(no subject)

[lls_mutant]

Totally stealing this from kappamaki33:

Never Will I Ever meme: Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Heavy emphasis on the attempt to write. If you completely stump me on all three...I'll think of some kind of other prize, I guess.

Feel free to hand me anything you've ever seen me get fannish about.


Long day today. Not bad, just... well, I ran 10 miles. In the drizzling rain. And I started it off with a hill that made me imagine I was running Currahee with the Band of Brothers guys. I made it 10 miles, but when the hill hit again at the 11th... nope.

I also am very, very grateful I kept the Lansinoh I used to use while nursing. My sports bra rubbed a raw red line on my upper abdomen, and that sucker HURTS. I was half debating putting diaper rash cream on it when Howard suggested the Lansinoh.

I have come to the conclusion I am insane. What sort of person voluntarily runs 13 miles? For FUN? What the frak am I DOING, running a half-marathon? I'm officially bonkers.

Oh well. We all knew that anyway.

Oh, and I wrote fic! Freaks and Geeks, which I wrote for frak_that. It's the Helo-used-to-push-Gaeta-into-his-locker fic I've had kicking around in my head for ages. It was fun.

Okay. Off to... do... something.

Comments

[aome.livejournal.com]

You are running because you can. And then you can brag about it. :D (Oh, and Will says he always feels that way a week or two before a race.)

Btw, are you just coming in to town on the morning of the race? Or are you coming in on Sat to pick up your packet and then stay overnight?

I would attempt to stump you with "Never will you ever write a genuinely-meant Remus/Tonks romance" - except if you took me up on it, I'd have to read it, and I'd rather say, politely but firmly, "Never will I ever..." to that. ;-)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it's normal :)

I'm coming in to town on Saturday and staying overnight- thank God! I'm really looking forward to it :) Will you guys be down there?

Hehhehehehehehehe. I'm relieved!

[aome.livejournal.com]

Yep, we're coming down Sat, staying at the Marriott (v close to the convention center where you pick up your race packets). I'm not sure when we're coming down - it depends on whether MiniPlu gets tested for blue belt that day or not. I suppose there's no point in arriving before normal check-in time, regardless, but it will be slightly later if we have to stick around for testing, first. When are you heading into the city? Maybe we can find a common place where we and your husband/boys can cheer together? :D

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! (And good luck to MiniPlu if she gets tested that day!)

I'm actually headed into the city the night before as well, and staying at the Marriot, too! :) I have to be down in time to pick up my race packet, so I need to be there by five, but I don't want to leave TOO early in the morning, so Howard can have the morning off. I'm having dinner with some friends, but otherwise, I am gloriously free!!!!

Howard's actually not coming to the race. We talked about it and decided it was too much effort with the boys, so he's staying home with them. Which is totally fine with me (see other post :P ), but yeah, he won't be around to cheer. Ah, well!

[snorkackcatcher]

You're running half-marathons? This has never appealed to me, on the grounds that a coronary probably wouldn't be much fun.

Er, three fics you wouldn't write. This is kind of conceptually difficult. :) Let's say:

(1) Harry decides that his ideal choice of career is a tax accountant in Uncle Vernon's business. Bonus points for illustrating loopholes in the VAT regulations.

(2) Hermione discovers that she is the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe. Bonus points for her suggesting that Ron take up baseball, or that his family really should go into politics en bloc.

(3) Remus's werewolfly urges make him the Horndogwolf of Hogwarts, Bonus points for resolving extreme tension between him and James on the matter of Lily witb a hawt threesome.

My brain worries me sometimes. :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

"No," Vernon said, categorically.

"But you haven't even looked at my resume," Harry insisted. "I-"

"It's written on parchment with a quill," Vernon grunted. "That tells me everything I need to know."

You can't Confund him, Harry reminded himself. You're giving up magic all together. No spells. His hand crept away from his wand.

"But my Arithmancy grades-"

Vernon eyed him skeptically. "You didn't even take Arithafancy," he accused. "What, you don't think I looked at the marks they sent you?"

"You did?" Harry said, baffled. He honestly didn't think that Vernon had.

