Commentary on Lesson for Lily
Mar. 16th, 2005 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantOne more commentary, because ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
minnow_53 asked so nicely. And because I can't concentrate today at all.
Well,minnow_53 wanted a commentary for my 1001ways entry, and since it’s barely two pages long and I like doing commentaries and I can’t concentrate to save my life at work today, why not? My version was in their bedroom, with Lily… watching. Yes, it’s deliberately a parallel of Accio Bananas! And I wrote it in half an hour, so I wasn’t overly concerned about quality or whatnot.
“Fine, you win,” Remus sighed, flinging himself down on his bed next to Sirius. “You have us hostage. What do you want?”
I hate Saint!Lily. I think this woman was just as mischievous and ass-kicking as her future husband was. And BOSSY. Wonder how she and Molly Weasley would have gotten along. Actually, a really, really fun fic would be the two of them butting heads when Harry was born. Molly trying to offer all this advise on what to do with a baby, and Lily about to blow up at her. Hmm….
“I want you two to answer a question for me,” Lily demanded, standing over them with her arms crossed.
Sirius and Remus looked at each other and shrugged. “All right.”
“How do you give a blow job?”
Heh. She’s DEFINITELY not as tentative as Ginny. But then, Ginny was asking her former professor and her crush’s godfather. Lily is asking the cling-ons of her boyfriend.
“What?”
“I mean it,” Lily insisted. “How do you give a blow job?”
Sirius’s mouth curled into something between a smirk and a smile. “Why do you want to know?”
He took it a lot better from Lily than from Ginny, huh?
Remus propped himself up on his elbows. “And what makes you think we know the answer?”
“Oh please,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “The rest of the school might be playing dumb, but I’m not stupid. And James said-“
“Told you Prongs had it worked out,” Sirius said smugly.
“Actually,” Lily interrupted, “Peter figured it out and told James.”
Because I do think Peter is VERY observant.
“Ha!” Remus contradicted. He waggled his eyebrows. “But that doesn’t explain why you need to know.”
Remus has already caught on to why she’s asking. He just wants to hear her say she’s going to blow his best friend. Perve.
Lily flushed red. “Why do you think?” Sirius snorted.
“Well, why ask us?” Remus asked reasonably. “Why not consult a book?”
Look, buddy. Just because YOU have a sex manual in your nightstand doesn’t mean everyone at Hogwarts does! Consult a book indeed.
“Do you really think they keep the Joy of Sex on the bookshelf in the library?” Having looked themselves, Sirius and Remus were forced to concede that point.
Does The Joy of Sex actually cover homosexual sex that Remus and Sirius would look? I mean, true, blow jobs are blow jobs no matter who’s giving them, but…. I’ve never actually read it.
“You ARE planning on using this knowledge, right?” Sirius checked.
Again, total opposite, huh?
“No, Sirius. I’m going to sell it for a sickle a telling. Get your sex advice from Gryffindor’s sex gods!”
“Well, since you call us sex gods…” Remus began.
“I suppose we can tell you,” Sirius finished.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially with these two. They should have preened.
“Oh good.”
“How much do you know?” Remus began tentatively.
Lily glared at him. “How much do you think?”
“Details…” prompted Sirius, an evil gleam in his eyes.
They’re both perverts! Who REALLY wants to hear the details about their friends’ sex lives?
Lily sighed. “Fine. We’ve done it.” They both began hooting. “You KNEW that! I know James told you, I’m not stupid!” she insisted, her face flaming red.
I love that they aren’t even coherent in their tormenting her. At least they didn’t laugh like Beavis and Butthead. “Heheh. She said “it”.
“That’s the second time you’ve said that,” Remus pointed out.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Sirius agreed.
Hey, even in canon they finish each other’s sentences!
“Shut up, you gits, and tell me how to do it. And you-“ she said, reeling on Remus, “don’t point out you can’t shut up and explain simultaneously.”
Remus closed his mouth, disappointed.
Because you KNOW that’s the first thing he’d say.
“Erm, okay,” Sirius said, sitting up. “Well, ah, the first thing you need to do is find a comfortable position.”
“Kneeling?” Lily asked.
“Nah. Kneeling is hard on the knees, and it’s really good but it’s not really easy, y’know?” Sirius lay back on the bed. “The best think is with Prongs laying on his back, like this, and you- Moony, show her- laying in between his legs. See?”
Sirius is right. I had fun writing a very different form of speech for Sirius in this one versus Remus in Accio Bananas!. Sirius is smart- yes- but I don’t think he’s so formal in his speech patterns.
