Deny Thy Father, Chapter 1
Aug. 31st, 2006 04:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantSince ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gehayi asked so nicely,
Deny Thy Father was the first full-length fic I will admit to writing, I think. (I can't remember if the Psychotic Wench came before or after.) I wrote it over on Immeritus, which I no longer post at because my computer hates their new format. Originally, I had written an entry for the "Sirius Black is Mine" contest under Remus's name, which was fun, and I only did atwickedevra's prompting. One of the lines was about how one of the only times Remus had ever seen Sirius cry was when he ran away from home, and wickedevra again lured me into making that line a full-fledged fic. I retaliated by turning her into a Remus/Sirius shipper. Hehehe. Anyway, that's how Deny Thy Father was born.
It's interesting for me to reread this, because I wrote this about two years ago. I didn't use a beta, and I didn't use a Brit picker (that one REALLY shows.) But hey, all the better- we can all laugh together!
I would also like to point out that Chapter 1 of Deny Thy Father is 11 pages in Word, single spaced, 10 pt TNR font. That's half the length of an AIL chapter. I talk a lot.
A small black-haired child ran across the courtyard under his mother’s watchful eye. The sun streaked through the clouds, dancing off the fallen leaves of red and gold and glancing over the child’s determined face. Without warning, the boy fell, hands skidding forward on the cobblestones as he attempted to catch himself and a startled shout of pain and surprise escaped him. His mother swooped down to investigate the damage.
“Not a tear out of you,” she said proudly, tapping the little boy’s knees with her wand. He choked back the snuffle he’d been about to indulge in and managed an impudent grin instead. She kissed him on the forehead.
“You’ll make a fine Black yet, Sirius.”
***
The bundle was small and squalling. It stunk and it made way too much noise and his mother was fascinated with it. Sirius couldn’t understand why. All that stupid baby did was eat, cry, and sleep, and require never-ending changes of clothing and constant fussing.
His father, who had no patience with a single sob from three and a half-year old Sirius, tolerated the baby’s wailing. His mother, who constantly told him to be a little man, cuddled the new arrival to her, cooing.
Sirius felt distinctly put out.
No parent came in the night to tell him he was still loved, or explain that babies required a different kind of care. No one reassured the boy that he still had a place, or held him close and kissed his cheek as they did for the baby.
But when Sirius turned up one morning fully dressed with no help at all, his hair neatly brushed and holding himself perfectly erect, his father nodded approval and his mother smiled. He pulled his mother’s chair out that night at dinner, like he’d seen his father do so many times. He was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. Sirius got the message loud and clear- it was time to grow up.
When I wrote this, we had no idea of how much younger than Sirius Regulus was. As I went on further in AIL, I began to realize I had made him a bit too young. But there was this scene, and I just couldn't believe Sirius would remember any of this if he was 2 or so.
I also didn't want his parents to be EVIL right off the bat. If Sirius had always hated his parents, I can't believe he'd be so bitter about them in OotP. That's why, actually, I made him closer to his mother than his father. He's very "whatever" about his father in OotP- it makes me believe he buried that ghost a long time ago. His mother and his brother, however, I think are still wounds that need healing.
***
There were children in the street, playing some sort of ball game. Sirius watched them wistfully. They dressed differently than he did, in jeans and t-shirts, but other than that they looked pretty normal and they were his age. They would be more fun than anyone else in this house, anyway- certainly better than his parents or his tutor. He opened the door.
“Where are you going?”
Sirius turned around to glare at his five year old brother. “Outside.”
“You’re not s’posed to.”
“Says who?”
“Father.”
“Father’s not here right now. Besides, I’m not going far.”
“I’m gonna tell.”
“Fine, prat. Tell.” Sirius stepped out and slammed the door behind him.
Hehe. I love Regulus. I really do. He's such a whiny Momma's boy.
Because of the wards his father had placed on the house, the children didn’t see Sirius until he was standing right by them. The tallest boy looked at him in surprise.
Argh. Wards. So non-canon. And yet, they've infiltrated my brain.
In some ways, I don't mind them. To me, wards are Charms (or hexes or whatever) that a person places on an object that have a long-lasting effect. But there are more Potter-ish ways to say that. I don't recall ever seeing any mention of wards in the books, but I have a nasty tendency to use them. (I use them here, and I use them in AIL on the Lupin's house. Do I get any forgiveness for them not really figuring into the plot?
"Where did you come from? And what are you wearing? Is that a dress?”
I cannot imagine that young Sirius was allowed to wander around in Muggle clothing. At all.
“No, it’s a robe. Could I have a go?” Sirius glanced at the bat the boy was holding.
“What, a nancy-boy like you, playing a real man’s game?” the boy scoffed, and the other boys laughed. Sirius just shrugged. “All right then,” the boy agreed, tossing Sirius the bad. “Take a whack. Oi! Sid! Toss one up!”
Sirius had never played, but he’d watched the boys often enough from the window. As the ball came he swung and with a loud crack the ball went flying.
The boys were left looking at him with a new respect. “Blimey,” the tall boy said. “Where’d you learn to hit like that?”
Sirius just strikes me (and I think canonically so) as someone who is good at almost everything he touches. I think the boys are supposed to be playing cricket here. It's definitely not baseball- I knew THAT much!
Sirius didn’t really know how to answer.
“What’s your name?”
“Sirius Black.”
“Never heard of you. I’m Neil, and that’s Sid, Colm, John, and Dave.”
“Hi.”
“How come we’ve never seen you at school?” Sid asked.
“I have a tutor. Lots of people do, don’t they?”
“Only if you’re rich,” Dave said. He was looking at Sirius’s robes. “You are, aren’t you?”
Sirius shrugged again.
“Are you –royal-? Like the nobles?”
“I… don’t know. We’re pureblood, if that’s what you mean.”
This was an exchange I was pretty proud of. I thought it came out sounding like boys, but got the point across that Sirius had no idea how privileged he actually was. My thought is that the Blacks were so insular, Sirius rarely had occasion to compare his life with that of other people.
One of the boys whistled. “Well, Sir Sirius, want to join us? Teams of three?”
“All right.”
They played for another hour. Sirius was quick to pick up the rules of the game, and Neil was very helpful in explaining the fine points. He was enjoying himself very much when a strong hand caught his collar.
“Sirius Black!” his father shouted, yanking hard. “You come with me right now, young man. You are in very deep trouble!”
With a sinking stomach and a worried glance at his new friends, Sirius obeyed.
His father was silent as he dragged his eldest into the house, but his fury was so great it was nearly palatable. Sirius shivered. He’d never been in this much trouble before. But then, he’d never so directly disobeyed an order before, either.
“Did you find him?” Sirius’s mother hurried into the room. “Oh, thank heavens. Sirius, you’re filthy! Where were you?”
You know- and this is a recurring thing that I'm sure will keep coming up- I was never happy with the voice I got for Sirius's mother. She just didn't seem to come out right to me. I don't believe she was always like her portrait, but I do believe she was more stiff and formal than how I write her. It just never came out right.
Of course, maybe if I'd known her name was Walburga instead of Elizabeth…..
“He was outside,” his father answered before Sirius could say a word. “Playing with Muggles.”
All traces of his mother’s concern dropped, and her eyes flashed angrily. “Muggles?” she said, her face screwed up as if she’d just eaten something sour. “Sirius, you know better than that. What were you thinking? You’re father has told you time and time again not to go outside!”
“I wanted to play with them,” Sirius explained. “They were playing ball and I-“
“I don’t care. How could you be so thoughtless? There is a very good reason your father makes the rules he does, Sirius! A Black, playing in the street with Muggles! The shame of it!”
Okay, that one sounds like her. But I think that's the exception rather than the norm. :P
“It was just a game of ball!”
“No it wasn’t, Sirius!” his father spoke now. “Contact with Muggles is dangerous- it is a breech of security in the wizarding world!”
Can you tell I suck at the random capitalization?
“I didn’t tell them-“
“It doesn’t matter. They are sneaky, treacherous, and not to be trusted, Sirius! I cannot impress this upon you enough!”
Privately Sirius thought that these words didn’t seem to apply to Neil, who’d been so nice and helped him understand the game. But he had the sense to keep his mouth shut as his father continued to rage at him.
“You’re confined to your room for the next week, Sirius,” he finally finished.
“Yes, sir.”
“And you will never speak to those boys again.”
Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but his father’s hand was posed to strike.
“Yes, sir.”
Oooh. I'm a little surprised I put that in there- the fact that his father was about to hit him. The idea was that Sirius's father rarely hit him until Sirius got to Hogwarts, when it began to increase. Because I made Mr. Black an Unspeakable, I had this theory that he had some magic that started tampering with his brain, rather than going for the whole inbred = crazy theory (which is probably more likely). Then again, the Blacks were probably of the spanking school, and this was a major transgression on Sirius's part.
***
“I’m worried about Sirius,” his mother said late that night.
His father didn’t look up from his reading. “He has to learn, Elizabeth.”
Wouldn't you rather be named Elizabeth?
“No, no. I didn’t think you were too hard on him. You were right. But he is lonely.”
“He’ll be in school in a few years.”
“Yes, but that’s a long time for a boy his age, Arden.”
He put down the parchment he’d been studying. “What are you trying to suggest?”
“Couldn’t we have some of the other families bring their sons over?”
“No one worth knowing lives close enough. You know that. There’s no one around here. At least, not with boys his age or close.”
“I guess.” She sighed.
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “It’s only for three more years.”
As mentioned, I like the idea that Sirius and his mother used to love each other. It makes it so much more plausible that they'd despise each other after.
***
His father had forbidden contact with Muggles, but that didn’t stop Sirius from watching out the window. It wasn’t fair. Neil and Sid and the others were really nice- and lots more fun than stupid Regulus who could only tattle.
Sirius wanted to obey. He wanted to be like his father- respected and successful, rich and very powerful. He wanted his father’s approval and his mother to smile proudly when she looked at him. But as he opened the window he could hear the boys calling to each other, and more than anything Sirius wanted to join them.
There was an apple tree by his window- an old, gnarled structure that bore wooden-tasting fruit in the autumn. The branches were sturdy and strong… and far too conveniently placed.
Within moments, Sirius was free.
Hee. This was one of those moments that I have no doubt is canon. (Modest, aren't I?) But I can totally see young Sirius sneaking out for some reason.
***
“Do you always have to wear those robes?” Neil asked a week later.
Sirius shrugged. “Don’t own anything else.”
“Royal people are weird,” Neil said with a wrinkled nose. The boys hadn’t been able to sort it out, but with Sirius’s strange attire, insistence that he was a pureblood, and regal and cold father, he had to be royal.
“I have a few old shirts that are too small for me,” Sid suggested. “And an old pair of jeans. You’d have to roll them up, but you could borrow them for games.”
Like a ten year old boy is gonna know that really? Or think of it? It would have been more in character for Sid just to give Sirius his own clothing.
“Really? Thanks!”
Sid was true to his word, and the next day he brought some old castoffs for Sirius to wear. When Sirius got them home he did check them over carefully, but there were no pins waiting to jab into him or razor blades to dying to cut his skin. They were just clothes.
Someone on Immeritus rightfully pointed out that Sirius wouldn't look for razor blades or Muggle traps, but magic stuff. Oops.
He realized that they were also a disguise. The night he was out a little too late his father did not recognize him, because there was no way the son of Arden Black could be playing in the street in Muggle clothing. It simply wasn’t possible.
And without realizing it, Sirius granted himself a small measure of freedom.
***
“Boarding school!” Neil exclaimed.
“Yeah. I leave September first.” Sirius bounced the ball back and forth on his knees.
“Your family must be really posh to send you to boarding school,” Sid declared.
“Will it be awful?” Colm asked.
“Nah- it will be great.” And Sirius meant it. But even as he said it he could feel the gap widening between him and the others. It was sad, but part of Sirius just mentally shrugged. They WERE Muggles, after all, and now he’d finally be around others his age from his world- people he could really be friends with. Once he had wizarding friends, he’d be fine.
I have this belief that young Sirius never really gave a lot of thought to other people. I'll talk more about it later on, but here he never really thinks about his impact on these boys. And to be fair, they probably missed him for a few days and then life went on. But still, I liked this bit because you can see Sirius's inherent sense of aristocracy, but just by the fact he has been playing with them you can see he doesn't really believe it, either.
***
“I can’t believe you’re starting Hogwarts,” his mother said, checking over his packing. There must be mothers saying that all over Britain, Sirius realized. He sat down on the bed and sighed.
His mother noticed. “What is it?”
He fidgeted.
“Are you excited?”
“Yes, but…”
“Well?”
He looked up at her, distinctly uncomfortable. “Mother… is it okay to say I’ll miss you?”
Sniffle.
His mother smiled. “It’s fine, Sirius.” In a rare gesture she reached out and ruffled his silky black hair, and then smoothed it back into place again. “Now. Behave yourself while you’re there, understand? You’re representing the Black family now.”
He received a similar speech from his father over breakfast, but much longer and with a few threats; threats that Sirius was well accustomed to hearing and quite bored with. He kept wondering what Hogwarts would be like, what his roommates would be like, and most importantly, what it would be like to be around other wizards his age. By the time his father said that it was time to go to King’s Cross, Sirius was ready to jump out of his skin.
Realistically, I think Sirius's mother would have made threats too.
Part of the problem I actually had with Sirius's mother is "Deny Thy Father" jumped out at me as a title so quickly, and it really shaped how I thought about the fic. If you look at it, the fathers are all the stronger characters (in terms of development) in this fic, with the possible exception of Mrs. Lupin, who is a grown-up Mary Sue to an extent. Well, not Mary Sue. But I did everything in my power to make you love her. Yes, I'm totally mean. But because of the title, I focused more on the father/son relations. I sort of regret that, because it's Mrs. Black we see in canon. But hey.
They took brooms, leaving Regulus behind in the care of the house elf. It made Sirius feel very grown up to be out with just his parents, headed to school. He was beside himself with excitement, but with his father’s stern eye on him he was able to contain it.
Notice how rarely house-elves end up in my stories. I hate writing them. Their speech patterns annoy the living daylights out of me.
The platform was crowded with families waiting for the train. Sirius had no idea that so many wizarding families existed. He caught the eye of another black-haired boy and grinned. The boy smiled back, pushing his glasses up his nose.
