Thoughts on Accidentally In Love
Jun. 24th, 2005 09:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantWell, the good news is that the draft of Part 9 just spewed out of my printer and is waiting for me to get out to my engine lab so I can edit it. I'm really happy with most of the plot, but when I was reading through I noticed that I had some issues with word choice (a lot of repeated finallys and... I forget what else, but a lot of repeated words). I should have it posted by the end of the day, barring noting that I'm missing any big scenes.
I'm 90% really happy with this chapter, although it is really, really depressing. Again. The thing is, the world HAS to start getting dark now. I had to kill one of my favorite characters because it's canon he's pretty much dead (even though they never found the body, which makes me wonder...), and I can understand JKR's sadness at killing Sirius. Although it was easier to kill this character than Marilyn, because this character died off screen. But still... ::sniffle::
Heh. My anonymous critic there will be DELIGHTED with me.
But what I found truly frustrating is writing Voldemort. I have a LOT of trouble with him, and it shows, I think. I can write human villians, like Peter. Peter is a blast to write, because I can get inside his head and he has real motivations aside from "I want to take over the world!" I think in this chapter you can truly see that Peter has turned, especially at the end. I'm sad about that, too, because I liked my Peter. But Voldie is hard to write. Partly because the one book where he has interaction with Dumbledore is in the hands of some of my youth group kids, and partly because every time I tried to write Mr. Super villian the Imperial Death March starts going through my head. The Death Eaters... no problem. The Head Honcho? I gotta get better at that for my own stuff.
What's bugging me now is that there's 21 days to Half-Blood Prince. Of course I'm excited- even if I get blown completely out of the water, I'm excited about the book. I adore reading about Harry- I just never write his generation because that's JKR's story. But I wonder how badly she'll blow me out of the water.
Some of the stuff I'm tempted to wait for. Will we find out exactly how James and Lily defied Voldemort three times? As of Part 9, they've only done it once in my universe. That's something I can probably work into the plot, you see, unless it's directly related to their careers (which, let's face it, I probably got wrong. The only one I could have gotten right is Sirius- I made him an Auror simply because it's when Harry parrots him that he's told he thinks like one.). So it's tempting to wait for the new canon there, especially since we all know that while I might get Part 10 out by HBP, I won't get the whole thing done.
But I'm wondering how I'll feel if she completely blows me out of the water on other elements. Let's say I'm right, and the Lion Man IS Mr. Lupin, Sr., but his name is Steve and he's a soft touch, and has a visible, living wife. Or let's say that Peter's pre-Azkaban job becomes very, very important, or James's. (I think I'm fine with Remus in that it makes sense enough, and I think my guess for Sirius is very reasonable.) Or say Caradoc Dearborn reappears, and he's this young, handsome man who sweeps Tonks or Remus or someone off their feet, instead of a bug-eyed, gray-haired scientist that has chosen a life of celibacy (well, essentially)? I LIKE my Caradoc, though, so unless he becomes a huge presence (doubtful, because hey- they never found Bertha Jorkins body, either, and she's definitely dead), I'll keep my bug-eyed scientist.
In some ways, I kind of wish I could just end at Part 8. Sirius finally said "I love you", and even though Remus couldn't actually say it, everyone- including Sirius- knows he feels it. Even Remus, although he's more cautious. Which, I mean, they're 21. They're YOUNG to have found their love of a lifetime. They're also at about the year mark, really- at least from when they moved in together, and that's trouble. Not Bad Trouble, just trouble. It's when you really have to decide if this relationship is worth working out the kinks, and if it is, you have to work them out. It's normal, but there's friction. But anyway, Part 8 had a nice ending point to the romantic story, but it left so many things undone that it didn't seem right to end there. Of course, we all know how it's going to end. Peter is going to become a Death Eater and sell out Lily and James who will then die, Sirius will be framed for doing it, Regulus is going to die, Remus is going to be screwed over big-time....
