DVD 2

[lls_mutant]

“Why can’t we go outside?” James asked again, sounding utterly bored and frustrated.

Sirius couldn’t blame him. The winter sky was a brilliant bright blue, and snow covered the ground. From the window they could see Neil and the others running and shouting to each other. “We’re just not allowed,” Sirius explained heavily.

“Regulus goes out into the courtyard,” James pointed out. “And you said you used to climb down an apple tree to get out.”

“The apple tree’s not there anymore. Father had it removed after last Christmas.” Sirius turned away from the window and examined the fabric of the couch intently. “And Regulus is allowed out to the courtyard because he was never caught playing with Muggles. I was. I can’t do it, James. I’m not allowed.”

“Since when have –you- cared about what’s allowed?” James sulked. “Let’s just open up the front door and go!”

“No!” For some reason, Sirius was shaking. “C’mon James. We go back to Hogwarts day after tomorrow. We’ll just wait….” He felt James’s eyes on him, but didn’t look up to meet them.

“All right, Sirius,” James finally relented. “If it’s that important.”

I think it's a sign of how desperately Sirius is seeking approval- and how scared he is of his father- that he actually says no to James. And you know, everyone always says Sirius can't say no to James, which I agree with, but I think the opposite is true, too- James can't say no to Sirius. That's why Sirius wins here. James can't say no- and actually recognizes why he shouldn't.

“It is.”

James sighed wistfully and then turned to look back out the window. “Hey,” he said, excited. “There’s someone coming.”

Sirius looked, and smiled widely. “That’s my cousin Andromeda,” he said, jumping off the sofa. “You’ll like her- she’s the best.” He sprinted to the front door.

“Oh, good grief Sirius! You’ve grown almost a foot!” was the first thing Andromeda said when he opened the door.

“You look different too,” he observed as he let her and her companion in. She did. She looked softer, somehow. Her eyes weren’t so darkly lined like they’d been last time he’d seen her, and her smile was different too. And… Sirius sniffed again to be sure… she didn’t smell like smoke.

“Sirius, this is Ted,” Andromeda said, gesturing to the man beside her. Sirius liked him immediately. For some reason, Ted reminded him of Remus. It wasn’t a physical resemblance: Ted was a tall, well built, blonde with bright blue eyes and freckles. But there was an air of quiet responsibility about him, and something Sirius immediately interpreted as sheer niceness. He smiled, receiving a tentative smile in response.

I like Ted, too, even though he rarely appears. But I figured it would take someone pretty cool and good to tame my version of Andromeda.

James, on the other hand, made a gurgling noise beside him, and Sirius was alarmed to see him gaping. He elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Nice to meet you,” he said to Ted. “This is my friend, James Potter.”

This is one of my favorite little touches- James's crush on Andromeda. Heh.

“Thought that’s who you might be,” Andromeda said with a smug smile at James. “Nice to finally meet you in the flesh, after all that Sirius talks about you. Are the other two around?”

“Um… er….”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “No. Remus and Peter are with their families. James’s parents were away for the holidays.”

“Too bad. Well, I’d love to stand here and chat, but I suspect that’s not a good idea. Are Arden and Elizabeth in?”

“Yes. They’re in the drawing room with Uncle Alphard.”

“Oh goodie. I can burn all my bridges at once.” She reached out and ruffled Sirius’s hair affectionately. “You’re too good for them,” she said softly. “Remember that.” She glanced at Ted and he squeezed her hand. “Well, Sirius, show us to the drawing room. Might as well round up your little brother too. I’ll knock ‘em all down at once.”

Sirius nodded and led the way. “You never told me your cousin was gorgeous!” James hissed in his ear.

Sirius shrugged. “She’s my cousin,” he responded. “Cousins aren’t gorgeous.” He knocked on the door of Regulus’s room. “You’re wanted in the drawing room,” he called.

Snerk. Obviously, Sirius needs to look at his tree better.

The door opened, and Regulus glared at hum. His gaze eventually widened to include Andromeda. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Very gracious,” Sirius complimented.

“Father says she’s in deep trouble,” Regulus told Sirius as if Andromeda wasn’t standing right there. “She’s been running around with a Mudblood.”

Sirius hadn’t heard that tidbit. His head snapped back to Ted. Ted shrugged, not in confusion or denial but in admission, and again Sirius thought it was very similar to a gesture Remus often made. Oh. Well, that explained it.

“Well, come on,” he said gruffly. “Drawing room.”

