For Geekbynight

[lls_mutant]

This post is really for geekbynight, although if anyone else really wants to read it, feel free. She asked me about my outlining process, and if she could see one of my outlines. This is the working outline for The Space Between Us.



This is definitely the working outline- you can see where I've made some huge changes, starting right with the first point :)



Title: What Consequence This Brings (working title)
Summary: Raptor 718 jumped away from the Fleet with a purpose.
Rules: If it happened or was revealed before where the webisodes belong, I have to deal. If it happened after, I can accept it or change it.

***

Raptor 718

-The discover they're nowhere near the fleet. Brooks tries to repair the scrubber, gets electrocuted. Rather than waiting and killing off the others, Sweet!Eight immediately suggests networking with the Raptor. She ends up sending out a pulse. They see lights, someone picks them up… it's a heavy Raider. The Raptor is taken to the Colony, where Sweet!Eight gets off. She hands them over to Cavil, and a Four comes forward. She makes it clear she regrets her actions and is in love with the Four. Cavil appears to accetp her overtures, Four's acceptance is enthusiastic. They embrace… Cavil shoots Sweet!Eight, just to get his point across. He's ready to start shooting the others, Five points out bargaining power, trade for Final Five. (Cavil mocks the idea.)
-Another Four mentions about babies and experimenting. Pilot!Eight announces she's already pregnant. Cavil orders tests, and a few Cylons already start dragging Easy away. Easy fights and starts screaming.
-Shark grabs a gun and shoots Easy. One of the Fives shoots Shark.
-Gaeta and Pilot!Eight are imprisoned.

***

Galactica

-Hoshi and Racetrack return from search for missing Raptor. Goatee!Two tells them that the time is up, the Raptor is out of air. They're dead.
-Funeral- most of the main cast is there. Tigh also notices Zarek there, and that Zarek seems genuinely upset. Baltar also seems upset; Tigh is not nearly as convinced. Caprica wipes a tear, Adama is stony, Tigh realizes he's drunk. Laura is absent.
-Hall of Remembrance- Hoshi's staring at Felix's picture, meets Goatee!Two. Goatee!Two is staring at a picture of Pilot!Eight. Friendship starts forming, Hoshi hurries off to duty.
-Meeting about alliance, Tyrol states what Cylons want, and what they're willing to give. Adama accepts, Lee points out it won't be an easy sell. (Similar to canon.)
-Quorum meeting- Tom makes it clear that he's against this, Lee tries to exercise diplomacy.
-The Heite Khan jumps away. (Although it's not the point of the scene, make it clear how overworked and run down Hoshi is.)

***

Colony

-Pilot!Eight is confirmed pregnant.
-Pilot!Eight and Gaeta are being held in the same cell. Gaeta dragged back after torture. To his astonishment, he wakes up and sees Ellen.

***

Galactica

-Adama has forced Zarek's confession- tells Tigh that he plans on keeping him in prison. Tigh warns that won't be a popular move. Adama doesn't care.
-Tigh notices some small skirmishes, Lee commiseration about the state of the Fleet. Tigh thinks something big is brewing. Lee: "Is that your Cylon senses tingling?"
-Lee's concerned, goes to Tory to see if she can talk to Laura, thinks that a public gesture between them would help. Tory flat out refuses.
-Hoshi-Two scene, obviously been spending time together. Hoshi offers to train Two on some Colonial equipment.
-Hoshi goes to Adama's study and tries to persuade him to let Two work the CIC with him. After an argument (no Cylon will ever work in the CIC- but Athena's a pilot!), Adama agrees… but with a condition. (Last line is the condition line.)

***

Colony

-Gaeta in torture again, gets head!Dee, who helps him through it.
-Cut to Pilot!Eight and Ellen. Mother/daughter like conversation between them, and Ellen's delighted. A little exposition about the Cylon skinjob creation, just to make it clear I'm keeping that part canon.
-Four comes in, expresses his unhappiness (not in so many words) at Cavils treating them like this. Very upset over Sweet!Eight. Although it's not explicitly said, seeds of an alliance start forming.