CLICHÉ! CLICHÉ! I really wish I hadn't had them meet on the train. I like to break fanon conventions and cliches, and this one is one where I gave in.
I can see both scenarios- James and Sirius being instant soul mates, or James and Sirius despising each other at first. I went for the first because by second year they were all close enough to do the Animagus thing, and because I wanted to focus on Sirius's relationship with his family. (In this fic, I was actually pretty good at trimming away anything that didn't focus on that or lead to that goal.) And meeting on the train (or before it) is easy. Get to the good stuff type easy. Hey- at least it was just James and Sirius.
His mother noticed the direction of Sirius’s glance and nodded. “Excellent, Sirius,” she said, her voice radiating approval. She nudged his father and indicated the family. His father nodded in an identical manner to his mother, and approached the boy’s father.
“Timothy Potter, am I correct?” he said with an extended hand.
The man, who looked very much like his young son, started and then took Mr. Black’s hand. “Yes, indeed, I’m afraid so,” he said with a good-natured grin. “You’re Arden Black, right? Pleasure to meet you.” They shook. “This is my wife, Amelia.” The mother inclined her head towards Mr. Black, but her warm smile reached Sirius and his mother. “And this is our son, James,” Mr. Potter was saying. “He’s a first year this year.”
I suck at coming up with Wizarding names.
“So is Sirius.” His father’s hand was on his back, pressing him forward. “And this is my wife, Elizabeth. I saw your article in the Prophet the other day. Fascinating as always. But have you considered the implications of your stance?”
Apparently James's father as a writer is a popular characterization. If I'd known that, I might have done something different.
“Of course. I-“
James’s eyes met Sirius’s, and he rolled them. Sirius smirked, and with his hands made the little “talk talk talk” motion that kids stuck in the line of fire of grownup conversation make everywhere. James pulled a face, and Sirius puffed his chest out and scowled in an excellent imitation of his father. James stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing.
I do like that little moment though!
They hadn’t even left the train station, and already Sirius had a friend.
***
“GRYFFINDOR!”
Sirius was surprised. He’d been expecting Slytherin. But one House was the same as another, he supposed, and he slipped off the stool and headed towards the Gryffindor table.
“Congratulations, mate,” said the red-headed boy he sat down next to. “I’m Tom Weasley. I’m one of the prefects.”
Weasley… biggest bunch of blood traitors… a little voice whispered in Sirius’s head. But he ignored it. “I’m Sirius Black,” he said, unnecessarily.
Tom Weasley is meant to be Arthur's cousin. He was supposed to be a bit more of a character- sort of like a big brother to Sirius- but he never actually fleshed out. Oh well.
“Of course,” Tom laughed, and Sirius blushed. He smiled uncomfortably and turned back to the Sorting.
A pretty girl with read hair was the next to be sorted into Gryffindor. “Is she a Weasley?” Sirius asked Tom over the applause.
“Hey now! Just because we’re a big family doesn’t mean every redhead in Britain is related to us!” Tom laughed. “No, she’s not. Not that I know of, anyway. They said her last name was Evans.”
“Oh.” Two more girls were sorted into Gryffindor, and then finally a boy. Sirius perked up, eager to see his new roommate. He was a small, skinny boy with shaggy brown hair and if Sirius had heard correctly was called Remus. He gave the new arrival a quick smile and then focused on James. He really hoped James would be a Gryffindor, too.
Pet peeve: I hate when Sirius and Remus see each other and instantly know there's something special there. First of all, they're eleven. That creeps me out. Second, you just don't always know. I knew my husband a year before I was attracted to him. I am not a big believer in love at first sight.
For reference, Remus was sitting with Snape on the train. One of my favorite theories was that Remus and Snape met on the train, and sort of hit it off in an awkward sort of way. Snape, who was just as lonely as Remus, really thought that he'd found someone who might be a friend. However, since they were both rather socially awkward, Remus didn't pick up the same vibe, and when he was Sorted into Gryffindor and Snape was Sorted into Slytherin, he didn't think much of it. James, Peter, and Sirius adopted Remus pretty quick, and also made fun of Snape. While Remus wouldn't join in, he also didn't exactly break away and hang out with Snape, either. The reason Snape started hating MWPP was he felt like they'd stolen his first friend and turned him against him.
Of course, he'd never admit that now.
A boy named Peter Pettigrew was now sitting on the stool. It seemed like he was sitting there a long time- Sirius had been a quick decision and the hat had barely touched Remus’s head. Finally, the hat pronounced Peter a Gryffindor and he scurried over. James would be next. Sirius crossed his fingers and held his breath.
Obviously, the Hat was debating Slytherin and Gryffindor. I wonder which Houses the Hat was debating for Neville?
“James Potter!”
James stepped forward, put on the hat, and sat on the stool.
It was almost as quick as it had been for Sirius. “GRYFFINDOR!”
Sirius let out a cheer with the others. James hurried over and sat down next to him, and Sirius gave him a high-five. His chest relaxed and he felt like he could breathe again- he hadn’t realized he’d been so tense.
“We’re getting a lot of girls this year.” Tom, sitting next to him, was still watching the Sorting. “You’re going to be some very lucky blokes!”
Hehe. Two bad I write two of them as gay. The girls never get identities in this, except for Emily Fairchild and Tina Lovegood. One of the things that always makes me think is that Lily didn't choose one of her friends for godmother. Now, it's completely possible that Lily's best friends are dead by that point, or that she and James discussed it and they decided on Sirius. But my gut instinct is that Lily, while popular, didn't have the really tight bonds that James had with the MWPP crew.
Just four blokes, it turned out, and seven girls were in Gryffindor this year once the last student had been called. “Glad that’s over,” Sirius said as Dumbledore announced the feast could begin. “I’m starving!”
“Me too,” Tom said. “So what house were you expecting, Sirius?”
Like I said, I suck with the random capitalization. :P
“Huh? Me? How’d you know I was expecting anything?”
“You should have seen your face when the hat said you were in Gryffindor!”
“Oh. Well, Slytherin, to be honest. All of my family’s been in Slytherin, I think, except my cousin Andromeda- she was a Hufflepuff.”
Guess not. Oh well. I like the idea that Andromeda was a Hufflepuff. Especially since I made her cool.
“I kind of thought I might be Slytherin too,” James admitted, and then shrugged good naturedly. “But my dad was a Gryffindor and my mother was a Ravenclaw. What about you, Peter?”
“I thought I was Hufflepuff for sure. We haven’t met, have we?” Peter said, holding his hand out to Sirius. “I’m Peter Pettigrew.”
I'm figuring Peter's whole family was Hufflepuff, because they so would have fit there. I like Peter's family. As in, I like them as people (they're kind of flat as characters, because they don't get much screen time).
“Sirius Black.” Sirius grinned at him.
“What about you?” James prodded Remus, who was quietly pushing around a pile of mashed potatoes. The boy jumped. He was pale and looked downright frightened, Sirius realized. How silly. Wasn’t Gryffindor supposed to be for the brave?
I'm figuring that Remus is nervous here. Not shy, just nervous. I'm also wondering how close it is to the full moon. But Remus has never been around this many kids before, and certainly not kids like Sirius and James and Peter, who are all striking him as so confident. I don't like timid Remus, but hey- everyone gets nervous.
“I guess I thought I’d be a Ravenclaw,” Remus was saying quietly. “Dad was, and Mum certainly would have been if she’d gone to Hogwarts.”
“Where’d your Mum go?” Sirius asked. “Beauxbatons or Durmstrong?”
“No place. Well, no place magical. She’s not a witch,” Remus answered, still stirring the potatoes.
“You’re a Mudblood?” Sirius said with surprise. The entire table fell quiet immediately. It was that loaded, angry sort of silence that clearly shouts that you’ve said something wrong. “What?”
Oh, Sirius. You're so clueless! And you never totally change on that front, do you?
Remus’s eyes had narrowed to small slits. “What did you call me?” he asked.
See? Nervous- not shy. Since Remus and Sirius aren't friends at this point, I don't see where Remus would have any trouble standing up to Sirius. Remus will give in easily to his friends, but other than that he is perfectly capable of standing up for himself.
“A Mudblood. It’s a name for someone whose parents aren’t magic, isn’t it?” Sirius asked. “That’s what my father says.”
James struggled to compose himself. “It is, but only if you really want to insult the person. The rest of us just call them Muggleborns.”
My James can be clueless at times, but he's really rather intuitive… when he listens to his intuition. I think James is the first person here to catch on that Sirius really didn't know Mudblood was an insult.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Tom was softening. “Are you really this clueless?”
“I… guess.” Sirius looked around at the angry faces. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
***
He caught Remus Lupin on the way up to the Gryffindor tower. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said, with no preamble. “I really didn’t know it was a bad word. My father never calls Muggleborns anything else. Really.”
Because Sirius is nothing if not direct. Love that about him.
Remus turned to face him and sighed. “Did it ever, just once, occur to you that calling someone something that has ‘mud’ in it might not be, well, nice?”
Now that he said it, Sirius felt stupid. “Oh. Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never met a Muggleborn before.”
Remus sighed again, resigned. “S’okay. I’ve never met a pureblood before, to be honest.” He gave a shy smile. “And technically I’m a half-blood. Quite literally. My Dad is a wizard.”
“Oh.” Sirius thought about this. It was something he knew existed, but was looked down on with great suspicion. By his father, at least, that little voice said. “So what’s it like living with a Muggle?”
Remus shrugged. “What’s it like not living with a Muggle?”
Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but before he could James and Peter ran up and grabbed them. “Run,” James commanded.
“Run?”
“Run! James set off a dungbomb!”
Behind them there was a loud bang. James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus ran.
And they begin.
One thing I had a very, very hard time doing was writing the MWPP crowd as bullies. The first year it's sort of silly, mind you. I don't think four 11 year olds would be able to bully too many people without getting squashed to a pulp. I think the bullying came later (except for a few select cases, like Snape). I justify it in this by saying that Sirius never thought much about what he was doing, which is likely conveniently true. The truth is I have a hard time writing bullies. So I was unimaginative and went with a dungbomb.
***
The large tawny owl dropped a letter on Sirius’s plate at breakfast. “Would it kill you to miss the eggs?" he shouted as the bird winged off.
He picked it up, wiped it off, and opened it, recognizing his mother’s elegant script immediately.
Sirius,
I’m so glad to hear you are settling into Hogwarts. I must confess I was shocked to hear you were sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin, but I am certain you will do the House of Black proud regardless.
It is quiet without you here, but Regulus keeps us going. He is doing extremely well with his studies, and will be starting multiplication and division with Professor Mathes…
Me here. I do accept it was a shock for Sirius's parents (and for Sirius himself) that he wasn't Sorted into Slytherin. But I have a hard time believing that's where the trouble began, because it's so superficial. The Hat is, in its way, very one-dimensional, which I think is something JKR is trying to show. Sirius would have fit very well into any of the four Houses. He's obviously ambitious (youngest Animagus ever, with James and Peter), obviously intelligent, and obviously loyal. But even with the younger generation- Harry could have been Slytherin, Ron has Hufflepuff written all over him, and Hermione is a natural fit for Ravenclaw. So I don't think Sirius's parents would have freaked out about him being Sorted into Gryffindor. They might not have been thrilled, but I doubt that was what brought down the house.
Now, those qualities in Sirius that led to him being a Gryffindor rather than a Slytherin….
She went on about Regulus’s lessons and activities for several paragraphs. Sirius wrinkled his nose and scanned impatiently. Who cared what the little twit was doing? Ah, there. She was done.
I am very pleased to hear you have become friends with James Potter. Your father comments on it every time he sees one of Tim’s articles in the Daily Prophet. He says that Tim is an impractical idealist, but he and his wife are very respectable people. Your father also says the Pettigrews are a decent family. Not quite our class, of course, but they are purebloods. Peter should be an acceptable friend for you.
I must caution you about this Remus Lupin, however. Your father investigated his background. As you know, Headmaster Dumbledore is not as discerning about certain students as he should be. The Lupin boy may not have told you, but he is most assuredly a Mudblood. I realize you can not avoid him as you are in the same House, but be aware that he is not to be trusted and is not worthy of your notice.
Good luck with your studies, and write again soon.
Mother
Sirius made a face, scowling at the last paragraph.
“I don’t think it notices.” The subject of said paragraph sat down across from him. “And anyway, what did that poor parchment ever do to you?”
“Letter from home,” Sirius explained.
“Oh. Bad news?”
For a brief moment Sirius considered telling Remus what his mother had said. But he didn’t want to. It had taken long enough for Remus to say more than please or thank you to Sirius after the Mudblood incident. “Just a load of rubbish about my brother,” he said, not lying. “Who cares what the little monster is up to?”
Remus smiled, but the smile seemed off. Before Sirius could analyze it, Remus asked, “Is he really that bad?”
Obviously, the monster comment hit home. I'm so subtle sometimes. :P
“He’s bloody awful. Whining, complaining, tattling Momma’s boy.”
Remus grinned again, but this time for real. “Hello, James. We were just talking about you.”
Heee. I LOVE it when Remus insults one of the others like that.
Sirius whirled to see his best friend standing behind him. He relaxed as he saw the grin on James’s face.
“Yeah, who else could you be talking about with such a glowing review?” James asked. “What’s up?”
“Sirius just got a letter from home, detailing the exploits of one Regulus Black.” Remus tore a croissant into thirds and managed to shove an entire third into his mouth. “He failed to be fascinated by said descriptions,” he said around the mouthful of pastry.
“My mother would have you called up on the carpet for your table manners,” Sirius said, watching with a disgusted fascination.
“Yeah, it drives Mum nuts too, but I’m in a hurry. I have to finish that essay for Transfiguration.”
Because teenaged boys seem to forget table manners until they decide they want to impress girls and we aren't amazed by watching them masticate their meal.
“What?” James exclaimed. “It’s not due for two more days!”
“Yeah, but I have etiquette lessons tomorrow night,” Remus quipped, cramming the rest of the croissant into his mouth and scooping up his books. “See ya.”
***
“Do you think Remus can be trusted?” Sirius whispered to James three days later.
“Not in Potions class, no. Isn’t the solution supposed to be blue?”