It was dawning on Harry that getting this job would be a lot harder than he ever dreamed.

(No VAT regulations. I don't understand that myself! :) And yeah, I'm running a half-marathon a week from tomorrow. I'm INSANE.)

[snorkackcatcher]

Brilliant -- perfectly judged and hilarious, packing a lot of neat one liners into a small space. :)

[aome.livejournal.com]

LOL - this was great.

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Hm...

1) Cavil being nice to a human
2) Gaeta with his own children
3) (I'm guessing you'll probably pick this one, but now that I've thought of it, I can't help myself) Admiral Cain at a tea party ;)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I can't resist the tea party one. (Especially since there's a chance I might write #1 and I could easily write #2 since you didn't specify that he has to live with the mother ;) ) I do love the goddaughter idea....




"You sit between Silla and Tara," Molly ordered Helena. "Uncle Lou can sit over there." She pointed grandly.

Helena adjusted her feather boa and folded herself into a seat. "Molly, I really-"

"Hush," Molly said imperiously. "Mommy always says you don't speak until you're spoken to at the tea table."

"Then how does a conversation get started?" Helena asked in what she considered a reasonable tone of voice.

"Hush!" Molly shot back in a perfect imitation of Rika. "Uncle Lou, would you like some tea?"

Hoshi carefully adjusted the plastic tiara he was wearing and extended his cup. "That would be lovely, Molly. Thank you ever so much."

Molly poured plain tap water into his cup, and then held up a plate with sandwich cookies. "You may have one," she said.

"Thank you. It looks like a very good cookie."

"I made them with Mommy's mixer," Molly pretended, despite the fact they were obviously the packaged sort. She turned to Helena. "Would you like one, Aunt Hel?"

"Thank you." Helena took her cookie and automatically twisted it open.

"No!" Molly insisted, as she raised half to her mouth to lick the cream. "You can't do it like that!"

"Yes, I can," Helena said.

"No! You can't! You don't eat these like that! No!" Molly stamped her foot.

"I am a Colonel," Helena pointed out. "Unless you are a Commander or an Admiral, you don't get to tell me how to eat my cookies."

"I'm hostess," Molly insisted. "And if you don't eat your cookie right, you can't have any more tea."

Hoshi, the bastard, had twisted his cookie open without any comment from the hostess. He licked it slowly, his eyes twinkling at Helena. Even the doll sitting next to him seemed to be mocking her.

"Just you wait until we get back to the ship," she told him quietly. "You won't be laughing then."

"But I'll get to eat my cookies cream first."

"So you think." Helena snorted.

Hoshi was delusional if he thought he was going to get any cookies when they got back to the Pegasus.

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's adorable, and I love that Cain is trying to reason with a little girl by pointing out her rank. And that Hoshi gets away with eating the cookie cream first. (And Rika sounds *quite* intimidating herself.)

[prophetkristy.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEE *flails* this is adorable. And someone needs to Photoshop Hoshi with a plastic tiara :-D

[geekbynight.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember this one. Good fun.


1.Gaeta/Starbuck
2.Gaeta and Kendra Shaw (not really as a couple, more like the main characters)
3. Cylon!Zarek

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

How had this happened? Tom didn't know, but what was annoying was that they were all on the other ship. He remembered now... Galen Tyrol, Saul Tigh, Tory Foster, Sam Anders... and himself. (And whoever had the idea of one female with four male models had a lot to answer for, he thought.) He didn't remember anything else, but he remembered that much.

It took a little following, but even as a human, Tom had always been good at sneaking around. As a Cylon, he was even better at it. He opened the door to the weapons locker.

"He sings," Anders was saying, but he cut himself off and glared at Tom. "What the frak are you... oh. Oh." The light came on.

"You've got to be frakking kidding me," Tigh said from the corner. "Is this some kind of a joke?"

"If it is, it's a piss poor one," Tom agreed. "But you know it's not."

"Thirty-nine thousand people left in the Fleet, and we have to get stuck with you as the last of the Final Five?" Tigh groaned. "There's proof that if there are gods, they hate us."