***

Galactica

-Adama swears Two into Colonial Fleet. Two takes Oath proudly, Hoshi serves as witness.
-Hoshi and Two are walking through the halls afterwards, hear angry comments about a Cylon in uniform. Fellowship/friendship/I'll stand by you type sentiments. (Might be a good spot for a Baltar scene, as well? If I'm doing the whole police force idea?)
-Protests start calling for the release of Zarek and his instatement as President. Tigh goes down to the brig to find Zarek speechifying to a small group, including Narcho. Tigh shoos them all out.
-Meeting between Laura, Tigh, Adama and Lee, Lee argues against alliance, Laura points out HE forged it. Bring up unrest on ships. Laura suggests Centurion patrols. Lee says no. Tigh points out that civilian guards may be necessary, suggests arming Baltar's cult. "At least make them useful." No one likes this idea, Bill's still lost and drunk.
-Meeting between Narcho and Tory- discuss mutiny, shake.

***

Colony

-Ellen's working on Boomer, trying to get them out. Very No Exit, pretty similar, except add in Pilot!Eight- Ellen uses Pilot!Eight's pregnancy as ammo.
-Gaeta talks to Head!Dee, realizes others can't see her, and he's turning into Gaius. Dee says well, at least HE won't start humping air. Brooks or Pilot!Eight sees stump is in bad condition, worries that Gaeta is delirious- gets a Centurion to get the Four.

***

Galactica

-Tory and Narcho put their plan into action
-Tigh and Cap6 are drugged (helps contribute to the miscarriage!) and taken. Dumped into cell with others, including Anders, Tyrol, goatee!Two, Lee, Sonja, Jaffee, Sian, and a few random Cylons that never had names.
-Hoshi is taken by the Sunshine Boys on his run, they're angry because a Pegasus soldier is allying with the Cylons; they rape him as revenge.
-Hoshi's dumped into the cell (Tigh POV), Tigh realizes what happened and tries not to broadcast it. Various prison stuff here.
-Adama gets the call, told to end the alliance or 1 human and 1 Cylon will die every hour, Cylon leader gets the same call.
-Adama/Roslin think Zarek's behind this, Go to Zarek's cell. Argue with Zarek, who maintains he has nothing to do with it. Eventually points out an hour's gone by.
-Narcho and Tory come into the cell (Narcho is furious about what happened to Hoshi), and dramatically execute hostages (Jaffee and a Six), emphasis on who's shooting who. (Narcho shoots Jaffee, Tory shoots Six). Gage and Vireem take the bodies up to be found.

***

Colony

-More with Cavil wanting to get info, head!Dee helping Felix. She also gives him some ideas of what's going on and what's coming- small hints.
-More with Four helping Ellen, Pilot!Eight. Move this along.

***

Galactica

-Athena is able to hack into Galactica's system and trace where the calls are coming from- calls on the brig, which increases Adama's certainty that Zarek is behind this. Launches a rescue op with Kara, the Agathons, and Marines.
-Tom suggests to Laura that they threaten to flush HIM out the airlock to get the kidnappers to give up. Says it won't help if a Cylon is involved, but if it's human, then it very well might. Adama has no real objection, but is aware that they only have one shot, and he doesn't want to waste it. Zarek insists it will work.
-Helo, Starbuck, Athena et al. sneak down to the brig, find the prisoner's location- go through vents a la Chief 
-Adama: "We know where you are" Narcho: "You send troops down, we'll exceute all the hostages before they can break through." While Adama's on the phone, they execute Sian and a two. "We'll be dead, but so will they."

***

Colony

-Ramp up of Cavil threat towards Ellen specifically
-Note that Four has spread some word about Ellen
-Boomer starts looking worried, evidence of even other 1s, 4s, and 5s not being thrilled about the idea of Cavil threatening one of the Final Five
-Ellen/Cavil showdown in front of Pilot!Eight or Gaeta, insinuates that Cavil did something extremely terrible to Ellen, that he stole her children. Daniel comes out. But there's a loose thread that does not.

