Come Naval Gaze with me!

[lls_mutant]

I'm sitting here working on Chapter 7 of A Lot to Live Up To (rather than my Star Trek review or my remix or my novel), and I find myself stuck. I can't say much because it really spoils chapter 6, but I'm having to write one of those conversations that's a turning point in someone's life, not much is said, and is incredibly emotional and intense all at once, but stuff has to be said on the surface. If that doesn't make sense, ask me tomorrow who the conversation is between, and it will make total sense. I'm also playing Scramble as a form of procrastination.

However, Scramble is not satisfying my desire for grown up conversation. So. A few questions for you all.

1.) What was one technically (not emotionally) hard scene you ever had to write? Feel free to talk about the process, if you liked the scene when you were done, to post it with DVD commentary, to post it without commentary, whatever.

2.) What was one of the scenes you had the most fun writing? Feel free to talk about the process, if you liked the scene when you were done, to post it with DVD commentary, to post it without commentary, whatever.

3.) What is one scene you've written that you think was intensely powerful, and you are incredibly proud of? Feel free to talk about the process, if you liked the scene when you were done, to post it with DVD commentary, to post it without commentary, whatever.


My answers are beneath .

1.) Well, aside from the scene I'm working on right now, I remember having a terrible time with a lot of Crawling in the Dark (which is also parts of chapters 11 and 12 I think of Accidentally in Love), where Remus and Regulus are running around stealing artifacts. Aside from having to come up with artifacts, figuring out how to break into museums and in and out of the Soviet Union was some fun, let me tell you. Granted, at least I had magic to work with, but still. Although I was really proud of myself for the idea that Rasputin essentially had a rudimentary Horcrux, and the reason Voldemort wanted it was to study it. But those little adventures were tough to write.

2.) I always have fun writing my crack fics, and probably the four I've enjoyed writing the most are A Boy Thing (James loses his powers due to unrequited love), Sparkles and Sugarplums (Sirius and Remus take a young Tonks to see the Nutcracker Ballet, with one of my favorite lines I've ever written- "Deatheaters in tutus."), The Stories We Tell (Baltar is a DM), and Baby Pictures (Gaeta and Hoshi meet Trevor and I laugh my ass off at them. Well, essentially. What- you didn't figure out that I was Mel? ;) )

In the first, the most fun I had was easily when Sirius found out that James had lost his powers and starting teasing him with the bodice ripper novels, and he and Remus started having an "academic" discussion on the subject. The second... I wrote it for rs_smallgifts, and the second I saw thistlerose's request and the idea of Narcissa Malfoy as the prima ballerina was in my head I was having fun, and the entire fic was just a blast to write. (Although I think I got the biggest kick out of the bathroom scene.) The Stories We Tell, I really enjoyed the start, and the conversation that got it going. And Baby Pictures... I liked putting Trevor in there, but I got a good laugh out of the whole scene at the beginning when Gaeta and Hoshi are comparing notes on guys and Roslin's writing all the names down. :)

I like writing humor. It's not something I can do on demand, but when I get an idea, I have fun doing it.

3.) Most powerful scene. Hmmm. Chapter 7 of AIL had some stuff... I think one of my favorites was Sirius's speech to James after James figured out Sirius and Remus were a couple:


“Moony usually dances this part,” Sirius said in a low, husky voice in James’s ear. “No, you’re not pulling away.” His grip tightened. “We don’t go out dancing often, but I love it when we do. You like dancing with Lily like this, don’t you, Prongs? Her body in your arms, her head on your shoulder, and the whole room watching you hold her and knowing that she’s yours, that no one can take her from you, because she’s dancing here with you tonight, in public. It’s a statement when you dance close like this, isn’t it? It means that she’s going home with you tonight and no one else had better lay a hand on what’s yours. Yeah. Well, that’s exactly what it’s like for me, too. We go out dancing at a club like this, and it’s the only time I can put my arms around him in public. The only time he can rest his head on my shoulder, the only time I can stake my claim, in a gay club where no one knows us. You can dance with Lily anywhere. In the Leaky Cauldron, in the club around the corner, at Frank and Alice’s wedding… in the bloody streets if you want. You can hold her hand, touch her hair, kiss her, comfort her, tease her. You can be jealous, you can watch her with stars in your eyes, be proud of her, be hurt by her, make up with her, and everybody fucking smiles at you. They smile at you. You can hover over her bedside, you can worry, you can cry, and damn it, if it was Lily in that bed in St. Mungo’s the world would be rallying around you and I’d be at your side and I wouldn’t sleep or eat or work until I knew you were going to be okay. But Remus is… Remus is….” Sirius’s voice cracked. “The only reason I’m even allowed in the room is because fucking Sommers is a bloody pouf and he knows.”

I also really like the end of that chapter, when Damien catches on and just says "Don't hurt each other."

Another scene that gets me every time, even if it doesn't get everyone else, is from Youth's Final Luxury. It's the scene with Gaeta and Jammer singing on the swings:

They stopped and looked at each other, and Felix saw the frustration, anger and hate he felt reflected on Jammer's face. And suddenly he was very, very tired, body and soul.

The wind blew, and a chain rustled. Jammer turned his head, and improbably, a smile ghosted over his face. "Come on," he said. "I'll race you."

He was off, sprinting towards a playground that had been constructed over a year ago. A part of Felix's mind gaped at the sight, but his own feet were moving, trying to catch up, running until he flung himself onto a swing. The metal was ice cold under his hands, but he pulled on the chains and kicked out his feet, and then he was flying next to Jammer.

"You know what I miss?" Jammer said as they swung. "I miss chocolate."

"Never a chocolate person, but I miss caramel," Felix admitted.

"I miss beer. Real beer."

"I miss scotch. The good stuff like my father used to drink, not the rotgut that's left."

"I miss reading. I've read every thriller I can get my hands on, but that's maybe ten since the attack."

"I miss going to the movies. I used to go every week, before I was assigned to Galactica."

"I miss music. It's been so long since I've heard good music." Jammer said, and then laughed bitterly. "My mom was a singer."

