgement and confirmation.

She was thinking about how to address that when Lee gave a half-chuckle. "It's funny," he said.

"What is?" Dee asked, not seeing anything amusing about the situation.

"The lawyer- Lampkin's his name. He knew my grandfather."

"Which one?"

"Adama. He said he was a student of his." Lee sat up and struggled out of his jacket. "I don't know whether I believe him or not. He seems a little young… but I'm too tired to do the math."

"What are the odds?" Dee marveled. "Less than fifty thousand left alive after the attack on the Colonies, and one of them knew your grandfather personally."

"Or so he says. My grandfather had quite a name," Lee said. He closed his eyes. "And quite a reputation."

"You look tired."

"A bit. I'm just going to sit here for a minute…" Lee trailed off.

Dee smiled affectionately as Lee drifted off to sleep. She stood up, gently taking Lee's jacket from under his arm. If she took it down to the laundry tonight, he'd have it by duty tomorrow. She quickly did a routine check of the pockets, and her fingers closed around a glossy piece of paper.

Of course Lee still had a picture of Kara Thrace in his jacket. Of course.

Dee closed her eyes for a long moment. It wasn't that he had the picture or that there wasn't one of her; she knew what the picture was intended for. It was the question that stood out in neon letters at the forefront of her mind: if she had been the one that died, would Lee still have her picture in his jacket? Or would she be pinned to the wall by now, safely ensconced in comfortable memory, the grieving process already progressing?

Dee shoved the picture back into Lee's jacket and dropped the jacket back on his chair. She was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

***

She didn't even think to ask until she saw the duty roster the next day. "Who's CAG now?" she asked Felix.

"Helo," he said shortly. A Raptor ECO was CAG? But then, that same Raptor ECO had served as Galactica's XO for over a year. Dee sighed. Felix looked up. "I hear Lee's tailing Lampkin."

"You heard that?"

"Given that I was questioned, yes." Dee blinked, and Felix sighed. "Come on, Dee. I already tried to kill Baltar. If Lee hadn't questioned me, I would consider him seriously incompetent."

A dark thought occurred to her. "Did you do it?"

"No," Felix scowled.

"But you wish you had."

Felix shook his head. "No. Look, I have no problem with someone doing their job. It's not the lawyer I want dead. It's Baltar."

He said it so simply that it sent chills down her spine.

***

"So, I hear your husband has been giving Felix a bit of a hard time," Louis said, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms as Dee poured herself a cup of coffee.

"He hasn't said a word about it to me," Dee said.

"Yeah, well." Louis made a face. "He does know that Felix worked the CIC the day it happened, right? And the Raptor had a shuttle run earlier on his shift? As far as Chief could tell, the bomb wasn't radio triggered. It had to be placed after the Raptor landed from its run, but before the lawyer got aboard."

"I assume he knows this," Dee said tiredly. "But I'll make sure. Back off, Louis. I need coffee."

Louis didn't obey. Instead, he followed her to her table. "I've got a theory," he told her.

Dee raised her eyebrows in acknowledgement. "Who?" she asked.

"Zarek."

"As appealing as blaming it on Zarek is, he hasn't been on the Galactica in the past ten days."

"Since when does Zarek like to do his own dirty work?" Louis asked. "And come on. He loves blowing things up."

Dee shook her head. "Have you mentioned this to Felix?" she asked.

"We're still together. So you can take that as a no. But Dee, the pieces fit. All joking aside, it's exactly the sort of thing Zarek would do- or pay someone to do. And he must hate Baltar. I don't like the man, but every report I've read from people that were in Baltar's administration admits that Zarek refused to collaborate and was imprisoned for the entirety of the occupation, before he was almost executed."

Dee nodded. "I'm sure he's thought of it, but I'll mention it to Lee."

***

When she returned to her quarters, the lawyer was there. He was a thin, wiry man with sunglasses, and for a moment Dee wondered if he was blind. But he stood when Dee walked in.

"This is my wife, Lieutenant Anastasia Dualla," Lee introduced her. "Although most people call her Dee. Romo Lampkin."

"Charmed, I'm sure," Lampkin said, in a voice that sounded far more amused than respectful. Dee nodded, and then retreated to the back of cabin. The two men went back to their conversation.

"I know you don't particularly care about the identity of the perpetrator, Mr. Lampkin," Lee said formally, "but I assure you he will be caught."

"It's a small matter," Lampkin said. He was leafing through one of the law books written by Joseph Adama.

"I've been questioning crew members, and-"

"It could be someone off ship," Dee suddenly suggested. Lee looked up, raising his eyebrows for her to continue. "Hoshi suggested Tom Zarek."