***

Galactica

-Adama makes the threat to execute Tom while Narcho and Tory are near the hostages. Narcho's freaked out, Tory's not (Because, after all, it's the human leader, and she never loved Tom Zarek anyway) Tigh sees Narch waivering, tried to appeal to him. Tory tells Tigh to shut up, Galen gets a flash that she never liked Tigh anyway. (Some Final Five stuff.)
-The Fighting Agathon crew manages to capture a few mutineers. Use them as a human shield to push through to the brig actual. One mutineer does shoot, one of the shield mutineers dies. Others stop.
-Gage and Vireem and others are in with Narcho/Tory. Narcho's starting to say gig is up, Tory accuses him of being soft, especially after what happened to Hoshi. Narcho says there's a huge difference between a bullet to the head and what happened. It's one thing to kill a man, it's another to destroy him first.
-Agathons et al burst in, gunfire. Kara throws the unpinned grenade, and yes, she thinks it's funny. Tory starts killing hostages, kills a Two, non-fatally wounds a Six before Helo and a Marine get to her. Pinned down, the hostage takers surrender.
-Athena recognizes Vareem and Gage. Shoots one. Everyone (Helo, Tigh, etc.) demands she stop as they've surrendered. Hoshi convinces her to give him the gun. Before anyone can stop him, he turns around and shoots the other. ("I need this, Hoshi. I deserve this." "No you don't, Athena. Give me the gun." Their eyes locked, and she handed it over. Hoshi turned on his heel and fired the gun right into Gage's face. "You don't deserve it half as much as I do.")
-Hostages are rescued. Yay!
-Adama still not convinced of Zarek's innocence (completely believes he would martyr himself), puts him back in his cell. Zarek's PISSED (although we won't establish it here, Zarek IS actually innocent in this part).
-Medical care- Cap6 needs help with what turns into miscarriage, Hoshi needs assistance.
-Adama talks to Sonja, who was one of the hostages and loudest in the support for alliance. They eventually agree that they both need to execute their own leader, and that it needs to be a statement.
-Tory and Narcho (WAH!) are executed.

***

Colony

-Cavil starts preparing to cut Ellen's head open, Boomer allegedly helps her escape. Has to rush her out of there; can't get 718 people.
-After escape, Pilot!Eight notices that Cavil's very happy. They realize Cavil let Ellen go on purpose, and he's planning something. Four finds out he's after Hera.
-Start thinking about ways to get out of here, or if they can't, how they can take the Colony down with them.

***

Galactica

-Ellen arrives, as soon as she gets off Raptor, hugs Starbuck and says "you made it home." Starbuck is confused as hell. Ellen asks for Saul, Boomer is imprisoned.
-Tigh is in infirmary with Cap6; Ellen comes in. Tigh is dumbstruck.
-Anders is on hanger deck, upset over everything. Starts tossing a ball around. Kara/Sam conversation as they start to play. Game gets more intense, Same gets a flashback during play of Tigh and Ellen in the lab, saying it's done.
-Briefing. Ellen gives her story, then also tells Roslin, Tigh, Adama and Lee that Raptor 718 made it to the Colony, and Pilot!Eight and Gaeta are alive. Adama is amazed. Tigh says they need to let Hoshi and the Two know right away- they deserve that. Bill hesitates (because he's not sure it will do any good), and there's a Tigh/Bill skirmish.
-Laura interrupts, brings up the matter of keeping peace on Galactica. Points out that people like Hoshi and Two were kidnapped, and more security is required. (more smoothly than this, though.) Suggests Centurions, vehement disagreement. Meeting ends badly.
-Lee checks up on Tom, who's still pissed. Tom gleefully points out that Laura's dictatorial policies lead them with one other option- Baltar's cult. He's all in favor of it because it will royally piss Laura AND Adama off, plus it's humans policing their own. Lee realizes there's truth there.
-Adama and Tigh finally tell Hoshi and Two that Gaeta and Pilot!Eight are alive. Hoshi immediately assumes that they'll mount a rescue mission, Adama says no (which Two sort of assumed). Hoshi starts pleadind- maybe a Raptor could slip in undetected, and he's willing to risk his life to go- Adama says it's suicide. Hoshi says he's fine with that. Adama says no again, and this time, it's final. Two clearly accepts the order, Hoshi clearly does not.
-Lee gives the police force to Baltar.
-Cap6 finally has the miscarriage.
-Tigh/Ellen conversation. Tigh says how maybe it's for the best- he would have been a lousy father. Ellen says that Tigh always had the best of intentions towards their children (meaning the skinjobs) and their daughter, and look what happened there. Tigh: Daughter? Ellen: We named her Kara, after your sister.

