AIL 13 Part 2

[lls_mutant]

It was a sign of optimism that Sirius thought that maybe, just maybe, things would return to normal.

He got a few full nights of sleep, and a few nights with Remus that weren't very restful but were certainly very pleasant. There were still dark wizards to hunt and Death Eaters to chase, but there was a sense of normalcy about that. He saw James a few times, frazzled and sleep-deprived. There was a rhythm even to a war-torn life, and Sirius fell back into it, for all of two weeks.

Then James showed up at three o'clock in the morning again, face white and streaked with tears.

Sirius's first thought was that Lily was leaving. It didn't make sense, but not much that James or Lily had said in the past two weeks had made much sense. He eased out of bed, Remus only mumbling in his sleep and turning over to commandeer more of the sheet. "What's wrong?" he asked James as he poured two glasses of whiskey for them. "Is it Lily?"

"No. No, Lily's … fine." James chuckled dryly, running his fingers through his already disordered hair. "Well, she's as fine as I am."

"Harry?"

"In a manner of speaking."

Sirius took a sip, the whiskey burning a path down his throat and waking him up more fully. "Somehow I doubt the problem is that he won't stop crying."

"No." James ran his hand through his hair again and then bolted his whiskey in one neat shot. Sirius raised his eyebrows. For all of James's blustering and bragging, he'd never cared all that much for drinking. Not like this. "I'm not supposed to be here," he said. "Dumbledore told me not to."

"Not again."

"I told Dumbledore to fuck off. Those were my exact words. Fuck off."

Sirius whistled. "Wow. How'd he take that?"

"You know the sad, 'I'm disappointed in you' eyes?"

"The ones that say, 'You'll come to see I'm right in time'?"

"That's them." James poured himself another glass. "I don't care. This time … I know he's not right. And I'll tell you right now, I want you to tell Peter and Remus. I'd tell them myself, but saying it this once … that's hard enough."

"What is it?" Sirius demanded.

"Dumbledore came to visit the other night. Well, not visit. But he … oh fuck. Sirius, how much to you believe in prophecies?"

"Divination? I've always thought it was a bit wooly."

"Yes, but there's Divination and then there's prophecies. Seers. Not like what Peter does, but real, honest-to-God seers."

"I don't know. I never gave it much thought," Sirius admitted.

"Me either. But Dumbledore apparently believes there's some validity to it, and this seer made a prophecy. The kind that makes the Ministry sit up and take notice, the kind that even Dumbledore listens to. And it's about Harry."

"Harry?"

"Well, sort of." James drew out his wand and sketched a rectangle. Slowly, a piece of paper materialized and hung between them, shimmering. Sirius looked at the words written on it in Dumbledore's neat hand:

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...

"Oh," Sirius said, after he'd read it for the fifth time. "Oh, shit."

***

"So what are you going to do?" Peter asked.

The five of them were sitting in the Potter's kitchen, with Harry cradled in a bouncer seat and staring blearily at some dangling toys. The lights cast a warm glow over the table, where the remains of dinner still sat. Aside from the topic of conversation, it could have been a casual night of friendship, food, and booze, like so many nights they'd spent before.

"Nothing, quite yet," Lily sighed. She waved her wand and the toys shifted their order, dancing gently. Harry's eyes followed them. "There's a lot to consider."

"True. I guess the first question is, does Voldemort even know about the prophecy?"

"Yes," James growled, but Lily glared at him at the same time.

"We don't know that," she said.

The other three stared at them inquisitively.

James sighed heavily. "Snivellus," he said.

Sirius's face contorted into a sneer, and Peter groaned. Even Remus regarded Lily and James with worry.

"That's it," Sirius said. "Voldemort knows."

"We don't know that Severus is a Death Eater," Lily said.

James scowled. "Look, Lily. Just because the two of you were Potions buddies and all cozy --"

"Oh, James! Not this again! We were not that cozy!"

"It's relevant!"

"It's not the time or the place for this argument!" Lily snapped, gesturing at the other three, who were all trying not to notice their best friends fighting.

"Regardless," Peter said, recovering first, "someone besides you and Dumbledore knows."

"Who are we kidding?" Sirius demanded. "Snivellus is a Death Eater. He has it written all over him."

"See?" James said.

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Wait, we're getting way off the subject here," Peter said.

"Peter's right. So, Snape knows." Remus looked at Lily. "Can we acknowledge the fact that he might tell Voldemort?"

"I'm fine with that," Lily said, crossing her arms over her breasts. "It's just the automatic assumption that just because someone is greasy he must be a Death Eater."