Tom sat on a crate next to Tyrol, who just looked up, nodded, and went back to playing with whatever he was fixing. "Could be worse," he said.

"How?" Tigh demanded.

"Baltar," Tyrol said casually.

They all shuddered at the thought.

"Well," Tory sighed, "I guess we've got some sort of representation in the government now."

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

LOL at that last line. xD

Zarek would have made an interesting fifth, though that would have gone even further into the level of weird how all of them fought so hard on New Caprica. (Though being on the wrong ship is certainly a good excuse to have the fifth be missing. Hmmm.)

[puszysty.livejournal.com]

1. Epic Adama/Gaeta
2. Hoshi breaks up with Gaeta
3. Felix despises Zarek (or vice versa)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Do you really want to even read either of the first two? I didn't think so :)

The party on Colonial One was in full swing. Felix had emerged from his office long enough to see if there was a point in attending. There wasn't. It wasn't that Felix objected to cutting loose a bit or a little casual sex... it was that Baltar's idea of a good time was largely female. There were better places to look for action. But he did manage to procure a drink, and he headed back to his office to enjoy it in peace and then close up for the night.

To his amazement, voices were coming from beyond the open door.

"And this, ladies, is a real government desk. All sorts of laws get passed on it."

One of the ladies giggled. "Is this your desk?"

"No, my desk is at the other end of the hall. I-" Zarek looked up as Felix stood in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I don't know," Felix said. "It is my office." He looked at the two women. They were both young and almost interchangeable, even if they did have different colors of hair. "I think the better question is what are you doing here?"

Zarek shrugged. "Just... enjoying the perks of the position," he said. The blonde ran her fingers through his hair, and he plopped down in Felix's chair, grinning. "Prison was a lonely place."

"Especially when you're so unjustly incarcerated," one of the girls said.

For a moment, Felix stood still in shock that she even knew the word, much less pronounced it correctly. Then he shook his head. "Well, what's wrong with your own office? Or even your tent?"

Zarek shrugged. "Farther away, and the night is quite wild, if you hadn't heard."

"Maybe for some people." Felix had the nasty suspicion that this was Zarek's retaliation for him squashing the motion last week. "The rest of us plan on working. Get out."

Zarek didn't look up. "I heard," he said, "that there's a certain young gentleman making his way to the bar tent tonight. Is that right, Shelly?"

"My brother said he was going there, that's right," Shelly agreed.

"And I should care because...?"

"Isn't he that nurse?" the other girl asked Shelly. "My sister tried to get in his pants, but he wouldn't have anything to do with her. Said he preferred men. And smart ones at that."

Felix's heart changed pace uncomfortably. He looked at his desk, and then looked out the window. He'd been watching Jake Mcintire for a while... ever since he'd realized things with Gaius weren't going anywhere. For a moment, he waffled between sex and propriety.

Sex definitely won out.

"Get out of my office," he said, and then turned and stalked away.

Behind him, he heard Zarek laughing.

[puszysty.livejournal.com]

Well you did ask for fics you'd never write. ;)

Yay bitchy!Felix

[kappamaki33.livejournal.com]

This is great--and, it qualifies for the "What Happens on New Caprica, Stays on New Caprica" Challenge, doesn't it?

[falafel-musings.livejournal.com]

Fun meme! Especially since I know your BSG/fic peeves. These will probably just make you laugh.

1) a fic where Felix cheats on Hoshi with Gaius and then joins his cult/hareem as a converted believer in the One True God.

2) a fic where Zarek really is an evil guy who enjoys messing with Felix's head and plans to kill him once the mutiny is done.

3) a fic where Tigh/Caprica's baby lives and Tigh, 6, Gaius and Ellen decide they all must raise the baby together so it has enough "love!" to survive.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

"Are you that man?"

You're kidding me, right? Tom eyed the young man sitting before him, hope so desperately stamped on his face. "I'm one of them," he said. "But I need a partner."

Gaeta rose to his feet. "You've got one." They shook.

***

It was going to be desperately easy.