***

Colony

-Dee tells Felix the Fleet WILL come. He'll know when it's time, and they'll have to be ready to disable the hybrids.
-Felix discusses this with Pilot!Eight. He's skeptical about a signal, Pilot!Eight says maybe they can create one. Talks about getting Four on it and sending a message to the basestar.

***

Galactica

-Tigh drinks. Finish Tigh/Ellen conversation, Tigh decides to do nothing until he gets used to it and gets out of losing Liam, which Ellen understands. Explains that Kara knows nothing about it- Cavil wiped her memory, too.
-Hoshi tries again to convince Adama to send a rescue mission or to somehow get Felix out of there, Adama refuses. Hoshi mouths off.
-Tyrol's been visiting Boomer, also the Cylons still want Boomer for treason. Tyrol approaches Hoshi about freeing her, says she's offered to help him rescue 718. Hoshi agrees (starts to mention Two, but they both know Two won't go for it), and uses his clearance to help Tyrol free Boomer.
-Boomer kidnaps Hera and flees Galactica. Not sure if she sleeps with Helo, because I thought that was kind of gratuitous.
-Helo/Athena reaction scene.
-Adama tosses Tyrol and Hoshi in the brig. (Hoshi freaks out a bit, given that he's put right back where he was when he was a hostage.)
-Helo-Adama conversation about rescuing Hera, mainly canon
-Anders/Pyramid, more flashbacks. Memory of leaving Earth and downloading.
-Tigh-Adama conversation- why AREN'T we even considering a rescue mission, dealing with repairs, talk about the Galactica's state.
-Helo visits Hoshi/Tyrol with the whole forgiveness thing- Hoshi's sleeping, Tyrol talks to Helo. Conversation between Tyrol and Helo similar to canon, but add on that Tyrol realizes that Hoshi's not bearing up well, given what had happened in here before. Asks Helo to get Adama to do something, just wanted to get back the only thing he's got left to fight for, yada yada yada. (Thought: in some ways, this might be better split into two scenes, where Helo has his forgiveness conversation with Tyrol, and either Baltar or Cap6 comes down to see how they're doing, and they're the one that talks to Adama or Tigh about Hoshi. Actually, yeah, I like that, because then:
-Adama-Tigh-Roslin-Baltar meeting, Baltar giving reports on security. This is when either Cap6 (if she's there) or Baltar brings up the matter of Hoshi. Tigh dismisses them. After Baltar leaves, Roslin and Tigh rip Adama a new one for not even considering moving Hoshi. Tigh tells Adama he's not being the leader he was.
-Cap6 IS there, because then there can be a nice, awkward Baltar-Cap6 conversation right after.
-Roslin collapses.
-Adama/Roslin scene- she tells him Tigh's right, he's been drifting. Bill's been dying ever since Earth, just like her, just like Galactica, and she doesn't want that. Tells him to go rescue Hera, keep her safe.
-Roslin dies.