I also read A Feast in Azkaban the other day, and the scene where Remus teaches Sirius the suicide curse stuck with me for a lot of reasons. For one, it was just gorgeously done. But for two, it pointed out (inadvertantly) a flaw in my own logic. See, I've assumed Sirius HAD to chose between Peter and Remus as to who was the spy. But if he had it narrowed down so closely, why would he ever trust Peter with the Potter's lives? Just in case? Is it hubris there? A Feast In Azkaban made me start thinking that the suspicion has to come from Remus's actions more than Peter. It doesn't really change much about what I was planning- it's a shaded detail that's more important in Sirius's head than in how I lay down the actions of the story- but it's important, I think. Or at least food for thought.
Hmmm. My boss wants me at a meeting at 11:00. There goes the engine testing this morning. Darn :) Although maybe I should wash the dishes I've put off for over a week.
Anyway, I'm wondering how much further I'll get on AIL before HBP. I know the first big thing in Part 10, and it's something that I'll start writing, but I'm really not sure about the whole thing. ::sigh::
I'll be so glad when this fanfic is done! :)
I'm 90% really happy with this chapter, although it is really, really depressing. Again. The thing is, the world HAS to start getting dark now. I had to kill one of my favorite characters because it's canon he's pretty much dead (even though they never found the body, which makes me wonder...), and I can understand JKR's sadness at killing Sirius. Although it was easier to kill this character than Marilyn, because this character died off screen. But still... ::sniffle::
Heh. My anonymous critic there will be DELIGHTED with me.
But what I found truly frustrating is writing Voldemort. I have a LOT of trouble with him, and it shows, I think. I can write human villians, like Peter. Peter is a blast to write, because I can get inside his head and he has real motivations aside from "I want to take over the world!" I think in this chapter you can truly see that Peter has turned, especially at the end. I'm sad about that, too, because I liked my Peter. But Voldie is hard to write. Partly because the one book where he has interaction with Dumbledore is in the hands of some of my youth group kids, and partly because every time I tried to write Mr. Super villian the Imperial Death March starts going through my head. The Death Eaters... no problem. The Head Honcho? I gotta get better at that for my own stuff.
What's bugging me now is that there's 21 days to Half-Blood Prince. Of course I'm excited- even if I get blown completely out of the water, I'm excited about the book. I adore reading about Harry- I just never write his generation because that's JKR's story. But I wonder how badly she'll blow me out of the water.
Some of the stuff I'm tempted to wait for. Will we find out exactly how James and Lily defied Voldemort three times? As of Part 9, they've only done it once in my universe. That's something I can probably work into the plot, you see, unless it's directly related to their careers (which, let's face it, I probably got wrong. The only one I could have gotten right is Sirius- I made him an Auror simply because it's when Harry parrots him that he's told he thinks like one.). So it's tempting to wait for the new canon there, especially since we all know that while I might get Part 10 out by HBP, I won't get the whole thing done.
But I'm wondering how I'll feel if she completely blows me out of the water on other elements. Let's say I'm right, and the Lion Man IS Mr. Lupin, Sr., but his name is Steve and he's a soft touch, and has a visible, living wife. Or let's say that Peter's pre-Azkaban job becomes very, very important, or James's. (I think I'm fine with Remus in that it makes sense enough, and I think my guess for Sirius is very reasonable.) Or say Caradoc Dearborn reappears, and he's this young, handsome man who sweeps Tonks or Remus or someone off their feet, instead of a bug-eyed, gray-haired scientist that has chosen a life of celibacy (well, essentially)? I LIKE my Caradoc, though, so unless he becomes a huge presence (doubtful, because hey- they never found Bertha Jorkins body, either, and she's definitely dead), I'll keep my bug-eyed scientist.
In some ways, I kind of wish I could just end at Part 8. Sirius finally said "I love you", and even though Remus couldn't actually say it, everyone- including Sirius- knows he feels it. Even Remus, although he's more cautious. Which, I mean, they're 21. They're YOUNG to have found their love of a lifetime. They're also at about the year mark, really- at least from when they moved in together, and that's trouble. Not Bad Trouble, just trouble. It's when you really have to decide if this relationship is worth working out the kinks, and if it is, you have to work them out. It's normal, but there's friction. But anyway, Part 8 had a nice ending point to the romantic story, but it left so many things undone that it didn't seem right to end there. Of course, we all know how it's going to end. Peter is going to become a Death Eater and sell out Lily and James who will then die, Sirius will be framed for doing it, Regulus is going to die, Remus is going to be screwed over big-time....