"It's not just because he's greasy, Lily," James said. "It's because he's been involved in the Dark Arts as long as we've known him. It's because he's called you and half the rest of the school --" his voice dropped to a whisper as he cautiously glanced at Harry -- "Mudbloods."

"He does fit the profile," Peter agreed. "For Harry's sake, you have to consider it."

"Right. Fine."

"So, the possibility that Voldemort knows certainly exists," Remus said. "What else do you have to consider?"

"The fact that Harry's not the only one the prophecy could refer to," James said.

"No?" Peter asked, surprised.

Sirius's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. "Neville Longbottom," he said.

"Exactly. And there might be others we don't know about."

"So?"

James sighed. "Let's say Snivellus told Voldemort about the prophecy, and that Voldemort took it seriously -- which he might not do. Then let's say he evaluates the candidates. There's always the possibility he'll forget about us, or decide it's not us. But if we went into hiding right now …."

"It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull," Remus said.

James blinked at the Muggle reference, but got the point well enough. "Exactly. It draws his attention."

"So I guess right now your only option is to lay low?" Peter asked.

"Not our only option, but our best one. Going into hiding …" Lily shuddered. "I don't want to do that. I don't want that for Harry. We'll do it if we have to, but let's be sure we really have to, first."

"Well, then," Sirius said, Transfiguring a dinner plate into a pad and a fork into a quill. James took them from him, replaced them with the real thing, and turned the dishes back to their original state. "Let's figure out how to keep you guys safe."

***

It was late when they were finally admitted that the planned defenses would do for now. Remus yawned and stretched. "I'd better get home. I've got to get to get to Ripspot's garden early tomorrow."

"I should go, too," Peter said. "I've got an early meeting with Honeydukes."

Sirius stood as well, but James shook his head. "Padfoot, would you mind staying for a bit?"

"Not at all," Sirius said. He glanced over at Remus, and Remus smiled before he and Peter Apparated away. "What's going on?"

"Well," James said, shifting and twirling his wand between his fingers, "we have something to ask you."

Sirius looked between James and Lily, who was looking equally nervous. "You two are not asking me to join in a threesome," he said, "are you?"

Lily kicked him in the shin in a friendly sort of way. "Of course not," she laughed. "It's something else."

Sirius already had a suspicion, of course. He'd be an idiot not to. But for once, he kept his mouth shut and leaned back, waiting.

"You see," James began, "it's like this. You know that I love Remus and Peter like brothers, but you, you're my best mate. You always have been." Sirius nodded, glad that he wasn't required to speak right now. "And we can really only ask one of you this."

"We knew it would be you," Lily picked up. "We always did. It's not just that we trust you so much, although we do. But you … you're right for the job. We know how you feel about Harry, Sirius."

He's like my own son. It was the first time Sirius had put words to the sentiment, and it shocked him. It felt somehow disloyal to James, and yet, at the same time, it was the most profound and pure feeling he'd felt in … well, not ever, but no. He'd never felt anything like this.

Lily reached for James's hand, and James squeezed it as he leaned forward. "We'd like you to be Harry's godfather, Sirius," James said, his eyes so serious behind his glasses. "I know to some people it's just a ceremonial thing, but to us …."

"We want you to be more than a big part of Harry's life," Lily said. "I can't quite put the words to it, but it's more than just an honorary uncle. I mean, like James said, we both love Remus and Peter like brothers, too. But you," she wiped her eyes. "I mean, you gave us Harry."

Sirius smiled. "You did all the work," he said in a voice that was rusty and cracked. "I just caught him." They both laughed, and Sirius wiped at his own eyes. "Oh, hell. You both know what I'm going to say."

"We know," Lily said, laughing through her tears.

"But Sirius," James said, leaning forward, "the only thing is … well, with this prophecy nonsense and all … I just want to be sure that you know just how serious this could get. If something should happen to Lily and me, we want you to watch out for Harry."

Sirius nodded. "I know that. It won't happen, but I know that."

***

By mutual, unspoken agreement Remus and Peter both found that they had Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron.

"Damn principles," Peter sighed, after they'd ordered. "Fabian at least serves Guinness."

Remus smiled bitterly as he picked up his own mug of beer. "I don't know. Lugger's Lubricious Lager works well enough for me." They both laughed.

"So," Remus said, after they'd drank their mugs halfway down.

"Yeah, so," Peter sighed. "They're so screwed."

"I don't know. I still can't convince myself that there's anything to it."

The corners of Peter's mouth tightened. "There are such things as true prophecies, Remus."

"So you say. But doesn't that completely negate free will?"

"Not necessarily. A true prophecy isn't something like 'Remus will jump off a cliff on April 2nd' or 'Lily will finally agree to date James on September 23'. Those are lucky guesses. A true prophecy is far more subtle than that."

