FIC: A Lot to Live Up To (Part 9)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 07:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantTitle: A Lot to Live Up To, Part 9
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lls_mutant
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho.
Summary:
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through Rapture
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome betatrovia!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Pain and Heaven
"Are you going to the Dance tonight?" Louis asked as they ran through the halls.
"Of course," Dee said. "You?"
"On duty. Truth be told, I'm not that big a fan of boxing, and Cottle wouldn't let me fight anyway." He wiped his forehead on his tanks. "Not that I'd try. I think the nice, calm, quiet CIC will suit me more tonight. Besides, with you and Helo at the Dance and Felix keeping book, if Adama leaves, the bridge is all mine." He grinned. "I'll take power over getting my ass kicked any day."
"You sound like Noel."
"I'm not that bad."
"Make a hole!" Dee ordered, and they jogged through a group of Marines. "You just don't want to go to the Dance because you're afraid if you put your tags in, I'd call you out and kick your ass in front of everyone."
"You couldn't kick my ass if you tried." Louis began to speed up a little.
"Oh, I so could," Dee laughed, keeping pace with him. "If we got into that ring together, you'd be flat on your back in seconds."
Louis looked around to make sure no one was paying attention, and then looked back at Dee with wide, innocent eyes. "You'd hit a cancer patient?"
"Don't give me that!" Dee said. "You've been in remission for a month!"
"But it was a long, hard battle," Louis said sanctimoniously, or as best as he could manage while panting for breath, "and I'm still recovering. This is the first time I've had the energy to go running."
"And I'm kicking your ass," Dee said.
Louis sped up a little more. "Are not."
Dee grinned. "Are too."
"You couldn't if you tried."
"Oh, I so could."
"Right. First one to CIC wins." And with that, Louis extended his stride and took off.
They were at the opposite end of the ship from the CIC, and Dee smiled at the challenge. She picked up her own pace, trailing Louis just slightly, letting him cut through the knots of people here and there and using the holes he made.
It felt good to run like this. Dee wasn't a runner at heart, but every now and then she could let the endorphins lift her up and take her away, out of the stale, recirculated air and the grays and blues of Galactica life. She could forget the Cylons for a minute, forget last night's fight with Lee and the fact they hadn't had sex in over a week. She could forget the baby, forget the support group, forget the CIC. Forget the dark marks under Felix's eyes, forget the way her heart jumped into her throat every time Noel and Lee took to their Vipers, forget the way they all still exchanged worried glances when Louis went to bed extremely early or said he had a headache. She pounded through the halls, glorying in the speed and the currents of air on her face.
Louis looked back at her over his shoulder, challenging her. Dee picked up the pace. They pelted down the halls, past the mess, past a group of pilots and a squadron of Marines, past people hauling laundry, people with equipment, people talking and laughing and arguing. They rounded the corner in a dead heat, flying by Tigh and Adama.
"You'd better be on duty in a half hour, Lieutenant Hoshi!" Tigh yelled after them.
"Aye, sir!" Louis shouted back, but his breath was coming hard. He and Dee whipped around another corner. Dee hit the CIC door a second before Louis did. "Ha!" she said, bending over, her hands on her knees as she panted for breath. "Told you."
"Only because you cheated," he accused. He grabbed her around the waist. "Back there." He scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder, and Dee shrieked.
"Lieutenants," a very familiar, very superior voice said.
Louis snapped to attention. "Admiral."
"Are you forgetting something, Lieutenant Hoshi?" Adama asked, amused. Belatedly, Louis eased Dee off his shoulder. He set her down, but the blood had gone to her head and Dee lost her balance, landing on her ass with a thump.
Tigh rolled his good eye. "We're not having a bridge bunny fight at the dance tonight, are we?" he demanded. "Because I'll be frakked before I want to watch you two pulling each others' hair."
"I'm on duty tonight, sir," Louis said quickly. Dee looked at him. It was amazing- she didn't think she'd ever meet anyone with Felix's ability to slip in and out of a professional demeanor so thoroughly, but Louis was just as good at it was Felix was.
Tigh noticed it, too. "Well, good," he grunted, eyeing Louis up and down.
Adama chuckled. "Actually, Saul, I think it would be one hell of a fight." He turned back to Dee and Louis. "Mr. Hoshi. Report to me ten minutes before your shift begins. There are a few things I want to go over with you."
"Aye, sir." Louis glanced at his watch. "If you don't mind…"
"Go."
Both Tigh and Adama watched him jog off. Tigh turned back to Dee first. "I take it you're not trying to flush Mr. Hoshi out of an airlock anymore."
Dee winced at his phrasing, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Adama do the same. "No, sir," she said to Tigh. "That's sorted."
"Huh. Good." Tigh turned back to Adama. "You coming down?"
"I'll be there. I want to see how Hoshi does with the bridge for a whole watch."
It had occurred to Dee, back when the Cylons had found them right after she'd gotten out of sickbay, that Adama was subtly sizing up his junior officers, testing them for command. She'd had several opportunities herself, moments here and there where she technically should not have had the deck. But this was the first she'd heard Adama speak of it, and the first time she was aware he was watching Louis as intently as he was watching herself and Felix.
"I'd better get down there as well," Tigh said. He nodded to them both and left. Dee stood awkwardly for a moment.
"Is the Colonel coming back to the CIC soon, sir?" she asked.
"I imagine so," Adama said. "It's not something you can rush." He glanced at her significantly. "Recovery rarely is."
"Right, sir," Dee said, lifting her chin slightly.
Adama sighed heavily. "Dee, there's something else I've been meaning to talk to you about," he said. "Walk with me." Dee fell into step beside him, baffled by the grave, uncertain look on the Admiral's face. They walked through a few corridors until they arrived at his study. He held the door open for her.
"Have a seat," he ordered when they entered. Dee obeyed and looked at him inquisitively. Adama sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I wasn't sure if I should talk to you or to Lee about this, but you're the one I need in the CIC, and you're the one with the clearance."
"Sir?" Dee asked, mystified. Adama looked genuinely uncomfortable.
"This isn't an order I like to give," Adama said. "I don't like to meddle this much in my crew's personal lives, and I also have a vested interest in this one. But I think we need to be clear on it." He cleared his throat and picked up a pen, looking down at the paper on his desk. "Cottle tells me that a woman who's suffered an ectopic pregnancy can try again for a baby after three months. He also tells me that while Lieutenant Hoshi is in remission, there's a significant chance the cancer could return. Hoshi himself tells me that he doesn't consider himself truly in remission until six months have gone by, after which the chance of the cancer returning drops dramatically."
Dee saw where he was going. "You want me to put off getting pregnant until Hoshi's officially in remission, sir? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying." Adama looked up. "I can run the CIC without either of you. It's a hell of a lot easier if I don't have to. As much as I'd like that grandchild," he flashed a little half-grin, "it's something that has to wait."
"Unless we find Earth, first," Dee said.
Adama blinked. "Right," he said. "Unless we find Earth, first."
"Yes, sir."
"All right. You're dismissed. I'll see you at the Dance."
Dee left the study, and as she did, she wondered why the Admiral's order didn't hurt at all.
***
The Dance was savage. Dee was enjoying it immensely, especially when she won a few cubits betting on Noel in a bout against one of the other pilots.
That all evaporated when Kara called Lee up to the ring.
***
Dee didn't want to go back to her quarters, but she wasn't sure where else to go. And sure enough, when she went back, the room was empty.
She sat down on the bed, her hands falling uselessly into her lap. Her stomach was twisted into knots, because she honestly didn't know what was going to happen when Lee walked in that door tonight. Because that fight with Kara… she'd seen a lot of fights tonight, but nothing remotely that passionate. And none of them ended with a long embrace, either.
You're overreacting, she told herself. You're overreacting. But at the same time, she'd seen Anders's face, too, and the look of naked sympathy on Felix's face. She didn't know which one was real.
It was late when he came back. He was clean, with a small bandage on a cut on his cheek, his hair still damp from the shower. He opened the hatch quietly, spotted her, and then entered with an air of overcompensated confidence.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, dropping a kiss on her hair. "I went and saw Cottle."
"I see," Dee said. Her voice came out frosty, and she couldn't look up at him.
Lee sighed heavily. "All right," he said. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Dee tried.
"No, something's bothering you. I did something wrong tonight, didn't I? Let me guess. I fought Helo?" Dee gave him a dirty look. "No, it has nothing to do with Helo then. Which is just as well, since Helo beat the shit out of me."
Dee sighed. "Maybe we should just go to bed."
"No. No, you've got something to say, Dee. Let's hear it."
"Lee-"
"Kara." Lee clapped his hands down on the table, rolling his eyes and then turning away.
"I didn't say anything about Kara," Dee said, biting each word out.
"Yeah, but you were thinking it, weren't you?"
"No, I wasn't. Should I be, after watching the two of you beat the shit out of each other?" Dee arched her eyebrows.
"That's right," Lee agreed, "we beat the shit out of each other." He sighed. "I'm going to bed."
"I'm coming, too." Dee stood up. Lee turned around and looked at her like she was trailing him, but Dee met his eyes evenly. He shrugged, and then pulled off his clothing and slipped into bed. Dee climbed in after him.
They lay side by side, not touching at all.
***
"I'm sorry," Lee said the next morning, easing his sore body out of bed. "I really bit your head off last night."
"I'm sorry, too," Dee apologized. "I guess it did seem kind of accusing."
"Let's just forget it, all right?" Lee asked. "The whole thing was just strange."
Dee nodded enthusiastically.
***
"Are things okay with Lee?" Felix asked her two days later.
"Yeah, everything's fine," Dee said. Felix looked skeptical. "What?"
"Nothing. Just… I saw the look on your face when you were watching him and Kara fight at the Dance."
"I overreacted," Dee said lightly. After all, Lee had been quite attentive the past two days, not acting like anything had changed. So why should she believe it had?
"Yeah," Felix said. "That's what I used to say when Gaius brought home interns."
"Lee is not like Baltar, Felix. He's capable of thinking with more than his dick."
Felix shrugged. "You said yourself he had a thing for Kara."
Dee sighed. "It's been a long time. But more than that, we're married now. I can believe a lot of things about Lee Adama, but that he'd break a vow that he made? No. That's not Lee."
"You really believe in him, don't you?" Felix asked.
"Of course," Dee said stoically. "If I can't believe in my own husband, what can I believe in?"
"Good question," Felix agreed. "I just hope you're right."
"I am," Dee insisted, ignoring the little voice that said, yeah, me too.
***
"I see the guys were here again tonight," Lee said dryly, as Dee picked up the glasses.
"You know, you're welcome to join us," Dee offered, yet again.
Lee shook his head. "Sorry. They're good guys, Dee, but I don't have much in common with them."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for starters, when I eat with the four of you in the mess, I'm the only one who doesn't turn their head when a good-looking guy walks by."
Dee giggled. "I guess not. What else?"
"No offense, and maybe he's not like this around you, but Narcho's a bit of an ass."
"He is around the pilots," Dee agreed. "He's more toned down when he's not."
"But I'm a pilot," Lee pointed out.
"I see your point. But what about Felix? You two have a lot in common. Starting," Dee said dryly, "with your affection for a certain Sagittaron politician."
Lee snorted. "I wouldn't say I have any affection for Tom Zarek. I just understand him, and sometimes- on occasion- he is right. But come on, Dee, Gaeta and I are nothing alike. He's military, through and through. I don't care that he was in the civilian government on New Caprica- he's still a true soldier."
"So are you." Lee smiled indulgently, but didn't answer. "Louis? I seem to remember you arguing he was a good guy."
"And he is. They're all good guys, Dee, but they just aren't my kind of people. Besides," he said, sitting on the bed and grinning mischievously, "I have a bit of a secret project going."
"A secret project?"