I tend to prefer the version where Remus is an average student in Potions. He says he as never much of a Potion brewer, and he's not really up to the Wolfsbane. However, he almost sounds like he would make it if he could when he says that. But it also seems like Potions is a pretty exact science, and one little mistake could really alter your potion.
Sirius looked over to where Peter and Remus were working. Their orange concoction was spitting venomously, unlike the serene blue liquid he was stirring. “Seriously, though. I mean, where was he last night?”
“You heard him,” James said with a grin. “Etiquette class!”
“Not with the way he ate lunch!”
“So he spilled some soup on you. Get over it already. Maybe the hospital wing- he doesn’t look so good today.” James snickered. “Etiquette classes must really take a lot out of a person.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but James was right. Remus looked exhausted, almost as if he were sick. But he hadn’t said a word about where he’d been when pressed, and if he’d been sick surely he would have told them?
“So do you think he’s trustworthy?” Sirius decided to return to the subject at hand.
“Why do you keep asking that? What are you planning on doing? Storming the castle? Dueling Snape and looking for a second? Leaving piles of galleons out in the bedroom?”
Poor Sirius is so out of touch with the world in a way.
“No, I…” It was a good question. What DID he expect Remus to do? “It’s just Mother. She says I shouldn’t trust him because he’s a Mud- er, half-blood.”
“No offense, Sirius, but your mother needs to get her head out of her arse.”
Sirius blinked at James blankly. He had no idea what to say to that.
How about "Amen"? Although to be fair, you don't insult someone's parents.
***
The snow was falling thickly when the Hogwarts Express pulled into King’s Cross station. “Finally!” James said, stretching. “We’re here.” He elbowed Remus, who was asleep beside him. Remus muttered something, but didn’t wake up.
You know, I'm not sure why I put them all on the train. Probably because it makes sense. I mean, when the kids go home for holidays in the books, they take other means of transport. But if you can do that, why take the train at the beginning and end of the year?
And for that matter, what if you aren't coming from somewhere around London? What if you live in Scotland? Or Hogsmeade? Do you go down to London, get on the train, and then go right back up to Hogwarts?
“I don’t get it,” Peter whispered.
“What?” Sirius was gathering together the gobstones they’d been playing with.
“Remus went home two days ago to visit his mum, right? Because she was sick? Why didn’t he just stay with the holidays so close?”
Sirius and James exchanged glances, eyebrows raised. It was a really good point.
Before they could discuss it further, the train lurched to a stop. Sirius and James grabbed their bags, Peter shook Remus awake, and the four of them stumbled off the train.
The platform was crowded with parents, and they had to stand on their toes to see. James’s parents found them first.
“James!” Amelia Potter attacked her son and smothered him in an embrace. His father was right behind.
“Mom- ger’off!” James was struggling to free himself.
Sirius laughed. “Have a good holiday, James!” The three pushed a little further.
Next to Sirius, Remus started. “Oh- there’s my dad. See you guys later! Merry Christmas!” Before Sirius or Peter could answer, he slipped through the crowd, met immediately by a man that wrapped an arm around his shoulders and took his bag. Sirius watched them for a moment, then Peter cried out.
“Are your parents here?” Sirius asked.
“They must be! Here come my sisters!” Peter waved eagerly at two little girls who were weaving through the people. They both launched themselves at their older brother, hugging him tightly.
I really do love Peter's sisters. They're cute!
“Peter!” one of the girls shrieked. “We missed you!”
Peter’s face was flushed pink with pleasure. “I missed you too. Where are Mam and Da?”
“Back there. C’mon.”
They wormed through, towards a couple that were standing waiting. The woman was small, plump and smiling, and the man beside her had a cheerful-looking face. And next to them was the object of Sirius’s own quest: Arden and Elizabeth Black.
They looked different to him. Perhaps it was because they were standing next to the Pettigrews. They looked taller, more regal. Sirius was very aware that his parents’ robes were very fine quality, and the heavy silver chain that hung at his mother’s neck looked out of place next to Mrs. Pettigrew’s more casual dress. His father had been talking to Mr. Pettigrew in low undertones, but as they boys approached they broke off their conversation. His father nodded, but his mother smiled and lifted her hand in greeting.
“Mother.” Sirius finally made it to them, and kissed his mother on the cheek formally. Beside him, Peter was hugging his father tightly. Sirius turned his eyes back to his own father, and extended his hand. “Father.”
Subtle I am not. See how I scream "SIRIUS WANTS A FAMILY LIKE THAT!" Actually, for me, this is still pretty good on that front.
Arden Black smiled with approval, and clapped his oldest son on the shoulder. Sirius’s heart soared. He straightened with pride, and was rewarded with his mother’s hand on his other shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
***
“They seem like decent people, the Pettigrews,” his father said as they entered the house. After the months of activity at Hogwarts and the noise of the station, the big house seemed overwhelmingly quiet to Sirius. “Not our class socially, of course,” his father was saying, “but they have their priorities straight. What’s Peter like?”
How many times did I repeat that? Sheesh. But right there I'm dropping that first hint about Peter. The Pettigrews have their priorities straight according to an adult Black. The Pettigrews are wonderful people, but there's a worm in the apple, so to speak.
“He’s great,” Sirius said idly. “Not the best at lessons and all, but he’s a load of fun.” He was looking around the foyer.
I really hope this never got interpreted as "I don't like Peter", as it's intended to be "I'm bored with this conversation."
One of the classes they were required to take at school was called Defense Against the Dark Arts. It had never really occurred to Sirius until now that some of the magic his family practiced might be considered Dark. In fact, he realized, he knew very little about what his father actually did, only that he was important in the Ministry.
“We’ll have a full house for Christmas,” his mother said, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. “Elladora and Richard are bringing Bellatrix and Andromeda, but I think Narcissa is going to be with the Malfoys this year. Your grandmother Prewett will be here, as well as your great uncle Alphard. You’ll have to sleep on the floor in Regulus’s room.”
Yes, this was written before the Black family tree was released.
I have debated going back and revising DTF and AIL to include the proper names of the Black parents. Opinions? It would be a simple matter of Search and Replace.
“What?”
“Well, we need the beds.”
“Why doesn’t he sleep on the floor in my room?”
Heh. I'm totally siding with Sirius here. I used to get kicked out of my room and put into my sister's when we had that much company. I think because my room was bigger and closer to the bathroom, realistically.
“Don’t argue with your mother, Sirius.”
“Regulus is a growing boy. He needs good sleep.”
“So do I,” Sirius muttered, but at a stern glance from his father he added, “Sorry.”
His mother sighed and shook her head. “Just behave, Sirius. The last thing I need over the holiday is to cope with some teenaged issues. You might as well put your things into Regulus’s room now. Alphard will be here tonight.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sirius said, but it lacked the normal submission. He did his best not to stomp off.
Unlike Remus in AIL, who stomps around the house frequently. Teenagers are so much fun to write.
Regulus was in his room. “You can have that bit,” he said, gesturing imperiously to a quarter of the room. “Don’t put your clothes on my side, or I’ll tell.”
“Tattle tale.”
“Idiot.”
“Prat.”
“Berk.”
“Wanker.”
Pre-HBP, I was convinced Regulus wasn't going to be important, so I wrote him as a bratty little brother. In HBP, I was gloriously, wonderfully proved wrong. (Seriously. That note was my absolute favorite part of the book. God, I LOVE Regulus!) However, I'm glad I started writing Regulus this way, because I really, really, really like my incarnation of him in Accidentally In Love, and I might have been tempted to go more noble if I'd known then what I know now. And that would have been a shame, because my Regulus kind of says that prats can be heroes, too.
Regulus didn’t respond, and Sirius turned away, happy to have the last word. Then, “You’re going to be in so much trouble.”
“Why? I haven’t done anything.”
“Mother says you have a Mudblood friend.”
“There’s a half-blood in my dormitory, yes. So?” Sirius demanded, but his stomach twisted guiltily even as he said it.
“Mother says Father’s going to be furious when he finds out.”
“I can’t control who Dumbledore lets into Hogwarts. And besides, Father already knows.”
“Oh.”
“Ha!” Thoroughly annoyed, Sirius grabbed his school bag and left the room.
Heee. Take away the ammo!
He spent the afternoon in the library, intending to work on his homework. But he got distracted and spent most of the afternoon curled in a chair, reading a book he’d found on his father’s shelves. It was not an easy book: the words were long and the sentences were complicated, and Sirius wondered how much of it he really understood. If he understood it right, it didn’t seem like the author had thought things through. But it had been published, right? It must be good.
Because Sirius is intelligent, people. EXTREMELY intelligent.
“Sirius?”
He started up, noticing that it was quite late in the afternoon. “Hello, Father.”
“Uncle Alphard is here.”
“Oh. All right.” Sirius marked his place and put the book down. His father noticed.
“Ah. He picked the book up, flashing the title. Purebloods: the Nobility of the Wizarding World. He turned it over in his hands. “This is an advanced book for you, Sirius.” But his tone was admiring, not disapproving.
“It’s not that hard. I have a question about it though.”
“I’ll be happy to answer.”
“The author says that pure-blood marriages are the only way to ensure the survival of the wizarding race. But won’t we eventually run out of purebloods to marry?”
His father shook his head. “Not at all. Come here, son.” He extended an arm and Sirius obeyed. “See this tapestry? It represents our family tree. It starts with a very few people, but look how it’s branched here at the bottom. As purebloods marry and have children, they multiply.”
Pureblood genetics make my head hurt.
“Yes, but I couldn’t marry a lot of them,” Sirius pointed out. “I couldn’t marry Narcissa or Bellatrix, or even Molly or Maria.”
“No. But you could marry Tessa or Valentine,” his father said. “Anyone from…” he pointed to a spot, “here on out is acceptable. And, of course, other pureblood families have trees like this too.” He chuckled. “You aren’t thinking of getting married already, are you?”
If I'd written this post tree, I would have had fun having Sirius note that Orion had married his second cousin. Which really does explain so much. (Along with the fact that her name is Walburga. Sorry- I just can't get over that!)
Sirius smiled up at him. “No, I was just reading and-“
“Well, like I said, it IS an advanced book for you. But I am very pleased to see you taking an interest in the subject.” His father studied him. “We’ll talk much more about this aspect in a few years. You don’t even have to think about it until you’re over seventeen. Then we’ll find you the right girl.”
“Whatever,” Sirius shrugged. The concept of marriage and romance as applied to him was not remotely interesting. He wanted to ask more questions in order to prolong this rare, grownup moment when his father talked to him like… well, like what? Not an equal, but… Unbidden, he remembered Peter hugging his father, and Remus’s father putting his arm around him and taking his bag. “What about Squibs?” he asked his father, trying to banish those thoughts. “They can be born into pureblood families, right?”
I remember writing a fanfic in Pern where a girl had an arranged marriage, and simply didn't care. She accepted it because that was exactly what her society did. That's kind of how I was thinking Sirius here. Sirius doesn't really react because he's always known his marriage would be semi-arranged, and he accepts it at this point. Plus, he's 11.
“It’s sad, and it’s rare, but yes. It- oh, Elizabeth.”
“There you are.” Sirius’s mother had been standing in the doorway.
“We were just having a little chat,” Sirius’s father said. “Sirius decided to do some extra reading.” He held up the book, and Sirius’s mother brightened.
“Very good. But I thought I should let you know Alphard is here.” She ushered the man in.
Great uncle Alphard had always been one of Sirius’s favorite relations. A confirmed bachelor, Alphard traveled all over curse-breaking for Gringotts. Last time he had visited Sirius had been nine, and Alphard had brought him the most wonderful finger puzzle from China. But when his great uncle entered the room, Sirius was shocked at the change in him.
How could someone age so much in two years? Alphard had always looked young for his age, but now he looked like it had caught up with him overnight. He was thinner than Sirius remembered, and looked tired and worn. However, he did smile at his great nephew.
Gee. I wonder why he looks so tired?
This is one of my favorite characterizations, and one I not-so-secretly would catch on. I get tired of the Alphard-left-Sirius-his-money-because-they-were-both-Gryffindors thing, because I just don't put that much stock into Houses mattering after Hogwarts. (Can you tell I never went Greek?) I also can't remember- was it even clear that Alphard was dead when he gave Sirius the money? I think it is- I MUST have checked that- but I don't remember. But I wanted something more. Something more of a connection, something that showed that Sirius stood out from the Blacks more than him being Sorted into Gryffindor did. The werewolf thing was a bolt from the blue and I nearly turned cartwheels when I thought of it. (I'm assuming, if you are actually reading this, you know that Alphard is a werewolf in my universe.) Like I said, I really wish it would catch on a bit, but I understand why it doesn't. It's a little more distinct than other characterizations- I think most people recognize that's one I did first. (To my knowledge, I did it first, anyway.
I would love to know what JKR thinks, though. I'd love to know her reaction to that. Probably "You need to get a life", but hey.
“Well, well, well. Look at you. Grown and a Hogwarts student now from what I hear.”
“Yes, sir.” Sirius smiled back at him something that approached impudence.
“I also hear you’ve committed the terrible crime of being sorted into Gryffindor. Good for you!”
“Alphard, don’t encourage the boy.”
“Nonsense! Gryffindor is a fine house! I should know!”
“Were you a Gryffindor?” Sirius asked eagerly.
“Indeed I was. And still am, at heart. We’ll have to have a long talk later, you and I. Gryffindor secrets,” he explained, winking at a disapproving Arden.
They did talk, much later that night. Sirius enjoyed the man-to-man way Alphard addressed him, the privilege of staying up late, and the watered down glass of firewhiskey his uncle permitted him to drink.
“So tell me about your friends,” Alphard said, after he’d told Sirius the secrets of the tower and how to get into the kitchens. “What are they like?”
Somebody has to pass this sort of info down!
“Well, there’s James Potter.”
“Potter? As in Timothy Potter’s son?”
“Yes.”
Alphard whistled through his teeth. “I read his stuff. Boy, is he good. He could convince a dragon not to breathe fire, the way he writes.”
“Father says he’s idealistic?”
“Yes, perhaps. Perhaps not. I think he and Arden are going to see very differently on issues in the future,” Alphard mused. “What’s James like?”
I'm not sure what Alphard is really thinking here. I think, because of his affliction, Alphard is a little more objective than Sirius's father.