"I don't see how."

"Well, being purposely vague, look at the prophecy we're discussing. It never gives any real specifics --"

"Bullshit. It gives gender and a two week span of time."

"Yes, but how is that all that specific? And it never says what said prophecy subject will actually do. Or when. Or how. It just says that said prophecy subject has certain vague attributes that will be very necessary for certain acts that aren't even all that defined. I mean, 'vanquish' has so many different connotations."

"Not really," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Honestly," Peter snapped, "you have no subtlety at all. No imagination, no soul."

Remus stuck his tongue out.

"Besides," Peter continued, "there's several different ways that that stupid statement could be interpreted. I guess the real question is how will You-Know-Who --"

"Peter!" Remus said. "Don't you start in on this You-Know-Who He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named nonsense too!"

"Sorry. You just get into the habit of it."

"When do you get into the habit of it?" Remus demanded. "None of us do it."

"Everyone at work does. Everyone in Diagon Alley does. For Merlin's sake, even half the Order does!"

Remus relented. "You do have a point. Still. You've never been a sheep." He felt an odd ping as he said that, because he had to admit that wasn't totally true. Both he and Peter had so often followed Sirius and James's lead that he had to wonder about that statement as it applied to both of them.

Peter drained his drink and slapped a few Knuts down on the table. "Well, I should go," he said, standing up.

"I should too. Peter, I didn't mean to offend."

Peter shrugged. "You didn't. Have a good night, Remus."

"You too."

If Remus hadn't Apparated home so fast, he might have noticed that Peter didn't leave, but rather crept upstairs to a room above.

***

"Godfather," Sirius said over cornflakes and toast early the next morning. "Can you believe it? Godfather."

"You didn't eat the last of my Pygmy Puffs, did you?" Remus said, staring suspiciously into an empty box.

"Yuck, no. I don't know how you can eat those things anyway. Pure sugar."

"They're fortified," Remus argued. "Says right here on the box."

"You're really avoiding the subject," Sirius observed.

Remus sighed and sat down. "Not really, Pads. I always knew you'd be godfather."

Sirius leaned forward. "You know why, right? You know it has nothing to do with you being a werewolf or queer."

"Obviously on the second," Remus said. "I do. I know, I mean. It's because you and James are … you and James."

There was something wistful in Remus's face. It was on the tip of Sirius's tongue to ask if Remus was jealous, but he realized just in time that he already knew the answer. He bit his lip.

Remus noticed. "That's not what I meant, Sirius. You know it. Saying you and James are like brothers isn't true, because we all are. You and James are just more than that. I've known it -- I knew it when I started sleeping with you and I know it now and I don't mind. What you and I have, as wonderful as it is, is different from what you and James have, and Sirius -- listen to me -- they are not in direct competition. Just like what you and James have is different from what you and Lily have."

That made sense, and Sirius brightened. "So why were you avoiding the subject?"

Remus shrugged. "I just wish … well, I wish it could be both of us." He laughed and rushed on. "I mean, I know it makes sense. We haven't made any sort of commitment to spend our lives together forever, and if we were both godfathers and in the unlikely event one of us left the other then it would be like a custody battle or whatever. And we've never -- well, I've never -- really told James and Lily just how serious this is."

Sirius caught Remus's hand, and his breath. "How serious is it?" he asked.

Remus blushed. "You know the answer to that. You know I … I …"

"Yes?"

He had to lean in as Remus whispered the words all in one blur under his breath. "YouknowIloveyou."

He had known, of course. Sirius wasn't stupid. But to hear it, even in such a bashful admission, made today one of the best days ever.

***

That day, Remus kept turning everything the Potters had said over in his mind. He didn't believe Severus Snape was a Death Eater, but he didn't not believe it, either. However, for the sake of Lily and James, it was best to believe it. Remus sighed as he carefully dug around Ripspot's prize Flutterby bush. He never liked believing the worst about people, but he'd like it far, far less if something happened to James or Lily.

The sun was hot overhead by the time he sat back on his heels and wiped his forehead. He sighed again, not really wanting to stay and eat lunch out here in the hot sun. Even his normal secluded cove seemed too bright and humid today. And he knew better than to approach the goblins and ask to eat inside.

"Screw it," he muttered, and Apparated.

Remus knew where Peter worked, and Peter had extended the invitation for them to drop in at any time. Remus never did, just like he never dropped in on Sirius in the Ministry or James at practice. It just wasn't professional, and he had a not-so-secret fear that some idiot would realize exactly what he was and his friends would suffer for bringing a werewolf into their place of employment. But today it was worth it, especially as he appeared in the cool, dark building.