He needed Gaeta, Tom knew that. He couldn't take over the ship and dispose of Adama without him. He just frankly didn't have the information or the ability. But after Adama was gone (and Tigh as well), the ship would be in enough chaos that they would listen to anyone with a strong enough voice to command. Gaeta thought he had that voice, but Tom had seen him in action on New Caprica. Gaeta wasn't a leader- he was the right hand man that kept everything going.

The question of how to kill Gaeta was easily answered. Too easily answered. Tom had seen the reports of Raptor 718, and that Gaeta had had syringes of morpha on him. And even better, he knew where he got them from. So, kill Gaeta with morpha, make it look like an overdose, blame Lieutenant Hoshi for giving him the drugs and lock him up, and then swoop in and bring the military under his own command. Nothing could be easier.

It was almost disappointing.

[falafel-musings.livejournal.com]

Heeee! Your evil Zarek is really rather amusing. I love that he finds betraying Gaeta so easy it disappoints him. And the idea that Zarek would frame Hoshi for the bad morph is just soooooo eviiiiil.

I love that this fic in set in your icon!

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

1. Admiral Dee, just because you talk about it so much
2. Requited Zarek/Roslin.
3. Gaeta/Anders

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

The Raptor door shut. Dee looked at Lampkin with barely concealed dislike. He smiled at her.

"Well," he said, "the last Admiral and President didn't much like each other at first."

"We're not hooking up," Dee informed him.

Lampkin laughed. "Didn't say we were," he said, fondling his dog's ears. "Haven't seen you around much since you left Adama."

"I've been busy," Dee muttered.

"So I hear. Busy burying the dead."

Dee looked away, because it was true. Louis's suicide still hurt like a part of her was missing, and Felix's death was a huge gaping hole that couldn't hurt because if she let it hurt, she'd start crying and never stop. That the Old- that Adama had killed Felix and never once looked back... Dee and Helo had held a small ceremony together, but no one else had so much as spoken his name. The Raptor jounced, and she suddenly became aware she'd been silent too long. "It's hardly just burying friends," she said.

"No. But you've left your husband, buried two- no, three- of your closest friends, and lost all your faith in a man you loved as dearly as a father. And you're about to bury a few more. You're a busy woman, Admiral Dualla."

"I will be." Dee shifted her bag aside and pulled out some files. "If the Galactica hasn't returned in eighteen hours, we need a plan right then and there. We can't keep people waiting- they need to know that they have strong leadership that they can count on."

Lampkin grunted, and then fished through his pocket. "Here," he said, extending the knife that had belonged to her father. "I suspect you'll be needing this, then."

"Where did you get that?"

"Doesn't matter much, now, does it? What's past? All that matters to us is what we've got here in front of us. And this, young lady, this razor is what's in the here and now." He looked at her over his shades. "Kind of poetic, don't you think?"

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is excellent. I love how Dee knows she has to be strong and do what needs to be done. The way she can't let herself think about Felix is painful. And the way Romo just... knows things about her, things he has no business knowing, that's so in character for him.

For a moment I wasn't sure what he meant when he said she'd lost three friends, and then I remembered Noel, and your fanon, and god it hurt even more. (Also made me wonder about the status of Teacher's Pet. Me? Needy? Nope. ;) ) The way she was instinctively thinking of Bill as the Old Man and then mid-thought switched to Adama, god, that just echoed so much of how I felt about him during 4.5 that I can barely articulate it. Having that come from Dee, of all people...

This convinces me ever further that you should have written this show.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I was actually pretty pleased at how this little one came out :)

Teacher's Pet is on hold for a little bit, I think. I have to have my rough draft of the Sweet Eight kidnaps 718 bigbang done by October 1. (Or more done than it is.) The stuff that takes place on the Colony is going slowly, because they just SIT. They're currently playing ball with rolled up socks right now because they're all so bored.

But it will get written! :) Thanks! :)

[tin-o-biscuits.livejournal.com]

1- Tigh didn't get Caprica pregnant, Felix did.
2- Zarek/Felix, not a secret to anyone
3- Felix is deeply religious