“He’s great!” Sirius said enthusiastically. “He’s really bright, and he’s a load of fun, and he comes up with the best ideas.”
“Ideas? For what?”
Oops. “Erm…”
“Pranks?”
ARGH. I hate, hate, hate that word. I'm not sure why. I just do. But I used it anyway. And I suck at coming up with them, which is why they never showed up. Which is fine. Too distracting from the main storyline anyway.
“I guess you could say that?”
Alphard smiled. “So tell me about them!”
“Well, there was this one time we turned Snivellus Snape’s desk into a giant spider. Well, we tried to, anyway, but it didn’t come out right. And then we set off fireworks during Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall-“
“Minerva?” Alphard hooted with laughter. “She was in my year at Hogwarts! I would have loved to have seen her face! How much detention did she give you?”
Unrequited Minerva/Alphard is one of my favorite prove me wrong dammit! ships in the HP universe. Although it can't topshaggydogstail's Sirius/Stubby.
“None, amazingly. Our friend Remus Lupin talked us out of that one.”
Alphard stilled. “Remus Lupin?”
“Yeah. There’s four of us- the other one is Peter Pettigrew.”
“You’re friends with Remus Lupin?”
“Yeah,” Sirius replied, the hackles starting to rise. “I know he’s a half-blood and all…”
Alphard shook his head, and then snapped back together. “Stay friends with him, Sirius.”
“What? Mother and Father keep telling me to drop him.”
“Sometimes, there are things that are more important than blood. Stay friends with him.”
Since Sirius had been planning on doing so anyway, it was very easy to agree.
I really wonder how many people picked up there werewolf thing here. I don't consider myself near as tricksy as JKR, even if I think I'm pretty decent at plot and twists.
***
After Sirius went to bed, Alphard sought out his nephew. “You’re going to have your hands full with that one,” he laughed.
Nephew-in-law. Oops.
“Yes,” Arden sighed. “We’ve already had a few owls about him and James. Apparently they’ve spent some time in detention. You shouldn’t encourage him, Alphard.”
“I should. He’s a bright boy, your Sirius. He told me that he and his friends tried to Transfigure a desk. That’s pretty advanced for first-years.”
“They botched it up. It grew legs but the middle didn’t change.”
“But to attempt it at all- and get as far as they got- that’s at least third, if not fourth year magic.”
“Yes. Well.” Arden looked pleased.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“Mmm?”
“This Lupin boy that Sirius is friends with…”
Arden’s face closed. “Yes. The Mudblood in his dorm. There’s something more there. His father was an Auror, but was demoted seven years ago. I believe he works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The mother is worthless.”
“She’s a Muggle, yes. But can I ask you not to make an issue out of this friendship?”
I really wish I'd been able to do more with the Alphard-Marilyn interaction. In the non-existent time I have, I should write that. :P
“Sirius is young and impressionable. He needs guidance. He can’t be allowed to think that this sort of thing is acceptable.”
“Well, I’m not saying to tell him to bring the boy roses. But could you turn a blind eye to it? Please?”
“There’s no such thing.”
Alphard sighed. Arden would be as inflexible as the rest of the family, he was sure. It wouldn’t do any good to argue that Sirius needed friends- Arden would simply point out the relationships with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. “All right,” he muttered. He left the subject. If he didn’t, it would be a very long, very miserable Christmas.
***
There was great excitement on Christmas Day- Narcissa arrived suddenly to show off the ring that Lucius had presented her with. The adults were all congratulating them, and already the wedding talk was flying thickly among the women.
“It’s an ideal match,” Arden said to Richard. “You must be proud.”
See? I totally suck with Wizarding names. Also, anyone who thinks Lucius beats Narcissa needs to reread the books. :P
“Extremely.”
Sirius watched the adults, kicking the side of the chair he was sitting on. He desperately wanted to go find something more interesting to do, but his presence was required here, even if no one seemed to be remembering he existed.
“Ugh, this is disgusting, isn’t it?”
Sirius turned as his cousin Andromeda sat down next to him. “Awful,” he agreed.
She lit up a cigarette. He watched her with fascination, and she cocked an eyebrow and offered it to him. He took a drag and choked, coughing on the smoke.
“Better wait a while, Sirius.”
“I guess,” he wheezed. He looked at the couple again. “Are you going to be a bridesmaid?”
“Hope not. He’s a toad. Good looking, I suppose, but he’s an utter prat. They’ll be miserable,” Andromeda said happily.
You know, I think Andromeda probably slept with Lucius at some point. My Andromeda is a total troublemaker, and not always in a good way. Drinking, smoking, if there's wizarding drugs, and yes, she's a slut. And she's bi, although I don't think she ever says it. Although Sirius knows. But it's amazing she wasn't kicked out of Hogwarts.
Sirius eyed the nuzzling, glowing couple. “They sure don’t look it now.”
“Yeah, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”
He thought about Narcissa, and he couldn’t really blame her little sister for not liking her. In fact, given Regulus, he could understand perfectly. “Does he have a little sister?” he asked. We could fix Regulus up with her when the time comes.”
I'm sure I got the Black sister's ages wrong. I so don't care.
Andromeda laughed. “I like the way you think, Sirius.”
***
Sirius was grateful to return to Hogwarts. The house seemed stifling now, and he missed his friends. He couldn’t even escape to play outside- he hadn’t seen Neil or Sid out in the street, and relatives were everywhere.
James was delighted to see him. “Have a good holiday, mate?”
“It was all right. What about you? Get anything good?”
“Yeah. Check this out.” James pulled out a thin, silky cloak and swept hit over himself.
Obligitory mention of the Invisibility Cloak, which never seems to show up in my stuff.
“No way!” Sirius, whose most exciting gift had been a thick book, was intensely jealous.
“Yeah. Dad said now that I’m starting at Hogwarts I can have it.”
Sirius’s eyes lit up. “Put it on again and sit down. Can you imagine Peter and Remus’s reactions?”
***
The first year at Hogwarts drew to a close, and again Sirius didn’t want to leave. At Hogwarts there was life and fun and friends; at home there was silence and darkness and Regulus.
He’d told James about his suspicion that his family practiced Dark magic. James had pressed his lips together angrily, but his final verdict had surprised Sirius.
I really like my explanation that's in Mentors that James's grandparents were killed by Grindelwald. I also really like the idea that he talked about it to Remus or Peter later that night how uncomfortable he was, but not to Sirius.
“They might be Dark wizards, but you’re not, are you?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t have to be just because my parents are, do I?”
“No.” James was unyielding on that point. He looked so pale and angry that Sirius nodded firmly.
“Good. Then I won’t be.”
It had been very simple to say that at the time. It had been even simpler when they found an article in the Daily Prophet about the new addition to the Merlin Library. “’Only purebloods should be allowed into the facility’,” Sirius read outloud. “I can’t believe my uncle Richard said that on record. What a load of rubbish.” He tossed the paper down.
“You’ve come a long way in a year,” Remus observed from the floor, where he was stretched on his stomach and reading.
“No, I just know better than to get between you and a book.” Sirius nudged him with a toe. “If I tried to stop you from getting into that library you’d maim me.” James and Peter laughed, but Remus only smiled.
Argh. Remus the bookworm. The thing is, in some ways that cliché makes so much sense, but only because Remus didn't have friends until he was 11. I hate it when I give into fandom cliches unconsciously. When I wrote this, I'm sure I was not nearly so fed up with Remus the bookworm.
Incidentally, it's not Remus reading that bothers me. It's that in so many fics where he is a bookworm, he tries to blow off his friends to keep reading, or gets annoyed if they interrupt his reading. How do people come to this conclusion? The Remus I know from canon sounded pretty happy to have friends to be a normal kid with. He's not going to blow them off so he can read. Remus the bookworm also tends to lack a spine, and be prone to being smarter than Sirius, who copies off him, and a whole host of other traits that I don't recognize as Remus in canon. My Remus is a compulsive reader, but if anyone suggests doing just about anything else together, he's there. And while I've never named his favorite author, she's a witch that writes mysteries.
Yes, it was easy to say such things at Hogwarts.
It wasn’t so easy at home. It was all well and good to say your parents were Dark wizards and you weren’t ever going to be like them, but Dark wizards were, well, dark. They were the people they were learning to fight in Defense Against the Dark Arts. They mixed up poisons and practiced hexes, cackling all the while. They didn’t pass you the cornflakes at breakfast or fuss over your grades or take you to Madame Malkin’s to get new robes as they complained you’d grown again. And they didn’t sit in the drawing room and talk to you about your future and wonder if you’d be a Ministry Official. Sirius had even suggested that he might be an Auror, just to see how his father would react, but his father had merely nodded and said perhaps.
I really like this whole section here, where Sirius is realizing that evil people do normal things, too.
Dark wizards didn’t let you Floo off for a weekend at the Potters’ with your friends. The Potters’ house was very different from the Black’s, and it drove some of Sirius’s more uncomfortable notions home. He began to realize that cutting the heads off old house elves and mounting them on the wall was not an honor practiced everywhere. He’d never known that people came to the breakfast table in pajamas, or that parents kissed children good night.
But even if Dark wizards would let you go to the Potters’, who were wealthy and influential, surely they wouldn’t let you go to the Pettigrews’, who were neither. He, James, and Peter spent a happy weekend fishing in the stream behind the Pettigrew’s small house, swimming and cooking marshmallows over the fire. The Pettigrews didn’t have a house elf, and for the first time Sirius had to do a chore. It was a surprise, because he’d never really known people lived like that.
Good and evil seemed so black and white in the Gryffindor common room. It was much more complicated at home. He still had to sneak outside- his summer ballgames with Neil and the others had resumed. But his father didn’t loom over him demanding that Sirius kill anyone, and his mother didn’t make him practice his hexes (although he did, on Regulus), so Sirius dismissed the whole thing the best he could.
And, that wrapped up quite quickly, huh? Much shorter than an AIL chapter! (And rather expository at the end, but….
gehayi asked so nicely, Deny Thy Father was the first full-length fic I will admit to writing, I think. (I can't remember if the Psychotic Wench came before or after.) I wrote it over on Immeritus, which I no longer post at because my computer hates their new format. Originally, I had written an entry for the "Sirius Black is Mine" contest under Remus's name, which was fun, and I only did at
wickedevra's prompting. One of the lines was about how one of the only times Remus had ever seen Sirius cry was when he ran away from home, and wickedevra again lured me into making that line a full-fledged fic. I retaliated by turning her into a Remus/Sirius shipper. Hehehe. Anyway, that's how Deny Thy Father was born.It's interesting for me to reread this, because I wrote this about two years ago. I didn't use a beta, and I didn't use a Brit picker (that one REALLY shows.) But hey, all the better- we can all laugh together!
I would also like to point out that Chapter 1 of Deny Thy Father is 11 pages in Word, single spaced, 10 pt TNR font. That's half the length of an AIL chapter. I talk a lot.
A small black-haired child ran across the courtyard under his mother’s watchful eye. The sun streaked through the clouds, dancing off the fallen leaves of red and gold and glancing over the child’s determined face. Without warning, the boy fell, hands skidding forward on the cobblestones as he attempted to catch himself and a startled shout of pain and surprise escaped him. His mother swooped down to investigate the damage.
“Not a tear out of you,” she said proudly, tapping the little boy’s knees with her wand. He choked back the snuffle he’d been about to indulge in and managed an impudent grin instead. She kissed him on the forehead.
“You’ll make a fine Black yet, Sirius.”
***
The bundle was small and squalling. It stunk and it made way too much noise and his mother was fascinated with it. Sirius couldn’t understand why. All that stupid baby did was eat, cry, and sleep, and require never-ending changes of clothing and constant fussing.
His father, who had no patience with a single sob from three and a half-year old Sirius, tolerated the baby’s wailing. His mother, who constantly told him to be a little man, cuddled the new arrival to her, cooing.
Sirius felt distinctly put out.
No parent came in the night to tell him he was still loved, or explain that babies required a different kind of care. No one reassured the boy that he still had a place, or held him close and kissed his cheek as they did for the baby.
But when Sirius turned up one morning fully dressed with no help at all, his hair neatly brushed and holding himself perfectly erect, his father nodded approval and his mother smiled. He pulled his mother’s chair out that night at dinner, like he’d seen his father do so many times. He was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. Sirius got the message loud and clear- it was time to grow up.
When I wrote this, we had no idea of how much younger than Sirius Regulus was. As I went on further in AIL, I began to realize I had made him a bit too young. But there was this scene, and I just couldn't believe Sirius would remember any of this if he was 2 or so.
I also didn't want his parents to be EVIL right off the bat. If Sirius had always hated his parents, I can't believe he'd be so bitter about them in OotP. That's why, actually, I made him closer to his mother than his father. He's very "whatever" about his father in OotP- it makes me believe he buried that ghost a long time ago. His mother and his brother, however, I think are still wounds that need healing.
***
There were children in the street, playing some sort of ball game. Sirius watched them wistfully. They dressed differently than he did, in jeans and t-shirts, but other than that they looked pretty normal and they were his age. They would be more fun than anyone else in this house, anyway- certainly better than his parents or his tutor. He opened the door.
“Where are you going?”
Sirius turned around to glare at his five year old brother. “Outside.”
“You’re not s’posed to.”
“Says who?”
“Father.”
“Father’s not here right now. Besides, I’m not going far.”
“I’m gonna tell.”
“Fine, prat. Tell.” Sirius stepped out and slammed the door behind him.
Hehe. I love Regulus. I really do. He's such a whiny Momma's boy.
Because of the wards his father had placed on the house, the children didn’t see Sirius until he was standing right by them. The tallest boy looked at him in surprise.
Argh. Wards. So non-canon. And yet, they've infiltrated my brain.
In some ways, I don't mind them. To me, wards are Charms (or hexes or whatever) that a person places on an object that have a long-lasting effect. But there are more Potter-ish ways to say that. I don't recall ever seeing any mention of wards in the books, but I have a nasty tendency to use them. (I use them here, and I use them in AIL on the Lupin's house. Do I get any forgiveness for them not really figuring into the plot?
"Where did you come from? And what are you wearing? Is that a dress?”
I cannot imagine that young Sirius was allowed to wander around in Muggle clothing. At all.