The Gobstopper Bucket Company was located in a large building outside of Cambridge. From the outside, it looked like a Muggle refinery of some sort, with pipes and cyclones and distillation towers. But after Remus entered and the front-desk worker buzzed Peter down, he found a long, pristine white hallway with the overly sweet smell of sugar syrup lingering, mixed with the smell of disinfectant.

It was surprisingly unappealing.

Peter was delighted to see Remus. "I've been begging and begging you guys to come see," Peter said. "You have to take a tour of the place."

How could anyone say no to a tour of a sweet factory? Remus might worries on his mind, but he wasn't dead. "The only thing I'd like more is a tour of a brewery," he told Peter, and Peter laughed.

"Come on."

As they walked down the hall, the sugar syrup smell got stronger until it completely overpowered the smell of cleaning products. "This is where they do the caramels," Peter said, opening a door. Remus peeked in. A witch was standing on a ladder, adjusting some dials and gauges. A huge covered pot about the size of an automobile was bubbling. As Remus watched, she twirled one of the dials and a vent opened, and a stream of golden goo oozed out and filled a long metal pan. A wizard watched intently, weaving charms into it as the caramel flowed. He also poured a jug of a white, creamy mixture that swirled with the caramel.

"Stop drooling," Peter told him.

Many of the rooms were more of the same. It was surprisingly clinical and stark, although Remus spotted touches of whimsy here and there. Until they hit the place where they made Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans.

It was a large room, with two rows of wizards seated at glove boxes and three huge wheels at one end. The wheels had little scoops on them, which were turning in a huge vat of plain white candy beans, scooping the beans out and placing them into little weigh boats. The boats flew to different glove boxes. Remus noticed that each wizard or witch had some substance in the box they were working in. As the beans were deposited, the bean maker performed a charm, and when Remus got closer, he could see that the beans changed color. As Peter led him through the room, he caught glimpses of carrots, coconuts, mud, fish, coffee, lemons, chocolate, some of the caramels he'd seen being made earlier, and roast beef. He also noticed one wizard industriously picking his nose.

"I'm really not sure if I wanted to see that or not," he told Peter as they left.

Peter laughed. "I know. Once, I saw Rabastan Lestrange picking between his toes."

Remus turned green. "That's disgusting!"

"I'm not arguing. Come on. I saved the best for last."

Peter paused by a door bearing the words "Ice Mice," and Remus noticed Peter's name prominently at the top of a very short list. Peter flung open the door, and a chaos of squeaks greeted them.

They weren't real mice, Remus soon discovered. The ice mice were quite animated, kept in licorice cages. "What the --"

"Well, part of the secret to getting the mice to make your teeth chatter and squeak is a Locomotor Charm, coupled with others I can't tell you because it's top secret," Peter explained. "Anyway, we find that the combination of spells makes the mice quite, well, lifelike for a bit. It wears off eventually, but until then, we have these little candy mice scurrying around over the benches and under our feet."

"How many other people work here?" Remus asked, walking around the room. The animated ice mice were a little disconcerting, especially since they didn't have their candy eyes or licorice whiskers yet.

"In this lab, you mean? Only two," Peter said with some pride. He went over to a cage where a real mouse was watching them intently and fed it a few Fudge Flies. "But I'm kind of in charge, since it is my creation."

Remus nodded, still distracted by the ice mice. "They're creepy," he said.

"And yet, you'll eat as many as I hand you."

Remus shrugged. "What can I say? I'm insatiable."

Peter chuckled. "Speaking of insatiable, my mother packed me an extra sandwich today, and I'm just not that hungry. Want it?"

He struggled with the guilt. He hadn't come here to purloin lunch -- just to find a cool place to eat it -- but all he'd brought with him was an apple and a piece of cheese. And now that he wasn't out in the scorching heat, his stomach was definitely rumbling. And Peter's chin was jutting out in that defiant sort of way. Remus sighed. "Sure. Thanks, Wormtail."

They ate companionably in Peter's office -- a small room built into the lab. The walls were covered with papers bearing complicated Potions notations and abbreviations that Remus didn't understand. On the desk was a framed picture of Tina and Peter, kissing and nuzzling noses. There was also a picture of Peter's two sisters and his mother, waving happily. The board behind Peter's desk had a ticket stub to a Hobgoblins concert, a picture of Harry, and several pictures Remus recognized from Hogwarts.

"I was thinking," Peter said, around sections of an orange. "About the christening."

"Yeah, I was too," Remus sighed. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Probably. James told me they asked Sirius to be godfather."