I also read A Feast in Azkaban the other day, and the scene where Remus teaches Sirius the suicide curse stuck with me for a lot of reasons. For one, it was just gorgeously done. But for two, it pointed out (inadvertantly) a flaw in my own logic. See, I've assumed Sirius HAD to chose between Peter and Remus as to who was the spy. But if he had it narrowed down so closely, why would he ever trust Peter with the Potter's lives? Just in case? Is it hubris there? A Feast In Azkaban made me start thinking that the suspicion has to come from Remus's actions more than Peter. It doesn't really change much about what I was planning- it's a shaded detail that's more important in Sirius's head than in how I lay down the actions of the story- but it's important, I think. Or at least food for thought.
Hmmm. My boss wants me at a meeting at 11:00. There goes the engine testing this morning. Darn :) Although maybe I should wash the dishes I've put off for over a week.
Anyway, I'm wondering how much further I'll get on AIL before HBP. I know the first big thing in Part 10, and it's something that I'll start writing, but I'm really not sure about the whole thing. ::sigh::
I'll be so glad when this fanfic is done! :)
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 03:13 pm (UTC)Standing on the cusp of shiny new canon and staring over the
abysschasm, wondering whether you're going to crash and burn with your predictions or soar cleanly over... indeed we are at a crossroads here. I don't know when you joined the fandom. I've only been here less than a year, so I don't know what happened in 2003 before OotP, though I know a lot of writers then, gave up their WsIP after OotP. (I'm *still* smarting over Canis M's abandoning "A Fearsome Business" just as things were starting to get interesting. I can understand why she didn't finish it, but still--grr.)Whatever you decide to do, please *please* PLEASE do NOT abandon your WIP after HBP comes out. Even if AIL is totally refuted and relegated to AU, you have a vision here, strong and tough and I hope you will see it through. It may not be JKR's vision, nor should it be because hey, we're not her. Of course we will have to accept JKR's vision of what comes before and after, but that doesn't mean other interpretations are less valid. (Except in the sense that fanfic writers are only "soulless hacks" according to one Lee Goldberg. Man I'm still shaking my head over that one. *g*)
And "A Feast In Azkaban"? My god, I was blown away by it. Such stunning depth and originality there and I was literally gasping that Nyxfixx had the guts to go through with teaching the suicide curse. (That was one long ache there, I tell you, I was almost crying along with the boys and I rarely get that moved from fanfic.) I have to agree, that Sirius' suspicion re who was the spy had to do with Remus' actions more than anything. I hope JKR addresses this in canon because I think it is important to the whole backstory.