"Yeah?" Felix closed his eyes and tipped back even further, and the swing set shook as his swing went higher.

"Yeah," Jammer said. "She used to sing to herself all the time…" He pulled harder on the chains of his swing and began to sing an old lullabye. He had a good voice, soothing and sure, and Felix found himself picking up the harmony, weaving the music together, their voices climbing as they swung in unison.

"Mr. Gaeta. Captain Lyman." They both stopped swinging suddenly, coming back down to earth as an angry Cavil and an amused Leoben stared at them. "What in the world are the two of you doing? You represent this administration, and you're behaving like children."

"Sorry, sir," Jammer said, and Felix echoed him.

"That's all very well and good, but get off those swings and act like a captain and a Chief of Staff before I really lose my patience and toss you both in detention for breaking curfew."

"Right away, sir." Jammer pulled a mask and an armband from his pocket, and the warmth Felix had begun feeling drained away. Cavil shook his head and stormed off, muttering at Leoben about discipline.

Leoben turned before he left. "I liked the music," he said. "Truly, you were both blessed by God to create something so beautiful."

"He really creeps me out," Jammer said, putting his armband on. He pulled the mask over his face. "Come on. I'll walk you home so you're not in trouble."



I think it hits me because I can picture it so clearly. I have the feeling it's one of those scenes that probably should have been cut- it's a lovely, powerful image, but at the same time it doesn't add much to the story- but I love that scene so deeply I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And I still cry when I read the epilogue of Youth's Final Luxury, and one other scene that, again, I'll talk about tomorrow.



Well, I didn't talk much about process or anything, but I'm curious as to what all of your own scenes you guys like. So, naval gaze in my journal!!! Yay!!!

Comments

[blue-crow.livejournal.com]

I'm out now, checking in from a public computer during some down time, so I'll have to look at some more of my stuff and keep thinking about these today.

Thank you for posting this, though. I don't read much Sirius/Remus but I've always liked the pairing and that was a dynamite scene. As well as the Jammer and Felix scene. I kept meaning to save up your works to read all at once, especially the longer ones because I always miss chapters and forget pieces and like to read things all at once and I just haven't yet. The dungeonmastering one shot pieces was just brilliant, though, I kept meaning to find that one and totally loved it.

Let's see. When scenes are difficult for me to write, I usually don't write them. I was having a lot of trouble getting Gaius and Tyrol to do what I needed them to do in Conquests which is probably why the project was stalled. I just had a lot of trouble trying to get a certain level of misunderstanding out of the characters, of a language or slang difference that was very subtle and probably not a very good way to hinge a plot point. I had a lot of trouble and I don't think I was all that successful, and it was very hard to pick up from something I hadn't thought was all that great in the first place.

Generally writing Gaius provides me with a lot of fun. I think the most fun scene was the discovery I was having with him in my first fic, Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide, which was pulling the submissive vision I had for him out of my head. It was so much fun partly because it was so fresh for me, but also because I'd been away from fic writing for a long time and I had so much fun getting back into it. And writing sex has always been fun for me- I actually like bypassing the plot if I can get a good enough setup that makes the sex emotionally satisfying to the reader. In that vein, Flawless, the Felix in bondage fic I wrote was equally wonderful. I love writing something that makes me grin the whole way through writing it, even though 'funny' is almost never my first impulse with fic. Both of those fics were pretty easy and happened more or less the way I'd envisioned them, which is part of why I think they were so fun to write. Not a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I think I only have one thing I'd hope was 'emotionally powerful,' and I think that was the That Which Holds Us Together, the Gaius/Hoshi piece. If I did what I hoped I did, I drew out a lot about Felix as a lover and as a person, secrets about him that only his lovers knew, especially things that Gaius never knew. It really tore me up while I was writing it (I kept sobbing every few minutes, which might excuse some of the minor mistakes). It had come together as sort of a rush after something I read in my Short Fiction course reader about a sort of similar situation. It was a short story about a man who, right after assisting his wife's suicide, slept with a younger woman in an outpouring of emotional need, but by the morning when the wife had awoken not dead, whatever had bonded him to the younger woman was gone. It made me think about loss and sex and need, and I wanted to capture a little bit of that and allow some grief to be expressed. I know there was a lot of fic at that period that was about that topic, more or less, mourning Felix, but I knew Gaius needed a more sexual catharsis and it struck me that Louis might as well.

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Ooh, is that story from your short fiction class by any chance "Last Night" by James Salter? I remember that one from the New Yorker fiction podcast (which I really need to catch up on). Sad, creepy, and very screwed-up, but I liked it a lot. I'm not much of an explicit fic reader, but you've got me intrigued. I may have to venture out of my comfort zone for that one...

[blue-crow.livejournal.com]

It was! It was the last story in the book and we never had to read it, but that instructor always gave such good fiction in her course readers that I usually keep them around and read them long after the class is done. That story really catalyzed a lot for me.

It isn't really... the sex is central to the piece, but I don't think it was gratuitous or anything, and I took care for it not to be too porny. Its here if you're interested. It was just unusual for me to have literary inspiration that was beyond fic, I'm not usually a short fiction person, but that piece said so much more than I knew how to say right then.

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Wow! I really liked that piece. I never imagined Baltar/Hoshi would work at all, let alone make me a bit teary.

[blue-crow.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^^ I think I thought it would be crack at first.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Definitely do- I'd say it's her best fic.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that writing sex is fun for you! I get into moods where I can do it, but the truth is, I rarely enjoy writing it. (Thus the reason I fade to black a lot.) You write it very well :) (I have no objections to it, mind you- I just don't write it well often. If you ever read the scenes where I do, there's always conversation, and that takes center stage whereas the acts get minimal coverage.) I envy that ability at times!

I would definitely agree that That Which Holds Us Together was emotionally powerful. It was, without a doubt, my favorite fic of yours, and you did do exactly what you set out to do. It's an awesome fic.