"Yeah. And I'm not sure how to say it without it sounding like sour grapes --"

"I am," Peter said. "We say, 'James, these are dangerous times and dangerous places, and You-Know- … sorry, Voldemort -- could be looking for you and your son. You need to do this as quickly and with as little fanfare as possible, so you don't attract any attention. As much as we'd both like to be there, we think it's best for Harry if we're not.' "

"Simple, direct, and to the point," Remus admitted. "I was also thinking of offering to keep an eye out for them or keep an eye on their house."

"Maybe keeping an eye out for them," Peter said thoughtfully. "It's not like the christening will be in the Daily Prophet though. Their house should be safe enough."

"I guess." Remus crunched into his apple. "Although maybe we should run it by James anyway."

"I don't see why," Peter huffed.

Remus realized he'd offended. "Just for peace of mind," he pointed out.

No need to specify whose.

***

Harry's christening took place early in September, in a small Wizarding church in Glasgow. Sirius, Lily, and James flew on a carpet that Dumbledore had lent them, Harry wrapped in blankets and nestled tightly between Lily and James. Sirius kept reaching over to tickle his foot until Lily smacked his hand away and told him not to wake the baby -- naptime was sacred, damn it.

Sirius chuckled, but this time, James didn't join in. Oh.

Still, the flight was peaceful. Sirius watched the country pass beneath them. So many Muggle houses and factories and automobiles and people … people who had no idea of what could befall Britain if Voldemort gained complete power.

The carpet spiraled down, and despite the hustle and bustle of the streets around them, Sirius didn't lose that peaceful feeling, especially as the church appeared between a jeweler's shop and a second hand book store. It was a tiny church, but the light streamed through the tiny stain glassed window and gave the little sanctuary an ethereal quality. Sirius thought it was oddly perfect.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" A man in brown robes approached them. "I'm Jack Gunthrie. Very pleased to meet you. Dumbledore's told me a lot about you."

Lily smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you, too, Mr. Gunthrie. And thank you for doing this for us on short notice."

"My pleasure. Is this Harry?"

Lily arranged the blanket and beamed with pride. "This is Harry."

Mr. Gunthrie regarded the baby, who was starting to fidget, for a long moment. "It will take a while," he said. "Why don't you feed the boy and anything else he may need, and Daddy, the godfather, and I can have a little chat?"

Lily nodded and disappeared to a back pew to nurse Harry. Sirius and James looked expectantly at the priest, who sat down in a front pew.

"So you know Dumbledore?" James began, in his awkward yet straightforward sort of way.

"Aye. Good man, Dumbledore. He taught me Transfiguration more years ago than I care to count. He told me a bit of your troubles."

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"Just that You-Know-Who is looking for you. That was all. Relax, lad. He didn't say why."

James breathed out a sigh of relief. "It's not that I necessarily want to hide it," he began.

"Oh, aye. Lad, if there's one thing I know about God, it's that He understands humans. He understands why you're not telling me the whole story, and probably better than you do. God is infinitely wise; we priests are not. I wanted to talk about the ceremony, that's all."

James relaxed visibly, and settled in. Sirius listened to the rundown of the order of events with an odd feeling. When he looked down, he saw that his hands were actually shaking.

"Now, Mr. Black," Mr. Gunthie said, and Sirius suddenly felt like a spotlight had shifted on to him. "Am I correct that you've been christened yourself?"

"Yes, sir. The records were at St. Cedric's, before …"

Mr. Gunthie clucked his tongue in a sympathetic sort of way. "I heard about that. Well, faith is what we need these days, so we'll ignore the paperwork formalities. You are aware of your duties?"

"To guide and protect Harry, and to help him in his spiritual upbringing," Sirius said.

"He serves as Harry's guardian as well, should something happen to Lily or me, right?" James asked, and Sirius had the superstitious urge to clamp a hand over James's mouth so nothing would ever hear that statement and get any ideas.

"Ah, no, actually," Mr. Guthrie said. "A godparent is different from a legal guardian. A godparent is sort of a Christian sponsor or shepherd, and has only moral responsibilities, no legal ones. A guardian must be designated through the Ministry of Magic."

"Oh." James looked very taken aback by this information. "Well then, we'll have to see about that, too," he told Sirius. "I thought this would do it, but …."

"No problem, Prongs," Sirius reassured him. "Just tell me where to go, what to do, and don't die on me."

***

Sirius had not been to a church in years. He'd gone as a child, of course, because his parents did and they'd dragged him. The Potters didn't often go, and once he was on his own, sleeping late won out over religious devotion every single time. But today, standing in this tiny sanctuary with two people he loved as dearly as if they were flesh and blood, he wished his life were a bit different.

He watched, slightly detached, as Mr. Gunthrie said the words. Lily bowed her head to pray, and the light hit her hair, turning it a deep auburn. She looked untouchable, although not in the way Sirius wished he could mean it. James stood beside her, worried and protective.

