Could the timing be worse? (and the writing meme)

[lls_mutant]

So I was eating breakfast this morning and flipping through C&EN when I noticed something... an open faculty position at Lasalle University.

Starting in Fall of 2005.

WHY NOW????? I would LOVE to teach at Lasalle! It's nearby, it's a smaller, mainly undergrad university, and the department head knows my current boss, so he might at least LOOK at my resume. I even finish my job in September! But because of the baby... yeah. It's just out. ::Sigh:: I mean, I know they can't refuse you a job on the basis of pregnancy, but let's face it. I am not a strong enough candidate for a teaching job (I have one post-doc under my belt, and no real teaching experience, AND it's a p-chem position, and I'm a fuel scientist) for them not to find a perfectly good, legal, and valid reason to hire someone else over the lady who's going to need 3 months maternity leave three months into the job. Honestly.

Of course, the baby would be born right around finals and all...

No. Reasons why I can not even think about this:

1.) There's a REASON I'm opting to stay home.
2.) I have very few refereed pubs. Do I really think I've got a shot anyway?
3.) First year teaching job = many, many hours to be put in. Hubby is still working 70-80 hour weeks. This is not a good combination with a newborn.

Couldn't they have wanted someone for Fall 2006? ::Sniff::

Anyway. Gakking this from everyone else:

Ask me anything about my stories and/or writing process: inspiration, process, what the hell was I thinking, etc. No limit on questions, just ask away.

And to answer the one I know is coming- I hope sometime next week.

Comments

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Definitely with the job. Just one of those ARRGH! moments! :) (Besides, I wouldn't be able to write if I was starting an academic appointment!)

Really ask yourself (don't just answer politely or PC-ly): Do you write for yourself? Or for the fandom? If you could never post another story, would you still be writing them?

Yes.

Haha. Actually, that's a great question without a simple answer.

I love to write. And I love to write fiction. I got into writing fanfiction ages ago, in a small Zine club for Pern fanfic. That's kind of gone defunct, and my best friend from there and I tried translating our story over to the real world. HUGE project. It's been stalled in editing, and I got sucked into HP fanfic.

In many ways, I write for myself. I write the story because it needs to be told- it needs to get out of me. It's actually very frustrating, because Part 8 of AIL has another EXCELLENT ending spot (part 3 was a great ending spot too), and I can't end it there because I KNOW the rest. I hate that. So I have to write the whole thing, because I can't get much else written until it's done.

But on the other hand, I won't deny that I LOVE positive feedback, and that was one of the things that drew me into fanfic. When we got so stalled in the editing process, we really both started going through that questioning of "am I a good writer?" Writing HP fanfic not only let me -write- again (which is much more fun than editing!), but it also got me something I haven't been able to get from the original stuff, and that's praise. And who doesn't like praise?

I certainly have reviews that mean more to me and are more motivating. Any time I get a review from a writer I respect I read it carefully (especially if they have questions or criticisms!). And certainly any well-thought out review makes me grin longer than "that was great!" And yes, I get a total high on the rare occasions I get someone who I REALLY respect writing a REALLY detailed review, or when I got niffled. And yeah, there's a part of me that is trying to claw my way to the top tier of names in R/S fic, but I think that's because I'm a competitive bitch or I always have to reach the top. I like the challenge of trying to become acknowledged as good. (This explains why I have a black belt and a Ph.D., I think.)

So there's both in your question. I do love to write, and I do have pieces that I will never show anyone, or will show a very limited audience. Not because they're bad- one of the pieces is a piece I wrote right after going to a friends' stillborn baby's funeral. One of the most powerful pieces I've ever written, but it's very personal. But do I really, really, really love feedback and occasionally post something to get it? Pfft. YES. :)

I'll always write, as long as I have the time. Just like I'll always draw. (I'm actually a reasonable artist, but I don't have the time to do it so much, because you need BIG blocks of time.) And I'll always publish in some form. But what I won't do- ever, I hope- is change something in my stories just to make it more acceptable or more along the lines of what fandom is thinking. I know I've broken a lot of R/S cliches (which I admit I have fun doing, and sometimes do just to be contrary, like making Remus the beater as opposed to Sirius), but even if it costs me readers, I'm not deviating from the story -I- want to tell.

Does that make sense? :) Or have I just babbled on as I procrastinate my workout?