Regulus swept ahead of them. James walked beside Sirius, oddly quiet. Andromeda and Ted followed. When he glanced behind him, Sirius saw that Andromeda was pale and Ted was holding her hand. The feeling of foreboding darkened.

“Hello, Mother, Father.” Regulus had opened the door to the drawing room. “We have a guest.”

Elizabeth, Arden, and Alphard stood at their entry. Arden’s faced hardened immediately.

“You!” he spat.

“Well, well, well. Merry Christmas to you, too, Uncle Arden,” Andromeda said. Her voice had a hard edge to it, and Sirius was now sure the world was about to explode. “Ted, shall I introduce you around? This is my noble pureblood Uncle Arden, who is Head of the Department of Mysteries. Next to him is my lovely Aunt Elizabeth, also a pureblood, his faithful and likeminded wife. That’s great uncle Alphard, who is usually quite reasonable but yes, is looking furious with me. Oh dear, I suppose I’ve gone too far. This twerp over here is the pureblooded Regulus, the hope and future of the Black family. Always pure, the Black family, although they’re fancier and call it Toujours Pur. And you’ve met Sirius, who has a shot at being decent, if this family doesn’t bring him down.”

I sort of wish I'd expanded this scene a little. I've never been overly happy with the actual confrontation, but I'm not sure what I don't like about it.

Ted bowed formally. “Very pleasant to meet you all.”

No one smiled or extended a hand.

“I’m sure my dearest parents have already contacted you with my good news. No?” Andromeda asked as Arden shook his head. “Well, then, I’d love for you to all meet my husband Theodore Tonks, also known as Ted.”

“Husband!” Arden interrupted.

“Yes,” Andromeda said, drawing herself up to her full height. “Husband.”

“You little hussy!” Arden raised his hand to hit her but Ted pulled her back behind him.

“I wouldn’t try that, Mr. Black,” he said quite pleasantly, catching Arden’s arm. “Not a hand on Andromeda, or you’ll live to regret it.”

Wands, Liss. They all have wands.

“How dare you! The likes of you threatening me!”

Next to Sirius, James made a small noise and backed against the wall. Sirius looked at his mother, silently begging her to say something. But her face was as hard and unyielding as his father’s.

“Hussy!” his father was ranting. “You little slut! He’s a filthy, unwashed, untrustworthy, scum of a Mudblood! You are a Black! What are you thinking?”

I so suck at insults.

“I’m thinking that I’m in love, and Ted is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Andromeda,” Alphard spoke quietly, but Sirius’s heart sank to see the displeasure in his beloved uncle’s eyes. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Actually, I did,” Andromeda replied with forced cheerfulness. “For one, I’m not you, Uncle Alphard. I’m not willing to hide my greatest happiness for the rest of my life. And two, let’s just say I –did- have to get married.” She winked at him, and then grinned at Sirius.

Andromeda is the only one who knows that Alphard is gay at this point. Just a very, very quick reference that none of the Blacks picked up on.

“No you didn’t,” Elizabeth said in a flat, angry voice, understanding perfectly well. “There are other options.”

Now THIS is Sirius's mother. Telling Andromeda she should get an abortion because it's a half-blood child. And the flat way she says it is just… yes. This is Sirius's mother.

“Maybe for you, Aunt Elizabeth. Not for me, or for Ted.”

“So you’ll ruin your life because of this?”

“Hardly. I’m twenty two. I have a good job at Madame Malkin’s, Ted has an even better one managing the Wimborne Wasps. We’ll be fine.”

“But he’s a Mudblood, Andromeda. An unnatural freak. And your child will be too! Get rid of it, get rid of him, and think for once about your duty and your family!”

“I AM thinking about my family! I am now a wife and I will soon be a mother!” Andromeda grinned, but the expression was wild and unhinged. “Just think, another Black to add to the family tree.” She gestured at the tapestry.

I'm not sure I believe the whole "madness in the Black family genes" thing, but I'm not sure I don't, either. Andromeda seems to be fitting into it though!

“No!” Arden shouted. “That… that THING you carry will never be a Black!”

“We were thinking about names,” Andromeda continued. “I quite like Arden for a boy, and perhaps Elizabeth for a girl."

I'm betting Nymphadora is wishing her mother had gone with Elizabeth.

This time Arden struck, but Ted was right there. He caught Arden’s arm and twisted it, shoving him away. “That’s your second warning,” he said. “Next time, it breaks.”

Oooh, here's a rationalization for lack of magic on Ted's part: he's a rebel in certain ways himself, and he is deliberately flaunting his Muggle heritage. How's THAT for on-the-fly symbolism?