Mr. Gunthrie placed Harry in Sirius's hands. He was awake, but he just gurgled as he was transferred, looking up at Sirius with trusting stone gray eyes. Sirius had been so delighted at that color until James explained that all babies started with blue or gray eyes, and the color changed later. But Harry just nestled into Sirius's hands as if he knew that Sirius would never drop him.

Sirius sniffled, just a little.

When the water touched Harry's head, Sirius felt like his own soul was being washed clean. War, death, destruction, mistrust… it all could be endured for the promise of the future. He looked up and smiled at James, who smiled back.

Sirius would never give up hope. There was far too much to live for.

Comments

[hikari-datenshi.livejournal.com]

OMFG FIRST COMMENT?! O.O Actually, I'm not even sure if I've ever commented on here before... But either way, I looove this fic!

This totally made my night! (or early morning, it being 4am and all...)

What a lovely chapter! And Remus running with the werewolves made me shiver just a bit. Especially when Fenrir came on the scene.

Keep up the amazing work!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

And Fenrir is going to be fun... heheheheh >:)

Fabulous

[(Anonymous)]

I'm terribly afraid that this is the last part I will be able to read. I know you are eventually going to break our hearts, and I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I've come to believe in your characters as much as JKR's, or more, even. I desperately want you to suddenly swing off into an AU, but I think you've said you won't.

Wonderful, as usual. This series is my favourite of all the fanfiction I've ever read. But I care too much to watch as Remus and Sirius stop trusting each other, and Lily and James die. I just can't.

Please, please, please consider rewriting history?

Re: Fabulous

[aura218.livejournal.com]

Here here. If you do that, you'll have ever so much more intregue to write!

Re: Fabulous

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I can certainly understand why you don't want to read too much more, although I don't think it's going to be quite as bad as people think. See, I really don't think that Sirius could have suspected Remus for that long. I really don't. Wouldn't he have said something or acted on it long before that? Wouldn't they have pushed Remus out of the circle? And yet, all signs point to Remus being as close as Peter. Remus had to confirm that Sirius thought he was the spy. So, I suspect it will really only be the last chapter or two that's horrid. But hey, reading is supposed to be fun- not torture :)

Unfortunately, I'll stick with going through as JKR wrote it, unless she releases TDH before I finish (in which case I likely won't finish). The reason I started this was to show that you can ship R/S and bring them to the place where they ended up without them hating each other in the process, and make it believable. It sort of took on a life of its own, but... ::sigh::

Thanks! :)

Re: Fabulous

[crownroyal-51.livejournal.com]

You have to finish this no matter what. I absolutely love this story and I'm dying to read the epilogue at the end which deals with Remus and Sirius being reunited in PoA. Please, please don't leave us hanging!

Re: Fabulous

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad to hear that you won't have them hating each other. That's something, at least. But how on earth are you going to bring these characters to the point where Remus believes--for 13 years!--that Sirius betrayed James and Lily? And allows Sirius to be sent, without any kind of trial, to living hell in Azkaban? I just don't see it without some agonizing trauma first.

What I meant to get through in my original comment, though, still stands. I really, really care about these characters. I feel like I've watched them grow up. And that's an amazing gift you've got, to make me care this much. It's going to hurt, and keep hurting, when the inevitable happens--but I still think you're wonderful. I'll keep reading for as long as I can.

Re: Fabulous

[sunisshiningnow.livejournal.com]

These comments by (Anonymous) say it all! &Not only is this ongoing story the most superb Marauder (and HP in general) fanfiction I've ever read, it feels like an actual book of what happened before canon - a genuine prequel! As has already been commented, I believe - you've totally made me fall in love with the characters as you write them! They feel like people! It's truly amazing what you've done with this, and I don't think I'd be the only one heartbroken if you stopped the series before your plans to finish it :D. And I guarantee you I'll probably cry when it gets to the saddest parts at the end *coughwhichiwishdidn'thappencoughAUpleasecough.* Anyway, thanks for such great work! :D

Re: Fabulous

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much- I love these boys too, and it IS hard to put them through this!

As far as where I'm going, there will, naturally, be some trauma. However, I have a very strong belief that Sirius and Remus believed the things they did because they didn't think they had any other choice. I mean, look how quickly Remus forgives Sirius in canon. Look how quickly he figures it out. You can tell Remus never fully believed Sirius killed Lily and James. If he truly, truly believed it, I think he would have told Dumbledore EVERYTHING about Sirius. He believed it because he had to, but he didn't believe it in his heart. And as for a trial... who says Remus didn't try? :) In 1981, Remus is a 22 year old not-too-rich werewolf up against people howling for a scapegoat. I don't blame Remus at all for this one (although I totally blame Dumbledore! He did have the influence that he could have gotten Sirius a trial.)