Lampkin laughed. "Wouldn't that be an easy, neat way for the Admiral and the President to solve all their problems?" he said. "Which is precisely why the Vice President didn't do it."

"You don't think he's behind it?" Dee asked Lee, ignoring Lampkin.

Lee shook his head. "I think Mr. Lampkin's right. Zarek's been staying away from any proceedings, as far as I can tell, and on the occasions he has been approached he's been extremely cooperative."

"The phrase keeping his nose clean springs to mind," Lampkin offered.

Dee noticed the files spread out on the desk, and notes taken in Lee's handwriting. She noticed that Lee had a book in front of him as well. And she noticed that he had the same look he'd had when they returned to New Caprica, resolute and alive. She turned away.

"Well, it was only a theory," she said lightly.

"Not surprising that Hoshi came up with it, though," Lee said.

"He pointed out that Zarek is rather fond of explosions," Dee said. She shrugged off her jacket and crossed the room to hang it up neatly. As she did, she glanced at the table again. They'd been working for a while. "It's not a bad thought."

"It also neatly shifts the suspicion off of Gaeta," Lee pointed out. "Not really the best idea, and rather alarming it's coming from a tactical officer."

Dee rolled her eyes. "You know Felix didn't do it."

Lee shrugged.

Dee sighed and kicked off her boots and then lay down with some paperwork. "I'll leave you two alone," she muttered sullenly. Lee turned back to the table, but Lampkin watched her for a long moment before he went back to his work.

Dee ignored them both.

***

When Lampkin's keypad exploded, Dee heard the news much quicker than she'd heard about the Raptor. But no one came to give her any news. She waited impatiently through the last hour of her shift, and then went home.

"Lee!" He was in their quarters, sitting at a table. Dee ran over to him, hugging him gratefully. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't there," Lee said flatly. He reached up automatically and touched Dee's arm.

"Is Lampkin alive?" Dee asked, backing away.

"Yes. Cheadle isn't."

It wasn't a name she recognized, but Dee gave the pronouncement the respect it deserved. Then, "What happens now?"

"A lot, as it happens. We caught the perpetrator."

"Who was it?"

"Aaron Kelly."

That one stunned Dee. "Captain Kelly?" she said. Kelly hadn't been on New Caprica, and Dee had never realized he'd harbored such hate for Baltar. Of course, Kelly was only someone she worked with, someone who moved in completely different social circles. Dee tried to recall seeing him out of the CIC.

"Yeah," Lee said. "Captain Kelly. Said he couldn't handle sending pilots to their deaths anymore."

"So he plants bombs in Raptors?" Dee asked sourly.

Lee shook his head helplessly.

"Well," Dee said, sitting down on the bed, "is he the only one?"

"He claimed responsibility for all of the explosions," Lee said. He flicked his gaze to Dee, and his eyebrows dipped down for a second. "And he acted under his own authority." Dee ignored that. "So, yeah. All's well that ends well. In theory."

"In theory?"

"Dad wanted me to go back to CAG. He said now that the major threat had been neutralized, they could assign someone else to security."

Dee's stomach turned over at the phrasing. "Wanted you to go back," she said.

Lee nodded. "I told him no," he said. "I'm staying on the case."

Dee blinked. "Lee," she said, when she couldn't resist it any more. "You're not a lawyer!"

"I can learn to be a lawyer," Lee said, lifting his chin. "But what Romo needs is a fighter. And that… that I've been born to."

Dee thought of how Lee stood when he addressed the pilots, how he looked in the war room. She remembered days on the Pegasus and the night before the Second Exodus, and the grim determination etched on Lee's face. She thought of him warring with the Cylons, warring with his father, and warring with himself, each and every time triumphing, even if it was only by a little.

"Yeah," she agreed. "And that's why I love you."

She never thought that she'd hate the very thing she loved most about him, but tonight she thought she did.

On to Part 14

Comments

[lorrainemarker.livejournal.com]

I love the Gaeta/Hoshi interaction in your story. I was never a fan of canon Gaeta/Hoshi, mostly because the whole pairing felt like an afterthought of the writers and producers to get the morpha on the raptor in Face of the Enemy. But you've really fleshed out the relationship and made Louis Hoshi real to me and a good match for Felix.

Lee and Dee's relationship is going steadily downhill in much the same way and for the same reasons as in canon. The scene with her trying to comfort him after Starbuck's death just hurt. Even more because we know she comes back, nuttier than ever.