***

Colony

-Cavil is sick of dealing with Hera, makes Gaeta take care of her. Gaeta-Hera bonding.
-Plan starts coming together. Four suggests that they send a message, has Pilot!Eight and Gaeta give him code phrases that only certain people would know. (Pilot!Eight gives her and Two's names, Gaeta gives lyrics to My Three Wishes? Think on this)
-Four says he'll send message.

***

Galactica

-Laura's funeral; no new confirmation right away out of respect. Rumblings, however, about Zarek.
-Confirmation that Galactica is dying.
-Ellen and Tigh watch Sam and Kara play Pyramid. Ellen says how much she hates Cavil for erasing the memory that she even HAD a daughter. Explains more how she helped Kara escape in a captured Viper. They debate on if they should tell her. (Might be here that she explains that Cavil erased everyone's memory of a Sixth, but apparently had a glitch in one of the Twos, whose memory got a little corrupted and he remembered just enough that he thought Kara had a special destiny and was touched by God and all that.)
-Sam remembers that they were headed towards a habitable planet. Ellen says that she already remembered that part, doofus, but she can't remember where the frak it is. Sam keeps playing, finally says he doesn't remember where home is, but he finally remembers where they parked the car. He's got the coordinates for the Colony.
-this might go elsewhere, but Baltar patrolling, thinking at the same time. Calculating Pilot!Eight's pregnancy, Cap6's pregnancy, realizes that both pregnancies started very shortly after the destruction of the hub. Mortality leads to pregnancy (make that exposition with head!Six)
-Adama goes to brig, moves Hoshi. During the transfer, asks Hoshi why he did what he did. Hoshi explains to Adama that he loves Gaeta, and asks how Adama can even ask this after sitting in a Raptor waiting for Roslin. (Part of the conversation happens in front of Zarek.) Adama puts Hoshi in cell with Zarek.
-On basestar, Sonja gets the message that the Four sends, that Gaeta, Four, and Pilot!Eight are going to disable the Hybrids in 48 hours.
-Sonja tells Adama and Tigh about it. They're excited but dubious. Sonja says there were two other messages, gives the codes. They catch on and take them to Tim and Hoshi- both of them recognize the messages, confirm reality. Tigh and Adama walk back through the Rememberence hall. Tigh wonders if Galactica can handle it. Adama says maybe they should send her out with style.
-Adama decides to rescue Hera, Raptor 718.

***

Colony

-Dee tells Felix it will be soon; Felix realizes Hera can see Dee. They talk a little about projection.
-Pilot!Eight and Four get ready. Plan is basically that Gaeta will help Hera, and Pilot!Eight and Four will do the hybrid. But they likely need Hera's help.

***

Galactica

-The "stay/go" line scene. Same people, except that Baltar steps over the line.
-Adama goes down to see Tyrol. Tyrol's all for it, and Tyrol has a suggestion. Says that while they're there, they could blow up the Colony, if someone was willing to take a nuke inside. Adama says he couldn’t ask anyone to do that, Tyrol says he doesn't have to- he'd do it. Stuff about how the skin jobs were their creations, and they needed to take responsibility. Adama agrees.
-Tigh-Kara scene somewhere in here. Tigh tells her that she's a Cylon, and more than that, she's his daughter. A little more exposition, both of them comment on how strange it is, Kara wonders if they liked each other before this and Tigh says no, he's pretty sure that they didn't, even though he must have loved her.
-Somewhere in here (I really need to figure out the spacing), Tigh and Kara and Anders are all in Joe's. Anders wrote AatWT based on Earth II's coordinates, taught it to anyone who could learn. Tigh used to play piano, taught Kara. They end up playing AATWT together on the bar piano.
-Adama goes down to the brig to see Zarek and Hoshi. They both tell him immediately they'll go. He says no, they won't. First gives Hoshi his Admiral pins, and then leads them both up to the hangar deck, where there's a priest and the press. Swears Zarek in. Admiral of the Fleet, President of the Colonies. (Two becomes Hoshi's XO, which is why Adama chose Hoshi. Also tries to get Zarek to choose a VP, but Zarek heads him off and picks Sonja before Adama can force it on him.)
-Everyone not going abandons Galactica.