"A long time ago, I promised the pilots if we ever found Earth- or even some habitable rock- I'd build them a bar. I didn't on New Caprica, but…" he looked at the table where Dee had been sitting earlier with her friends. "It's good for people to have a place to congregate, blow off some steam."
"It is." Dee laughed. "Oddly enough, I was never a fan of bars."
"No?" Lee asked.
"Noise, smoke, and rude people spilling drinks on you was never my idea of a good time," Dee admitted.
"Yeah," Lee said, and there might have been a stiffness in his voice. "Well, it keeps me busy, at any rate."
There was something plaintive in his voice, and Dee smiled understandingly. "I'm glad," she said. She put down the glasses and went over to the bed, and Lee draped his arm around her waist. "You know," she said, setting across his lap, "there are things that both of us agree are fun."
"Oh yeah?" Lee asked, raising his eyebrows. "Like what?"
Dee kissed him. He hesitated for a moment, and then kissed her back. It was tentative and gentle, like their sex had been a lot ever since the pregnancy, but soon enough it wasn't. And Dee was right- it was fun.
They lay together afterwards, not talking much. But the silence didn't feel strained; instead, it was companionable. Sex and its aftermath hadn't felt this good in a long, long time. Dee stretched, contented. Things were finally getting back to where they should be.
***
"Look," Dee said, trying to keep her patience as she shoved the schematics in front of Louis two weeks later. "I just don't see why we can't reroute the auxiliary power from the main-"
"Because," Louis said with exaggerated patience, "this capacitor here," he jabbed at a symbol with a long finger, "won't take it."
"But if we-"
"Dee, it's just not possible, okay?"
"But you're not listening to what I'm saying!"
"I don't need to! I see it here on the paper, plain as day!"
Dee bit her lip. She and Louis had been getting on so well recently that sometimes it was hard to remember how Louis got when he was convinced he was right. And right now, Dee was about ready to tear her hair out… or his. She glared at him, uncharitably thinking of what an improvement it would be. His close crop was growing out again, and it looked absolutely terrible.
"Make a hole!" someone shouted.
Both Dee and Louis stepped back, and Lee and Kara ran by. They were racing, judging by Kara's delighted squeals and the way they were laughing. Dee watched them sourly, and tried to ignore the shaft of fear that shot through her.
"He's making a total fool of himself," she said, as Lee chased Kara through the halls.
"We go running together three times a week," Louis pointed out. "I seem to remember picking you up outside the CIC." Dee glared at him. "What?" Louis asked. "I'm just saying… oh, never mind. You aren't going to listen to a word I say. You haven't been all day."
"What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing." Louis stuffed the schematics back into his folder. "I actually honestly meant what I said. Some people do, you know."
"Frak off, Louis," Dee said crossly.
"Now that's the best idea you've had all day." He glanced at his watch. "I'm due with the Admiral anyway."
"Well tell him we need to reroute the-" Dee would have continued, but Louis was walking away, and he waved his hand dismissively at her. "Right," Dee said, watching him go. She sighed irritably and walked back down the hall, the opposite direction.
She tried not to think about how Lee and Kara had been laughing. The only reason she noticed it was because it contrasted so sharply with her own bad mood.
After all, marriage was all about trust.
***
"I heard a strange thing today," she told Lee that night as he folded the laundry.
"Yeah?"
"Seelix told me that the rumors that you and Kara are frakking started up again."
Lee laughed, although his laughter seemed fake. Was it her imagination? "Well, considering today I heard that you and Hoshi got caught in the head…."
"Me and Hoshi?" Dee laughed. "Who told you that?"
"That would be your friend Narcho."
Dee sighed. "I told him not to do that."
Lee paused in folding a shirt and looked over at where she was sitting on the bed. "You know about this?"
"Noel's trying to up the stakes," Dee said, rolling her eyes. "He's got money on Felix and Louis getting together."
Lee shrugged in that careless way he had that meant he really wasn't all that interested. "Well, that proves right there how crazy the rumor mill is," he said. "When I heard that one about you and Hoshi, I laughed. Because I know you, and I know that I can trust you. Even if you and Hoshi have been spending a lot of time together. Even if you won't tell me what half your conversations are about. I love you and I trust you, so I don't ask." But he looked at her expectantly.
Dee stared at him open-mouthed. "I don't believe you," she said. "That's exactly what you're doing right now, isn't it? You're asking me if there's something going on between me and Hoshi?"
"Well, isn't that what you were doing when we started this conversation?" Lee shot back. "Trying to ask without asking if there's something going on between me and Kara?"
Guilt flooded her, but she held her ground. "There's nothing going on with me and Louis," she said evenly.
"And there's nothing going on with me and Kara," he said, looking angry.
"Good."
"Good." He shoved the last tank into the drawer. "So next time your insecurities are acting up, just come out and ask me, okay?"
"Fine."
Lee sighed heavily. "Let's just forget it, okay, Dee?"
"Fine."
Lee shook his head and finished putting his laundry away, and then sat down to work on his pilot rotation. Dee watched him for a moment, and tried to tell herself that forgetting it was exactly what she should do.
So why couldn't she?
***
It turned out that even if Dee couldn't forget the rumors about her husband and Kara, she didn't have time to actually think about them. Not after the food supply was contaminated, and the rations dwindled down to nothing.
"They're sending you all through the star cluster?" Louis said, drinking a glass of water like it would help. "You're kidding."
"You heard the plan, Louis," Felix said crossly. "Stop asking the same question."
"Yeah, I really don't need it rubbed in," Noel groused. "It's not like I want to do this. But if there's food on the other side… I mean, right now, even algae sounds good."
"It's insane," Louis said. "Radiation is just… tell you what. I'll fly for you."
"You don't have wings, Louis," Dee reminded him. Her stomach was cramping and she felt weak, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. And if these three idiots would just shut up about it, it would make it much easier.
"They should send me," Louis mumbled, sitting back. "What's the radiation going to do? Give me cancer?"
Noel smacked him in the back of the head. "First of all, asshole, you're in remission. Secondly, don't frakking joke about it right now, okay?"
"It's been a bad enough week between the food situation and Tigh coming back to the CIC," Felix agreed, his chin resting on his crossed arms. He glared at Louis. "And don't think I didn't see you clapping," he said crossly.
"Felix, the guy is my superior officer, and I'm not supposed to know about the Circle," Louis snapped. "Lay off, all right?"
"Circle?" Noel said.
"It's nothing," Felix said, right as Dee said, "Don't worry about it." Noel shook his head.
"Gods, we need to eat. But if we resort to cannibalism, I vote we eat Felix first."
It was a sign of how hungry and tired they all were that no one kicked Noel under the table. Dee sighed and pushed herself to her feet. "I've got to go play tour guide," she said. "Don't eat each other while I'm gone."
She walked down the corridor and saw Lee. He was in his flight suit and talking to Kara, their heads close together and urgent. But when Dee approached, all she heard was talk about stims and coordinates and radiation and throttles.
Hungry and tired. That's what they all were, and it was bringing out the worst in everyone, including her. She told herself not to be paranoid and continued on to her job.
***
"You're heading up the algae supply mission," the Admiral informed Lee. "I've got some Marines and one of Tyrol's crews down there right now, but they're not organized. They're just getting us started as fast as they can."
"Yes, sir," Lee said. Dee studied him. It wasn't a typical assignment for a CAG, dealing with a planet-side mission. She would have expected Adama to put Helo or Tyrol himself in charge. But Lee actually seemed pleased at the idea.
"Dee will be your second," Adama continued.
Lee stiffened, barely glancing at Dee. "Sir, that's not really necessary."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we don't really know what's down there on that planet," Lee said. "I'd rather Dee stayed where it's safe. After all…"
Adama glowered at Lee, and Lee subsided into silence. "She's a soldier," he reminded Lee, and Dee lifted her chin and met the Old Man's gaze proudly. "Besides, with all the radiation, the equipment is really giving us some flack. You need someone who knows communications."
"So, send Hoshi. Not my wife," Lee said.
"Hoshi's not an option," Tigh growled. "You'll take it and like it, Major."
Adama clapped Lee on the arm. "Look at it this way, you never got a chance for a honeymoon. Beautiful planet, lots of blue sky and green scenery…"
"If pumping algae qualifies as your idea of romance, sir," Lee began with a smile, and even Tigh chuckled at that.
"You're dismissed," Adama informed them both.
***
"I don't get it," Lee complained as they made their way back to their own quarters. "Why you?"
"Why not?" Dee asked, annoyed. "I was your XO on the Pegasus."
"They'll need you up here on the ship."
"Why is this such an issue for you?" Dee asked, stopping suddenly. "It's a good command opportunity for me, and it's a chance where we might actually spend a little time together. Granted, an algae planet isn't exactly what I had in mind, but still."
Lee sighed and turned to face her, rubbing her arm. "You've been through enough already. I just don't want anything to happen to you," he said. "And I can't shake the feeling that this planet is bad news." He patted her shoulder. "I'm going to go start getting my rosters ready," he said.
"Yeah, bad news is right," Dee said, watching him go. She wished she wasn't thinking there was another reason Lee didn't want her to go.
***
"This stuff is disgusting," Noel said, chewing it thoroughly. "But it's still the best frakking thing I ever ate in my life."
"No kidding," Felix forked over another blob, and then looked around the quarters. "Where's Lee, Dee?"
"Talking to the squadron leaders," Dee said. "He's got a lot to do before we leave tomorrow morning." Felix and Noel exchanged glances, and Louis didn't look up from his bowl. Dee ignored them. "I'm glad we were able to eat in here," she said. "The mess hall was packed."
"Yeah," Noel said carelessly. "Kind of like right after New Caprica."
Felix winced and glared at Noel. Louis rubbed his shoulder gently, and Noel watched them, chewing idly.
"What?" Louis demanded.
"You two are frakking each other, aren't you?"
Felix blushed, but Louis met Noel's gaze evenly. "What of it?" he said finally.
"I'm just not understanding why you're acting like it's some big secret."
Felix was the one who spoke up. "Because the minute the rumor mill gets a hold of it, then there are expectations, and it becomes more than occasional sex between friends."
"Yeah, well, it is obviously more," Noel said, chewing laconically now.
"It's not," Louis insisted. "Not yet." Felix looked down at his bowl.
"What are you waiting for?" Noel demanded.
"The six month mark." Louis's eyes narrowed. "For a damn good reason." The tone of his voice was so frosty that Dee looked down at her own plate, and Noel even shut his mouth. Dee glanced up at him, and noticed that Noel's lips were pressed together so hard that the skin was turning white at the corners of his mouth.
Felix cleared his throat. "So the Old Man is sending you down as Lee's second in command," he said to Dee. "That's big."
"I guess," Dee said, shrugging. "Lee's not happy about it, though. He was campaigning for Louis."
"For me?" Louis asked. "Why?"
"No offense, but that's what I was wondering, too," Dee said sourly. "He kept going on about it being too dangerous. What a load of shit."
Felix seemed very interested in his plate, and Noel cleared his throat and opened his mouth. "Don't say it," Dee warned. "I know you're thinking it's a great chance for some privacy, but don't say it."
Noel broke the silence. "The thing is, Dee," he said slowly, "I'm not saying that I have, but if I heard something… would you want to know?"
"No. Not if you heard anything, Mr. I-heard-Hoshi-and-Dee-were-caught-in-the-head." She fixed him with a stern glare, and Noel had the grace to flush. But he wouldn't be deterred.
"What if it wasn't a rumor, though?" Noel asked. "What if I knew for sure? I don't," he added hastily.
Dee twirled her fork in her hands, looking from Felix to Louis. The air was charged with pain, and Dee wondered what was possessing them to have this conversation. Felix was still trying to eat, chewing mechanically, but Louis had given up any pretense of it and was off into the distance, his face blank. "If you knew for sure? If you saw something with your own eyes?" she asked, trying to think, and then she sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd want to know. I don't know what I'd do about it, but I'd want to know."