“You filthy-“ Arden broke into a stream of bad language. Sirius was afraid he’d attack Ted again, but Alphard stepped in and restrained his nephew.

“I think you should get out of this house, Andromeda,” Elizabeth said coldly. “Take your Mudblood husband and get out. You are no longer a member of the House of Black.” With that she pointed her wand at the family tapestry. A jet of red light shot from her wand, burning a small black hole where Andromeda’s name used to be. Sirius wanted to cry out, but no sound would leave his throat.

Andromeda’s eyes fixed for one moment on the hole in the tapestry, and then she shook herself. “I suspected as much,” she said. She looked at Alphard, but his eyes would not meet hers. “Well then. Happy Christmas to the House of Black from the Tonks family. Have a nice life.” With Ted’s arm around her shoulders, they left.

“Wait!” Sirius’s voice was working again, but it was a strangled cry. “Andromeda, wait!” He started after her.

Arden grabbed his arm, and Sirius heard his father’s stern, angry voice as if across a great distance, forbidding him to leave. He turned and pushed him away with all his might. His father’s eyes widened with surprise as he fell back, and his mother flew to his father’s side. Sirius didn’t care, he was free and running… down the steps and out the front door and into the street when he finally saw them.

“Andromeda! Ted! Wait! Please!”

Andromeda turned around, wiping tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Sirius,” she said softly.

“Wait. Please.” Sirius stopped in front of them, panting. “I just wanted to say… I mean… I have to-“

“It’s no use arguing, Sirius,” Andromeda said. “It’s done.”

“No! It’s not that! It’s just… I wanted to say congratulations.” Sirius was choking on the words. “To both of you. I want you to be happy and the baby to be happy, and I like Ted he reminds me of my friend and…” he dashed impatiently at his eyes, aware that the was opening and his father was coming towards them. "And I want to know when the baby's born and I hope I see it and….”

Andromeda hugged him. “I’ll write to you,” she whispered. “Once we’re settled, I’ll write. I told you that you were too good for this family. Good luck, Sirius. I love you.”

I really liked that section there, where Sirius runs after them and congratulates them and his words all fall over each other because his mouth can't keep up with his brain. I also really liked that Sirius saw someone else do what he was eventually going to do. Heavy on the foreshadowing, perhaps, but I don't care.

Sirius nodded, too choked to say the words he’d never had the chance to say back, and watched them leave together. A hand grabbed his arm, as Sirius had known it would. The force made him spin around, and his father backfisted him across the mouth, hard, splitting his lip and releasing hot blood.

“In the house!” he roared. “Now!’

He couldn’t run, there was no place to go. He couldn’t fight, his father would win. He obeyed because no better option presented itself, and when he entered the house he was hardly surprised at the second blow.

He waited for the third, but it never came. Only a low growling, and his father’s cursing. He opened his eyes to see Alphard pinning his father into a hold. “Go up to the drawing room,” he told Sirius. “Your mother wants to see you.”

He obeyed again, grateful to his great uncle. When he entered the drawling room, his mother was alone. He’d expected her to be angry and yelling. She was not.

She was crying.

In his thirteen years, Sirius had never seen either of his parents cry.

Is mother reached out as he came in, pulling him into an embrace and burying her face in his shoulder. She whispered a charm and the flow of blood ceased. She wept into his hair. She held him close and cradled him. She hadn’t been this affectionate with him since he’d been a small child… before Regulus came.

I think, already, Sirius's mother is very, very scared that the same thing is going to happen to Sirius.

Finally she released him. “Go to bed tonight, Sirius,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Let your father calm down. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

He wanted to stay with her, but he knew it was an order, no matter how gently phrased. “Yes, ma’am.” He turned to leave.

“Sirius?” his mother called as he reached the door. He turned back hopefully. “Tell James I’m sorry he had to see this.”

And his heart fell. “Yes Mother.” He closed the door behind him.

James. He didn’t want to face him; didn’t know what to say. But there was no avoiding it as he opened the door to his room.

James was sitting on the camp bed, legs crossed, an open book resting on them. “Look here,” he said as Sirius entered. “I think I found something that clears up the question we had about the Altering Spell we have to cast for the Animagus transformation.” He patted the spot next to him and Sirius sat. “See? It’s a more complicated version of a Switching Spell. So if we start by learning that, and that’s just fourth year stuff, we could do that in our sleep, we’ll have a good basis for the Altering spell.” He handed Sirius an ice pack without comment. It was bitterly cold, but it felt like heaven when Sirius raised it to his cheek.

“We can master a Switching Spell,” Sirius agreed. “Probably in three days.”