Fandom blows a lot of things WAY out of proportion, sometimes. I've never agreed with fandom's assessment of the Whomping Willow incident, and that Remus would be so furious he wouldn't speak to Sirius for months. I do think Remus was upset, but I think it kicked him in the ass and made him start standing up to Sirius, and I think he realized that Sirius is Sirius and doesn't always think things through. I think what JKR really wanted to show with that incident was just how much Sirius hated Snape, but fandom's turned it into something else entirely. I kind of think the same thing about the spy issue. Remus thinks it makes sense that that's what Sirius thought in canon. He's not that surprised- just, "oh, I get it now!" So, I think fandom really blows it up to be too much :)

[aura218.livejournal.com]

Yay :)

The werewolf clan bits were eerie, how Remus was more comfortable transformingin the pack. It's a good point that even DD didn't give him everything he needed -- I doubt a werewolf is intended to transform alone.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Heh- I like that icon :)

Thanks- I had a lot of fun with the werewolf clan. It really makes me feel for Remus... and all those kids that Fenrir has bitten but have apparently never gone to Hogwarts. Really makes you wonder, doesn't it?

[aura218.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks, made it meself.

Makes me wonder if Remus would be better off if he had a support system of people like him. I think there's a post-Azkaban fic in that...

[rissabby.livejournal.com]

Wow, this chapter was so jam-packed that I know I won't remember to comment on everything I liked.

Last chapter, or the one before, had Peter being very, very creepy; questioning Remus after sneaking veritaserum into his tea. This chapter you spent a lot of time on developing Peter's character and almost all of it showed him as a delightful human being (and rat)!

I loved Peter during the full moon. At last we see him as a brave Marauder and Gryffindor. I could really picture him hanging onto the wolf's tail with his teeth and tiny claws. He really stuck with Remus and was a great help.

I also liked the candy factory scene. He was so pleased to be able to show-off a little to Remus, and his office seems so nice and normal, work stuff and sentimental photos, nothing to hint at any darkness to come.

I'm a bit confused (if you're sticking to canon) how it can be that Peter is told the contents of the prophesy but that he doesn't tell Voldemort before Halloween 1981, or (since he might have thought Snape had told him the entire thing in '81) he doesn't tell Voldemort during OotP when it's clear that V. hasn't heard the whole thing? Is that clear as mud? Sorry, it's very late/early.

Anyhow, now I'm very curious about what you will tell us about how and why Peter joined the Death Eaters.

Another part I liked very much was the domestic scene with Remus and Sirius. You have a nice touch with homey details. I loved Remus looking suspiciously into his empty cereal box, and defending his choice "They're fortified, Remus argued." That makes me smile and want to snuggle your Remus.

BTW, I noticed some typos.
"Quidditch goon," Christine grumbled. "I'm not sur e…"
Did you want that space in sure?
"I'd better get home. I've got to get to get to Ripspot's garden early tomorrow."
"get to" is repeated
How could anyone say no to a tour of a sweet factory? Remus might worries on his mind, but he wasn't dead.
might have worries

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I'm afraid I've got myself backed into a bit of a corner with Peter, in that I can't give his perspective without doing an outtake. It's very annoying. But I can talk a bit about it :)

In canon, Sirius says that Peter was passing info for a whole year. And yet, James and Lily didn't feel that the Fidelus was necessary until a week before they died. What that says to me is that Peter didn't wake up one day and say, "I'll be evil! I'll turn on all my friends!" It was a gradual process.

At this point, Peter is definitely a Death Eater. He's giving the DE's some info about the Order in general- but not his friends in specific. When he drugged Remus, it was partly because he was looking for general info, partly to see if he could do it (I suspect the potion was Peter's own concoction), and partly because he is already forming his escape strategy- Peter's smart enough to know he needs someone else to divert attention to, and he was feeling out Remus.

I don't think Peter wanted to sell out James and Lily at the beginning. I think what happened was that the pressure increased, and his own desire to live or to rise increased as well. Eventually, he had to sell them out for whatever it was he wanted. Maybe he thought they could handle it, take out Voldemort, and then all would be well. Maybe he thought what happened would be the likely outcome. I wish JKR did more with Peter... he's really very fascinating, and her characterization of him really isn't meshing great with his actions :P

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking with Peter.

Thanks so much- I'm glad you've enjoyed it! :)

[aome.livejournal.com]

Eventually, he had to sell them out for whatever it was he wanted.