Thanks for answering! I love seeing what people like about their own writing :)

[blue-crow.livejournal.com]

See, whereas I'm so jealous of the stamina you have to write really long, plotty, intense fics. Sexual tension isn't really a great driving force for a long piece (and the sexual tension storylines in shows and such are usually totally irritating) and I have a little trouble thinking of fics that don't revolve around sex, which makes it hard to write more than a oneshot (which is what I wish my Fleet callsign was).

I'm glad you liked that one, though. Its funny that it was written very quickly and very impulsively, which might be a good lesson for me I guess.

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

I *told* you the D&D one was brilliant!! ;-P

I remember when you were working out the Baltar-Tyrol misunderstanding. Having seen behind the curtains on that one...I do think it worked the way you finally went with it.

[brennanspeaks.livejournal.com]

For the record, I really enjoyed the scene with Jammer on the swings. I felt it added a lot to the story thematically. Jammer's one of those characters we tend to forget about. This scene felt like a eulogy to him and to everyone who lost a part of themselves on NC. Okay, done with the speechifying now.

Probably the toughest scenes I've ever written were in my Pretender WIP "Flight of Memory." I haven't uploaded that story to LJ, but it's on FFN. It was my first real foray into fan fiction; I was still learning the ropes and it showed. In chapter 3 I discovered that I'd written myself into a corner--multiple storylines were unfolding with multiple characters, and though the timeline had moved on, I'd forgotten to write a scene from the main character's perspective. I had to retcon by showing it in flashback before moving on to new developments in his plotline. The difficulty lay in differentiating between the flashback scene and the new scene. Both were essentially the main character sitting in an empty room, angsting about his life. Correcting the timeline while laying the groundwork for future scenes *and* keeping it interesting wasn't easy. I confused a whole lot of readers with that scene, my betas included.

Like you, I enjoy writing a good humor scene once in a while. See Dinner With Ellen," which I wrote after overhearing two authors chat on a forum about how they'd like to see more of the Ellen/Lee foot-molestation scene.

Most powerful scene? Well, if I ever finish my WIP (which I'm currently procrastinating with memes and comments) some of those scenes will probably rank. For published fic, though, I'm probably proudest of my LotR fic "While Hope Lasts" which focuses on Gilraen fleeing her home with two-year-old Aragorn after her husband is killed.

Gilraen emerged from the small privy and collapsed on one of the long benches by the table that dominated the room. She stared at the tabletop, running her fingers absently along the whorls and knots of the rough wood. She tried to force her mind to think upon mundane things. Aragorn would wake soon and would need to be fed. She should bathe him as well. Nothing could be done about his dirty, sweat soaked clothes; there hadn’t been time to pack more and this outpost stored nothing in his size. Malphor and Arandur would return soon, probably with a full patrol in tow. She should prepare some food, maybe tea. There was little else to do. The cabin was silent.

Gilraen was not with child.

And this triggers her first real emotional emotional breakdown since her husband died--it finally becomes real that he's not coming back. I don't know why this scene stands out to me--maybe because it's so mundane in a story that's more or less five chapters of action. I didn't realize I was doing it at the time, but this scene is smack-dab in the middle of the third chapter--the exact center of the story. I like it as a turning point; having broken down, she is forced to remake herself.

But, I'm speechifying again, so I'll shut up now.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Finish your WIP! Actually, after I saw this comment, I went back and reread the parts I have in my inbox. :) It's a good story- I'm dying to see the end.

Oooh, dealing with something via retcon. I've had to do that a few times as well, and that's tough! Yeah, I can see where that would be painful, especially since you don't want it to be an "oh, by the way" thing.

Thanks for responding! :)

[brennanspeaks.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that particular retcon was what prompted my "don't post until it's completely finished" policy.

The trouble with saying "finish your WIP" is that the first thought that runs through my head is "which one?" I'm *so* close to finishing Arrested, but the deadline is looming for the remix piece, and there are a bunch of ideas bouncing around my hard drive that have yet to see the light of day. Oh, and my poor neglected readers from the Pretender Verse are still pestering me to finish FoM. *headdesk*

[trovia.livejournal.com]

Ohh this was really interesting! I love it when people talk about their writing. It's interesting to see what causes trouble for other writers, for example. I'm finding it very fascinating that you are proud of content you came up with, while I'm usually rather dismissive of my plot, but proud of making the rhetorics work. :)

It was also nice to read about your HP fic. I've liked the few fics I read a lot, and I might come back to read more if the HP bug bites me again. ;)

Hee. You're catching me while I'm bored. You're my hero! :) Let's see...

"Back to Earth" was unexpectedly hard to write overall. It would have been easy as pie to write it in German. But I misjudged what I can and can't pull off in English. The action scenes were especially hard to write, as were the scenes with Sam and the Cylon network. Honestly, I'm proud of having written that fic because it was just so awfully hard to do, and I know some people liked it. But some scenes make me cringe.

How The Viper Jock Met The Choirboy... was very hard to write, too, because while I knew what I wanted to do, I couldn't decide which scenes to chose. Overall, I wrote this fic about four times, I believe. It's certainly not my best fic ever but it gets the job done.

I had a lot of fun with Brendan in "How to live and love..."! It was lots of fun to come up with new inappropriate lines for Brendan. When I got stuck, I just had to think about what tasteless thing I could have Brendan say this time. (I couldn't figure out Brendan's coming-out scene at all before I decided for the line of "I won't say the butt sex isn't a bit scary, because it is, but I figure I don't have to try it all at once." Most scenes with Brendan have such a line) I chuckled to myself a lot when writing that fic. Incidentally, I also giggled my way through writing Lilacs, which I was told is a cute story. But really I wrote it as crackfic. ;)

There are three scenes I'm really proud of, I think. There's the Helo/Gaeta scene in Chapter 3 of "Back to Earth" when Gaeta muses about why he doesn't like Helo anymore. That scene was very long originally, heavy on the deep thoughts, and I ended up cutting a lot of it because it was just too long. It's a very tight scene now, although still very thinky. I like these paragraphs especially, which are pretty much the emotional core of that story line:

Felix flashed to lying in the Demetrius’ rack, half mad by pain and in shock over splintered bone literally sticking out of his leg, realizing that Helo wouldn’t even waver in his plan to wait just a minute longer for Thrace. Anything, Helo had said. He’d do anything Felix asked him. As long as it wasn’t anything that mattered, like saving his frakking leg.