“Easy on the arms, knees, and everything else,” Remus agreed.
“Okay.”
“Now, knowing Prongs, he’ll be about ready to shoot his load as soon as he hears you’re willing to do this,” Sirius continued. “But if he’s not, get him warmed up. Just kind of stroke and- Moony, what are you doing?”
Yet again, Sirius demonstrates his keen powers of intellect. And yes, it can be inferred that he came really early the first time Remus did it as well. What do you expect? He’s 18.
“Demonstrating,” Remus said with an evil smirk. “Is that all right?”
“Er, Lily?”
Like this would REALLY happen, but hey. The whole thing requires a bit of suspension of disbelief.
Lily’s eyes were fixed on Remus’s hand moving to the flies of Sirius’s jeans. “Yeah,” she murmured, in a daze.
And maybe I wouldn’t mind being Lily in this fic. Or Remus. Or Sirius. I’ve always wondered what it really feels like for a guy to get a blow job.
Sirius cleared his throat, and then groaned as Remus undid the zipper. “As I was saying, you might need to warm him up a little bit, but not too much. Blow jobs are great, and… and. Yeah. So anyway, might be good to tie your hair back, cause I know sometimes Moony’s gets in the way and it drives him nuts.”
Seriously though, haven’t you? Or wondered what sex feels like for a guy? Honestly, you read some of these fanfics and how anal sex feels for guys that bottom (or that top) and you wonder why any guy would want to sleep with a woman, because the sex sounds THAT GOOD. Of course, when you read het fics the sex is always amazing too, and femmeslash, but since those don’t hold the air of mystery because I can experience some of that I find it a little harder to suspend disbelief.
“Gets in my mouth,” Remus contributed.
Yes, I have long hair.
“Start with your tongue, just to get used to it, and-“
“Oh god,” Lily filled in the blank as she watched Remus begin.
“Yeah,” Sirius gasped. “Then keep your teeth covered and kind of- oh yeah, just like that. Up and down and- tongue, oh god yes, tongue is good- it’s so good.”
Sirius is so losing it. This is supposed to be the part where Remus is explaining with the bananas, and Sirius is demonstrating and making noises.
“Breathing?” Lily managed in a strangled voice, her eyes fixed on the sight in front of her.
This was where Ginny commented that it was hard to breathe. But at this point, the fic just had to take off from Accio Bananas!, because it wasn’t even close anymore.
“Yeah, I am.” Sirius was on another plane. His hands closed over Remus’s arms as his hips strained upwards. “I- oh god-“ His back arched and Lily knew he was coming. He fell back down, fingers gently tracing Remus’s arms and face, gasping for breath.
Remus swallowed and sat up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “Any other questions, Lily?”
Yes, the guys ALWAYS swallow in my fics. And I feel perfectly justified in doing that. So neayh.
Lily pulled herself together. “You two, out. And send James up here. Now.”
Sirius pulled his jeans back up and redid them. “Eager, she is.”
He recovered awfully quick. But after reading the rest of the 1001 entries, he’s got practice at it!
Remus grinned. “Prongs owes us big time.”
Yes. Yes he does. Too bad I really just kind of fizzled here. Oh well!
Well, that was the 1001 Ways thingie. Lesson for Lily, I guess. Hope you enjoyed it!
minnow_53 asked so nicely. And because I can't concentrate today at all.Well,
minnow_53 wanted a commentary for my 1001ways entry, and since it’s barely two pages long and I like doing commentaries and I can’t concentrate to save my life at work today, why not? My version was in their bedroom, with Lily… watching. Yes, it’s deliberately a parallel of Accio Bananas! And I wrote it in half an hour, so I wasn’t overly concerned about quality or whatnot.“Fine, you win,” Remus sighed, flinging himself down on his bed next to Sirius. “You have us hostage. What do you want?”
I hate Saint!Lily. I think this woman was just as mischievous and ass-kicking as her future husband was. And BOSSY. Wonder how she and Molly Weasley would have gotten along. Actually, a really, really fun fic would be the two of them butting heads when Harry was born. Molly trying to offer all this advise on what to do with a baby, and Lily about to blow up at her. Hmm….
“I want you two to answer a question for me,” Lily demanded, standing over them with her arms crossed.
Sirius and Remus looked at each other and shrugged. “All right.”
“How do you give a blow job?”
Heh. She’s DEFINITELY not as tentative as Ginny. But then, Ginny was asking her former professor and her crush’s godfather. Lily is asking the cling-ons of her boyfriend.