To be honest, I suspect it was to save his own skin, and/or the ultimate proof of his devotion to Voldemort. Looking at adult!Wormtail in canon, that seems to be his primary goal - to bow and scrape and be in V's good graces - and not get whipped, so to speak. I recall the argument in the Shrieking Shack went something along the lines of Wormtail protesting that Voldemort was gaining so much power, what was to be gained from opposing him, which tells me he just wants to be with whoever is on the winning side at the time.

My view, anyway.

[serenenuit.livejournal.com]

And here I was thinking that Peter was probably doing all of this to protect his family. With his father deceased and his family not as highly regarded as say the Malfoys, I've been leaning toward Peter trying to do things to ensure their safety.

Your characterization of him shows his strength and his craftiness. He's resourceful. He's cunning. He may even be a bit a social climber.

He may be a Marauder and MPP may be like brothers to him, but blood is thicker than water perhaps. When it came down to his "real" family and his Hogwarts family, he may have sacrificed one to save the other.

Having said all that, you're probably going in a totally different direction. lol

[hpaa.livejournal.com]

YAY! Am so glad you updated.... an amazing chapter, as always!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[sleeper6.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, things are getting worse. I love that scene with James telling Sirius at the beginning--got to the point right away. And then James asking Sirius to be the godfather was quite nice, especially how Sirius couldn't talk (too much emotion for our boy--awww).

As much as I like the special liitle bond that Remus and Peter have, I know Peter's going to use it to his sick, mad advantage.

Oh, and the I-love-you declaration was perfect. Excellent update.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I had a lot of fun with James and Sirius- they're such boys. Heh.

Glad you enjoyed it! :)

[aome.livejournal.com]

"Regardless," Peter said, recovering first, "someone besides you and Dumbledore knows."

What's the evidence for that? *draws a blank*

While they're all arguing over whether Voldemort knows about the prophecy - is this the point (in your canon) where Peter finds out and THEN tells V?

Lugger's Lubricious Lager

*snirk* My husband's a Guinness man, himself (if you can see through it, it isn't any good :P), but this cracked me up.

"Yuck, no. I don't know how you can eat those things anyway. Pure sugar."
"They're fortified," Remus argued. "Says right here on the box."

AHAHAHAHA. Like so many kiddie cereal commercials of that era. "Part of this complete breakfast - like grapefruit, bran muffin...." :D And that "I don't know how..." argument sounds remarkably like Calvin & Hobbes. *g*

YouknowIloveyou

Awwww. Sweeter than any Pygmy Puffs. :)

naptime was sacred, damn it

Spoken like a true mother.

And a lovely, hopeful (although, of course, that makes it bittersweet) ending. Great chapter! Sorry I wasn't able to volunteer to help beta - with travel, illness, races, and cantankerous kids, there's been too much going on here lately. Maybe next time.

[mitzy7.livejournal.com]

*sniffles* Wonderful chapter. I really like that 'Peter's chin was jutting out in that defiant sort of way' which is a slight reference to him being Neville-like, which I prefer than him being a straight out traitor. Was this intentional?
And heh to the references to your choir boy fic, which I absolutely adore, but cannot for the life of me remember the name of!!
And beautiful imagery of the church. I somehow doubt you will ever disappoint me with AIL! =)

[mindabbles.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed Peter in this chapter (in both of his shapes). I love your easy and natural interactions and conversations between the characters. The idea that Sirius did not fully suspect Remus until very near the end seems quite right to me and your portrait of how they get there is wonderful (and heart breaking). I've enjoyed this entire series - but haven't commented before because I just got on lj!

[fooza.livejournal.com]

Waaah, the doom is coming closer! Stupid stupid prophesy! Thanx!

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

Oh, itty baby Harry being all tiny and snuggly- it's too precious.

And so was Remus finally telling Sirius, sober, that he loves him. I was beginning to worry it would go unsaid, for all that they both know it's true.

The werewolf pack was so creepy and well-done. It would make sense, wouldn't it, if there were advantages to having a pack, since wolves are pack creatures. Having Sirius and Peter there to keep Remus in line was great. You knew Sirius was never going to let him out of his sight, but Peter's dedication was a little surprising, which of course only makes it hurt more. And we actually got to see what it is Peter does, which was cool.

Damien killing Lichtenstein was chilling, especially since it could easily have been in protection of Sirius, or that could be just a convenient excuse, and I honestly don't know which. Possibly both.

Hey, you wrote this pre-DH? Huh. And here I was thinking the Snape reference was in there because of that. Intriiiiguing. (And from all the comments you made about fandom, I'm kind of glad I backed away from in for the last few books. Because like you say, if Sirius for real thought Remus was the spy, ain't no way he's letting him stick around James and Harry.)