“No, it’s a robe. Could I have a go?” Sirius glanced at the bat the boy was holding.
“What, a nancy-boy like you, playing a real man’s game?” the boy scoffed, and the other boys laughed. Sirius just shrugged. “All right then,” the boy agreed, tossing Sirius the bad. “Take a whack. Oi! Sid! Toss one up!”
Sirius had never played, but he’d watched the boys often enough from the window. As the ball came he swung and with a loud crack the ball went flying.
The boys were left looking at him with a new respect. “Blimey,” the tall boy said. “Where’d you learn to hit like that?”
Sirius just strikes me (and I think canonically so) as someone who is good at almost everything he touches. I think the boys are supposed to be playing cricket here. It's definitely not baseball- I knew THAT much!
Sirius didn’t really know how to answer.
“What’s your name?”
“Sirius Black.”
“Never heard of you. I’m Neil, and that’s Sid, Colm, John, and Dave.”
“Hi.”
“How come we’ve never seen you at school?” Sid asked.
“I have a tutor. Lots of people do, don’t they?”
“Only if you’re rich,” Dave said. He was looking at Sirius’s robes. “You are, aren’t you?”
Sirius shrugged again.
“Are you –royal-? Like the nobles?”
“I… don’t know. We’re pureblood, if that’s what you mean.”
This was an exchange I was pretty proud of. I thought it came out sounding like boys, but got the point across that Sirius had no idea how privileged he actually was. My thought is that the Blacks were so insular, Sirius rarely had occasion to compare his life with that of other people.
One of the boys whistled. “Well, Sir Sirius, want to join us? Teams of three?”
“All right.”
They played for another hour. Sirius was quick to pick up the rules of the game, and Neil was very helpful in explaining the fine points. He was enjoying himself very much when a strong hand caught his collar.
“Sirius Black!” his father shouted, yanking hard. “You come with me right now, young man. You are in very deep trouble!”
With a sinking stomach and a worried glance at his new friends, Sirius obeyed.
His father was silent as he dragged his eldest into the house, but his fury was so great it was nearly palatable. Sirius shivered. He’d never been in this much trouble before. But then, he’d never so directly disobeyed an order before, either.
“Did you find him?” Sirius’s mother hurried into the room. “Oh, thank heavens. Sirius, you’re filthy! Where were you?”
You know- and this is a recurring thing that I'm sure will keep coming up- I was never happy with the voice I got for Sirius's mother. She just didn't seem to come out right to me. I don't believe she was always like her portrait, but I do believe she was more stiff and formal than how I write her. It just never came out right.
Of course, maybe if I'd known her name was Walburga instead of Elizabeth…..
“He was outside,” his father answered before Sirius could say a word. “Playing with Muggles.”
All traces of his mother’s concern dropped, and her eyes flashed angrily. “Muggles?” she said, her face screwed up as if she’d just eaten something sour. “Sirius, you know better than that. What were you thinking? You’re father has told you time and time again not to go outside!”
“I wanted to play with them,” Sirius explained. “They were playing ball and I-“
“I don’t care. How could you be so thoughtless? There is a very good reason your father makes the rules he does, Sirius! A Black, playing in the street with Muggles! The shame of it!”
Okay, that one sounds like her. But I think that's the exception rather than the norm. :P
“It was just a game of ball!”
“No it wasn’t, Sirius!” his father spoke now. “Contact with Muggles is dangerous- it is a breech of security in the wizarding world!”
Can you tell I suck at the random capitalization?
“I didn’t tell them-“
“It doesn’t matter. They are sneaky, treacherous, and not to be trusted, Sirius! I cannot impress this upon you enough!”
Privately Sirius thought that these words didn’t seem to apply to Neil, who’d been so nice and helped him understand the game. But he had the sense to keep his mouth shut as his father continued to rage at him.
“You’re confined to your room for the next week, Sirius,” he finally finished.
“Yes, sir.”
“And you will never speak to those boys again.”
Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but his father’s hand was posed to strike.
“Yes, sir.”
Oooh. I'm a little surprised I put that in there- the fact that his father was about to hit him. The idea was that Sirius's father rarely hit him until Sirius got to Hogwarts, when it began to increase. Because I made Mr. Black an Unspeakable, I had this theory that he had some magic that started tampering with his brain, rather than going for the whole inbred = crazy theory (which is probably more likely). Then again, the Blacks were probably of the spanking school, and this was a major transgression on Sirius's part.
***
“I’m worried about Sirius,” his mother said late that night.
His father didn’t look up from his reading. “He has to learn, Elizabeth.”
Wouldn't you rather be named Elizabeth?
“No, no. I didn’t think you were too hard on him. You were right. But he is lonely.”
“He’ll be in school in a few years.”
“Yes, but that’s a long time for a boy his age, Arden.”
He put down the parchment he’d been studying. “What are you trying to suggest?”
“Couldn’t we have some of the other families bring their sons over?”
“No one worth knowing lives close enough. You know that. There’s no one around here. At least, not with boys his age or close.”
“I guess.” She sighed.
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “It’s only for three more years.”
As mentioned, I like the idea that Sirius and his mother used to love each other. It makes it so much more plausible that they'd despise each other after.
***
His father had forbidden contact with Muggles, but that didn’t stop Sirius from watching out the window. It wasn’t fair. Neil and Sid and the others were really nice- and lots more fun than stupid Regulus who could only tattle.
Sirius wanted to obey. He wanted to be like his father- respected and successful, rich and very powerful. He wanted his father’s approval and his mother to smile proudly when she looked at him. But as he opened the window he could hear the boys calling to each other, and more than anything Sirius wanted to join them.
There was an apple tree by his window- an old, gnarled structure that bore wooden-tasting fruit in the autumn. The branches were sturdy and strong… and far too conveniently placed.
Within moments, Sirius was free.
Hee. This was one of those moments that I have no doubt is canon. (Modest, aren't I?) But I can totally see young Sirius sneaking out for some reason.
***
“Do you always have to wear those robes?” Neil asked a week later.
Sirius shrugged. “Don’t own anything else.”
“Royal people are weird,” Neil said with a wrinkled nose. The boys hadn’t been able to sort it out, but with Sirius’s strange attire, insistence that he was a pureblood, and regal and cold father, he had to be royal.
“I have a few old shirts that are too small for me,” Sid suggested. “And an old pair of jeans. You’d have to roll them up, but you could borrow them for games.”
Like a ten year old boy is gonna know that really? Or think of it? It would have been more in character for Sid just to give Sirius his own clothing.
“Really? Thanks!”
Sid was true to his word, and the next day he brought some old castoffs for Sirius to wear. When Sirius got them home he did check them over carefully, but there were no pins waiting to jab into him or razor blades to dying to cut his skin. They were just clothes.
Someone on Immeritus rightfully pointed out that Sirius wouldn't look for razor blades or Muggle traps, but magic stuff. Oops.
He realized that they were also a disguise. The night he was out a little too late his father did not recognize him, because there was no way the son of Arden Black could be playing in the street in Muggle clothing. It simply wasn’t possible.
And without realizing it, Sirius granted himself a small measure of freedom.
***
“Boarding school!” Neil exclaimed.
“Yeah. I leave September first.” Sirius bounced the ball back and forth on his knees.
“Your family must be really posh to send you to boarding school,” Sid declared.
“Will it be awful?” Colm asked.
“Nah- it will be great.” And Sirius meant it. But even as he said it he could feel the gap widening between him and the others. It was sad, but part of Sirius just mentally shrugged. They WERE Muggles, after all, and now he’d finally be around others his age from his world- people he could really be friends with. Once he had wizarding friends, he’d be fine.
I have this belief that young Sirius never really gave a lot of thought to other people. I'll talk more about it later on, but here he never really thinks about his impact on these boys. And to be fair, they probably missed him for a few days and then life went on. But still, I liked this bit because you can see Sirius's inherent sense of aristocracy, but just by the fact he has been playing with them you can see he doesn't really believe it, either.
***
“I can’t believe you’re starting Hogwarts,” his mother said, checking over his packing. There must be mothers saying that all over Britain, Sirius realized. He sat down on the bed and sighed.
His mother noticed. “What is it?”
He fidgeted.
“Are you excited?”
“Yes, but…”
“Well?”
He looked up at her, distinctly uncomfortable. “Mother… is it okay to say I’ll miss you?”
Sniffle.
His mother smiled. “It’s fine, Sirius.” In a rare gesture she reached out and ruffled his silky black hair, and then smoothed it back into place again. “Now. Behave yourself while you’re there, understand? You’re representing the Black family now.”
He received a similar speech from his father over breakfast, but much longer and with a few threats; threats that Sirius was well accustomed to hearing and quite bored with. He kept wondering what Hogwarts would be like, what his roommates would be like, and most importantly, what it would be like to be around other wizards his age. By the time his father said that it was time to go to King’s Cross, Sirius was ready to jump out of his skin.
Realistically, I think Sirius's mother would have made threats too.
Part of the problem I actually had with Sirius's mother is "Deny Thy Father" jumped out at me as a title so quickly, and it really shaped how I thought about the fic. If you look at it, the fathers are all the stronger characters (in terms of development) in this fic, with the possible exception of Mrs. Lupin, who is a grown-up Mary Sue to an extent. Well, not Mary Sue. But I did everything in my power to make you love her. Yes, I'm totally mean. But because of the title, I focused more on the father/son relations. I sort of regret that, because it's Mrs. Black we see in canon. But hey.
They took brooms, leaving Regulus behind in the care of the house elf. It made Sirius feel very grown up to be out with just his parents, headed to school. He was beside himself with excitement, but with his father’s stern eye on him he was able to contain it.
Notice how rarely house-elves end up in my stories. I hate writing them. Their speech patterns annoy the living daylights out of me.
The platform was crowded with families waiting for the train. Sirius had no idea that so many wizarding families existed. He caught the eye of another black-haired boy and grinned. The boy smiled back, pushing his glasses up his nose.
CLICHÉ! CLICHÉ! I really wish I hadn't had them meet on the train. I like to break fanon conventions and cliches, and this one is one where I gave in.
I can see both scenarios- James and Sirius being instant soul mates, or James and Sirius despising each other at first. I went for the first because by second year they were all close enough to do the Animagus thing, and because I wanted to focus on Sirius's relationship with his family. (In this fic, I was actually pretty good at trimming away anything that didn't focus on that or lead to that goal.) And meeting on the train (or before it) is easy. Get to the good stuff type easy. Hey- at least it was just James and Sirius.
His mother noticed the direction of Sirius’s glance and nodded. “Excellent, Sirius,” she said, her voice radiating approval. She nudged his father and indicated the family. His father nodded in an identical manner to his mother, and approached the boy’s father.
“Timothy Potter, am I correct?” he said with an extended hand.
The man, who looked very much like his young son, started and then took Mr. Black’s hand. “Yes, indeed, I’m afraid so,” he said with a good-natured grin. “You’re Arden Black, right? Pleasure to meet you.” They shook. “This is my wife, Amelia.” The mother inclined her head towards Mr. Black, but her warm smile reached Sirius and his mother. “And this is our son, James,” Mr. Potter was saying. “He’s a first year this year.”
I suck at coming up with Wizarding names.
“So is Sirius.” His father’s hand was on his back, pressing him forward. “And this is my wife, Elizabeth. I saw your article in the Prophet the other day. Fascinating as always. But have you considered the implications of your stance?”
Apparently James's father as a writer is a popular characterization. If I'd known that, I might have done something different.
“Of course. I-“
James’s eyes met Sirius’s, and he rolled them. Sirius smirked, and with his hands made the little “talk talk talk” motion that kids stuck in the line of fire of grownup conversation make everywhere. James pulled a face, and Sirius puffed his chest out and scowled in an excellent imitation of his father. James stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing.
I do like that little moment though!
They hadn’t even left the train station, and already Sirius had a friend.
***
“GRYFFINDOR!”
Sirius was surprised. He’d been expecting Slytherin. But one House was the same as another, he supposed, and he slipped off the stool and headed towards the Gryffindor table.
“Congratulations, mate,” said the red-headed boy he sat down next to. “I’m Tom Weasley. I’m one of the prefects.”
Weasley… biggest bunch of blood traitors… a little voice whispered in Sirius’s head. But he ignored it. “I’m Sirius Black,” he said, unnecessarily.
Tom Weasley is meant to be Arthur's cousin. He was supposed to be a bit more of a character- sort of like a big brother to Sirius- but he never actually fleshed out. Oh well.
“Of course,” Tom laughed, and Sirius blushed. He smiled uncomfortably and turned back to the Sorting.
A pretty girl with read hair was the next to be sorted into Gryffindor. “Is she a Weasley?” Sirius asked Tom over the applause.
“Hey now! Just because we’re a big family doesn’t mean every redhead in Britain is related to us!” Tom laughed. “No, she’s not. Not that I know of, anyway. They said her last name was Evans.”
“Oh.” Two more girls were sorted into Gryffindor, and then finally a boy. Sirius perked up, eager to see his new roommate. He was a small, skinny boy with shaggy brown hair and if Sirius had heard correctly was called Remus. He gave the new arrival a quick smile and then focused on James. He really hoped James would be a Gryffindor, too.
Pet peeve: I hate when Sirius and Remus see each other and instantly know there's something special there. First of all, they're eleven. That creeps me out. Second, you just don't always know. I knew my husband a year before I was attracted to him. I am not a big believer in love at first sight.
For reference, Remus was sitting with Snape on the train. One of my favorite theories was that Remus and Snape met on the train, and sort of hit it off in an awkward sort of way. Snape, who was just as lonely as Remus, really thought that he'd found someone who might be a friend. However, since they were both rather socially awkward, Remus didn't pick up the same vibe, and when he was Sorted into Gryffindor and Snape was Sorted into Slytherin, he didn't think much of it. James, Peter, and Sirius adopted Remus pretty quick, and also made fun of Snape. While Remus wouldn't join in, he also didn't exactly break away and hang out with Snape, either. The reason Snape started hating MWPP was he felt like they'd stolen his first friend and turned him against him.
Of course, he'd never admit that now.