Actually Remus himself in canon is an unknown quantity (i.e. "cagey bastard"). Everyone else important to the story is mentioned in the first 2 books, yet Remus simply arrives out of the blue in PoA without any forewarning. I've heard some mention that his role will ascend in the next 2 books, and in OotP it did seem to appear that he was being groomed as a leader--and that makes me wonder if that's the real reason why JKR killed off Sirius. With Sirius around Harry's not going to listen to anyone else really, though in OotP certainly it seemed like it was Remus who had the most significant mentor-like interaction with him. With Sirius gone Remus now stands to exert the most influence on Harry. I hope this gets addressed too in HBP.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 09:18 pm (UTC)I definitely won't abandon AIL... I think. I'm pretty sure. I know where I'm going the last few chapters exactly. It's just these next few parts that I'm wondering about canon impact- particularly the Lily and James defying Voldemort bits. ::Sigh::
A Feast In Azkaban got to me too. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 10:27 pm (UTC)So your version may not be the one JKR writes (if indeed she does describe how they defy Voldemort 3 times). I honestly wouldn't worry about it. That's the inherent risk we take in writing in a fandom that has new canon upcoming. I can't speak for all your readers, just me--but as far as I'm concerned, I'm more than willing to overlook a few canon inconsistencies for a damn good story. The fic that lured me into R/S, yahtzee's brilliant "Inhabited By Winter", has a couple of major canon inconsistencies (like describing a trial that Sirius never had), but that didn't matter to me--what mattered was Remus' devastatingly haunting characterization and how he comes to the decision he makes. Same here. It's the characterization and the story-telling that keeps me coming back.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 03:22 pm (UTC)I imagine Voldemort would be tough to write. I think that what one has to remember is that, in many ways, Voldemort is a fairly steryotypical villain. Unlike Sirius and Remus, he doesn't have much depth. It's a shame in a way, but I think the best way to write him, especially if his character isn't that integeral to the story, (which, unless its' going to tern out to be a Sirius/Voldemort/Remus pairing, in which case I both admire you and am very scared of you,) you don't need to worry about it too much. It's a horrible thing to say because I understand how characterisation, and depth of characterisation, is so important to you. Making your characters act and be sympahtetic like human beings seems tobe integeral to your work, but in this case I think it's not entirely neccesary.
At any rate, you are right. It will be interesting to see what theories are blown away by HBP. The James and Lilly defying V three times isn't neccesaraly that much of a bother for you. Because, at the end of the day, it's possible they did it at least one or two times without Sirius and Remus knowing. It could have been quite subtle, or they could have not mentioned it to them, to stop them worrying or something.
But anyway, as for the choice between Peter or Remus... are we sure it was one of those two who was thought to be the traitor? From my (admittedly hazy) memory of PoA, it was 'someone close to the Potters.' Now, yeah, that covers the Marauders, but it also covers a few others. Hagrid, for example. And probably quite a few of the rest of the order. Now, Sirius might have considered them too, but made the choice that a) the rest of the order weren't close enough to him, he didn't trust them, and b Remus wasn't to be trusted for (insert sneaky bahaviour/other reason here). That left Peter, whom he'd known for years and thought he could trust. does that seem like a reasonable explenation?
Anyway, I look forward to reading the rest of AiL and I hope all goes well for you. Sorry about the lengh of this post.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 09:20 pm (UTC)Good point about Lily and James defying Voldie off the page. Notice they did it out of Sirius's ear shot this time ;)
Your explanation for suspicion does make sense, and it's close to where I am, actually. Which makes me happy, because I hate fics where they suspect each other for MONTHS. Sirius never would have lasted that long without exploding!
Thanks for responding!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 04:48 pm (UTC)And I'm with the others - regardless of what happens in HBP, I hope you'll stick to the vision you have now, and write it exactly as you want to.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 09:22 pm (UTC)The ending will be like I've planned it, of that I'm sure. REally, the big thing is James and Lily and the way they defy Voldemort. Because that's hard for me to write, and if there's canon info about it, I'll take it! :)
no subject
Date: 2005-06-25 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-26 04:10 pm (UTC)I keep reminding myself I knew I was going AU in Chapter 5, when I wrote the rape. I don't think JKR would EVER have written that in this book. So... I'm already AU ;)
I can see how you can get stuck on apparently! :) Mine is definitely finally.
BTW- I've been meaning to respond to your post on your LJ about moving and all that... (plus your post to my weight post)- I haven't forgotten! ::hugs:: Hope things are feeling a bit better!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-27 01:44 am (UTC)Thanks for your hugs *stashes hugs and feels better* and don't feel pressured about replying to the weight post reply...if you feel like talking about it more I'd be happy to, but if you want to leave it or just don't have time that's fine too :) *hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2005-06-26 04:36 am (UTC)I love the way you're writing Peter. He's a three-dimensional character with motives and feelings and depth. It's wonderful!
Also, where might I find "A Feast in Azkaban"? If it warrants a Lissa rec, it warrants a Jessica read. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-06-26 04:11 pm (UTC)It definitely warrents a Lissa Rec. It's also gotten a