***

Colony

-Hera tells Felix it's time.
-They go down to shut down the hybrid. Four and Eight do something to the hookup so that they're sure whatever happens to her happens to the rest of the Colony. Hybrid tells them that Galactica is coming in. Hera says her mommy and daddy are coming for her. Hybrid recognizes her as first of God's New Generation, smiles.

***

Galactica/Colony

-Galactica jumps in, Viper assault, rams the Colony.
-Hybrid shuts down here. Pilot!Eight, Four, Hera, and Gaeta work on getting towards Galactica.
-The rescue: three groups: Starbuck, Sam, and Lee help Tyrol get to the center of the Colony. Helo and Athena lead one rescue group, Baltar and Cap6 lead the other. Baltar and Cap6 see head!Baltar and head!Six, they tell them to go this way.
-Here's where I'm not sure what happens yet, because I'm not sure if the Agathons live or die. But the end result of the rescue mission is this:
-In CIC: Adama, Tigh,
-Baltar and Cap6 find them first. Baltar carries Hera, Cap6 carries Gaeta, who gets a gun and gets to shoot over her back, and Pilot!Eight and Four all get off, but there's some sort of combat-related delay and they don't get on the ship yet.
-Kara, Lee, and Sam get Galen to the center, say goodbye. They get the hell out of dodge back to the CIC.
-Some of the Cylons realize Galen is aboard and what he's going to do, come in to stop him. Someone starts shooting- Boomer has come down. Once they're safe, Boomer apologizes to Galen for kidnapping Hera. He doesn't out and out forgive her, but he doesn't not, either. She offers to stay and help defend him, he accepts. And right before he sets off the bomb, she does the projection and they're in the house again. They die together, taking out the Colony.
-Cavil comes into the CIC, says they have Gaeta, Hera, and a pregnant Cylon. Says he'll trade all three for the secret to resurrection. A little arguing, a little brandishing. Confirmation that everyone's on. Lee takes center stage, informs Cavil they've found a habitable planet, and there's a nuke on the Colony. All 1s, 4s, and 5s willing to live in peace (at a lower tech level) can come with them now. Otherwise, the Colony is going to blow.
-In the end, the Tigh family (Ellen, Saul, and Kara) all shoot Cavil.
-Some 1s, 4s and 5s accept the offer.
-Baltar, Cap6, Gaeta, Pilot8 and Four are all helping Anders cover the entrance. "What am I supposed to do?" Anders asked. "Just shoot things," Felix answered. "You're good at that." Cap6 fires off one of those big gun thingies, saving them from oncoming old Centurions. Anders pats her on the shoulder and says "that's my girl."

-"Get us out of here"- Tigh and Kara both realize the significance of AatWT, put the coordinates in together.
-JUMP!
-Earth II, reunions. Raptor comes over with Zarek, Hoshi, and Two. Two and Eight immediately run to each other, standard happy reunion. Gaeta and Hoshi just kind of stare at each other for a long time. Hoshi hands over his stars, first, and then looks at Gaeta again, Zarek nudges him forward. They're tentative and fucked up, but they embrace, and something breaks and they're both crying- very emotional and yet restrained. Gaeta notices a new scar on Hoshi's forehead, and Hoshi says they have a lot to talk about.
Zarek shakes Adama's hand, says he's not handing HIS new rank in any time soon. Adama laughs.

-Earth II- Lee wants to do the tech plan. While getting rid of ALL tech is a bad idea, some of it is inevitable. Gaeta suggests that anyone who wants to settle on an island (points it out) that's near land, and if people want to stay, they can, if they don't, they can go. But points out that SOME technology would be good. They establish a settlement, call it Atlantis.