The four of them sat in silence. "I guess it's a good thing no one's speaking?" Dee said, when the oppressive atmosphere got too much to bear.
Felix stood up. "I think I've had enough," he said. "I need to get to the lab to take a look at some samples that Tyrol shipped up." He paused, and then leaned down and kissed Louis on the cheek. Louis closed his eyes, but other than that he didn't react.
Noel stood up as well. "I guess I should get going as well," he said. "I was hoping that now that we all have something in our stomachs we could get rip roaring drunk tonight, but something tells me that wouldn't be much fun." He grabbed his dishes and followed Felix out of the hatch.
Dee studied Hoshi. He'd picked up his fork again. "Are you all right?" she asked cautiously.
"Fine," Louis said, stabbing the fork into the bowl. "Just fine."
"Are you okay with this?"
"It's not anything I need to be okay with. It's your life, Dee."
"No, I'm changing the subject. Sorry, I should have been more clear. Are you okay with me getting this assignment over you?"
Louis made a face. "Well, no, because the reason I'm not getting it is because of Cottle. It's too physical for me right now. I can't say I really like the fact I'm still dealing with the cancer, even if it's technically in remission."
"And if it wasn't?"
Louis shrugged. "It's different this time, Dee. Don't beat yourself up over it."
"So you've forgiven me for being XO on the Pegasus?"
"I didn't say that," Louis said, but he flashed a tiny smile. "I'll concede that you didn't intentionally sleep your way into the position, and yes, you did a good job. We wouldn't be sitting here together right now if you hadn't. But yes, I still think I should have had the position from the start." He shrugged again. "But maybe it's not your fault."
"Gee. Thanks."
"And yes, for the record, I'm horribly jealous that you're getting to go instead of me. But at least this time there's a reason, and as much as I'd like to, I can't change it. Besides," he sighed, taking another forkful, "I have a feeling this mission is going to be bad news for you."
"Funny," Dee said, although it really wasn't. "That's exactly what Lee said, too."
***
The planet was hot, humid, and muddy. Dee stepped off the Raptor and had to take several deep breaths as the atmosphere assaulted her lungs. The stench didn’t help, either. Lee stepped off beside her, looking around. "Looks like they've got a good start," he said.
Tyrol's crews were moving around in the valley below them, sucking up the algae with a giant tube. It was alarming how much the finished product looked like the raw stuff. "And there's nothing else edible on this planet?" she asked Lee. "No wildlife? No berries or root vegetation?"
"Nothing that's going to feed an entire fleet," Tyrol said, approaching them. "Major. Lieutenant." He saluted. "The wildlife we've spotted so far has been small. We don't have the resources to do any large scale fishing, and with the Cylons still looking for us, we don't have time to do anything else but get as much of this crap as we can off the planet."
Lee sighed. "Good answer," he said. "Not my favorite, but good answer." He looked around. "Well, let's go get started."
Tyrol grinned at them. "We already are."
***
To Dee's surprise, despite the oppressive heat, the humidity, the little blood-sucking insects that left itchy welts, and the horrible stench, she liked this assignment. Oddly enough, it reminded her of basic, when she'd first been so full of fire for the military ideals, and so determined to serve and protect. Not that she didn't still feel that way, but this was more the kind of mission the television commercials had promised.
"What I don't get," Cally sighed as she and Dee eased a pipe into yet another swath of algae, "is why this has to be a military mission. Unless the squirrels are organizing themselves for a ruthless attack, it seems sort of overkill, doesn't it? Let some of the civvies do the dirty work for a change."
"Hey!" Sam Anders put in from over by the pump. "Some of us are civvies."
Dee laughed. "At least we got first dibs," she pointed out. "It may taste like swamp rot, but I won't complain that my stomach's full again."
Cally sighed, deftly attaching a connection. "You know what the worst of it is?" she asked. "This is going to be all of it. Algae, morning, noon, and night. Algae bars, algae meatloaf, mashed algae…"
"Steamed algae," Anders picked up. "Roasted algae, algae casserole, algae a la king…."
"Algae soup!" Cally continued gleefully. "Algae fricassee, algae sauté, algae puffs, algae soufflé…"
"I think you need eggs to make a soufflé," Dee said.
Anders ignored that. "What about deep-fried algae?" he asked Cally. "Or algae melts? Prime roast algaeloaf, sliced thin, served on algae bread with an algae cheese melted on top."
"And dried algae chips on the side?"
"Pickled algae!"
Cally was giggling so hard that she could barely talk. Anders was laughing and smiling, and even Dee couldn't help it. She started to laugh as well. But she couldn't look straight at Anders, and she couldn't help noticing he didn’t meet her eyes, either.
"What's the joke?" Lee said, appearing behind Anders.
Anders looked over his shoulder. "Nothing, Major," he said casually. "Cally, I think I've got this sucker ready to go."
"Well, flip it on, then."
Anders flipped a switch and the operation roared to life. The noise of it made it impossible to talk, and Dee found herself watching Lee, even as she held the heavy tube steady. Lee was standing next to Anders, but just a shade too far from where he should have been for comfortable conversation. And Anders seemed far too interested in the workings of the pump.
He'd heard the same rumors, too, then.
Anders looked up and caught her staring, and gave her a tiny smile that conveyed a world of understanding, and a little solidarity.
She smiled back.
***
"Dee. Can you give me a hand here?"
Dee climbed up the hill, where Anders was struggling with a long length of hose section. "Sure," she said. "What do you need?"
"Just a second pair of hands," Anders said. "If we're gonna get this moved, it would be a lot easier if this hose was coiled. But every time I try…" he gestured to where the hose kinked.
"No problem," Dee said, and bent to the work.
They made short work of it, with Dee unraveling the hose as Anders coiled it. "Thanks," Anders said. He stood up, stretching out his back. "Hell of a mission, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Dee agreed. She stood next to him, and they surveyed the small camp set up below them, the green planet, and the sheer bluffs that surrounded them. "You know," Dee sighed, "it's not a bad little planet."
"If you can get away from the stench," Anders agreed. "Too bad the Cylons would find us."
"I'm almost surprised they haven't already. That's just how our luck goes."
"Yeah."
They looked at each other, and Anders clapped a hand on Dee's shoulder for a moment. His hand was strong and firm, heavily callused with dirty bitten fingernails. "What would you do if we didn't have to run, though?" he asked, his hand falling back to his side. "If we were staying here, and the threat of the Cylons was gone?"
"Last time I got married. And I stayed on the Pegasus," Dee mused.
"Yeah?"
"I don't know if I'd stay there again."
Anders gave her a half-grin. "I would," he admitted.
"You'd stay?"
"Frak, yeah. Sometimes, things are important. And walking away from them just hurts more than it does to stay with it."
"You think?" Dee asked.
"Yeah. I do."
They were both silent, but the silence was companionable as they surveyed the planet. At least, it was until a motion caught Dee's eye. Lee and Kara were running towards the base camp. Dee grabbed Anders's wrist.
"Oh, frak," she said, pointing to them. "There's no way that can be good."
***
After the briefing, Dee hustled to catch up with the pilot walking away. "Starbuck! Starbuck! Captain Thrace!"
Starbuck turned, a slightly mocking smile on her face and a shifty look in her eye. "What do you want, Lieutenant?" she asked.
"Do you have a problem with something I said?" Dee demanded.
Kara's eyebrow cocked up. "I have a problem with a jumped up NCO telling me how to fly recon, yes."
"And it didn't occur to you that, in a roomful of civilians, it just might be a good idea to be explicit about what everyone's supposed to be doing?" Dee demanded.
Kara looked at her, and then burst out laughing. "You and Sam should get along great," she said. "Yeah, I've got a problem with it. The frakking civvies don't have to know every move I make, and it only wastes time."
"Well, until you're in command here, you will keep your mouth shut while I'm giving orders. Is that clear, Captain?"
"Crystal, Lieutenant. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go prep my Raptor." She turned on her heel and stalked off.
The fire of combat filled Dee, and for once she was glad that Louis had been such a pain in the ass on the Pegasus. Kara might think she was a hard case, but she wasn't half the bitch that Louis could be. Smiling grimly, Dee turned back to the bunker to get her gun.
***
The wounded Raptor left a streak of flame and smoke across the blue sky. Dee watched it, her heart pounding.
"Starbuck's been hit! I say again, Starbuck's going down!" Dee shouted into the comm unit.
And all she could think was Good.
***
There was no time for sentiment, and no time for anger. Dee was a soldier, and she was at war. Centurions were on this planet, had shot down Sergeant Fischer. And the fact that her own husband had ordered her to save what she suspected was his mistress…
No, she told herself, can't think like that. She's a Colonial pilot, I'm the closest source of help. She climbed over the brush towards the Raptor. She faced it, squared her shoulders, and crept towards the door.
"Starbuck? Star –" A gun appeared in her face.
Kara looked anything but happy to see her. "Dee, why the hell didn't you sing out? I almost blew you away."
"Yeah. Glad to see you too."
Dee had never wanted to kill a human more.
***
What was the appeal? she wondered as she sat by Kara, trying to repair the Raptor. The job wouldn't have been that hard if it hadn't been for the proximity of this woman. Why was Dee so threatened? It wasn't like they were anything alike. She wasn't a younger version of Dee. Although Dee was realistic enough to know that she and Lee were having a rough spot in their marriage, she couldn't honestly believe that Kara was the kind to listen and provide comfort. Their sex life had deteriorated a little since the pregnancy, but it was rebounding. All those reasons people cheated… they just weren't there.
But then, Dee thought guiltily as she twisted a pair of wires together, Billy had been everything she'd thought she wanted, too. And it wasn't like Lee was smarter or more compassionate. It had been something undeniable that had drawn her to Lee over Billy, not something that she could hold up as an example.
Frak.
Kara convulsed with pain. Dee checked the kit and gave her a morpha shot, hard, in the leg. Gods, that felt good. "There's only one left," she told her. "Better save it for when you fly us out of here."
"I can't fly," Kara gasped. "Especially all whacked up on morpha."
"Well, that's just frakkin' great."
"He won't cheat," Kara said suddenly, looking loopy. "He's too honorable."
He's too honorable implied opportunity. It implied desire. And it implied duty. Dee couldn't bear to think about it, especially not now. Not with her own life at stake, not with her job at stake. But she couldn't resist biting off, "Unlike you."
"Yeah, unlike me," Kara agreed. " I love Sam, I hate Sam. I love Lee, I hate Lee. Gods, I have to cheat just to keep the pieces all nice and neat."
Kara started to drift off, and Dee didn't pretend there was a great deal of pleasure in slapping her into consciousness. "Stay with it," she ordered. "You've still got to walk me through these avionics." She glared at Kara. "And not one more word about Lee or Sam, got it?"
Kara nodded.
What was annoying, Dee thought, was that even high on morpha, Kara could explain this. It helped that Dee was a quick study and understood much of it already, but the nagging traitor voice in her head muttered that maybe they could have made a decent team. She pictured Lee watching them, grinning with pride, and the image only made her more furious.
"That's it," she said, clicking on the Raptor. That much she knew how to do. "All right," she said, growling deep in her throat. "Let's get out of here."
Kara nodded, and to Dee's surprise, there was a flash of pride in her eyes. Odd, really, that Kara might feel the same way.
***
He won't cheat. He's too honorable.
Kara's words rung in Dee's head even as Lee turned to see her standing by the Raptor, even as he came over, pulling her into his arms and kissing her, cradling her close. Too honorable to cheat.