James dropped an arm around Sirius’s shoulders and pulled him close in a brief, tight half embrace. “Three days? I’ll bet we can get it tomorrow, good as we are. Especially if we start tonight.”

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love James.

***

They spent the entire next day working on the Switching Spell, except for when Sirius was called to speak with his parents. The conversation went very much as he expected. Long explanations about why Andromeda was wrong, and what her decision had meant. They were calm and clinical, but the words were still filled with hate and fear in Sirius’s ears. He wanted to ask what was so wrong with it. He wanted to ask how his parents could be so furious when it was obvious Ted was good for her. Yes, Andromeda HAD been trouble. She smoked, she drank, and from that birds-and-the-bees conversation Sirius was quite sure Ted had not been her only partner, and more than that, males hadn’t been her only partners. And she hadn’t been happy. Couldn’t people see that? But with Ted she was, and she wasn’t drinking and she wasn’t smoking and she was settling down, like everyone had implored her to do. But he didn’t quite have the guts to say it.

Then the long speeches about how they were concerned about him. That half-blood roommate. Those weren’t the words they used, but Sirius blocked the real ones out in his mind. His concern for Andromeda. The detentions, the defiance he was showing at school, the trouble, the disdain for Regulus… they didn’t want him to end up like Andromeda, casting off his family and alone in the world, all for some ridiculous principle he’d regret in the end.

Worry. Concern. Family. Duty. Pride. Nobility. His place. It should make him feel better, like it used to.

But they never once apologized. And they never said the word love. And this time, Sirius was aware of it.

I think one of my strengths is closing lines, in scenes or in fics. I don't always nail them, but I think that time I did.

***

“I wish we knew the charm to get rid of the bruises,” Sirius whispered to James as they entered King’s Cross. This time there had been no lunch at the Leaky Cauldron, and his father had dropped them off at the front of the station, leaving quickly as if he were embarrassed.

“Yeah, well, if anyone asks, I slugged you,” James answered carelessly.

“Not fair. You know I’d kick your arse, not the other way around.”

“You wish. Hey- there’s Remus.” James waved eagerly.

“Is his father with him?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.”

“Here they come,” James said. “Oi! Remus! Happy New Year!” he shouted, jumping up and down, his relief at returning to Hogwarts utterly undisguised right now.

Sirius ducked his head as the Lupins approached. “Happy New Year,” he heard Remus say to James. His voice sounded secure and happy. “Hey Sirius. How was your holiday?”

Despite himself, Sirius looked up. He heard Mr. Lupin draw in a sharp breath, and grinned feebly at him. “James and I had a go at each other over the break,” he said, oddly ashamed for this man to see his face this way. Mr. Lupin pressed his lips together tightly.

Remus was looking from one to the other. “James did that to you,” he said, doubtfully. “James.”

“Yes.”

“This James. Skinny Chaser-boy James.”

I refuse to believe in Qudditch-toned muscles. Harry is a skinny little thing at first, and only becomes hot as he grows up. Ron is still tall and gangly. The twins are never described as muscular. No Quidditch-toned muscles in my fics.

“Yes.”

“Bull.” Remus was rummaging through his bag. “Dad, we’ll be right back. Keep Mr. Fistcuffs out of trouble, will you?”

“Remus, where are you-“ but Remus had already grabbed Sirius’s hand and was dragging him towards the loo.

“We’ve got to get that covered,” he was saying. “Or all of Hogwarts will be asking you questions. And am I right that you don’t want questions?”

“Dead on.”

“Thought so.” Remus hitched himself up on a sink and straddled his legs, positioning Sirius so that he was standing between them. “Close your eyes,” he commanded, unscrewing a small tube.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s something Mum gave me. Foundation, she calls it. Makeup.”

“Oh no! Hold up! I’m not putting on makeup like some poofter!”

“You are. It’s not the Muggle stuff. It blends really well and hides bruises, although I doubt that’s what the makers had in mind. It also does a number on scratches. Come on Sirius.” Remus smirked. “I wear it all the time.”

“What?”

Remus laughed. “Sirius, grow up. How do you think I keep everyone from asking questions after a full moon? Bruises are hard to heal, and often not worth the trouble. They’re just blood under the skin, you know.”

I freely admit to torturing Remus, and I tend to let his injuries carry over from wolf to man. However, I also tend to let him be rarely scarred, because people are magic. But I do kind of like the idea that his father can't heal bruises so easily, and while he might be able to promote healing, can't close skin as easily as Madame Pomfrey can.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Anyway, you’ve never noticed me wearing it, right?”