A boy named Peter Pettigrew was now sitting on the stool. It seemed like he was sitting there a long time- Sirius had been a quick decision and the hat had barely touched Remus’s head. Finally, the hat pronounced Peter a Gryffindor and he scurried over. James would be next. Sirius crossed his fingers and held his breath.
Obviously, the Hat was debating Slytherin and Gryffindor. I wonder which Houses the Hat was debating for Neville?
“James Potter!”
James stepped forward, put on the hat, and sat on the stool.
It was almost as quick as it had been for Sirius. “GRYFFINDOR!”
Sirius let out a cheer with the others. James hurried over and sat down next to him, and Sirius gave him a high-five. His chest relaxed and he felt like he could breathe again- he hadn’t realized he’d been so tense.
“We’re getting a lot of girls this year.” Tom, sitting next to him, was still watching the Sorting. “You’re going to be some very lucky blokes!”
Hehe. Two bad I write two of them as gay. The girls never get identities in this, except for Emily Fairchild and Tina Lovegood. One of the things that always makes me think is that Lily didn't choose one of her friends for godmother. Now, it's completely possible that Lily's best friends are dead by that point, or that she and James discussed it and they decided on Sirius. But my gut instinct is that Lily, while popular, didn't have the really tight bonds that James had with the MWPP crew.
Just four blokes, it turned out, and seven girls were in Gryffindor this year once the last student had been called. “Glad that’s over,” Sirius said as Dumbledore announced the feast could begin. “I’m starving!”
“Me too,” Tom said. “So what house were you expecting, Sirius?”
Like I said, I suck with the random capitalization. :P
“Huh? Me? How’d you know I was expecting anything?”
“You should have seen your face when the hat said you were in Gryffindor!”
“Oh. Well, Slytherin, to be honest. All of my family’s been in Slytherin, I think, except my cousin Andromeda- she was a Hufflepuff.”
Guess not. Oh well. I like the idea that Andromeda was a Hufflepuff. Especially since I made her cool.
“I kind of thought I might be Slytherin too,” James admitted, and then shrugged good naturedly. “But my dad was a Gryffindor and my mother was a Ravenclaw. What about you, Peter?”
“I thought I was Hufflepuff for sure. We haven’t met, have we?” Peter said, holding his hand out to Sirius. “I’m Peter Pettigrew.”
I'm figuring Peter's whole family was Hufflepuff, because they so would have fit there. I like Peter's family. As in, I like them as people (they're kind of flat as characters, because they don't get much screen time).
“Sirius Black.” Sirius grinned at him.
“What about you?” James prodded Remus, who was quietly pushing around a pile of mashed potatoes. The boy jumped. He was pale and looked downright frightened, Sirius realized. How silly. Wasn’t Gryffindor supposed to be for the brave?
I'm figuring that Remus is nervous here. Not shy, just nervous. I'm also wondering how close it is to the full moon. But Remus has never been around this many kids before, and certainly not kids like Sirius and James and Peter, who are all striking him as so confident. I don't like timid Remus, but hey- everyone gets nervous.
“I guess I thought I’d be a Ravenclaw,” Remus was saying quietly. “Dad was, and Mum certainly would have been if she’d gone to Hogwarts.”
“Where’d your Mum go?” Sirius asked. “Beauxbatons or Durmstrong?”
“No place. Well, no place magical. She’s not a witch,” Remus answered, still stirring the potatoes.
“You’re a Mudblood?” Sirius said with surprise. The entire table fell quiet immediately. It was that loaded, angry sort of silence that clearly shouts that you’ve said something wrong. “What?”
Oh, Sirius. You're so clueless! And you never totally change on that front, do you?
Remus’s eyes had narrowed to small slits. “What did you call me?” he asked.
See? Nervous- not shy. Since Remus and Sirius aren't friends at this point, I don't see where Remus would have any trouble standing up to Sirius. Remus will give in easily to his friends, but other than that he is perfectly capable of standing up for himself.
“A Mudblood. It’s a name for someone whose parents aren’t magic, isn’t it?” Sirius asked. “That’s what my father says.”
James struggled to compose himself. “It is, but only if you really want to insult the person. The rest of us just call them Muggleborns.”
My James can be clueless at times, but he's really rather intuitive… when he listens to his intuition. I think James is the first person here to catch on that Sirius really didn't know Mudblood was an insult.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Tom was softening. “Are you really this clueless?”
“I… guess.” Sirius looked around at the angry faces. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
***
He caught Remus Lupin on the way up to the Gryffindor tower. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said, with no preamble. “I really didn’t know it was a bad word. My father never calls Muggleborns anything else. Really.”
Because Sirius is nothing if not direct. Love that about him.
Remus turned to face him and sighed. “Did it ever, just once, occur to you that calling someone something that has ‘mud’ in it might not be, well, nice?”
Now that he said it, Sirius felt stupid. “Oh. Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never met a Muggleborn before.”
Remus sighed again, resigned. “S’okay. I’ve never met a pureblood before, to be honest.” He gave a shy smile. “And technically I’m a half-blood. Quite literally. My Dad is a wizard.”
“Oh.” Sirius thought about this. It was something he knew existed, but was looked down on with great suspicion. By his father, at least, that little voice said. “So what’s it like living with a Muggle?”
Remus shrugged. “What’s it like not living with a Muggle?”
Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but before he could James and Peter ran up and grabbed them. “Run,” James commanded.
“Run?”
“Run! James set off a dungbomb!”
Behind them there was a loud bang. James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus ran.
And they begin.
One thing I had a very, very hard time doing was writing the MWPP crowd as bullies. The first year it's sort of silly, mind you. I don't think four 11 year olds would be able to bully too many people without getting squashed to a pulp. I think the bullying came later (except for a few select cases, like Snape). I justify it in this by saying that Sirius never thought much about what he was doing, which is likely conveniently true. The truth is I have a hard time writing bullies. So I was unimaginative and went with a dungbomb.
***
The large tawny owl dropped a letter on Sirius’s plate at breakfast. “Would it kill you to miss the eggs?" he shouted as the bird winged off.
He picked it up, wiped it off, and opened it, recognizing his mother’s elegant script immediately.
Sirius,
I’m so glad to hear you are settling into Hogwarts. I must confess I was shocked to hear you were sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin, but I am certain you will do the House of Black proud regardless.
It is quiet without you here, but Regulus keeps us going. He is doing extremely well with his studies, and will be starting multiplication and division with Professor Mathes…
Me here. I do accept it was a shock for Sirius's parents (and for Sirius himself) that he wasn't Sorted into Slytherin. But I have a hard time believing that's where the trouble began, because it's so superficial. The Hat is, in its way, very one-dimensional, which I think is something JKR is trying to show. Sirius would have fit very well into any of the four Houses. He's obviously ambitious (youngest Animagus ever, with James and Peter), obviously intelligent, and obviously loyal. But even with the younger generation- Harry could have been Slytherin, Ron has Hufflepuff written all over him, and Hermione is a natural fit for Ravenclaw. So I don't think Sirius's parents would have freaked out about him being Sorted into Gryffindor. They might not have been thrilled, but I doubt that was what brought down the house.
Now, those qualities in Sirius that led to him being a Gryffindor rather than a Slytherin….
She went on about Regulus’s lessons and activities for several paragraphs. Sirius wrinkled his nose and scanned impatiently. Who cared what the little twit was doing? Ah, there. She was done.
I am very pleased to hear you have become friends with James Potter. Your father comments on it every time he sees one of Tim’s articles in the Daily Prophet. He says that Tim is an impractical idealist, but he and his wife are very respectable people. Your father also says the Pettigrews are a decent family. Not quite our class, of course, but they are purebloods. Peter should be an acceptable friend for you.
I must caution you about this Remus Lupin, however. Your father investigated his background. As you know, Headmaster Dumbledore is not as discerning about certain students as he should be. The Lupin boy may not have told you, but he is most assuredly a Mudblood. I realize you can not avoid him as you are in the same House, but be aware that he is not to be trusted and is not worthy of your notice.
Good luck with your studies, and write again soon.
Mother
Sirius made a face, scowling at the last paragraph.
“I don’t think it notices.” The subject of said paragraph sat down across from him. “And anyway, what did that poor parchment ever do to you?”
“Letter from home,” Sirius explained.
“Oh. Bad news?”
For a brief moment Sirius considered telling Remus what his mother had said. But he didn’t want to. It had taken long enough for Remus to say more than please or thank you to Sirius after the Mudblood incident. “Just a load of rubbish about my brother,” he said, not lying. “Who cares what the little monster is up to?”
Remus smiled, but the smile seemed off. Before Sirius could analyze it, Remus asked, “Is he really that bad?”
Obviously, the monster comment hit home. I'm so subtle sometimes. :P
“He’s bloody awful. Whining, complaining, tattling Momma’s boy.”
Remus grinned again, but this time for real. “Hello, James. We were just talking about you.”
Heee. I LOVE it when Remus insults one of the others like that.
Sirius whirled to see his best friend standing behind him. He relaxed as he saw the grin on James’s face.
“Yeah, who else could you be talking about with such a glowing review?” James asked. “What’s up?”
“Sirius just got a letter from home, detailing the exploits of one Regulus Black.” Remus tore a croissant into thirds and managed to shove an entire third into his mouth. “He failed to be fascinated by said descriptions,” he said around the mouthful of pastry.
“My mother would have you called up on the carpet for your table manners,” Sirius said, watching with a disgusted fascination.
“Yeah, it drives Mum nuts too, but I’m in a hurry. I have to finish that essay for Transfiguration.”
Because teenaged boys seem to forget table manners until they decide they want to impress girls and we aren't amazed by watching them masticate their meal.
“What?” James exclaimed. “It’s not due for two more days!”
“Yeah, but I have etiquette lessons tomorrow night,” Remus quipped, cramming the rest of the croissant into his mouth and scooping up his books. “See ya.”
***
“Do you think Remus can be trusted?” Sirius whispered to James three days later.
“Not in Potions class, no. Isn’t the solution supposed to be blue?”
I tend to prefer the version where Remus is an average student in Potions. He says he as never much of a Potion brewer, and he's not really up to the Wolfsbane. However, he almost sounds like he would make it if he could when he says that. But it also seems like Potions is a pretty exact science, and one little mistake could really alter your potion.
Sirius looked over to where Peter and Remus were working. Their orange concoction was spitting venomously, unlike the serene blue liquid he was stirring. “Seriously, though. I mean, where was he last night?”
“You heard him,” James said with a grin. “Etiquette class!”
“Not with the way he ate lunch!”
“So he spilled some soup on you. Get over it already. Maybe the hospital wing- he doesn’t look so good today.” James snickered. “Etiquette classes must really take a lot out of a person.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but James was right. Remus looked exhausted, almost as if he were sick. But he hadn’t said a word about where he’d been when pressed, and if he’d been sick surely he would have told them?
“So do you think he’s trustworthy?” Sirius decided to return to the subject at hand.
“Why do you keep asking that? What are you planning on doing? Storming the castle? Dueling Snape and looking for a second? Leaving piles of galleons out in the bedroom?”
Poor Sirius is so out of touch with the world in a way.
“No, I…” It was a good question. What DID he expect Remus to do? “It’s just Mother. She says I shouldn’t trust him because he’s a Mud- er, half-blood.”
“No offense, Sirius, but your mother needs to get her head out of her arse.”
Sirius blinked at James blankly. He had no idea what to say to that.
How about "Amen"? Although to be fair, you don't insult someone's parents.
***
The snow was falling thickly when the Hogwarts Express pulled into King’s Cross station. “Finally!” James said, stretching. “We’re here.” He elbowed Remus, who was asleep beside him. Remus muttered something, but didn’t wake up.
You know, I'm not sure why I put them all on the train. Probably because it makes sense. I mean, when the kids go home for holidays in the books, they take other means of transport. But if you can do that, why take the train at the beginning and end of the year?
And for that matter, what if you aren't coming from somewhere around London? What if you live in Scotland? Or Hogsmeade? Do you go down to London, get on the train, and then go right back up to Hogwarts?
“I don’t get it,” Peter whispered.
“What?” Sirius was gathering together the gobstones they’d been playing with.
“Remus went home two days ago to visit his mum, right? Because she was sick? Why didn’t he just stay with the holidays so close?”
Sirius and James exchanged glances, eyebrows raised. It was a really good point.
Before they could discuss it further, the train lurched to a stop. Sirius and James grabbed their bags, Peter shook Remus awake, and the four of them stumbled off the train.
The platform was crowded with parents, and they had to stand on their toes to see. James’s parents found them first.
“James!” Amelia Potter attacked her son and smothered him in an embrace. His father was right behind.
“Mom- ger’off!” James was struggling to free himself.
Sirius laughed. “Have a good holiday, James!” The three pushed a little further.
Next to Sirius, Remus started. “Oh- there’s my dad. See you guys later! Merry Christmas!” Before Sirius or Peter could answer, he slipped through the crowd, met immediately by a man that wrapped an arm around his shoulders and took his bag. Sirius watched them for a moment, then Peter cried out.
“Are your parents here?” Sirius asked.
“They must be! Here come my sisters!” Peter waved eagerly at two little girls who were weaving through the people. They both launched themselves at their older brother, hugging him tightly.
I really do love Peter's sisters. They're cute!
“Peter!” one of the girls shrieked. “We missed you!”
Peter’s face was flushed pink with pleasure. “I missed you too. Where are Mam and Da?”
“Back there. C’mon.”
They wormed through, towards a couple that were standing waiting. The woman was small, plump and smiling, and the man beside her had a cheerful-looking face. And next to them was the object of Sirius’s own quest: Arden and Elizabeth Black.
They looked different to him. Perhaps it was because they were standing next to the Pettigrews. They looked taller, more regal. Sirius was very aware that his parents’ robes were very fine quality, and the heavy silver chain that hung at his mother’s neck looked out of place next to Mrs. Pettigrew’s more casual dress. His father had been talking to Mr. Pettigrew in low undertones, but as they boys approached they broke off their conversation. His father nodded, but his mother smiled and lifted her hand in greeting.
“Mother.” Sirius finally made it to them, and kissed his mother on the cheek formally. Beside him, Peter was hugging his father tightly. Sirius turned his eyes back to his own father, and extended his hand. “Father.”
Subtle I am not. See how I scream "SIRIUS WANTS A FAMILY LIKE THAT!" Actually, for me, this is still pretty good on that front.