Lee's body was pressed against hers, warm and solid, and she was fitting perfectly into his arms. They were both so relieved to see the other alive, both so grateful they'd made it off the planet in time and without any injury from the Cylon attack. And yet… he'd still ordered her to risk her life for Kara's, she'd still been told that Lee was too honorable to cheat.
She tried to force it from her mind. After all, if Lee wasn't cheating, she had won.
***
The Admiral caught her on her way to the showers. "Lieutenant Dualla," he said, formally, "that was some good work that you did. Both down on the planet, and piloting the Raptor back up."
"Thank you, sir," Dee said.
Adama's smile widened. "No one could have done better," he said, and Dee's heart flared with joy at what passed for extremely high praise. He winked at her, and then saluted. She saluted back.
He walked down the hall, and she watched him for a moment. Then she headed back to the showers with a smile and a spring in her step.
***
There was a knock at the hatch, and when Dee answered it, Louis stood there, stiff and formal in his duty blues. She began to smile, but his face was deadly serious, and her smile leached away. "What is it, Louis?" she asked.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course." Dee stepped aside. Louis glanced behind him and then closed the door. There were no smiles, and Louis didn't move to sit. He stood in front of her, at attention. Dee suddenly realized this wasn't Louis- this was Lieutenant Hoshi of the Pegasus. "Is something wrong?" Dee asked, her heart beginning to beat faster.
Louis just swallowed, staring at the wall. "You said," he finally began, "that if any of us heard anything- direct from the source- to let you know. When Captain Thrace landed her Raptor at 0930 hours this morning, she neglected to turn off the comm unit, although I'm sure she thought she had."
Dee's heart stopped, and then lurched into a faster staccato again. "Continue," she said evenly.
"I heard Major Adama join her, and what followed was proof that they are intimately involved." Louis still wouldn't even look at Dee. "They did confirm that they have not yet actually consummated the relationship, but the Major said…" Louis cleared his throat, "Major Adama indicated interest in seeking a divorce." Dee's ears began to buzz, and Louis was blinking hard. "Captain Thrace dismissed that plan, and they were apparently left at an impasse."
Dee opened her mouth, but no words came and she closed it again. Finally, she heard herself saying, "Thank you, Lieutenant Hoshi."
He looked at her, and there was a wealth of pain and sympathy in his eyes. "Do you need anything, Lieutenant?" he asked, gentling a little. "I could get Lieutenant Gaeta."
"No. No, I'm fine. Thank you."
Louis nodded and snapped a small salute. "I'll see myself out."
The hatch clanged shut behind him.
On to Part 10
Author:
lls_mutantRating: PG-13
Characters: Dee and Hoshi
Pairings: Dee/Lee, Hoshi/Gaeta, and past Hoshi/Narcho.
Summary:
Spoilers: Eventually through the end, but this part just through Rapture
Author's Note: Thanks to my awesome beta
trovia!Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Pain and Heaven
"Are you going to the Dance tonight?" Louis asked as they ran through the halls.
"Of course," Dee said. "You?"
"On duty. Truth be told, I'm not that big a fan of boxing, and Cottle wouldn't let me fight anyway." He wiped his forehead on his tanks. "Not that I'd try. I think the nice, calm, quiet CIC will suit me more tonight. Besides, with you and Helo at the Dance and Felix keeping book, if Adama leaves, the bridge is all mine." He grinned. "I'll take power over getting my ass kicked any day."
"You sound like Noel."
"I'm not that bad."
"Make a hole!" Dee ordered, and they jogged through a group of Marines. "You just don't want to go to the Dance because you're afraid if you put your tags in, I'd call you out and kick your ass in front of everyone."
"You couldn't kick my ass if you tried." Louis began to speed up a little.
"Oh, I so could," Dee laughed, keeping pace with him. "If we got into that ring together, you'd be flat on your back in seconds."
Louis looked around to make sure no one was paying attention, and then looked back at Dee with wide, innocent eyes. "You'd hit a cancer patient?"
"Don't give me that!" Dee said. "You've been in remission for a month!"
"But it was a long, hard battle," Louis said sanctimoniously, or as best as he could manage while panting for breath, "and I'm still recovering. This is the first time I've had the energy to go running."
"And I'm kicking your ass," Dee said.
Louis sped up a little more. "Are not."
Dee grinned. "Are too."
"You couldn't if you tried."
"Oh, I so could."
"Right. First one to CIC wins." And with that, Louis extended his stride and took off.
They were at the opposite end of the ship from the CIC, and Dee smiled at the challenge. She picked up her own pace, trailing Louis just slightly, letting him cut through the knots of people here and there and using the holes he made.
It felt good to run like this. Dee wasn't a runner at heart, but every now and then she could let the endorphins lift her up and take her away, out of the stale, recirculated air and the grays and blues of Galactica life. She could forget the Cylons for a minute, forget last night's fight with Lee and the fact they hadn't had sex in over a week. She could forget the baby, forget the support group, forget the CIC. Forget the dark marks under Felix's eyes, forget the way her heart jumped into her throat every time Noel and Lee took to their Vipers, forget the way they all still exchanged worried glances when Louis went to bed extremely early or said he had a headache. She pounded through the halls, glorying in the speed and the currents of air on her face.
Louis looked back at her over his shoulder, challenging her. Dee picked up the pace. They pelted down the halls, past the mess, past a group of pilots and a squadron of Marines, past people hauling laundry, people with equipment, people talking and laughing and arguing. They rounded the corner in a dead heat, flying by Tigh and Adama.
"You'd better be on duty in a half hour, Lieutenant Hoshi!" Tigh yelled after them.
"Aye, sir!" Louis shouted back, but his breath was coming hard. He and Dee whipped around another corner. Dee hit the CIC door a second before Louis did. "Ha!" she said, bending over, her hands on her knees as she panted for breath. "Told you."
"Only because you cheated," he accused. He grabbed her around the waist. "Back there." He scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder, and Dee shrieked.
"Lieutenants," a very familiar, very superior voice said.
Louis snapped to attention. "Admiral."
"Are you forgetting something, Lieutenant Hoshi?" Adama asked, amused. Belatedly, Louis eased Dee off his shoulder. He set her down, but the blood had gone to her head and Dee lost her balance, landing on her ass with a thump.
Tigh rolled his good eye. "We're not having a bridge bunny fight at the dance tonight, are we?" he demanded. "Because I'll be frakked before I want to watch you two pulling each others' hair."
"I'm on duty tonight, sir," Louis said quickly. Dee looked at him. It was amazing- she didn't think she'd ever meet anyone with Felix's ability to slip in and out of a professional demeanor so thoroughly, but Louis was just as good at it was Felix was.
Tigh noticed it, too. "Well, good," he grunted, eyeing Louis up and down.
Adama chuckled. "Actually, Saul, I think it would be one hell of a fight." He turned back to Dee and Louis. "Mr. Hoshi. Report to me ten minutes before your shift begins. There are a few things I want to go over with you."
"Aye, sir." Louis glanced at his watch. "If you don't mind…"
"Go."
Both Tigh and Adama watched him jog off. Tigh turned back to Dee first. "I take it you're not trying to flush Mr. Hoshi out of an airlock anymore."
Dee winced at his phrasing, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Adama do the same. "No, sir," she said to Tigh. "That's sorted."
"Huh. Good." Tigh turned back to Adama. "You coming down?"
"I'll be there. I want to see how Hoshi does with the bridge for a whole watch."
It had occurred to Dee, back when the Cylons had found them right after she'd gotten out of sickbay, that Adama was subtly sizing up his junior officers, testing them for command. She'd had several opportunities herself, moments here and there where she technically should not have had the deck. But this was the first she'd heard Adama speak of it, and the first time she was aware he was watching Louis as intently as he was watching herself and Felix.
"I'd better get down there as well," Tigh said. He nodded to them both and left. Dee stood awkwardly for a moment.
"Is the Colonel coming back to the CIC soon, sir?" she asked.
"I imagine so," Adama said. "It's not something you can rush." He glanced at her significantly. "Recovery rarely is."
"Right, sir," Dee said, lifting her chin slightly.
Adama sighed heavily. "Dee, there's something else I've been meaning to talk to you about," he said. "Walk with me." Dee fell into step beside him, baffled by the grave, uncertain look on the Admiral's face. They walked through a few corridors until they arrived at his study. He held the door open for her.
"Have a seat," he ordered when they entered. Dee obeyed and looked at him inquisitively. Adama sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I wasn't sure if I should talk to you or to Lee about this, but you're the one I need in the CIC, and you're the one with the clearance."
"Sir?" Dee asked, mystified. Adama looked genuinely uncomfortable.
"This isn't an order I like to give," Adama said. "I don't like to meddle this much in my crew's personal lives, and I also have a vested interest in this one. But I think we need to be clear on it." He cleared his throat and picked up a pen, looking down at the paper on his desk. "Cottle tells me that a woman who's suffered an ectopic pregnancy can try again for a baby after three months. He also tells me that while Lieutenant Hoshi is in remission, there's a significant chance the cancer could return. Hoshi himself tells me that he doesn't consider himself truly in remission until six months have gone by, after which the chance of the cancer returning drops dramatically."
Dee saw where he was going. "You want me to put off getting pregnant until Hoshi's officially in remission, sir? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying." Adama looked up. "I can run the CIC without either of you. It's a hell of a lot easier if I don't have to. As much as I'd like that grandchild," he flashed a little half-grin, "it's something that has to wait."
"Unless we find Earth, first," Dee said.
Adama blinked. "Right," he said. "Unless we find Earth, first."
"Yes, sir."
"All right. You're dismissed. I'll see you at the Dance."
Dee left the study, and as she did, she wondered why the Admiral's order didn't hurt at all.
***
The Dance was savage. Dee was enjoying it immensely, especially when she won a few cubits betting on Noel in a bout against one of the other pilots.
That all evaporated when Kara called Lee up to the ring.
***
Dee didn't want to go back to her quarters, but she wasn't sure where else to go. And sure enough, when she went back, the room was empty.
She sat down on the bed, her hands falling uselessly into her lap. Her stomach was twisted into knots, because she honestly didn't know what was going to happen when Lee walked in that door tonight. Because that fight with Kara… she'd seen a lot of fights tonight, but nothing remotely that passionate. And none of them ended with a long embrace, either.
You're overreacting, she told herself. You're overreacting. But at the same time, she'd seen Anders's face, too, and the look of naked sympathy on Felix's face. She didn't know which one was real.
It was late when he came back. He was clean, with a small bandage on a cut on his cheek, his hair still damp from the shower. He opened the hatch quietly, spotted her, and then entered with an air of overcompensated confidence.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, dropping a kiss on her hair. "I went and saw Cottle."
"I see," Dee said. Her voice came out frosty, and she couldn't look up at him.
Lee sighed heavily. "All right," he said. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Dee tried.
"No, something's bothering you. I did something wrong tonight, didn't I? Let me guess. I fought Helo?" Dee gave him a dirty look. "No, it has nothing to do with Helo then. Which is just as well, since Helo beat the shit out of me."
Dee sighed. "Maybe we should just go to bed."
"No. No, you've got something to say, Dee. Let's hear it."
"Lee-"
"Kara." Lee clapped his hands down on the table, rolling his eyes and then turning away.
"I didn't say anything about Kara," Dee said, biting each word out.
"Yeah, but you were thinking it, weren't you?"
"No, I wasn't. Should I be, after watching the two of you beat the shit out of each other?" Dee arched her eyebrows.
"That's right," Lee agreed, "we beat the shit out of each other." He sighed. "I'm going to bed."
"I'm coming, too." Dee stood up. Lee turned around and looked at her like she was trailing him, but Dee met his eyes evenly. He shrugged, and then pulled off his clothing and slipped into bed. Dee climbed in after him.
They lay side by side, not touching at all.