It hurt, godsdammit, even now. It was one thing to know he was expendable and another to have it shoved into his face by a friend while he thought he might die.

He’d just embarrassed himself again, making stupid assumptions. His leg had been lost the moment Sharon had decided to follow Starbuck.

I'm also very proud of the opening scene of "How to live and love". It was really hard to find the right balance of angsty and funny but once I got it, I knew it would work out. I had a version that was too angsty, when Brendan came off as callous, and Felix came off as whiny. I'm very proud of the whole fic for various reasons, and one of them is this opening scene.

Thirdly, I'm very fond of Recapitulation, my very first BSG ficlet ever, which I posted on gaeta_dee. It just... works. It does exactly what it's supposed to do. It makes me happy to think I wrote it. :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

You know, your English is so good that I always forget you're not a native speaker, although I can totally see how Back to Earth would have given you trouble. Just some of the techobabble and stuff... ouch.

I loved your Brendan in How to Live and Love. after you posted that ficlet, I went back and reread and fell right back in love with him. I wanted that ending so badly for Felix after that. ::Sigh::

It's really neat to see people's different answers. Thanks for answering! :)

[snorkackcatcher]

1.) Hmm -- if we discount the Ron/Hermione first-time-sex scene in The Right Time (not my comfort zone, but the whole point of the exercise was to force myself to try writing NC-17), it's probably chapter 21 of Nymphadora Tonks and the Liquor of Jacmel, which took far longer than I expected when I realised what it entailed. Tonks and her fellow Aurors are setting a trap in the Ministry for one of the criminals they're trying to catch, and I eventually had to stop and work out a timeline practically minute-by-minute for a period of about 90 minutes, saying where everyone was and what they knew and who they were disguised as and what they thought was happening ... And then have the Aurors talk about what had really happened in a debrief in the next chapter to unconfuse the reader.

2.) If the scenelets of A Really Bad Idea count, then those -- that fic was so easy to write it was definitely the most fun! And it's trickfic, so it was also fun basically writing so as to suggest one thing but actually mean another. Otherwise, the Riddle-AU!Lockhart-Harry-Ron confrontation in Battles with Basilisks was just amusing based on the subject matter. Usually it's more a case of "I do not like to write, I like to have written." :)

3.) Intensely powerful? You've come to the wrong store here. There are a few, but not many -- the extended Remus-Greyback confrontation in The Wolf Covers Its Tracks is probably the most powerful, just because of the generally bleak nature of the events. Maybe Snape looking in the Mirror in To Dwell in Dreams, or Remus finally getting to hug his daughter (Luna) in Dark Side of the Moon.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I'm glad someone from the HP side of my list answered!

Action seems to be a popular choice for what was the most technically difficult to write. That sounds like a bitch to sort out! One thing I don't miss about writing HP is keeping track of all the spells.

Usually it's more a case of "I do not like to write, I like to have written." :)

Heh. I know this feeling well. (I am feeling it right now in the scene I'm working on.) It's such an accurate summation.

I was very, very pleased to see The Wolf Covers Its Tracks got a niffle, btw. That was such an awesome story.

Thanks for answering!

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Writing meta *and* a call for commenters to meta back at you? Christmas came early! :D I'm with you on crack is fun and action is hard (more on that below).

1.) What was one technically (not emotionally) hard scene you ever had to write?

The hardest scenes for me to write are: 1) scenes with action/logistics, 2) scenes with sex, and 3) scenes with lots of violence/gore. Thus, Chapter Four of "Mathematics," with Felix sneaking out torn-up intel in his shoe, the bombing at the checkpoint, and Felix and Eight having sex at the end was quite difficult. It's not that I feel so uncomfortable with the subject matter so much as I find it difficult to describe the latter two in unique ways, ways that are interesting and in keeping with the POV of the character. Logistics and action are just a pain to write sometimes because I have to work hard to keep track of what happened to who and where to maintain continuity, all while keeping it half-way plausible, too.

Research helps, but what research I've done for "Mathematics," particularly that chapter, has been technically and emotionally difficult. You'd be surprised how few firsthand accounts there are from suicide bomb victims. The silence is deafening, in a way. Luckily, I found one really excellent speech by an American reporter/bombing victim in Iraq, so I relied heavily on that. As for Eight and Felix's relationship, I got a little inspiration from my very favorite film, "Notorious" (actually, "Notorious" is probably closer to your Eight/Four fic), and a lot of inspiration from "Notorious's" far more brutal progeny, Ang Lee's "Lust, Caution." Eight/Felix is a *lot* less brutal than Wong/Mr. Yee; in fact, I'd say both Eight and Felix are essentially Wong. I can't meta too much more about that, because the parallel at least with Eight is most prevalent in a chapter I haven't posted yet.

2.) What was one of the scenes you had the most fun writing?

Writing is too fun--I can't pick just one! :D Dee-Gaeta banter is usually great fun. Sam's triad game in "Five Times Dee Didn't Play Cards..." was one of my favorite scenes. It's also one that I'm proud of because, unlike almost everything else I write, it's not dialogue-driven; it's simply going around the table and describing the look Dee sees on each person's face and how she can glean a story from their arrangement.

Also, once I came up with the OC POV for "People Will Talk," that one was more fun than should be legal, especially since I'd struggled so much with the previous Felix-POV version.

The most fun I've ever had, though, is with a Gaeta and Hoshi scene in an as-yet unpublished, crackish AU called "Culture Shock." I hate to tease, because I doubt that fic will see the light of day until I've finished my remix, "Mathematics," and "Companion Pieces," but I can't help it. ;)

3.) What is one scene you've written that you think was intensely powerful, and you are incredibly proud of?

I'm most proud of the very end of "Faithful Son," where the story shifts tense and Roslin remembers her forgotten promise to try to set things right between Gaeta and Adama when she and Hoshi are on Earth. I felt that flashing forward like that was a risk, that the sensible thing would be to end the story in sickbay, but I'm really satisfied with the way my choice turned out.