“I guess.” Sirius closed his eyes in submission.

Remus began to smooth the foundation over his face with firm, gentle fingers. “I assume James is up in arms,” he said conversationally.

A little too touchy-feely again, although not as bad as it could be. And yes, done because I like R/S.

“He’s regretting not taking me up on staying at Hogwarts.”

“I’ll bet.” Remus’s fingers were moving gingerly around his mouth. “You don’t have very good Christmases, do you?”

“Guess not.”

Remus didn’t say anything more, just finished his task at hand. “There. Open your eyes.” He leaned over so Sirius could see himself in the mirror.

“Hey, this stuff works pretty good,” Sirius said, surprised. The bruises were completely hidden, and the makeup had adjusted until it matched his skin tone. There was still some swelling and his lip was still noticeably cut, but it wasn’t so frightening now. “Thanks.”

“No problem. It’ll come off when you wash your face tonight, but I’ve got plenty. Feel free to dip into it.”

Sirius snorted. “I’m sharing makeup with my roommate.”

“Yeah, well just stay out of my mascara collection, will you?” Remus cuffed him on the shoulder. Sirius cuffed him back, and then abruptly drew him in for a quick hug of thanks. Remus’s body stiffened at the unfamiliar gesture, but he awkwardly put his arms around Sirius and returned the embrace.

I do think a one-armed hug isn't too bad.

“C’mon,” Remus said as they pulled apart and he slid off the sink. “Let’s go show James your new look.”

***

Despite his bravado, Sirius didn’t much feel like talking for the rest of the trip. He balled his cloak up under his head and feigned sleep.

“Is he out?” James asked Peter.

“I think so.” Peter nudged him lightly. Sirius ignored it. “Yeah. James, did his dad really hit him over break?”

“Yeah, but…”

“You’re not going to say he deserved it, are you?” Peter asked sharply.

“No! It’s just a really complicated thing, y’know? It was weird. His parents really are complete nutters. They’re totally obsessed with this pureblood stuff.”

“We knew that,” Remus said dryly. “It only took us two years to get Sirius to not say the word ‘Mudblood’ at all.”

“What’s his place like?”

“Kind of like you’d expect. I mean, you can tell they’re rich. Really rich. I don’t think Sirius quite knows how rich they are. It’s ridiculous.”

“Sounds nice,” Peter sighed wistfully.

“Yeah, but… it’s dark at the same time. I mean, the place is pretty freaky.”

“Are they definitely Dark Wizards then?” Peter asked.

“Did you ever doubt it?”

“Not really, but…” Sirius could picture Peter shrugging. “Sirius doesn’t seem to be able to say it.”

“Can you blame him?” Remus asked.

“You do,” Peter protested.

“I do what?”

“You say you’re a Dark creature.”

“That’s different,” Remus said sharply. “That’s me. It’s one thing to say things like that about yourself. It’s another thing to say it about the people who are supposed to love you.”

If he didn’t want to hear what was said so badly, Sirius might have sat up and clocked Remus for that remark. It hurt on about eight different levels. He squeezed his eyelids tighter, forcing his breathing to stay calm.

“Well, we found certain proof his parents do practice the Dark Arts. Sirius completely freaked out.”

“Is that when his father hit him?” Peter asked.

“No. I don’t think his parents know he knows. His father hit him… oh man, you should have seen it. His cousin- and you should have seen HER, she’s gorgeous- showed up with her new husband, and the whole family flipped. Sirius ran outside after her- he’s not supposed to go outside and he knows it- and that’s when his father belted him.”

Sirius waited for Remus to contribute his bit of knowledge, that his father had punished him last year for playing with Muggles outside. But Remus stayed quiet.

“I mean,” James continued after that awkward silence, “he knew he was breaking the rules, and big-time, too. My dad’s walloped me a few times when I deserved it. And it was really tense. Other than that one time, his father never laid a hand on him.”

“Geeze.” Peter shook his head. Remus still didn’t say a word, and when Sirius cracked an eyelid he could see his friend staring out the window. From where he was lying he could see his face- it looked like Remus was crying.

“Yeah. He didn’t run, I guess because he had no place to go,” James was saying. “I just hope that the next time it happens, he knows that he does.”

Sirius’s eyes flew open, and he twisted his head to look at James. James was watching him, completely aware he’d never been asleep at all.

Seriously. James ROCKS.

Comments

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

I agree to a point about the newly gained freedom, but the man had a YEAR before the Shrieking Shack. Surely he could have managed a bath? But yeah- I do agree he was living for and through others more than himself.