***
"I'm sorry," Lee said the next morning, easing his sore body out of bed. "I really bit your head off last night."
"I'm sorry, too," Dee apologized. "I guess it did seem kind of accusing."
"Let's just forget it, all right?" Lee asked. "The whole thing was just strange."
Dee nodded enthusiastically.
***
"Are things okay with Lee?" Felix asked her two days later.
"Yeah, everything's fine," Dee said. Felix looked skeptical. "What?"
"Nothing. Just… I saw the look on your face when you were watching him and Kara fight at the Dance."
"I overreacted," Dee said lightly. After all, Lee had been quite attentive the past two days, not acting like anything had changed. So why should she believe it had?
"Yeah," Felix said. "That's what I used to say when Gaius brought home interns."
"Lee is not like Baltar, Felix. He's capable of thinking with more than his dick."
Felix shrugged. "You said yourself he had a thing for Kara."
Dee sighed. "It's been a long time. But more than that, we're married now. I can believe a lot of things about Lee Adama, but that he'd break a vow that he made? No. That's not Lee."
"You really believe in him, don't you?" Felix asked.
"Of course," Dee said stoically. "If I can't believe in my own husband, what can I believe in?"
"Good question," Felix agreed. "I just hope you're right."
"I am," Dee insisted, ignoring the little voice that said, yeah, me too.
***
"I see the guys were here again tonight," Lee said dryly, as Dee picked up the glasses.
"You know, you're welcome to join us," Dee offered, yet again.
Lee shook his head. "Sorry. They're good guys, Dee, but I don't have much in common with them."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for starters, when I eat with the four of you in the mess, I'm the only one who doesn't turn their head when a good-looking guy walks by."
Dee giggled. "I guess not. What else?"
"No offense, and maybe he's not like this around you, but Narcho's a bit of an ass."
"He is around the pilots," Dee agreed. "He's more toned down when he's not."
"But I'm a pilot," Lee pointed out.
"I see your point. But what about Felix? You two have a lot in common. Starting," Dee said dryly, "with your affection for a certain Sagittaron politician."
Lee snorted. "I wouldn't say I have any affection for Tom Zarek. I just understand him, and sometimes- on occasion- he is right. But come on, Dee, Gaeta and I are nothing alike. He's military, through and through. I don't care that he was in the civilian government on New Caprica- he's still a true soldier."
"So are you." Lee smiled indulgently, but didn't answer. "Louis? I seem to remember you arguing he was a good guy."
"And he is. They're all good guys, Dee, but they just aren't my kind of people. Besides," he said, sitting on the bed and grinning mischievously, "I have a bit of a secret project going."
"A secret project?"
"A long time ago, I promised the pilots if we ever found Earth- or even some habitable rock- I'd build them a bar. I didn't on New Caprica, but…" he looked at the table where Dee had been sitting earlier with her friends. "It's good for people to have a place to congregate, blow off some steam."
"It is." Dee laughed. "Oddly enough, I was never a fan of bars."
"No?" Lee asked.
"Noise, smoke, and rude people spilling drinks on you was never my idea of a good time," Dee admitted.
"Yeah," Lee said, and there might have been a stiffness in his voice. "Well, it keeps me busy, at any rate."
There was something plaintive in his voice, and Dee smiled understandingly. "I'm glad," she said. She put down the glasses and went over to the bed, and Lee draped his arm around her waist. "You know," she said, setting across his lap, "there are things that both of us agree are fun."
"Oh yeah?" Lee asked, raising his eyebrows. "Like what?"
Dee kissed him. He hesitated for a moment, and then kissed her back. It was tentative and gentle, like their sex had been a lot ever since the pregnancy, but soon enough it wasn't. And Dee was right- it was fun.
They lay together afterwards, not talking much. But the silence didn't feel strained; instead, it was companionable. Sex and its aftermath hadn't felt this good in a long, long time. Dee stretched, contented. Things were finally getting back to where they should be.
***
"Look," Dee said, trying to keep her patience as she shoved the schematics in front of Louis two weeks later. "I just don't see why we can't reroute the auxiliary power from the main-"
"Because," Louis said with exaggerated patience, "this capacitor here," he jabbed at a symbol with a long finger, "won't take it."
"But if we-"
"Dee, it's just not possible, okay?"
"But you're not listening to what I'm saying!"
"I don't need to! I see it here on the paper, plain as day!"
Dee bit her lip. She and Louis had been getting on so well recently that sometimes it was hard to remember how Louis got when he was convinced he was right. And right now, Dee was about ready to tear her hair out… or his. She glared at him, uncharitably thinking of what an improvement it would be. His close crop was growing out again, and it looked absolutely terrible.
"Make a hole!" someone shouted.
Both Dee and Louis stepped back, and Lee and Kara ran by. They were racing, judging by Kara's delighted squeals and the way they were laughing. Dee watched them sourly, and tried to ignore the shaft of fear that shot through her.
"He's making a total fool of himself," she said, as Lee chased Kara through the halls.
"We go running together three times a week," Louis pointed out. "I seem to remember picking you up outside the CIC." Dee glared at him. "What?" Louis asked. "I'm just saying… oh, never mind. You aren't going to listen to a word I say. You haven't been all day."
"What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing." Louis stuffed the schematics back into his folder. "I actually honestly meant what I said. Some people do, you know."
"Frak off, Louis," Dee said crossly.
"Now that's the best idea you've had all day." He glanced at his watch. "I'm due with the Admiral anyway."
"Well tell him we need to reroute the-" Dee would have continued, but Louis was walking away, and he waved his hand dismissively at her. "Right," Dee said, watching him go. She sighed irritably and walked back down the hall, the opposite direction.
She tried not to think about how Lee and Kara had been laughing. The only reason she noticed it was because it contrasted so sharply with her own bad mood.
After all, marriage was all about trust.
***
"I heard a strange thing today," she told Lee that night as he folded the laundry.
"Yeah?"
"Seelix told me that the rumors that you and Kara are frakking started up again."
Lee laughed, although his laughter seemed fake. Was it her imagination? "Well, considering today I heard that you and Hoshi got caught in the head…."
"Me and Hoshi?" Dee laughed. "Who told you that?"
"That would be your friend Narcho."
Dee sighed. "I told him not to do that."
Lee paused in folding a shirt and looked over at where she was sitting on the bed. "You know about this?"
"Noel's trying to up the stakes," Dee said, rolling her eyes. "He's got money on Felix and Louis getting together."
Lee shrugged in that careless way he had that meant he really wasn't all that interested. "Well, that proves right there how crazy the rumor mill is," he said. "When I heard that one about you and Hoshi, I laughed. Because I know you, and I know that I can trust you. Even if you and Hoshi have been spending a lot of time together. Even if you won't tell me what half your conversations are about. I love you and I trust you, so I don't ask." But he looked at her expectantly.
Dee stared at him open-mouthed. "I don't believe you," she said. "That's exactly what you're doing right now, isn't it? You're asking me if there's something going on between me and Hoshi?"
"Well, isn't that what you were doing when we started this conversation?" Lee shot back. "Trying to ask without asking if there's something going on between me and Kara?"
Guilt flooded her, but she held her ground. "There's nothing going on with me and Louis," she said evenly.
"And there's nothing going on with me and Kara," he said, looking angry.
"Good."
"Good." He shoved the last tank into the drawer. "So next time your insecurities are acting up, just come out and ask me, okay?"
"Fine."
Lee sighed heavily. "Let's just forget it, okay, Dee?"
"Fine."
Lee shook his head and finished putting his laundry away, and then sat down to work on his pilot rotation. Dee watched him for a moment, and tried to tell herself that forgetting it was exactly what she should do.
So why couldn't she?
***
It turned out that even if Dee couldn't forget the rumors about her husband and Kara, she didn't have time to actually think about them. Not after the food supply was contaminated, and the rations dwindled down to nothing.
"They're sending you all through the star cluster?" Louis said, drinking a glass of water like it would help. "You're kidding."
"You heard the plan, Louis," Felix said crossly. "Stop asking the same question."
"Yeah, I really don't need it rubbed in," Noel groused. "It's not like I want to do this. But if there's food on the other side… I mean, right now, even algae sounds good."
"It's insane," Louis said. "Radiation is just… tell you what. I'll fly for you."
"You don't have wings, Louis," Dee reminded him. Her stomach was cramping and she felt weak, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. And if these three idiots would just shut up about it, it would make it much easier.
"They should send me," Louis mumbled, sitting back. "What's the radiation going to do? Give me cancer?"
Noel smacked him in the back of the head. "First of all, asshole, you're in remission. Secondly, don't frakking joke about it right now, okay?"
"It's been a bad enough week between the food situation and Tigh coming back to the CIC," Felix agreed, his chin resting on his crossed arms. He glared at Louis. "And don't think I didn't see you clapping," he said crossly.
"Felix, the guy is my superior officer, and I'm not supposed to know about the Circle," Louis snapped. "Lay off, all right?"
"Circle?" Noel said.
"It's nothing," Felix said, right as Dee said, "Don't worry about it." Noel shook his head.
"Gods, we need to eat. But if we resort to cannibalism, I vote we eat Felix first."
It was a sign of how hungry and tired they all were that no one kicked Noel under the table. Dee sighed and pushed herself to her feet. "I've got to go play tour guide," she said. "Don't eat each other while I'm gone."
She walked down the corridor and saw Lee. He was in his flight suit and talking to Kara, their heads close together and urgent. But when Dee approached, all she heard was talk about stims and coordinates and radiation and throttles.
Hungry and tired. That's what they all were, and it was bringing out the worst in everyone, including her. She told herself not to be paranoid and continued on to her job.
***
"You're heading up the algae supply mission," the Admiral informed Lee. "I've got some Marines and one of Tyrol's crews down there right now, but they're not organized. They're just getting us started as fast as they can."
"Yes, sir," Lee said. Dee studied him. It wasn't a typical assignment for a CAG, dealing with a planet-side mission. She would have expected Adama to put Helo or Tyrol himself in charge. But Lee actually seemed pleased at the idea.
"Dee will be your second," Adama continued.
Lee stiffened, barely glancing at Dee. "Sir, that's not really necessary."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we don't really know what's down there on that planet," Lee said. "I'd rather Dee stayed where it's safe. After all…"
Adama glowered at Lee, and Lee subsided into silence. "She's a soldier," he reminded Lee, and Dee lifted her chin and met the Old Man's gaze proudly. "Besides, with all the radiation, the equipment is really giving us some flack. You need someone who knows communications."
"So, send Hoshi. Not my wife," Lee said.
"Hoshi's not an option," Tigh growled. "You'll take it and like it, Major."
Adama clapped Lee on the arm. "Look at it this way, you never got a chance for a honeymoon. Beautiful planet, lots of blue sky and green scenery…"
"If pumping algae qualifies as your idea of romance, sir," Lee began with a smile, and even Tigh chuckled at that.
"You're dismissed," Adama informed them both.
***
"I don't get it," Lee complained as they made their way back to their own quarters. "Why you?"
"Why not?" Dee asked, annoyed. "I was your XO on the Pegasus."
"They'll need you up here on the ship."
"Why is this such an issue for you?" Dee asked, stopping suddenly. "It's a good command opportunity for me, and it's a chance where we might actually spend a little time together. Granted, an algae planet isn't exactly what I had in mind, but still."
Lee sighed and turned to face her, rubbing her arm. "You've been through enough already. I just don't want anything to happen to you," he said. "And I can't shake the feeling that this planet is bad news." He patted her shoulder. "I'm going to go start getting my rosters ready," he said.
"Yeah, bad news is right," Dee said, watching him go. She wished she wasn't thinking there was another reason Lee didn't want her to go.
***
"This stuff is disgusting," Noel said, chewing it thoroughly. "But it's still the best frakking thing I ever ate in my life."