[trovia.livejournal.com]

Your meta makes me want to read "Mathematics" :). I'd started to but then I didn't have time, and now I think I'd rather wait until it's finished. But I will read it! I'm intrigued that you researched suicide bombings.

"Culture Shock"... you're going to send them to Earth, aren't you? :D

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Cool! I hope to have it done some time in July.

Maaaybee.... ;D

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

You'll like Mathematics when you read it :) It's really, really awesome and very plotty and excellent. :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Another Gaeta/Hoshi from you? ::perks up:: YAY! :)

Action/logistics seems to be winning the technically hardest award here. (Which I totally get, because although the scene I was trying to write last night wasn't, my other scenes with Remus and Regulus breaking into museums were. I've written fist fights before too, and they're surprisingly hard.)

That's really interesting that there aren't many testimonies from suicide bomber survivors. If you still have it, would you link me the speech that you read? My original stuff does a lot with guerrilla tactics and terrorism in a fantasy world, so I'd be really interested to read that. I've been reading some post-9/11 stuff, because the opening attack totally mirrors that, but further on is meant to be not-so-big.

The ending of Faithful Son is so incredibly powerful. I love that ending- it's a large part of what makes that one of my favorite stories. :)

Thanks for responding! :)

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Well, in that particular fic, they really only have one big scene and a few mentions. However, looking over my fic to-do list, there's a fair amount of Gaeta/Hoshi on the horizon...

Yeah, I was really struck by how firsthand accounts just don't seem to be making it to English-language publications at least. Kimberly Dozier's account was one of the few I found, and she's really the only one who talked at all about the visceral, physical experience of being near a car bomb. Here's the recording of her speech, courtesy of the Pritzker Military Library: http://www.pritzkermilitarylibrary.org/events/2008/12-03-kimberly-dozier.jsp . I also read some accounts from survivors of the 7/7 London Underground bombings, but I can't find that link back again; I'm pretty sure it was at BBC News, though.

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

You ask the best questions! And LJ is so quiet. I'd love a writing conversation. :-) Let me write down my answers before I get distracted.

Technically-hard scene
That's easy. This action scene in Silent Running. I never signed up to write action! But there I was writing a hostage situation. I wrote and rewrote that thing so many times and knew it was problematic from the get-go. There were like four Dorals and I finally narrowed it down to three, maybe two because I couldn't keep track of them in the scene. The other hard thing was I wanted the woman (Kara) to rescue herself and had a hard time figuring out how she would considering she was tied up. Whew! If I never write an action scene again it will be too soon.

Most fun writing
That would be either banter or porn. Those sometimes flow. Here are a few samples.

From Boys Night In
“Gaeta, stop!” Felix could see the sheen of sweat on Lee’s brow even in the darkness of the bunk.

“Felix,” Felix reminded. When he had another man’s cock in his hands, he’d damn well better use his first name.
I giggled writing this. I like the idea of Felix thinking like this, snarky, calm, and a bit demanding even during sex.

This is a snippet from an unposted Kara and Helo ficlet I started before season 4. Just a draft.
The bars opened to admit him and he sat next to her on the small bench. She smiled. Then miraculously, she pulled out a deck of cards.
“How you get those in here?”
“I have my ways.”
“Rooks, wild?”
“Are they any other way?” She grinned and sat on the floor and began to deal.
I just saw my notes on this story and I said how happy it made me to write. That's why my gen banter stories get stalled. I have to be in that kind of happy bantery mood. I can be happy but optimism and BSG don't often mix. I wonder if I'll get back to those pieces. They are fun at the time too. The best thing is to giggle and laugh while you're writing. :-)

Powerful and Proud of
Or powerful or proud of? Hmm. You'd probably want both. :-)

I'm really proud of When Wakes You Up at Night. Yeah, it's triggery and potentially controversial but I think it's powerful. I literally had to write it, the imagery was so with me in the middle of the night. And I'm proud that I was brave enough to post it. I think it is one of my most tightly-written ficlets.

And Walk Into the Fire With Me. A lot of readers cried during my story With My Three Wishes. But Walk Into the Fire With Me. That was my first post-leg story. I find that not a lot of people write about Felix post-leg. I get that, it's very hard. But I made myself write it. And yes, it was very moving and powerful to me.

“I love you,” she said. And she meant it. She had never said it but she meant it. She saw his eyes fill with tears. Then slowly he brought her hand to where his leg should have been and she hesitated because this was more intimate than the sex. He was trusting her to not break him and she was trusting the universe to not lose him. It was not as much about losing the leg, but about losing his heart, and she hadn’t known how used to having it she had gotten, until the few days it was in danger of not beating, until the last months without the light in him that made him, well, him.

This paragraph. It may not seem like anything now but it did break me a bit writing it. I didn't think I would be able to write Felix again at all and not with all that he'd lost. Then . . . I did. Gosh, did I really love that character. I get misty again just thinking about it, which is silly, but true. :-)

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I've really written an action scene. Hm. I think the closest I've managed are multiple Leoben deaths in 'Prophecy' and 'Nemesis.' Heh. My brain doesn't think in action sequences for fic, maybe?

Hah, just remembered--I wrote Seelix in handcuffs about to be taken to detention when she gets rescued in a firefight... and in my first posted version, I had the handcuffs magically disappear. Oops!

You must have posted this while I was writing my own comment, because I missed it. :)

That's why my gen banter stories get stalled. I have to be in that kind of happy bantery mood. I can be happy but optimism and BSG don't often mix.

I write crack or fun stuff when I'm wanting/needing to cheer myself up... or bored. Standardized testing trauma, for example! (Now I wish I could pass along writing motivation to you, so there would be more gen banter stories!)

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm realizing as I type this that the gen bantery thing is such a flash in the pan for me. It's just a fleeting mood I'm in. I really have to write and finish those fics in that moment because those moods are few and far between for me and that momentum is hard to pick back up.