***

Endings

-Kara: decides she's not sure what she wants. She and Sam were married on Earth, but she realizes that they weren't happy. She knows she won't be happy with Lee. Goes off exploring alone.
-Lee: stays in Atlantis, works in the government as a lawyer, eventually remarries and has kids.
-Tom: Leader of Atlantis
-Sam: Stays, ends up working with Gaeta and Hoshi of all people.
-Gaeta and Hoshi: Stay, but build their house very much on the edges. Their relationship is very stormy for a while because they both have so much healing to do, but they stick it out. Eventually become the teachers at a school; Sam helps as well.
-Tigh/Ellen: advisors, not sure yet
-Two/Eight: something technological, have a family 
-Four: gets involved in medicine, works with Cottle
-Adama: lives with and then near the Tighs, spoils his grandkids rotten, sort of fades out of public life.
-Baltar/Cap6: get the farming projects going

-The Agathons: still have not decided if they live or die. The original idea was they die and Hera goes to Felix and Louis, but Felix and Louis are both fucked up and I don't think that's a happy ending for Hera. But she and Felix will stay close.

So, named characters that die:
-Roslin (cancer)
-Narcho (executed for mutiny)
-Tory (executed for mutiny)
-Sweet!Eight (killed by Cavil)
-Boomer (setting off nuke)
-Tyrol (setting off nuke)
-Shark (killed by a Doral)
-Easy (mercy killed by Shark)
-Cavil (killed by the Tighs)
-Gage (killed by Hoshi)
-Vareem (killed by Athena)
-Jaffee (killed as a hostage)
-Sian (killed as a hostage)

I think that's everyone….

***

"He shouldn't have even had to ask, Bill," Saul said.

Bill was sitting on the couch, staring morosely at a report he was meant to be reading. Saul was fairly certain he was only pretending to read it, and only so he didn't have to meet Saul's eyes. Eye. Whatever. "I have my reasons," Bill said.

"Give them to me."

"We have no idea where that Raptor is," Bill said. "It could have jumped anywhere. If you have any suggestions on where to start-"

"That's never stopped us before," Saul argued. "A Raptor can only jump so far." Bill didn't take a drink, but there was something about his posture that suggested he was thinking about it. Saul didn't like it. "We should at least try. Our people," Bill cocked an eyebrow at that, but Saul ignored it. "Our people are out there somewhere, and we're not trying to find them? That's a load of crap."

"It's practical," Bill said shortly.

"Yeah, well, you can tell that to Lieutenant Hoshi."

Bill flipped a page of his report. Then he looked up, brow furrowed. "Hoshi's giving you a hard time? Wouldn't have expected it."

"Yeah, well, apparently he and Gaeta had something going on." Bill snorted at that. Most times, Saul would have concurred, but there had been something desperate and sincere in Hoshi's face when he'd realized his slip; something that indicated this wasn't just a casual frak. "I don't think Hoshi'll find them, Bill," Saul said. "But he's got to know he tried." He swallowed hard. "You know that as well as I do."

Bill glanced up him, measuring and weighing. Saul could hear the silent question, You really think he loves him that much? Finally, Bill looked back down at the report.

"He's got sixteen hours, and then we're calling the search off. If the Raptor hasn't been found by then, they're out of air anyway."

Saul nodded. "I'll let him know."

Comments

[geekbynight.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful and makes far more sense than my own does up till now. Thank you so, so much for posting this!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Glad I could help! Like I said, feel free to ask me if you have any more questions. Writing processes are different for everyone, but I'm always glad to talk about mine.

[safenthecity.livejournal.com]

Oooh, very interesting to look at, especially having read the story and knowing what changes got made and what characters became more important than you thought. Oh, the Fighting Agathons. :'(

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I know! Brooks can thank Kappa for not dying in the first chapter and going on to become pretty fun. I'm SO glad she talked me into that one!

[lorrainemarker.livejournal.com]

This makes for a wonderful meta to look at it and see where things changed. The stuff that got left in and out. For very long stories I do something similar - a scene & PoV breakdown - although about half the planned scenes get deleted and I often change my PoV if the scene doesn't gel right.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was kind of funny to go back and look at it. It's neat to see what all you change, isn't it? :)