"No kidding," Felix forked over another blob, and then looked around the quarters. "Where's Lee, Dee?"
"Talking to the squadron leaders," Dee said. "He's got a lot to do before we leave tomorrow morning." Felix and Noel exchanged glances, and Louis didn't look up from his bowl. Dee ignored them. "I'm glad we were able to eat in here," she said. "The mess hall was packed."
"Yeah," Noel said carelessly. "Kind of like right after New Caprica."
Felix winced and glared at Noel. Louis rubbed his shoulder gently, and Noel watched them, chewing idly.
"What?" Louis demanded.
"You two are frakking each other, aren't you?"
Felix blushed, but Louis met Noel's gaze evenly. "What of it?" he said finally.
"I'm just not understanding why you're acting like it's some big secret."
Felix was the one who spoke up. "Because the minute the rumor mill gets a hold of it, then there are expectations, and it becomes more than occasional sex between friends."
"Yeah, well, it is obviously more," Noel said, chewing laconically now.
"It's not," Louis insisted. "Not yet." Felix looked down at his bowl.
"What are you waiting for?" Noel demanded.
"The six month mark." Louis's eyes narrowed. "For a damn good reason." The tone of his voice was so frosty that Dee looked down at her own plate, and Noel even shut his mouth. Dee glanced up at him, and noticed that Noel's lips were pressed together so hard that the skin was turning white at the corners of his mouth.
Felix cleared his throat. "So the Old Man is sending you down as Lee's second in command," he said to Dee. "That's big."
"I guess," Dee said, shrugging. "Lee's not happy about it, though. He was campaigning for Louis."
"For me?" Louis asked. "Why?"
"No offense, but that's what I was wondering, too," Dee said sourly. "He kept going on about it being too dangerous. What a load of shit."
Felix seemed very interested in his plate, and Noel cleared his throat and opened his mouth. "Don't say it," Dee warned. "I know you're thinking it's a great chance for some privacy, but don't say it."
Noel broke the silence. "The thing is, Dee," he said slowly, "I'm not saying that I have, but if I heard something… would you want to know?"
"No. Not if you heard anything, Mr. I-heard-Hoshi-and-Dee-were-caught-in-the-head." She fixed him with a stern glare, and Noel had the grace to flush. But he wouldn't be deterred.
"What if it wasn't a rumor, though?" Noel asked. "What if I knew for sure? I don't," he added hastily.
Dee twirled her fork in her hands, looking from Felix to Louis. The air was charged with pain, and Dee wondered what was possessing them to have this conversation. Felix was still trying to eat, chewing mechanically, but Louis had given up any pretense of it and was off into the distance, his face blank. "If you knew for sure? If you saw something with your own eyes?" she asked, trying to think, and then she sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd want to know. I don't know what I'd do about it, but I'd want to know."
The four of them sat in silence. "I guess it's a good thing no one's speaking?" Dee said, when the oppressive atmosphere got too much to bear.
Felix stood up. "I think I've had enough," he said. "I need to get to the lab to take a look at some samples that Tyrol shipped up." He paused, and then leaned down and kissed Louis on the cheek. Louis closed his eyes, but other than that he didn't react.
Noel stood up as well. "I guess I should get going as well," he said. "I was hoping that now that we all have something in our stomachs we could get rip roaring drunk tonight, but something tells me that wouldn't be much fun." He grabbed his dishes and followed Felix out of the hatch.
Dee studied Hoshi. He'd picked up his fork again. "Are you all right?" she asked cautiously.
"Fine," Louis said, stabbing the fork into the bowl. "Just fine."
"Are you okay with this?"
"It's not anything I need to be okay with. It's your life, Dee."
"No, I'm changing the subject. Sorry, I should have been more clear. Are you okay with me getting this assignment over you?"
Louis made a face. "Well, no, because the reason I'm not getting it is because of Cottle. It's too physical for me right now. I can't say I really like the fact I'm still dealing with the cancer, even if it's technically in remission."
"And if it wasn't?"
Louis shrugged. "It's different this time, Dee. Don't beat yourself up over it."
"So you've forgiven me for being XO on the Pegasus?"
"I didn't say that," Louis said, but he flashed a tiny smile. "I'll concede that you didn't intentionally sleep your way into the position, and yes, you did a good job. We wouldn't be sitting here together right now if you hadn't. But yes, I still think I should have had the position from the start." He shrugged again. "But maybe it's not your fault."
"Gee. Thanks."
"And yes, for the record, I'm horribly jealous that you're getting to go instead of me. But at least this time there's a reason, and as much as I'd like to, I can't change it. Besides," he sighed, taking another forkful, "I have a feeling this mission is going to be bad news for you."
"Funny," Dee said, although it really wasn't. "That's exactly what Lee said, too."
***
The planet was hot, humid, and muddy. Dee stepped off the Raptor and had to take several deep breaths as the atmosphere assaulted her lungs. The stench didn’t help, either. Lee stepped off beside her, looking around. "Looks like they've got a good start," he said.
Tyrol's crews were moving around in the valley below them, sucking up the algae with a giant tube. It was alarming how much the finished product looked like the raw stuff. "And there's nothing else edible on this planet?" she asked Lee. "No wildlife? No berries or root vegetation?"
"Nothing that's going to feed an entire fleet," Tyrol said, approaching them. "Major. Lieutenant." He saluted. "The wildlife we've spotted so far has been small. We don't have the resources to do any large scale fishing, and with the Cylons still looking for us, we don't have time to do anything else but get as much of this crap as we can off the planet."
Lee sighed. "Good answer," he said. "Not my favorite, but good answer." He looked around. "Well, let's go get started."
Tyrol grinned at them. "We already are."
***
To Dee's surprise, despite the oppressive heat, the humidity, the little blood-sucking insects that left itchy welts, and the horrible stench, she liked this assignment. Oddly enough, it reminded her of basic, when she'd first been so full of fire for the military ideals, and so determined to serve and protect. Not that she didn't still feel that way, but this was more the kind of mission the television commercials had promised.
"What I don't get," Cally sighed as she and Dee eased a pipe into yet another swath of algae, "is why this has to be a military mission. Unless the squirrels are organizing themselves for a ruthless attack, it seems sort of overkill, doesn't it? Let some of the civvies do the dirty work for a change."
"Hey!" Sam Anders put in from over by the pump. "Some of us are civvies."
Dee laughed. "At least we got first dibs," she pointed out. "It may taste like swamp rot, but I won't complain that my stomach's full again."
Cally sighed, deftly attaching a connection. "You know what the worst of it is?" she asked. "This is going to be all of it. Algae, morning, noon, and night. Algae bars, algae meatloaf, mashed algae…"
"Steamed algae," Anders picked up. "Roasted algae, algae casserole, algae a la king…."
"Algae soup!" Cally continued gleefully. "Algae fricassee, algae sauté, algae puffs, algae soufflé…"
"I think you need eggs to make a soufflé," Dee said.
Anders ignored that. "What about deep-fried algae?" he asked Cally. "Or algae melts? Prime roast algaeloaf, sliced thin, served on algae bread with an algae cheese melted on top."
"And dried algae chips on the side?"
"Pickled algae!"
Cally was giggling so hard that she could barely talk. Anders was laughing and smiling, and even Dee couldn't help it. She started to laugh as well. But she couldn't look straight at Anders, and she couldn't help noticing he didn’t meet her eyes, either.
"What's the joke?" Lee said, appearing behind Anders.
Anders looked over his shoulder. "Nothing, Major," he said casually. "Cally, I think I've got this sucker ready to go."
"Well, flip it on, then."
Anders flipped a switch and the operation roared to life. The noise of it made it impossible to talk, and Dee found herself watching Lee, even as she held the heavy tube steady. Lee was standing next to Anders, but just a shade too far from where he should have been for comfortable conversation. And Anders seemed far too interested in the workings of the pump.
He'd heard the same rumors, too, then.
Anders looked up and caught her staring, and gave her a tiny smile that conveyed a world of understanding, and a little solidarity.
She smiled back.
***
"Dee. Can you give me a hand here?"
Dee climbed up the hill, where Anders was struggling with a long length of hose section. "Sure," she said. "What do you need?"
"Just a second pair of hands," Anders said. "If we're gonna get this moved, it would be a lot easier if this hose was coiled. But every time I try…" he gestured to where the hose kinked.
"No problem," Dee said, and bent to the work.
They made short work of it, with Dee unraveling the hose as Anders coiled it. "Thanks," Anders said. He stood up, stretching out his back. "Hell of a mission, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Dee agreed. She stood next to him, and they surveyed the small camp set up below them, the green planet, and the sheer bluffs that surrounded them. "You know," Dee sighed, "it's not a bad little planet."
"If you can get away from the stench," Anders agreed. "Too bad the Cylons would find us."
"I'm almost surprised they haven't already. That's just how our luck goes."
"Yeah."
They looked at each other, and Anders clapped a hand on Dee's shoulder for a moment. His hand was strong and firm, heavily callused with dirty bitten fingernails. "What would you do if we didn't have to run, though?" he asked, his hand falling back to his side. "If we were staying here, and the threat of the Cylons was gone?"
"Last time I got married. And I stayed on the Pegasus," Dee mused.
"Yeah?"
"I don't know if I'd stay there again."
Anders gave her a half-grin. "I would," he admitted.
"You'd stay?"
"Frak, yeah. Sometimes, things are important. And walking away from them just hurts more than it does to stay with it."
"You think?" Dee asked.
"Yeah. I do."
They were both silent, but the silence was companionable as they surveyed the planet. At least, it was until a motion caught Dee's eye. Lee and Kara were running towards the base camp. Dee grabbed Anders's wrist.
"Oh, frak," she said, pointing to them. "There's no way that can be good."
***
After the briefing, Dee hustled to catch up with the pilot walking away. "Starbuck! Starbuck! Captain Thrace!"
Starbuck turned, a slightly mocking smile on her face and a shifty look in her eye. "What do you want, Lieutenant?" she asked.
"Do you have a problem with something I said?" Dee demanded.
Kara's eyebrow cocked up. "I have a problem with a jumped up NCO telling me how to fly recon, yes."
"And it didn't occur to you that, in a roomful of civilians, it just might be a good idea to be explicit about what everyone's supposed to be doing?" Dee demanded.
Kara looked at her, and then burst out laughing. "You and Sam should get along great," she said. "Yeah, I've got a problem with it. The frakking civvies don't have to know every move I make, and it only wastes time."
"Well, until you're in command here, you will keep your mouth shut while I'm giving orders. Is that clear, Captain?"
"Crystal, Lieutenant. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go prep my Raptor." She turned on her heel and stalked off.
The fire of combat filled Dee, and for once she was glad that Louis had been such a pain in the ass on the Pegasus. Kara might think she was a hard case, but she wasn't half the bitch that Louis could be. Smiling grimly, Dee turned back to the bunker to get her gun.
***
The wounded Raptor left a streak of flame and smoke across the blue sky. Dee watched it, her heart pounding.
"Starbuck's been hit! I say again, Starbuck's going down!" Dee shouted into the comm unit.
And all she could think was Good.
***
There was no time for sentiment, and no time for anger. Dee was a soldier, and she was at war. Centurions were on this planet, had shot down Sergeant Fischer. And the fact that her own husband had ordered her to save what she suspected was his mistress…
No, she told herself, can't think like that. She's a Colonial pilot, I'm the closest source of help. She climbed over the brush towards the Raptor. She faced it, squared her shoulders, and crept towards the door.
"Starbuck? Star –" A gun appeared in her face.
Kara looked anything but happy to see her. "Dee, why the hell didn't you sing out? I almost blew you away."
"Yeah. Glad to see you too."
Dee had never wanted to kill a human more.