I wrote a BSG/Bionic Woman crossover this way. And my one crackfic. All in a few hours. I can't think too much or edit too much and I need to have free time. It's the only way the bantery muse can survive, the poor dear. :-)

(I picture her like Moaning Myrtle in the bathroom. Except instead of moaning genbanter!muse is smoking and wise-cracking before she diapparates before my eyes. :-))

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Action is definitely winning. :)

I like writing banter, too. I've found that you can do it for BSG- and crack- but the time span generally has to be short if you want to maintain any plausibility. Or you have to go a little darker. (I still love the banter in The Oath (I think?) between Lee and Kara when he throws the grenade without pulling the pin and she doesn't think it's funny. It's a dark episode, and I think that's part of why that gallows humor works so well there.)

I'm realizing I haven't read a lot of your stuff, because I just can't bend my mind around Kara/Felix. I really like them hating each other, even from the beginning. I can totally see the attraction, mind you ;) Although I did go and read Wakes you Up at Night, and I can see why you're proud of that one. That was really good.

Thanks for answering!! :)

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Action is definitely winning. :)
I know! There needs to be a workshop or something!

I'm realizing I haven't read a lot of your stuff, because I just can't bend my mind around Kara/Felix. I really like them hating each other, even from the beginning.
I can see it either way. I mean look at Kara and Lee. They love each other but are so nasty to each other at times. I ship both pairings and I didn't care how they treated each other as long as they were on screen together. I know what's going on behind closed doors!! (And beyond the frame in fic.)

I did write quite a bit of Felix/Kara last year. (You haven't seen the half of it, actually. :-)) Now I feel more in a Felix/Lee place. I'll talk about that in my journal shortly. But you know me, I've written Felix/D'Anna, Felix/OFC, I've got to get to that one with him and Seelix someday . . . :-) I'm a total Gaeta multi-shipper.

You like the hating! Like Hoshi and Dee. I like that edge too sometimes, but I like sweetness. Gets me every time, I can't help it. They are all fighting every day to survive and that world was so harsh to them. I like the idea of hard-won, well-deserved comfort. Ooh, you almost make me wish that Felix and Narcho had gotten that after your story. They so deserved it. But I don't think they did.

Thanks for reading my story, even though it's not your favorite pairing. Yeah, I did well with that one, it's good to remember. And thanks for this discussion. It's really got me thinking about my writing.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I DO like the hating :) But not necessarily as the primary focus, unless it does what I'm doing with Hoshi and Dee and turns around into non-hate. (Want to know something wrong? Hoshi and Dee are debating sleeping together in my brain. I have firmly informed them that they're not going to in the fic, because Hoshi belongs to Felix and Dee belongs to Lee, and those are the right words, but they've explained to me that they're BORED in this scene, and whether I like it or not, they're having sex. It's just WRONG.) But yeah- the idea of hard won, well-deserved comfort is good.

I think the reason I like Felix and Kara hating each other is twofold. For one, they're the antithesis of each other. They're about as opposite as you can get, and I like the idea they wouldn't get along. But for two, they aren't that important in each other's lives. They never have been, really. A nemesis is fun, and they make good nemeses for precisely that reason. They can hate each other and it doesn't hurt me because they always hated each other, and Kara's got people who love her and Felix has people who love him, and they can catfight and pull each other's hair and whack each other and no one's heart is broken.

Felix IS totally the little black dress though :)

Ooh, you almost make me wish that Felix and Narcho had gotten that after your story. They so deserved it. But I don't think they did.

Afterlife is canon >:) I have a nasty tendency to kill Noel off via firing squad. Because he was totally Felix's XO in canon.

And yeah, in canon, it's hard to make it work- I'm glad they went with Hoshi. "Sweetie, do me a favor, will you? Go down to the launch tube and off the Admiral" just doesn't say "I love you forever" to me. Even if the boyfriend says yes :)

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Want to know something wrong? Hoshi and Dee are debating sleeping together in my brain. I have firmly informed them that they're not going to in the fic, because Hoshi belongs to Felix and Dee belongs to Lee, and those are the right words, but they've explained to me that they're BORED in this scene, and whether I like it or not, they're having sex. It's just WRONG.
Hee! This made me giggle. It's not wrong!! It's fic! They wanted to have sex in my head too. (Okay, that sounds wrong. :-)) Last summer they were very insistent. I even have snippets. But I didn't know Hoshi's first name then and that pissed Hoshi/Dee muse off then and she flounced away. But you can't fight it. You MUST write it. :-) Seriously, Lee is making out with Kara or something. And Felix isn't over Baltar, right? It's OKAY. :-D

Oooh, don't get me started on Kara/Felix. Or do, actually, because I love them. :-) I truly think one of the reason I ship them is because they are my favorites. I talked about why a bit once here. I actually think there are similarities in their situations and someday that story will get finished! But what you say is true. They can't break each other like Baltar and Lee can. But I like that they can . . . play. I think of them as a safe place for each other. Sort of like in these stories. Until it gets complicated. :-)

And yeah, in canon, it's hard to make it work- I'm glad they went with Hoshi. "Sweetie, do me a favor, will you? Go down to the launch tube and off the Admiral" just doesn't say "I love you forever" to me. Even if the boyfriend says yes :)
HEEEEEE! Okay, I think you just made my day with that. :-D A testament to your writing that I want Narcho to say love like that. I just remember his face with Adama. He just said, "No." Not giving up his beliefs and now in your story not giving up Felix without a fight. I totally think in your world, the guards let them have a last night of conjugal comfort. :-) Then they smoked, Felix talked about his childhood for hours, and then Narcho was carted off to the Astral Queen. But he still thought about Felix until the day he died on Earth 2. Yup.

See? A good story will make me ship my boy with anyone. Did I tell you one of my favorite parts in your story was when they put their heads together through bars of the brig? Guh. I can't take tenderness, especially with someone previously so hard-core. I don't even like canon Narcho! You are good. :-)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

But you can't fight it. You MUST write it. :-) Seriously, Lee is making out with Kara or something. And Felix isn't over Baltar, right?