Felix and Dee's private 'she's out of our lives for good' wake for Starbuck just killed me. That's exactly how they would even should feel in those circumstances, because Starbuck made both of them miserable. Also, though we know she comes back and buggers things up even worse for them.

I really do hope that Narcho's just getting laid, but I suspect there's more up with his sudden exhausted joy.

A wonderful story.

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

eee, Friday! \o/

y'know, Dee and Noel really shouldn't mess with the guys who know how to launch the nukes ;-)

I love the background companionship you've created...Felix and Hoshi being as cuddly as they get in public, Felix and Dee drinking "to" Starbuck, Dee and Noel on the hanger deck. They so deserve to have friends...

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I'm glad you like my Hoshi. I agree that it was definitely an afterthought, but I think it was more to break up the Raptor 718 scenes. (Thus the reason it was originally supposed to be Narcho, so you were going from Raptor to Viper, adding a little more visual change.) Aside from the giving-Felix-morpha aspect, I kind of like the little we see of canon Hoshi, but yeah. TOTALLY tacked on. (But I'm glad they did, because I have a friend who didn't watch FotE and he was basically "who the frak is THAT?" when Adama gave Hoshi the pins.) But I'm loving my Hoshi- my big bang is gonna hurt ;)

Also, though we know she comes back and buggers things up even worse for them.

I was hoping to get a little further in this chapter, to kind of emphasize the similarities between Baltar and Kara- or at least, their effects. Felix is so convinced that Baltar is going to be convicted at his trial right now... Baltar being let off is going to be like Starbuck coming back.

I really do hope that Narcho's just getting laid, but I suspect there's more up with his sudden exhausted joy.

::sigh:: He's not. ::pets Narcho:: He's basically building up his mindset. It's not spoiling much to say that Noel's still dealing with the Colonies being destroyed (because who isn't?), and when they were, he lost all his non-Pegasus friends. And because Noel didn't do New Caprica, outside of the pilots and these three, he doesn't HAVE a lot of friends. And his other best friend died on New Caprica (Stinger).

My Noel sort of goes through phases- he'll talk about it in Teacher's Pet. Right now he's actually fairly optimistic, and he's come out of a darker funk. Dee and Felix can't really see it because they didn't know Noel pre-attack. Louis recognizes that Noel's happy, but he's never really been close to Noel and understood when Noel was in one of these funks, so he doesn't recognize it for what it is.

::hugs Noel, who doesn't get a POV at all in this, unfortunately.::

Thank you!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

Yeah, you'd think they'd know. :) (And really, guys, baby is not that humiliating of an endearment.) At least Noel never actually did the imitation.

I'm glad you're enjoying this little group- I really am, too. It's gonna break my heart to tear them apart....

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

Dude, listening to the s4 soundtrack is breaking my heart. Oh, Dee....

[trovia.livejournal.com]

One thing I really enjoy about this story is how you make it look absolutely unavoidable that Dee and Lee split up. And since we already know in advance that that's gonna happen, it's cool to read about the clouds gathering on the horizon. I tried to do something very similar in a fic one time so I know how hard it is. You're great at pulling that off. It's so much fun to read! The same is also true for Felix and his interactions with Baltar. You can't even go "Oh no, don't! Abort!" because there really seems to be no other option for the characters in most scenes. It's all kinds of nifty. :)

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

The first two scenes had me giggling with all the adorable. The dynamic between Dee and her boys is absolutely precious. I want to wrap them up and keep them protected from canon. (And, of course, what you do to Noel.)

I really want to know what's up with Noel, by the way. Though hooray for making squadron leader! And his whole breakdown of how they are going to rule the world. Clearly, Noel should have written 4.5 ;)

The slow trainwreck that is Lee and Dee's marriage is so, so painful to watch. I watched the 2.5 DVDs the other day, and there was a very short time when they were so sweet together, but even then, it was always Kara Thrace in the forefront. I'd forgotten about the deleted scene of The Captain's Hand when Dee walks in on them hugging, and then Kara puts the boots out for them. It was strangely thoughtful, for Starbuck, but it was such an odd dynamic. And here, Kara's death driving a wedge between them even as much as she did in life... It hurts. Dee and Felix's little not-funeral for her was raw and ugly and true, because sometimes you're just glad someone's gone, no matter how horrible that seems.

And Lee taking up Baltar's case despite what Baltar did to Dee's best friend... it's not that I didn't think she had a right to be upset about that just in the context of what Baltar did in general, but bringing it back to the specifics of how thoroughly he screwed Felix adds a whole separate layer to why that upset her so much.