Arden Black smiled with approval, and clapped his oldest son on the shoulder. Sirius’s heart soared. He straightened with pride, and was rewarded with his mother’s hand on his other shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
***
“They seem like decent people, the Pettigrews,” his father said as they entered the house. After the months of activity at Hogwarts and the noise of the station, the big house seemed overwhelmingly quiet to Sirius. “Not our class socially, of course,” his father was saying, “but they have their priorities straight. What’s Peter like?”
How many times did I repeat that? Sheesh. But right there I'm dropping that first hint about Peter. The Pettigrews have their priorities straight according to an adult Black. The Pettigrews are wonderful people, but there's a worm in the apple, so to speak.
“He’s great,” Sirius said idly. “Not the best at lessons and all, but he’s a load of fun.” He was looking around the foyer.
I really hope this never got interpreted as "I don't like Peter", as it's intended to be "I'm bored with this conversation."
One of the classes they were required to take at school was called Defense Against the Dark Arts. It had never really occurred to Sirius until now that some of the magic his family practiced might be considered Dark. In fact, he realized, he knew very little about what his father actually did, only that he was important in the Ministry.
“We’ll have a full house for Christmas,” his mother said, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. “Elladora and Richard are bringing Bellatrix and Andromeda, but I think Narcissa is going to be with the Malfoys this year. Your grandmother Prewett will be here, as well as your great uncle Alphard. You’ll have to sleep on the floor in Regulus’s room.”
Yes, this was written before the Black family tree was released.
I have debated going back and revising DTF and AIL to include the proper names of the Black parents. Opinions? It would be a simple matter of Search and Replace.
“What?”
“Well, we need the beds.”
“Why doesn’t he sleep on the floor in my room?”
Heh. I'm totally siding with Sirius here. I used to get kicked out of my room and put into my sister's when we had that much company. I think because my room was bigger and closer to the bathroom, realistically.
“Don’t argue with your mother, Sirius.”
“Regulus is a growing boy. He needs good sleep.”
“So do I,” Sirius muttered, but at a stern glance from his father he added, “Sorry.”
His mother sighed and shook her head. “Just behave, Sirius. The last thing I need over the holiday is to cope with some teenaged issues. You might as well put your things into Regulus’s room now. Alphard will be here tonight.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sirius said, but it lacked the normal submission. He did his best not to stomp off.
Unlike Remus in AIL, who stomps around the house frequently. Teenagers are so much fun to write.
Regulus was in his room. “You can have that bit,” he said, gesturing imperiously to a quarter of the room. “Don’t put your clothes on my side, or I’ll tell.”
“Tattle tale.”
“Idiot.”
“Prat.”
“Berk.”
“Wanker.”
Pre-HBP, I was convinced Regulus wasn't going to be important, so I wrote him as a bratty little brother. In HBP, I was gloriously, wonderfully proved wrong. (Seriously. That note was my absolute favorite part of the book. God, I LOVE Regulus!) However, I'm glad I started writing Regulus this way, because I really, really, really like my incarnation of him in Accidentally In Love, and I might have been tempted to go more noble if I'd known then what I know now. And that would have been a shame, because my Regulus kind of says that prats can be heroes, too.
Regulus didn’t respond, and Sirius turned away, happy to have the last word. Then, “You’re going to be in so much trouble.”
“Why? I haven’t done anything.”
“Mother says you have a Mudblood friend.”
“There’s a half-blood in my dormitory, yes. So?” Sirius demanded, but his stomach twisted guiltily even as he said it.
“Mother says Father’s going to be furious when he finds out.”
“I can’t control who Dumbledore lets into Hogwarts. And besides, Father already knows.”
“Oh.”
“Ha!” Thoroughly annoyed, Sirius grabbed his school bag and left the room.
Heee. Take away the ammo!
He spent the afternoon in the library, intending to work on his homework. But he got distracted and spent most of the afternoon curled in a chair, reading a book he’d found on his father’s shelves. It was not an easy book: the words were long and the sentences were complicated, and Sirius wondered how much of it he really understood. If he understood it right, it didn’t seem like the author had thought things through. But it had been published, right? It must be good.
Because Sirius is intelligent, people. EXTREMELY intelligent.
“Sirius?”
He started up, noticing that it was quite late in the afternoon. “Hello, Father.”
“Uncle Alphard is here.”
“Oh. All right.” Sirius marked his place and put the book down. His father noticed.
“Ah. He picked the book up, flashing the title. Purebloods: the Nobility of the Wizarding World. He turned it over in his hands. “This is an advanced book for you, Sirius.” But his tone was admiring, not disapproving.
“It’s not that hard. I have a question about it though.”
“I’ll be happy to answer.”
“The author says that pure-blood marriages are the only way to ensure the survival of the wizarding race. But won’t we eventually run out of purebloods to marry?”
His father shook his head. “Not at all. Come here, son.” He extended an arm and Sirius obeyed. “See this tapestry? It represents our family tree. It starts with a very few people, but look how it’s branched here at the bottom. As purebloods marry and have children, they multiply.”
Pureblood genetics make my head hurt.
“Yes, but I couldn’t marry a lot of them,” Sirius pointed out. “I couldn’t marry Narcissa or Bellatrix, or even Molly or Maria.”
“No. But you could marry Tessa or Valentine,” his father said. “Anyone from…” he pointed to a spot, “here on out is acceptable. And, of course, other pureblood families have trees like this too.” He chuckled. “You aren’t thinking of getting married already, are you?”
If I'd written this post tree, I would have had fun having Sirius note that Orion had married his second cousin. Which really does explain so much. (Along with the fact that her name is Walburga. Sorry- I just can't get over that!)
Sirius smiled up at him. “No, I was just reading and-“
“Well, like I said, it IS an advanced book for you. But I am very pleased to see you taking an interest in the subject.” His father studied him. “We’ll talk much more about this aspect in a few years. You don’t even have to think about it until you’re over seventeen. Then we’ll find you the right girl.”
“Whatever,” Sirius shrugged. The concept of marriage and romance as applied to him was not remotely interesting. He wanted to ask more questions in order to prolong this rare, grownup moment when his father talked to him like… well, like what? Not an equal, but… Unbidden, he remembered Peter hugging his father, and Remus’s father putting his arm around him and taking his bag. “What about Squibs?” he asked his father, trying to banish those thoughts. “They can be born into pureblood families, right?”
I remember writing a fanfic in Pern where a girl had an arranged marriage, and simply didn't care. She accepted it because that was exactly what her society did. That's kind of how I was thinking Sirius here. Sirius doesn't really react because he's always known his marriage would be semi-arranged, and he accepts it at this point. Plus, he's 11.
“It’s sad, and it’s rare, but yes. It- oh, Elizabeth.”
“There you are.” Sirius’s mother had been standing in the doorway.
“We were just having a little chat,” Sirius’s father said. “Sirius decided to do some extra reading.” He held up the book, and Sirius’s mother brightened.
“Very good. But I thought I should let you know Alphard is here.” She ushered the man in.
Great uncle Alphard had always been one of Sirius’s favorite relations. A confirmed bachelor, Alphard traveled all over curse-breaking for Gringotts. Last time he had visited Sirius had been nine, and Alphard had brought him the most wonderful finger puzzle from China. But when his great uncle entered the room, Sirius was shocked at the change in him.
How could someone age so much in two years? Alphard had always looked young for his age, but now he looked like it had caught up with him overnight. He was thinner than Sirius remembered, and looked tired and worn. However, he did smile at his great nephew.
Gee. I wonder why he looks so tired?
This is one of my favorite characterizations, and one I not-so-secretly would catch on. I get tired of the Alphard-left-Sirius-his-money-because-they-were-both-Gryffindors thing, because I just don't put that much stock into Houses mattering after Hogwarts. (Can you tell I never went Greek?) I also can't remember- was it even clear that Alphard was dead when he gave Sirius the money? I think it is- I MUST have checked that- but I don't remember. But I wanted something more. Something more of a connection, something that showed that Sirius stood out from the Blacks more than him being Sorted into Gryffindor did. The werewolf thing was a bolt from the blue and I nearly turned cartwheels when I thought of it. (I'm assuming, if you are actually reading this, you know that Alphard is a werewolf in my universe.) Like I said, I really wish it would catch on a bit, but I understand why it doesn't. It's a little more distinct than other characterizations- I think most people recognize that's one I did first. (To my knowledge, I did it first, anyway.
I would love to know what JKR thinks, though. I'd love to know her reaction to that. Probably "You need to get a life", but hey.
“Well, well, well. Look at you. Grown and a Hogwarts student now from what I hear.”
“Yes, sir.” Sirius smiled back at him something that approached impudence.
“I also hear you’ve committed the terrible crime of being sorted into Gryffindor. Good for you!”
“Alphard, don’t encourage the boy.”
“Nonsense! Gryffindor is a fine house! I should know!”
“Were you a Gryffindor?” Sirius asked eagerly.
“Indeed I was. And still am, at heart. We’ll have to have a long talk later, you and I. Gryffindor secrets,” he explained, winking at a disapproving Arden.
They did talk, much later that night. Sirius enjoyed the man-to-man way Alphard addressed him, the privilege of staying up late, and the watered down glass of firewhiskey his uncle permitted him to drink.
“So tell me about your friends,” Alphard said, after he’d told Sirius the secrets of the tower and how to get into the kitchens. “What are they like?”
Somebody has to pass this sort of info down!
“Well, there’s James Potter.”
“Potter? As in Timothy Potter’s son?”
“Yes.”
Alphard whistled through his teeth. “I read his stuff. Boy, is he good. He could convince a dragon not to breathe fire, the way he writes.”
“Father says he’s idealistic?”
“Yes, perhaps. Perhaps not. I think he and Arden are going to see very differently on issues in the future,” Alphard mused. “What’s James like?”
I'm not sure what Alphard is really thinking here. I think, because of his affliction, Alphard is a little more objective than Sirius's father.
“He’s great!” Sirius said enthusiastically. “He’s really bright, and he’s a load of fun, and he comes up with the best ideas.”
“Ideas? For what?”
Oops. “Erm…”
“Pranks?”
ARGH. I hate, hate, hate that word. I'm not sure why. I just do. But I used it anyway. And I suck at coming up with them, which is why they never showed up. Which is fine. Too distracting from the main storyline anyway.
“I guess you could say that?”
Alphard smiled. “So tell me about them!”
“Well, there was this one time we turned Snivellus Snape’s desk into a giant spider. Well, we tried to, anyway, but it didn’t come out right. And then we set off fireworks during Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall-“
“Minerva?” Alphard hooted with laughter. “She was in my year at Hogwarts! I would have loved to have seen her face! How much detention did she give you?”
Unrequited Minerva/Alphard is one of my favorite prove me wrong dammit! ships in the HP universe. Although it can't top
shaggydogstail's Sirius/Stubby.“None, amazingly. Our friend Remus Lupin talked us out of that one.”
Alphard stilled. “Remus Lupin?”
“Yeah. There’s four of us- the other one is Peter Pettigrew.”
“You’re friends with Remus Lupin?”
“Yeah,” Sirius replied, the hackles starting to rise. “I know he’s a half-blood and all…”
Alphard shook his head, and then snapped back together. “Stay friends with him, Sirius.”
“What? Mother and Father keep telling me to drop him.”
“Sometimes, there are things that are more important than blood. Stay friends with him.”
Since Sirius had been planning on doing so anyway, it was very easy to agree.
I really wonder how many people picked up there werewolf thing here. I don't consider myself near as tricksy as JKR, even if I think I'm pretty decent at plot and twists.
***
After Sirius went to bed, Alphard sought out his nephew. “You’re going to have your hands full with that one,” he laughed.
Nephew-in-law. Oops.
“Yes,” Arden sighed. “We’ve already had a few owls about him and James. Apparently they’ve spent some time in detention. You shouldn’t encourage him, Alphard.”
“I should. He’s a bright boy, your Sirius. He told me that he and his friends tried to Transfigure a desk. That’s pretty advanced for first-years.”
“They botched it up. It grew legs but the middle didn’t change.”
“But to attempt it at all- and get as far as they got- that’s at least third, if not fourth year magic.”
“Yes. Well.” Arden looked pleased.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“Mmm?”
“This Lupin boy that Sirius is friends with…”
Arden’s face closed. “Yes. The Mudblood in his dorm. There’s something more there. His father was an Auror, but was demoted seven years ago. I believe he works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The mother is worthless.”
“She’s a Muggle, yes. But can I ask you not to make an issue out of this friendship?”
I really wish I'd been able to do more with the Alphard-Marilyn interaction. In the non-existent time I have, I should write that. :P
“Sirius is young and impressionable. He needs guidance. He can’t be allowed to think that this sort of thing is acceptable.”
“Well, I’m not saying to tell him to bring the boy roses. But could you turn a blind eye to it? Please?”
“There’s no such thing.”
Alphard sighed. Arden would be as inflexible as the rest of the family, he was sure. It wouldn’t do any good to argue that Sirius needed friends- Arden would simply point out the relationships with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. “All right,” he muttered. He left the subject. If he didn’t, it would be a very long, very miserable Christmas.
***
There was great excitement on Christmas Day- Narcissa arrived suddenly to show off the ring that Lucius had presented her with. The adults were all congratulating them, and already the wedding talk was flying thickly among the women.
“It’s an ideal match,” Arden said to Richard. “You must be proud.”
See? I totally suck with Wizarding names. Also, anyone who thinks Lucius beats Narcissa needs to reread the books. :P
“Extremely.”
Sirius watched the adults, kicking the side of the chair he was sitting on. He desperately wanted to go find something more interesting to do, but his presence was required here, even if no one seemed to be remembering he existed.
“Ugh, this is disgusting, isn’t it?”
Sirius turned as his cousin Andromeda sat down next to him. “Awful,” he agreed.
She lit up a cigarette. He watched her with fascination, and she cocked an eyebrow and offered it to him. He took a drag and choked, coughing on the smoke.
“Better wait a while, Sirius.”
“I guess,” he wheezed. He looked at the couple again. “Are you going to be a bridesmaid?”
“Hope not. He’s a toad. Good looking, I suppose, but he’s an utter prat. They’ll be miserable,” Andromeda said happily.