Actually, now I'm thinking of doing a "Five Sex Scenes that Didn't Take Place in My Universe, and One That Totally Did" story. For the five, it would be Dee/Narcho, Dee/Hoshi, Gaeta/Narcho, either Gaeta/Hoshi/Narcho or Gaeta/Hoshi/Narcho/Dee, and I can't decide on the last one. I was thinking Gaeta/Zarek or Hoshi/Hot Dog, since Youth's Final Luxury and Softly Tread the Sand are both in this continuity, but it would make sense to keep it between the four of them. Edit: DUH! Dee/Gaeta. And the one sex scene that DID happened would be Hoshi/Narcho, immediately post-attacks.

yeah, if you go with Kara and Felix liking each other, I can see the safe place thought easily. And I think that's one of my attractions to Gaeta/Hoshi- Hoshi's also got that place of safety for Felix.

I just remember his face with Adama. He just said, "No."

::sighs and cries:: That's why I keep killing him off in my stories via firing squad. I can understand why they didn't put him in front of the squad in the episode- it really takes away from the moment if there's someone else there. But in my head, there were a few Marines and people who didn't swear loyalty back to Adama and made it very clear their loyalty was still to Felix- and specifically Felix and Zarek. These weren't the people spoiling for the fight like Gage, these were people who fit the description of "Zarek's true believers." And Noel almost killed Adama. I can believe Adama would kill him. ::sniff::

But your version makes me much, much happier. So can Noel get together with Hoshi on Earth 2 in your version? :)

Did I tell you one of my favorite parts in your story was when they put their heads together through bars of the brig?

::Grin:: Thanks :) That was one of my favorites spots, too. Hmm. I need to make a Narcho icon.

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

"Five Sex Scenes that Didn't Take Place in My Universe, and One That Totally Did" story.
Do eeet!!!!! Hee, I'm incorrigible when it comes to smut. Just so you know. :-) I encourage these writings! All of them! And go you with the foursome. Fade to black, be explicit. WHATEVER YOU WANT. :-D Just remember, you haven't written a lot of sex in BSG so it's all new to us! Gaeta/Hoshi/Narcho/Dee? Hee! Only you could write this, you know? Only you. Though others are welcome to go for it too. :-)

So can Noel get together with Hoshi on Earth 2 in your version? :)
In my head? I don't think so, sorry. That relationship would be all about Felix and they both would know it. But I do think of Noel being very, very alone and thinking about the things he'd done. Maybe later, he'd be some wise old dude living on the outskirts of some village. They wouldn't know what he'd done but he'd always remember.

You definitely need an icon. :-)

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

1. technically hard scene... from Nemesis. It has a (totally made up!) background story for how Jean survived the initial attacks on Caprica. This is Jean talking to a Two. She doesn't know that he's a cylon. (No knowledge of skinjobs yet.)

She looked away then started talking; it was easier in the twilight. "There was someone I might have gone to check on in Delphi. Two people, actually. My mother..." Her voice dropped and she blinked rapidly to keep tears from spilling over. "I can't talk about her yet." Gods, with everything else that had happened, she hadn't even started processing that loss; another unopened door. She stopped a moment then continued. "A man. Someone I loved. He betrayed me and I didn't get to do anything. Never got to yell or throw things at him or ask why..."

She glanced at him. After a moment of hesitation he leaned over and touched her hand, patted it gently. She grabbed it like it was a lifeline, like he could pull her out of the morass and she could breathe again. They sat like that for a long time. Taking a deep breath she finally pulled her hand away.

"Maybe it was part of the plan," he said softly. "His path led to your life being spared."

She let out a small laugh that sounded like a sob. "So he frakked another woman so that I'd live. That's just great."

He was undeterred by the sarcasm in her voice. "You're too close to the situation. I can see the patterns that you can't. What you see of yourself is just a reflection but it's not who you really are."

She hugged her knees and listened to his voice as he talked about paths, streams and destiny. It didn't matter, none of it mattered; his speech flowed past her and left her untouched. After a bit she stood up. "I'm going in," she said curtly, and left him outside.

It was difficult to figure out how much to let Jean 'uncompartmentalize' things as she admits to Leoben some of the people she's lost in the cylon nuclear holocaust. Especially since the unnamed man has been her obsession since she never got any closure about their relationship. Plus I wanted to make Leoben somewhat sympathetic but not too human/normal.

'Nemesis' helped me realize that I could, in fact, write dialogue. It's still not the easiest part for me, but I'm getting better.

2. Like a Bad Fairytale wrote itself, after daybreak777 and I had an AIM chat in which the idea of Tory/Leoben babies was batted about. I giggled the whole time I wrote it. (It's short. So only a day of giggling. But I still laugh when I re-read it.)

3. from Jealous Gods (Kara/Sam):

The mudball. Gods, she'd never expected to end up here. No wings, except those tattooed on their arms. No hot water except what they boiled--she actually missed Galactica's piss-poor water pressure in its showers. She made an art of complaining but in some ways she was the happiest she'd ever been.

Parts of Kara that she’d thought she'd left behind, forgotten or buried, poked through the surface. She abandoned the bits that made her Starbuck. Sometimes she felt like she was made of exposed nerve endings, pieces of herself cut away. Other times her happiness was so sharp; she was alive and loved and that’s when she remembered what she gave up for this. She’s ripped herself in two and the halves don’t fit together any more.

I just really like how this came out. Usually I don't think of my prose as being poetic at all but this story somehow came out that way. (Yes, I like my own stories!)

I'm highly amused that I'm participating in this, considering how much more fic you've written. So please take anything useful from this that you might glean, or just ignore it. :-) I had fun looking around at what examples to pick.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I'm highly amused that I'm participating in this, considering how much more fic you've written. So please take anything useful from this that you might glean, or just ignore it. :-) I had fun looking around at what examples to pick.

I'm glad you did! The truth is I'm BORED and also need some new reading material, which is one of the reasons that I invited others to answer. I'm hoping my oldest naps today so I can curl up with Nemesis :) Jean is an underrated character, and I really liked that section. (Also, it totally sounds like you were having similar problems to the problem I was having last night, when you want to have two characters have a deep conversation without giving too much away or making them sound like teenaged girls.)