Excellent. More? :)

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

I haven't mentioned how much I enjoy your Narcho before, right? ;D His little plan for Admiral Dee and Company is great (and familiar-sounding... :) ), and his impersonation of Roslin and Adama--::cringes::. Narcho's odd phases, the fatigue and happiness being sort of rarities, really has me intrigued, as if I wasn't already eagerly waiting for "Teacher's Pet."

Dee and Narcho ribbing Louis for "baby" was great! It was a nice little bit of lightness to contrast with the downward spiral of Dee and Lee's marriage. It hurts all the more, knowing that Lee told Kara in "Maelstrom" that things were going better with Dee than they ever had before. To think that Kara's *absence* helps screw things up again--it makes the bitter little scene with Felix and Dee sort-of celebrating even more difficult.

I think I'm really enjoying that this fic keeps growing longer than what you expected. Not only does it mean more fic; it means delaying the inevitable part where you break me with the lives of Dee and her boys falling apart.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

I'm really loving Narcho, although he's giving me a bit of a hard time. I've finally cracked what's going through the boy's head, but until Teacher's Pet I don't have much of a way to get into it. With Dee, we get her pov and with Hoshi and Gaeta, we can often get a confiding aspect (like when Hoshi told Dee about Gaeta's nightmares), but with Noel... this isn't something he's talking about and none of them are meant to put the right pieces together until after Dee's death.

To think that Kara's *absence* helps screw things up again.

I know. I hadn't thought of it before this chapter, but as soon as I started writing it I was like, "Oh my God, they're right back where they were with the miscarriage." And in a writerly way, I was thrilled, because it made total sense. The miscarriage didn't lead to their near-demise earlier, but their lack of communication about it and the fact they searched for comfort elsewhere instead of being able to support each other did. And that's EXACTLY what they're letting happen again. And it's awful, because I totally get why. But I was so pleased to see that their issues I gave them earlier worked again perfectly here!

Although it still makes me sad.

it means delaying the inevitable part where you break me with the lives of Dee and her boys falling apart.

Sniff. This may be why I'm dragging my feet as well. I'm not sure which of the four of them I feel the worst for.

Thanks again!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

I want to keep them safe, too. I'm wondering if that's why it keeps stretching out so long.

I really want to know what's up with Noel, by the way.

I'm wondering just how much we'll find out for sure in ALTLUT. The frustrating thing about what's going on with Noel is a.) it's not leading to any events in the time that is covered in this story (I'm basically starting to set up his mindset for the mutiny), and b.) he's not talking about it. But he's going to in Teacher's Pet, where he's talking to Roslin. (One thing that really struck me about the mutiny- it didn't seem to snap Adama out of his funk, but it sure snapped Roslin out of hers and back into trying to do something.)

Dee and Lee were a trainwreck on the show, weren't they? I so wish they'd never hooked them up, which is funny because I actually LOVE how they handled Chief/Cally. I don't love the pairing, but I love the reality that with so few survivors, some people are going to settle and some people are going to convince themselves they're happy. And while I think he loved her in his way, I think if the attacks had never happened, eventually he would have been grinning proudly at her wedding as she married someone else. ::loves the idea of Cally's father being dead and Tyrol walking her down the aisle::

Wow. That derailed. But yeah, Dee and Lee didn't have that same vibe to me. Plus, Cally still got to do some things. Dee just became Love Interest. Stupid writers.

Thanks so much! :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

I think it's one of the fun things about writing secondary characters- a lot of their actions do make sense in canon, but we don't get to see the buildup. It will be an interesting difference to write the AU, however, and not have people know exactly where I'm going with that and what the conclusion is!

Thanks! :)

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

I want to keep them safe, too. I'm wondering if that's why it keeps stretching out so long.

I know you're wanting to wrap it up, but I'm certainly not complaining that it has lasted this long! :)

(One thing that really struck me about the mutiny- it didn't seem to snap Adama out of his funk, but it sure snapped Roslin out of hers and back into trying to do something.)

I noticed that, too. I think it's the reason why I was on ok terms with Laura there at the end, but still hated Adama so completely. I still wish he had died in some heroic manner to remind me why I once loved him. Instead, we got flashbacks of him puking on himself and harassing Boomer.