You know, I think Andromeda probably slept with Lucius at some point. My Andromeda is a total troublemaker, and not always in a good way. Drinking, smoking, if there's wizarding drugs, and yes, she's a slut. And she's bi, although I don't think she ever says it. Although Sirius knows. But it's amazing she wasn't kicked out of Hogwarts.
Sirius eyed the nuzzling, glowing couple. “They sure don’t look it now.”
“Yeah, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”
He thought about Narcissa, and he couldn’t really blame her little sister for not liking her. In fact, given Regulus, he could understand perfectly. “Does he have a little sister?” he asked. We could fix Regulus up with her when the time comes.”
I'm sure I got the Black sister's ages wrong. I so don't care.
Andromeda laughed. “I like the way you think, Sirius.”
***
Sirius was grateful to return to Hogwarts. The house seemed stifling now, and he missed his friends. He couldn’t even escape to play outside- he hadn’t seen Neil or Sid out in the street, and relatives were everywhere.
James was delighted to see him. “Have a good holiday, mate?”
“It was all right. What about you? Get anything good?”
“Yeah. Check this out.” James pulled out a thin, silky cloak and swept hit over himself.
Obligitory mention of the Invisibility Cloak, which never seems to show up in my stuff.
“No way!” Sirius, whose most exciting gift had been a thick book, was intensely jealous.
“Yeah. Dad said now that I’m starting at Hogwarts I can have it.”
Sirius’s eyes lit up. “Put it on again and sit down. Can you imagine Peter and Remus’s reactions?”
***
The first year at Hogwarts drew to a close, and again Sirius didn’t want to leave. At Hogwarts there was life and fun and friends; at home there was silence and darkness and Regulus.
He’d told James about his suspicion that his family practiced Dark magic. James had pressed his lips together angrily, but his final verdict had surprised Sirius.
I really like my explanation that's in Mentors that James's grandparents were killed by Grindelwald. I also really like the idea that he talked about it to Remus or Peter later that night how uncomfortable he was, but not to Sirius.
“They might be Dark wizards, but you’re not, are you?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t have to be just because my parents are, do I?”
“No.” James was unyielding on that point. He looked so pale and angry that Sirius nodded firmly.
“Good. Then I won’t be.”
It had been very simple to say that at the time. It had been even simpler when they found an article in the Daily Prophet about the new addition to the Merlin Library. “’Only purebloods should be allowed into the facility’,” Sirius read outloud. “I can’t believe my uncle Richard said that on record. What a load of rubbish.” He tossed the paper down.
“You’ve come a long way in a year,” Remus observed from the floor, where he was stretched on his stomach and reading.
“No, I just know better than to get between you and a book.” Sirius nudged him with a toe. “If I tried to stop you from getting into that library you’d maim me.” James and Peter laughed, but Remus only smiled.
Argh. Remus the bookworm. The thing is, in some ways that cliché makes so much sense, but only because Remus didn't have friends until he was 11. I hate it when I give into fandom cliches unconsciously. When I wrote this, I'm sure I was not nearly so fed up with Remus the bookworm.
Incidentally, it's not Remus reading that bothers me. It's that in so many fics where he is a bookworm, he tries to blow off his friends to keep reading, or gets annoyed if they interrupt his reading. How do people come to this conclusion? The Remus I know from canon sounded pretty happy to have friends to be a normal kid with. He's not going to blow them off so he can read. Remus the bookworm also tends to lack a spine, and be prone to being smarter than Sirius, who copies off him, and a whole host of other traits that I don't recognize as Remus in canon. My Remus is a compulsive reader, but if anyone suggests doing just about anything else together, he's there. And while I've never named his favorite author, she's a witch that writes mysteries.
Yes, it was easy to say such things at Hogwarts.
It wasn’t so easy at home. It was all well and good to say your parents were Dark wizards and you weren’t ever going to be like them, but Dark wizards were, well, dark. They were the people they were learning to fight in Defense Against the Dark Arts. They mixed up poisons and practiced hexes, cackling all the while. They didn’t pass you the cornflakes at breakfast or fuss over your grades or take you to Madame Malkin’s to get new robes as they complained you’d grown again. And they didn’t sit in the drawing room and talk to you about your future and wonder if you’d be a Ministry Official. Sirius had even suggested that he might be an Auror, just to see how his father would react, but his father had merely nodded and said perhaps.
I really like this whole section here, where Sirius is realizing that evil people do normal things, too.
Dark wizards didn’t let you Floo off for a weekend at the Potters’ with your friends. The Potters’ house was very different from the Black’s, and it drove some of Sirius’s more uncomfortable notions home. He began to realize that cutting the heads off old house elves and mounting them on the wall was not an honor practiced everywhere. He’d never known that people came to the breakfast table in pajamas, or that parents kissed children good night.
But even if Dark wizards would let you go to the Potters’, who were wealthy and influential, surely they wouldn’t let you go to the Pettigrews’, who were neither. He, James, and Peter spent a happy weekend fishing in the stream behind the Pettigrew’s small house, swimming and cooking marshmallows over the fire. The Pettigrews didn’t have a house elf, and for the first time Sirius had to do a chore. It was a surprise, because he’d never really known people lived like that.
Good and evil seemed so black and white in the Gryffindor common room. It was much more complicated at home. He still had to sneak outside- his summer ballgames with Neil and the others had resumed. But his father didn’t loom over him demanding that Sirius kill anyone, and his mother didn’t make him practice his hexes (although he did, on Regulus), so Sirius dismissed the whole thing the best he could.
And, that wrapped up quite quickly, huh? Much shorter than an AIL chapter! (And rather expository at the end, but….
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Date: 2006-08-31 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-31 09:12 pm (UTC)Also, this commentary is ace. One of my favourite things about the story is that there are so many carefully considered ideas about canon, the Blacks and Sirius' character development. I like that Sirius initially had a much better relationship with his family, though you can see where the problems are going to come from later. And I've read a lot of 'Sirius wanting to play with Muggle children' fics since this, but this is still my favourite. Because he so would.
I get tired of the Alphard-left-Sirius-his-money-because-they-were-both-Gryffindors thing
One of the many 'great fic ideas I have but never do get around to writing' is one about Uncle Alphard as a true Black (and Slytherin) who left Sirius his money because he felt it was undignified for the heir of the house of Black to have to scrounge off his friends or work for a living. I like the idea of him having a rather sexist, though not wholly inaccurate, notion of Walburga as a silly, hysterical woman who didn't realise that young men need to have adventures and probably drove Sirius away with her shrewish nagging. The notion of Sirius owing at least a part of his freedom to a family member who was as much of a bastard as the rest of them appeals to me immensly.
I have debated going back and revising DTF and AIL to include the proper names of the Black parents. Opinions? It would be a simple matter of Search and Replace.
Much as I adore the fact that Sirius' mother is called Walburga (and I really, really do) I won't bother revising just for that. If you're going to revise, you might as well go the whole hog on canon-compliance, which means putting all the Blacks in Slytherin (and maybe changing some teachers' names?). That'd be a bit more work. If you ever do decide to do it, I can Britpick it for you at the same time if you like.
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Date: 2006-08-31 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-31 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-01 12:01 am (UTC)Hufflepuff. Loyal, kind, hard-working. I never understood why people say Hufflepuffs are loosers, they seem to have the best traits of all four houses. If I didn't love Ravenclaw so much, it'd probably be my favorite house.
I love the commented!chapters. (And I hadn't read that one in SO long!
Don't change the names. It's cool to have the fanon versions of the families's structures, including the names, before the official version was given.
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Date: 2006-09-01 02:56 am (UTC)I like your comments about Remus and reading, as I sort of feel the same way. I've been trying to work on a pre-Hogwarts story for him and it's hard to figure out what a boy on his own does without defaulting him to books. Still struggling a bit on that.
As for the name thing, I'm of two minds. Now that we know their names when I do see others in older fic it makes me pause. So the part of my brain that dislikes small details getting in the way says change it. However, Shaggy has a point about 'why stop there'. If I was reading a fic with the names as we know them now but other current canon wasn't accounted for and, if I didn't know better, I might think something was a bit off with the writer. So I think I come down on the side of leaving them be.
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Date: 2006-09-01 03:50 am (UTC)I am a big fan of your Alphard characterization, especially his lycanthrophy. I also adore the Minerva-Alphard unrequited business. ;)
Also, I truly appreciate the fact that you have Remus and Sirius wait until they've left Hogwarts to have sex. I've never been able to wrap my mind around the idea that then entire student body of Hogwarts was/is running rampant, sexing it up all over the castle.
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Date: 2006-09-01 11:58 am (UTC)I think Sirius being Sorted into Gryffindor being a Big Deal tends to be a bit of a copout- it's got to be so much complicated than that, because families are never easy :P
Glad you enjoyed!
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:01 pm (UTC)I LOVE the idea for your Uncle Alphard. I would love to see that, because I now adore Uncle Alphard and I really like that rationale. That would be awesome.
If you're going to revise, you might as well go the whole hog on canon-compliance, which means putting all the Blacks in Slytherin (and maybe changing some teachers' names?). That'd be a bit more work.
Yeah, probably more work than I want to do! There are some things that would have to be changed, like Regulus's age, which actually plays a part in his character development. (I love the idea he dropped out of school to be a DE.) I could change DTF, or I could write more of AIL.... But thank you for the offer!
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:02 pm (UTC)And I should get back to AIL one of these days, too. :P (I wrote myself into a bit of a corner, and I'm really having a hard time getting them out of it.)
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:03 pm (UTC)I'm thinking I won't change the names. As Shaggy pointed out, then I should really change everything else that's not canon compliant, and ugh. :P
Thanks! :)
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:06 pm (UTC)It is so hard to find something else for Remus to do, isn't it? Especially since he's sort of written as a sickly child type. I don't really mind the idea of Remus reading- it's the characterization that then so often results from it that drives me up a wall. (Plus, I get tired of him reading Muggle literature, although I make him do it every now and then. But Regulus was my Ayn Rand reader. Hehe.)
That's a good point about how if I just changed the names it would look like I wrote the fic later, and look wierd, whereas if they're still off, it's obvious I wrote it before we had that bit of info. And like I said to Shaggy, I COULD do it, but it's edit DTF or write AIL, and I think writing AIL is much more fun for everyone :)
Thanks!
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:08 pm (UTC)I'm with you, and that's exactly why I had them wait. I just can't get my mind around it. I mean, being caught kissing and even groping is one thing. Being caught having sex (especially if you're a m/m couple in the seventies...) that's another. And with roommates, portraits who can tattle, ghosts who can walk through walls, and a Headmaster who seems to know EVERYTHING... I just can't make it work on a frequent basis. (I'm sure some kids manage to. Heck, Peter and Tina did. But they were a m/f couple in their seventh year.)
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:35 pm (UTC)actually plays a part in his character development. (I love the idea he dropped out of school to be a DE.)
Actually, you were probably right on that anyway, at least if the tree is accurate. It says he died in '79, which if he was born in '61 would put him either at the end of his 7th year (or dying shortly thereafter) or in his 6th year into 7th.
All of which is a moot point as, yes, writing is more fun than going back and editing old stuff. ;)
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-01 12:39 pm (UTC)That is the crux, isn't it? How to do fanon without making it the stuff that makes you itch. One of these days I'll hit the right tone. In the meanwhile, I do have papers to write that will get me in trouble if I don't finish them.
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Date: 2006-09-01 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-01 01:26 pm (UTC)Well, not exactly -- two people to a room is standard, not five. (There were a few triples at my college, although I think this was the result of overcrowding rather than design; there were also a few blocks of two-bedroom apartments with a kitchen and living room, to be shared by four people, which came with sofas and gave people a little more flexibility.) Anyway, it was considered polite -- among girls, at any rate -- to give your roommate some advance notice if you were planning to have overnight guests.
On the other hand, we didn't have those fancy canopy beds like they've got at Hogwarts, and I imagine the curtains would give you some privacy :)
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Date: 2006-09-01 03:44 pm (UTC)I'd love to read your DVD commentary on AIL Chapter 2. Where can I find that?
AIL is my all time favorite and I can't wait until Chapter 12 is posted.
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Date: 2006-09-02 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 06:49 pm (UTC)I love this quite a bit. I notice that you pay a lot more attention to interviews and things like the Black family tree than I did when I was writing fanfic. I take it that the BFT mentions that Mrs. Black's name is actually Walburga? I much prefer Elizabeth. (And I still like my name for Mrs. Black--Lavinia. Lavinia means "pure.") Why did you name Arden Black "Arden," though?
I'm also glad to see that my Regulus isn't the only one who was far too young in early stories, and that your Andromeda wasn't in Slytherin either. (Mine was a Ravenclaw, and the oldest sister. Ted and Tonks, however, were Hufflepuffs.)
I'm figuring that Remus is nervous here. Not shy, just nervous. I'm also wondering how close it is to the full moon.
According to Full Moons 1900-2100, the full moon for September 1971 fell on the fifth. So Remus has about four more days before he transforms. I'd be surprised if he weren't nervous, poor boy.
I love James patiently explaining that calling someone a Mudblood is insulting, and Remus being a messy eater, and Peter having sisters who love him. And I adore little Sirius playing cricket, and trying to understand that people he loves can nevertheless do very bad things.
Excellent, excellent work. Thank you.
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Date: 2006-09-07 08:29 pm (UTC)Sorry it took me so long to answer- I kept forgetting to search for the commentary. Commentary on AIL 2 is here. (http://lupinslittlesis.livejournal.com/50796.html) (That's the only chapter I've done it for.)
And 12 will be along someday. If I can get the boys to stop fighting. :P
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Date: 2006-09-08 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-08 02:10 pm (UTC)I sort of pay attention to the interviews. I don't take them as gospel, because JKR is only human and sometimes she gets details mixed up or changes them or whatever. I don't even consider the tree canon, because it was a draft- who knows what's changed in her head since? But yeah, it does say that her name was Walburga, which I guess explains a lot. (And Orion for Sirius's father, which I hate.) I like Lavinia best of all the proposed names for Sirius's mother though- that's a good one.
I chose Arden because I'd just reread "My Sweet Audrina" at the time, and Arden was one of the characters, so the name was at the forefront of my head. :)
Glad you're enjoying it!