Thanks for answering! :)

[puszysty.livejournal.com]

1.) This is a tough question for me to answer, because I don't write scene by scene, most of the time anyway. I write bits and pieces of the story, elements I picture right away, then fill in the rest of the scene later. I have a weird writing style, I know. I used to write essays like that too.
I do think technically, besides when I am stuck on a transition, the hardest thing for me to write is sex. It always comes out feeling the same to me, because I'm not familiar with the mechanics and sensations and run out of ways to describe the experience. 3+ person sex (read: orgies) adds another element of difficulty because you've got so many body parts to account for! And yet I've written three of them...

2.) My remix from last year, titled The Bubbling Inside Mix. It's written entirely from the point of view of a jealous possessive lava lamp. How can that not be fun? :D

3.) Perfection. It was written to sort out my feelings about the finale and why the ending made me so mad. I've never done character death before, but honestly the only way for there to be a sense of closure in that fic was for Hoshi to commit suicide. It's such a bleak and hopeless look at Earth2, which I think it what makes it powerful.

It's also all my own philosophy (thus why I was afraid no one would read it).
Like this line: "Perfection isn’t something you can find on a planet Louis. Life- life, can never be perfect.” and this: "I hope they appreciate it. Even if they’re killing each other, and building cylons, and forcing themselves off this planet, I hope they realize how much better life is when you can think.” I think about sums up how I feel about life.

In terms of what other people felt about it, I think this was the big line: “Don’t look at them, baby, you know it only leaves you longing.” There's a lot of mourning in that sentence, both on Hoshi's part, and I think on the part of the reader mourning for the series.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Heh. I have a hard time writing sex, too, and I've had plenty of it. (Although admittedly, not gay male sex.) And it's exactly what you say- I always feel like it comes out sounding the same. If you look at the rare times I don't fade to black, I usually focus on the dialogue with vague descriptions of the actions. (I also find that unless something interesting happens during the sex that affects the rest of the story, writing explicit sex can be a distraction when you're writing plot. The most explicit plot stories I've written have been The Touch of Your Grace, where the sex said a LOT about where Felix and Noel were in their relationship, and a few paragraphs here and there in Youth's Final Luxury, where again, the sex said something about Gaeta/Baltar or about Felix's state of mind.) That was something I thought was neat about your Places fic- that for all that it was a sex piece in it's way, you didn't focus on the Insert Tab A into Slot B aspects and focused on the emotion.

A jealous possessive lava lamp? ::very amused::

Perfection was very powerful. I think this is my favorite question for people to answer, because I think a lot of times they talk about the fics that mean the most to them with it.

Thanks for answering!

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Just popping into say, I think you can write sex well and it doesn't sound the same to me. Like your James/Lily/Sirius/Remus fic. That was totally sexy and unique. Funny, but what I got more out of the story wasn't the sexy writing though that was awesome. But how much you loved those characters ran through the entire story. I couldn't put it down. :-)

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

Baby Pictures!! The swingset scene!!1! *draws sparkles around the hearts I already drew around those*

I'm trying to think of a scene with which I had a hard time technically, and I can't really think of one. Maybe because I pretty much only write when I have a scene in my head, and if I don't have anything to say...I don't. hrm. Action scenes are difficult, which is maybe why I've never done much on my Endor story. I have had emotional scenes, like Jenna's funeral, which took me a while to write because Wedge really didn't want to talk about it... (a Star Wars story that I'll get up this summer, 'cuz I feel like reposting my SW stuff on LJ.)

And then if I talk about the favourite things I wrote...they're again old and not online anymore (though I think I'll start posting the SW stuff very soon, now that I'm not running five ways at once to get teaching stuff done). So as a meaningless-to-all-but-me placeholder I'll say the seaQuest story about Richie's dreams, and the Star Trek story about the Maquis. Of my teeny BSG oevre, I'd probably go with Dualla's Lament--I like the way it turned out. I feel like I did a good job of getting the picutre in my head into words.

Favourite touching scene (BSG): Laird and Felix playing High Card in Sacred Space.

Laird had grown slightly maudlin as they played and drank, but declared himself well rid of the string of beads when he added it to the pot.

Gaeta was reluctant to accept such a valuable bet after Laird confided that it had belonged to his wife, but the assistant deck chief waved him off.

"Truthfully, I could do without it," Laird said in a low voice. "She's gone and I can't do anything about that. I'd rather keep the memories of our previous life than the reminder of having to leave her behind."

Gaeta studied his face. Laird wasn't drunk enough not to mean what he said, so Gaeta merely nodded and put in his own wager, letting the matter drop. At the end of the game, he shook Laird's hand and leaned close to murmur, "The beads will be put to a worthy use." Drawing back to meet his eyes, he could see Laird understood him and was sanguine about Gaeta's intentions.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting one, because I haven't read a lot of your stuff! My antipathy towards Felix/Dee is subsiding, so I'll have to go back and read some of it. I really like that scene with Laird. I never thought about putting Gaeta and Laird in a scene together, and that's interesting. (Especially when you know how Laird dies! Ouch!)

Thanks for answering! :)

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

(Hee, I just watched that ep of WW, and thought of your icon.)

Yeah, back in the day (er...high school?!) I used to write a lot, but I'm not much of a writer anymore. My impulse is to say lack of time, but it's probably mostly lack of inspiration. (which is why BSG surprised me so!) ;-) The Gaeta-Laird scene also solved a problem I was having with that fic (where I was originally going just wasn't working), so double points. And with Laird being an engineer, he's one of the few people in the fleet who could give Felix a run for his money in the math skillz department! I'm pretty sure I wrote it before the mutiny aired, but it does have extra pathos now.

Also, hooray that you posted chapter 6 early! Running right over to read! \o/

[marilla82.livejournal.com]

I don't have enough in my writing repertoire that I'd be willing to share to post anything for this meme. But, I wanted to comment about Sirius speech to James from AIL. THAT speech is one that had me in tears. It's so beautifully painful and sweet and just... It leaves this achy-hollow spot in my chest and just... Yeah. I can't even find words.