I actually liked Chief and Cally. I don't know why. I think it was clear from the union scene on New Caprica that they made a good team, and from Cally's flashbacks before she died that they did have a good chemistry. I guess the thing I keep coming back to whenever someone says "the best of limited options" is, hell, the city I live in has the same number of people that the BSG human race has left, total. And within my city, people find each other and fall in love all the time. No, Cally wasn't Boomer, but I do think Chief loved her all the same. Heck, in another life, Chief was engaged to Tory, and, well... I do believe the circumstances you are in will dictate the person you end up with. I think had New Caprica worked, Chief and Cally could have worked as well, lame Hot Dog retcon or not. But then again, you could be right- without the attacks, she probably would have found someone else once Galactica was decommissioned, and he would have stayed with Boomer.

But like you say, Cally still got to be her own person outside of Chief, and Dee got pushed to the side as someone to stand in the way of Kara and Lee, which was totally lame.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

How did this chapter start so amusing and end up so damned painful?

"I wonder if he calls her Madame President in bed," Noel mused. "'Oh yeah, Madame President, you like it like that, don't you?'" Noel pitched his voice lower in a very bad imitation of the Admiral. "'Ride my articles, and I'll give you a little DRADIS contact. Airlock me, baby.'"

I JUST DIED.

Guhhhhhh.... seeing things from Dee's POV is so painful. I mean me? Okay... no IMDB ruined me and told me Kara was coming back plus I was in shock so I didn't react much... but if I was reacting I would've been like my friend who just sobbed like a baby afterwards... so Dee's reaction to Kara's death is perfectly understandable for her... and yet still so hard to read.

In fact I kind of feel like crying now.

She laid on her side and pretended to sleep.

Next to her, Lee did the same.

I don't know why but I just loved this pair of lines.

"Unless you have a pen,"
And this made me laugh through all the pain.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Yeah, I think I was spoiled for Kara's death and return as well, and to be honest, while I like Kara, she's never been one I've connected with. If Tigh or Tyrol had died (or even Adama or Roslin pre-4.5), I would have cried. The only reason I didn't cry for Roslin was she died at the very end of the show. And I remember some comments that they didn't show Dee's reaction, and people saying that's because there was no good way to do it. You can't make Dee look really sad, because she's not, but at the same time, if she dares to show that she's not... she looks like a total bitch. I was delighted when I had the idea of her and Felix reacting together, because if there's ANYONE in the world Dee can show that reaction to, it's him.

Thanks so much, and sorry it was so painful! :)

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

I love how Kara's death almost rolls of Dee's back...because why should she care, especially at this point? It's interesting that most people who Kara cares about care about her right back, and they're the ones who get her good side more than her bad—it's the people she barely knows exist that she ends up hurting the most. It seems like it should be opposite. It's good that Gaeta and Dee got to have a little drink of relief.

And yay for Narcho! Though I'm very worried, probably more than Dee. Those signs, the something's-not-right ones, are flashing huge warnings to me.

Poor Dee, too, with Lee all caught up in his own world of grief and politics. I've always thought that Lee's biggest flaw is that he sees the world in a very certain way, and just assumes that he's both a) seeing reality, and b) that everyone else sees it exactly like him. So since Dee doesn't often strongly disagree, and doesn't even mention most of the little things she disagrees about, he just assumes that they're on the same page. Which hurts them both in the end, but more so Dee, because she has to deal with his cluelessness. I really wish they had started on terms that would make her more comfortable to speak up honestly to him, because that's the biggest thing holding them back.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Yeah, it kind of amazes me how Kara affects people. I like it, though. I suspect that if I was in the Fleet I would not like Kara, because I'd be hanging with the bridge bunnies, and they don't seem to like her.

Narcho... I'm planning on doing a short fic where he talks to Laura Roslin right before he dies that will sort of explain what was going on with him, but the long and short of it is that the only reason Noel hasn't eaten his own gun since right after the attack on the Colonies is he's had Hoshi and then Dee to care about, and he can't quite let his life go without a fight. I think that Noel was very much of the same mind as Felix when he mutinied- he did it for the right reasons, and he knew he would probably die because of it. (And in my universe, he does get the firing squad, unfortunately.)

You know, your comments about Dee and Lee are so interesting, because in so many ways what you're saying about Lee also applies to Felix. I kind of wish Lee had been in on the mutiny- I think he was set up for it but despite the fact that the writers didn't seem to like him, they didn't want to tarnish him too badly, either. ::Sigh::

And yeah, if Dee would just talk to Lee like she does talk to Adama more... they could have made a better go of it.

Thanks! :)

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

Your take on Narcho seems to fit with the very little we saw of him in the mutiny; and also his characterization in this story.

Lee definitely should have been in the mutiny, if they had been progressing his character correctly. But they made him a little too loyal to his father in the last season.

I wouldn't have pegged Felix for living in his own world, actually. He seems a bit too cynical for that.