***
What was the appeal? she wondered as she sat by Kara, trying to repair the Raptor. The job wouldn't have been that hard if it hadn't been for the proximity of this woman. Why was Dee so threatened? It wasn't like they were anything alike. She wasn't a younger version of Dee. Although Dee was realistic enough to know that she and Lee were having a rough spot in their marriage, she couldn't honestly believe that Kara was the kind to listen and provide comfort. Their sex life had deteriorated a little since the pregnancy, but it was rebounding. All those reasons people cheated… they just weren't there.
But then, Dee thought guiltily as she twisted a pair of wires together, Billy had been everything she'd thought she wanted, too. And it wasn't like Lee was smarter or more compassionate. It had been something undeniable that had drawn her to Lee over Billy, not something that she could hold up as an example.
Frak.
Kara convulsed with pain. Dee checked the kit and gave her a morpha shot, hard, in the leg. Gods, that felt good. "There's only one left," she told her. "Better save it for when you fly us out of here."
"I can't fly," Kara gasped. "Especially all whacked up on morpha."
"Well, that's just frakkin' great."
"He won't cheat," Kara said suddenly, looking loopy. "He's too honorable."
He's too honorable implied opportunity. It implied desire. And it implied duty. Dee couldn't bear to think about it, especially not now. Not with her own life at stake, not with her job at stake. But she couldn't resist biting off, "Unlike you."
"Yeah, unlike me," Kara agreed. " I love Sam, I hate Sam. I love Lee, I hate Lee. Gods, I have to cheat just to keep the pieces all nice and neat."
Kara started to drift off, and Dee didn't pretend there was a great deal of pleasure in slapping her into consciousness. "Stay with it," she ordered. "You've still got to walk me through these avionics." She glared at Kara. "And not one more word about Lee or Sam, got it?"
Kara nodded.
What was annoying, Dee thought, was that even high on morpha, Kara could explain this. It helped that Dee was a quick study and understood much of it already, but the nagging traitor voice in her head muttered that maybe they could have made a decent team. She pictured Lee watching them, grinning with pride, and the image only made her more furious.
"That's it," she said, clicking on the Raptor. That much she knew how to do. "All right," she said, growling deep in her throat. "Let's get out of here."
Kara nodded, and to Dee's surprise, there was a flash of pride in her eyes. Odd, really, that Kara might feel the same way.
***
He won't cheat. He's too honorable.
Kara's words rung in Dee's head even as Lee turned to see her standing by the Raptor, even as he came over, pulling her into his arms and kissing her, cradling her close. Too honorable to cheat.
Lee's body was pressed against hers, warm and solid, and she was fitting perfectly into his arms. They were both so relieved to see the other alive, both so grateful they'd made it off the planet in time and without any injury from the Cylon attack. And yet… he'd still ordered her to risk her life for Kara's, she'd still been told that Lee was too honorable to cheat.
She tried to force it from her mind. After all, if Lee wasn't cheating, she had won.
***
The Admiral caught her on her way to the showers. "Lieutenant Dualla," he said, formally, "that was some good work that you did. Both down on the planet, and piloting the Raptor back up."
"Thank you, sir," Dee said.
Adama's smile widened. "No one could have done better," he said, and Dee's heart flared with joy at what passed for extremely high praise. He winked at her, and then saluted. She saluted back.
He walked down the hall, and she watched him for a moment. Then she headed back to the showers with a smile and a spring in her step.
***
There was a knock at the hatch, and when Dee answered it, Louis stood there, stiff and formal in his duty blues. She began to smile, but his face was deadly serious, and her smile leached away. "What is it, Louis?" she asked.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course." Dee stepped aside. Louis glanced behind him and then closed the door. There were no smiles, and Louis didn't move to sit. He stood in front of her, at attention. Dee suddenly realized this wasn't Louis- this was Lieutenant Hoshi of the Pegasus. "Is something wrong?" Dee asked, her heart beginning to beat faster.
Louis just swallowed, staring at the wall. "You said," he finally began, "that if any of us heard anything- direct from the source- to let you know. When Captain Thrace landed her Raptor at 0930 hours this morning, she neglected to turn off the comm unit, although I'm sure she thought she had."
Dee's heart stopped, and then lurched into a faster staccato again. "Continue," she said evenly.
"I heard Major Adama join her, and what followed was proof that they are intimately involved." Louis still wouldn't even look at Dee. "They did confirm that they have not yet actually consummated the relationship, but the Major said…" Louis cleared his throat, "Major Adama indicated interest in seeking a divorce." Dee's ears began to buzz, and Louis was blinking hard. "Captain Thrace dismissed that plan, and they were apparently left at an impasse."
Dee opened her mouth, but no words came and she closed it again. Finally, she heard herself saying, "Thank you, Lieutenant Hoshi."
He looked at her, and there was a wealth of pain and sympathy in his eyes. "Do you need anything, Lieutenant?" he asked, gentling a little. "I could get Lieutenant Gaeta."
"No. No, I'm fine. Thank you."
Louis nodded and snapped a small salute. "I'll see myself out."
The hatch clanged shut behind him.
On to Part 10
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-03 12:37 pm (UTC)The relationship between the Dee, Felix, Narcho, and Louis is such a wonderful friendship. It aches to know this follows cannon and how painful the end has to be.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 03:44 am (UTC)I know. The ending for these four kills me. I know canon never specified if Noel made it to Earth II or not, but my personal canon says no, so.... ::hugs them all::
no subject
Date: 2009-07-03 07:30 pm (UTC)It got so ouchy towards the end, but in a good way. I'm looking forward to more!
no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 03:43 am (UTC)And yeah, I couldn't resist that line about Louis being a bitch. One of the things I really wanted to come across in this chapter was that even though Dee and Louis care about each other now and have formed this friendship, they can still really rub each other the wrong way, although there's no vindictiveness like there used to be.
Thanks so much! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-04 11:59 pm (UTC)The rescue of Starbuck- I'd nearly forgotten about that. I enjoyed seeing a little of Dee's vindictive side here. I don't remember how much of that is canon and how much is you, but I enjoyed that a lot.
The dynamics of Felix and Louis here, by the way, give a good idea of where they are and provide a good explanation as to why we never saw them together outside the webisodes. I love the way you can do that so well. :)
Oh, and Dee and Sam having a moment? My poor babies. They deserved better. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 03:41 am (UTC)The Starbuck rescue is one of my favorite little sideplots, because Dee really gets her moment in the sun. A lot of her vindictive side there is canon, but I don't blame her one little bit and was rather gleeful writing it.
And thanks on the Felix and Louis part. That was one thing that did work about the tacked on nature of the romance for me. Both Felix and Louis strike me as such private, professional people that it made sense that Tigh never knew about their coupledom, because it makes sense to me they'd consider it unprofessional to let him know. (also, I'm married to, like, the least public man EVER.) Plus, yeah, Louis has some big reasons for kind of guarding it right now, and Felix has the whole Baltar thing....
Thanks so much! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 11:15 am (UTC)Gah, this was a hard chapter to read. Especially as a K/L shipper. Because getting it all from Dee's POV really shows just how wrong, totally wrong it is, meanwhile when I was watching the show I was like "Please make out more because you're both so damned pretty." And I could get into my long spiel about Kara's self-esteem issues but I'm not going to go there now. I'm just going to leave this with- great work. I know you really worked your ass off to get this chapter done.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-06 02:23 am (UTC)I know. I mean, I'm not a K/L shipper, but I like Kara and I like Lee. This was just a difficult part of the show. Also, so often in discussions, it seems like Dee and Sam (but more often Dee) get blamed for standing in the way of true love.
I agree- it's not as simple as Kara and Lee being assholes, there are MAJOR issues there. And the next chapter's going to hurt a bit, too, because I have to deal with a few other couples and infidelity. And there's one other issue that won't get addressed in this fic but I now know that is SOOOOOOOOO ouchy. But if it makes you feel better, Lee will redeem himself a bit in the next chapter (I think) as it will go through Taking a Break, and he gets his act back together with regards to Dee then.
But thanks!!! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-06 02:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-06 02:41 am (UTC)As down in the dumps as everybody was, I did like how you portrayed the Hoshi-Dee-Felix-Narcho dynamic during the low points, like when everyone is starving. They're great friends, but I think you captured the reality of being stuck in a big tin can with great friends under horrendous conditions: sometimes, you're going to snipe at each other. It doesn't mean your not friends; it just means you're all human and have your limits.
"The six month mark." Louis's eyes narrowed. "For a damn good reason." The tone of his voice was so frosty that Dee looked down at her own plate, and Noel even shut his mouth.
::gasps:: Oh *no*! Wow, if this means what I think it means... Narcho was a bastard. *Ouch*.
There were some nice little bright spots, too, which I really appreciated, like Lee's crack about not feeling like he fit in with Dee's friends because he's the only one who doesn't turn around when a good-looking guy walks in and Dee and Hoshi's run through the halls. And then in classic lls_mutant fashion, you ripped the happiness out from under me, both times--with the uncomfortable discussion about the bar, especially knowing what's coming, and the comparison between Hoshi and Dee's run and Lee and Kara's. (By the way, does Lee seriously suspect something between Hoshi and Dee, or his he just parrying Dee's inquiry and sidetracking her there?)
Also, it was very nice to see Sam. He was in pain, too, but I still enjoyed him very much.
The end--ouch. You completely fooled me as to what Louis was coming in to say. I was sure he was going to tell Dee that Baltar was alive. Now I have *that* fallout to look forward to next time, too...oh boy, life just isn't easy for these folks, is it? ;)
As difficult as it was, it was a very good chapter. As always, I'm very curious to see what comes next!
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Date: 2009-07-06 10:54 am (UTC)It doesn't mean your not friends; it just means you're all human and have your limits.
Yup :) I like to think none of them took it remotely seriously, either. That was why I put the little snap about Hoshi waiting for six months after they got the algae... because that's real, not just brought on by hunger and stress.
And yes, Narcho was a bastard, although there's a little more to it than that (but not too much) :)
(By the way, does Lee seriously suspect something between Hoshi and Dee, or his he just parrying Dee's inquiry and sidetracking her there?)
About 20% the first, but 80% the second. Lee's not seeing the Felix/Louis relationship much, although if you asked him to think about it, it wouldn't shock him in the least. And Dee has suddenly become very close to Hoshi in a very short time. He IS a little jealous of Hoshi, because Dee talks to him. The part about her not telling him what their conversations are about... I hate to say it, but Hoshi's kind of put Dee in a bit of an unfair position saying she can't tell Lee about the cancer. But Dee's also been leaning on Hoshi (and Felix and Noel, but most visibly on Hoshi) to get through the miscarriage, and Lee knows it, and he's jealous of that. He doesn't SAY it, because he thinks this is what she needs and he leans on Helo, but he feels it.
If you asked Lee, I don't think he'd say he really believed Dee and Hoshi were sleeping together. But when he thinks about it (which may not be that often), their emotional connection bothers him some. But at the same time, I've found that a common behavior of cheaters is to turn it around and convince themselves their partner is also cheating, or to make their partner feel guilty. And that's definitely a lot of what Lee's doing, here. In fact, I'd say he's almost more conscious of that than he is of his jealousy. So yeah, it's more the second, but there's a reason he chose Hoshi over Felix or Noel. I mean, Dee's probably closest to Felix, then Noel, then Hoshi, but she's got very different relationships with all three of them. And let's face it- Felix and Noel are both more attractive than Louis, and Lee never has kicked up a fuss about Dee hanging out with them.
Wow. That was a longwinded answer :)
The end--ouch. You completely fooled me as to what Louis was coming in to say. I was sure he was going to tell Dee that Baltar was alive.
You know what? I'd actually forgotten that Baltar's on the ship now. I hadn't forgotten it in the story, but I forgot it once I saw where this chapter was ending. Fortunately, the fact he's alive isn't a huge shock for Dee, since Felix told her when he first found out. But yeah, the next chapter's just going to be... between Dee dealing with this fallout, some stuff between Hoshi and Narcho, and Felix off going quietly crazy over Baltar (which, you can bet that Hoshi's going to LOVE that)... Can't these people catch a break????
Thanks SO much :)
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Date: 2009-07-10 05:25 pm (UTC)"I'll be frakked before I want to watch you two pulling each others' hair."
HAHAHAHA OH TIGH.
Adama sizing up the junior officers: oh, if only there had been hints of this on the show. Because it's a smart thing to do and heck, he was about to retire!
"I vote we eat Felix first."
I will CUT you, Narcho. ;-P
Oh, Lee, trying to keep Dee off the mission so you can hook up with your lover girl. Bastard!!
They never did find the hot fudge planet, did they.
Awww, I love Cally and Sam doing the Forrest Gump thing. :-D
Kara might think she was a hard case, but she wasn't half the bitch that Louis could be.
AWESOME.
I love Dee in that Raptor. I've just realized that it's about the only time in canon that we see the pissed-off, not-taking-shit-from-anyone, soldier!Dee, and you've taken that moment and built a whole story from it that is so in character. *is awed*
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Date: 2009-07-11 03:55 am (UTC)Adama sizing up the junior officers: oh, if only there had been hints of this on the show.
I know! I'm going to put that down to an artifact of it being a TV show. All the exciting stuff in the CIC Adama had to be there for, and all the boring stuff would have made boring TV. Not to mention, the audience wants Adama in command. But yeah, he should have been doing that. (And every time I think of it, it breaks my heart what Bear said in his blog about how that Admiral moment should have belonged to Felix.)
Awww, I love Cally and Sam doing the Forrest Gump thing. :-D
Heh- thanks. After writing that, I got an urge to write Cally-Sam buddy fic :)
I've just realized that it's about the only time in canon that we see the pissed-off, not-taking-shit-from-anyone, soldier!Dee, and you've taken that moment and built a whole story from it that is so in character. *is awed*
Yup- that's pretty much the moment that inspired much of this fic :) That's the Dee that took on Hoshi and won :)
Thanks so much!!! :)
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Date: 2009-07-12 03:06 am (UTC)(Hrm. Still bitter!)
I got an urge to write Cally-Sam buddy fic :)
I'D READ IT!!!
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Date: 2009-07-16 09:13 pm (UTC)But in this story, she doesn't. It all seems so tangled and complicated. I like stories about infidelity. Because like you said about another topic recently, it's life. It happens and is just as complicated as you depict here.
I am a little worried. I'm worried about Hoshi! Don't kill Hoshi! I know you with your killer endings. I'm totally hooked on this story and that would keeeeel me.
I liked the line, "Walk with me" from Adama. Very TWW. :-)
Algae fricasee! Hee! I did laugh out loud on that one. :-)
I think Hoshi and Dee are going to have to sleep together. Yes, they will, I've decided. ;-) I don't care if she leaves Lee or not first. She needs someone who loves her and only her. I really like your Dee. You've really got me thinking about her lately . . .
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Date: 2009-07-17 12:49 am (UTC)Which was different than my interpretation because I think Dee knew from the beginning. From when Starbuck came in 'a little hot'. Dee had been listening outside of doors since Resurrection Ship. She knew.
She did. Even here, she had her suspicions. She's not shocked when Hoshi tells her, sadly enough. But she didn't want to believe it, so she didn't fully believe Lee was cheating. But she knew he wanted to :)
I am a little worried. I'm worried about Hoshi! Don't kill Hoshi!
Heh- this one follows canon. Hoshi makes it to Earth and lives another ten years :) (If you want the ending for this- I think you've read it but I forget- check out Softly Tread the Sand Below Your Feet. That's Hoshi's ending in this universe. He does die, but after like 12 years of living on Earth and being happy.)
I think Hoshi and Dee are going to have to sleep together. Yes, they will, I've decided. ;-)
Hoshi and Dee? Or Narcho and Dee? Hoshi reminds you he's in love with Felix. Narcho tugs on your sleeve and basically says "yeah, keep bugging her for it!" Because although he hasn't totally admitted it to me yet, I'm pretty sure Narcho's in love with Dee. He just won't even hint at it because Dee's married. But I think Felix knows.
Thanks! :)
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Date: 2009-07-17 03:22 am (UTC)I meant Hoshi and Dee. Because they've bonded and everything through sickbay. But Narcho and Dee? She doesn't seem as close to Narcho. Aww, he's in love with her? Just like in the pornbattle fic! I knew he was in love with her then. I haven't really noticed it here. I thought he wasn't over Hoshi (they were engaged!) but I guess he's over that.
But oooh. You know I like your Narcho. I'm going to keep my eye on him in the next part.
You're welcome!
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Date: 2009-07-17 03:49 am (UTC)I have to admit, I kind of want Dee and Hoshi to sleep together, too. There's a scene in the next chapter where they dance together, and I feel like there's sexual tension there even if there's not.
In my head, Dee hasn't quite understood what's going on with Narcho and Hoshi. Dee's convinced that Narcho's not over Hoshi, but she's wrong (which Narcho's insisted through the whole fic). Narcho very much loves Hoshi, but he's also still angry and hurt by the way Hoshi shut him out, and there's something more. Something bigger, darker, that Dee's never going to see. In my head, Narcho's borderline suicidal. The biggest thing that kept him living after the attacks was that he still had Hoshi. He sort of clung on to that as a life raft, and he drifts back and forth across the line, but no one really knows it. Dee and Felix have really kept him on the better side, as well. But when he loses Dee... yeah. He's in a similar mindset as Felix. ::hugs Narcho::
And yeah, while half of the pornbattle fics were "it didn't happen", my idea was kind of that they COULD have... :)
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Date: 2009-07-17 12:14 pm (UTC)Well, you are the goddess of this verse! You can make it happen! But I understand. I currently have an AU couple I want together but I'm stuck on if it makes sense for them to be together. Ah, logic. One thing I've done in the past with people I think maybe have UST but would never act on it was to make it a dream. Dee could have this very realistic dream where she's having sex with Hoshi and he could turn into Narcho. And then she realizes that she's spending a lot of time with these three men. Seriously, after reading last night I thought how the four of them: Lee, Felix, Hoshi and Narcho all rolled into one could be the perfect man for her. :-) I'm certainly shipping her with all four. :-)
So Narcho's suicidal? Of course he is. Why didn't he kill himself when he lost Hoshi? Maybe she could sleep with Narcho. Like maybe he's at some really low point, confirming her thoughts that he loves Hoshi. Like the porn battle but more desperate. But they both realize it's not going to work. But maybe it makes him hang on. The idea that Dee is happy and a good person and one of them gets to get out of this mostly unbroken and intact. And then Earth and she . . . Aww, the boys are all going to be so sad, LLS! There better be comfort is all I'm sayin'. :-)
And yeah, while half of the pornbattle fics were "it didn't happen", my idea was kind of that they COULD have... :)
In my head, the ones I liked did happen. At least in this verse. :-)
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Date: 2009-07-17 12:28 pm (UTC)The ARE! In this verse she's only actually slept with Lee, but all of them together... there was a reason I really liked the foursome :)
Why didn't he kill himself when he lost Hoshi?
Losing Hoshi didn't make him suicidal. He was angry and upset and he went out and had a lot of anonymous sex, but he also knows he had a hand in it. He went passively suicidal after the attacks. It's funny- Noel's really the one I haven't done anything from his POV yet, so his head's been completely closed. (although I have a small fic planned where he talks to Laura Roslin before his execution, because he's totally Sean Allison's little brother and used to have Laura as a teacher as well.) But I do know that Noel was very close to his family, and he had some very good friends on Scorpia. He also lost a lot of friends on the Pegasus during the attacks, and Stinger's always been his best friend on the Pegasus in my head. Like everyone else, Noel's lost everything, and really all he was living for for a while was revenge. There's going to be a line in the Noel-Laura fic about how he used to pray every time he got into his Viper that he'd get shot down.
Maybe she could sleep with Narcho.
I have seriously, seriously considered this, and keep tossing it back and forth in my head.
On the one hand, I like it because it seems right in this universe. On the other hand, Dee eventually commits suicide. I think that if she'd had Noel, she wouldn't have. Which then implies to me you can do it one of two ways: Dee never sleeps with Noel, and the friendship doesn't change but just isn't enough when she's so broken, or Dee DOES sleep with Noel and it screws things up between them. Because it can't be that Dee sleeps with Noel and it doesn't mess anything up.
So, I'm leaning towards Dee not sleeping with Noel, because there's enough angst there that she doesn't need to be on weird terms with Noel before she kills herself. But I'm not 100% committed yet ;)
And then Earth and she . . . Aww, the boys are all going to be so sad, LLS! There better be comfort is all I'm sayin'. :-)
Is there in canon? >:) There's a reason Felix goes off and mutinies, right? I'm planning on doing a sort of epilogue-post story with Hoshi and his Admiral stint and thinking about Dee, but canon had Lee Adama brushing right by Gaeta without a word. ::kicks Lee hard in the shins for that one::
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Date: 2009-07-17 12:55 pm (UTC)Yeah, I noticed that. He'll say these cryptic comments but I have no idea what he's thinking. So it was a surprise when you said he fell for Dee. I got it in the pornlet but had no idea here.
I think that if she'd had Noel, she wouldn't have.
But it's not about Noel or Felix or Hoshi. Or Lee. She could have had Lee again (although that would have been a BAD idea) in canon. But Dee believed in something bigger than a man in her life. She believed in Earth and that if everyone did everything right they could all reach home together. And they don't. And she has no control over everything. The baby, her husband, Earth. And while I can see her sleeping with Noel, she doesn't love him. And if he's in love with her it's going to mess him up and make him ready for mutiny when she dies, sex or no sex. At least if they had a few moments of rapture, it's something to hold on to. The idea that she could have loved him. I don't think it needs to be weird terms. She left when people loved her: Lee, Felix, Adama. But she had to do what she had to.
Is there in canon? >:)
I knooooow! You really want to kill us all over again! I don't really blame Lee for walking by Felix. He tried to talk to his father and the guy was drunk. Lee and Felix have barely (have they ever had a conversation?) ever talked in the entirety of the show. I don't know how believable anything Lee said would have been. Everyone says Felix looked mad. But he never said anything specifically about Lee on the show. I just thought he was quietly devastated and waiting his turn to go be with her one last time. I don't think either of them was ready for their first ever conversation right then, but that's my opinion.
You're going to leave us at the mutiny! I'm all in Dee's POV and I kinda forgot where this was going. Oh noes! May be a while before I read that very last part, then. :-(
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Date: 2009-09-03 02:24 am (UTC)Seeing a bit of Lee/Dee reconciliation before that part was lovely, made me feel wistful and anticipatory at the same time. The Louis/Dee scenes, as always, made me smile—and I loved getting to see what Dee did on the algae planet aside from the mission. The scene with Cally and Sam made me smile, as did the Dee/Sam scene following. I've always liked the fanon that those two had a bit of a friendship built from their solidarity through this whole mess.
And you know, I normally like Kara in spite of her flaws, but during this time period I'm totally cheering on Dee. I wouldn't kill her, but she deserves a couple dozen bitchslaps more than she got. As does Lee, but that's a recurring need. ;-)
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Date: 2009-09-03 12:10 pm (UTC)Heee. That's exactly how I feel about these two. I like Kara well enough. I don't generally fic or or read fic about her, but that has more to do with the fact that she was a main character and I felt like I got the bulk of her story. But I also have a VERY low tolerance for marital infidelity.
I love the idea of Dee-Sam friendship- I need to find more fics like that. It is sweet.
Thanks!