“What?”
“I mean it,” Lily insisted. “How do you give a blow job?”
Sirius’s mouth curled into something between a smirk and a smile. “Why do you want to know?”
He took it a lot better from Lily than from Ginny, huh?
Remus propped himself up on his elbows. “And what makes you think we know the answer?”
“Oh please,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “The rest of the school might be playing dumb, but I’m not stupid. And James said-“
“Told you Prongs had it worked out,” Sirius said smugly.
“Actually,” Lily interrupted, “Peter figured it out and told James.”
Because I do think Peter is VERY observant.
“Ha!” Remus contradicted. He waggled his eyebrows. “But that doesn’t explain why you need to know.”
Remus has already caught on to why she’s asking. He just wants to hear her say she’s going to blow his best friend. Perve.
Lily flushed red. “Why do you think?” Sirius snorted.
“Well, why ask us?” Remus asked reasonably. “Why not consult a book?”
Look, buddy. Just because YOU have a sex manual in your nightstand doesn’t mean everyone at Hogwarts does! Consult a book indeed.
“Do you really think they keep the Joy of Sex on the bookshelf in the library?” Having looked themselves, Sirius and Remus were forced to concede that point.
Does The Joy of Sex actually cover homosexual sex that Remus and Sirius would look? I mean, true, blow jobs are blow jobs no matter who’s giving them, but…. I’ve never actually read it.
“You ARE planning on using this knowledge, right?” Sirius checked.
Again, total opposite, huh?
“No, Sirius. I’m going to sell it for a sickle a telling. Get your sex advice from Gryffindor’s sex gods!”
“Well, since you call us sex gods…” Remus began.
“I suppose we can tell you,” Sirius finished.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially with these two. They should have preened.
“Oh good.”
“How much do you know?” Remus began tentatively.
Lily glared at him. “How much do you think?”
“Details…” prompted Sirius, an evil gleam in his eyes.
They’re both perverts! Who REALLY wants to hear the details about their friends’ sex lives?
Lily sighed. “Fine. We’ve done it.” They both began hooting. “You KNEW that! I know James told you, I’m not stupid!” she insisted, her face flaming red.
I love that they aren’t even coherent in their tormenting her. At least they didn’t laugh like Beavis and Butthead. “Heheh. She said “it”.
“That’s the second time you’ve said that,” Remus pointed out.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Sirius agreed.
Hey, even in canon they finish each other’s sentences!
“Shut up, you gits, and tell me how to do it. And you-“ she said, reeling on Remus, “don’t point out you can’t shut up and explain simultaneously.”
Remus closed his mouth, disappointed.
Because you KNOW that’s the first thing he’d say.
“Erm, okay,” Sirius said, sitting up. “Well, ah, the first thing you need to do is find a comfortable position.”
“Kneeling?” Lily asked.
“Nah. Kneeling is hard on the knees, and it’s really good but it’s not really easy, y’know?” Sirius lay back on the bed. “The best think is with Prongs laying on his back, like this, and you- Moony, show her- laying in between his legs. See?”
Sirius is right. I had fun writing a very different form of speech for Sirius in this one versus Remus in Accio Bananas!. Sirius is smart- yes- but I don’t think he’s so formal in his speech patterns.
“Easy on the arms, knees, and everything else,” Remus agreed.
“Okay.”
“Now, knowing Prongs, he’ll be about ready to shoot his load as soon as he hears you’re willing to do this,” Sirius continued. “But if he’s not, get him warmed up. Just kind of stroke and- Moony, what are you doing?”
Yet again, Sirius demonstrates his keen powers of intellect. And yes, it can be inferred that he came really early the first time Remus did it as well. What do you expect? He’s 18.
“Demonstrating,” Remus said with an evil smirk. “Is that all right?”
“Er, Lily?”
Like this would REALLY happen, but hey. The whole thing requires a bit of suspension of disbelief.
Lily’s eyes were fixed on Remus’s hand moving to the flies of Sirius’s jeans. “Yeah,” she murmured, in a daze.
And maybe I wouldn’t mind being Lily in this fic. Or Remus. Or Sirius. I’ve always wondered what it really feels like for a guy to get a blow job.
Sirius cleared his throat, and then groaned as Remus undid the zipper. “As I was saying, you might need to warm him up a little bit, but not too much. Blow jobs are great, and… and. Yeah. So anyway, might be good to tie your hair back, cause I know sometimes Moony’s gets in the way and it drives him nuts.”
Seriously though, haven’t you? Or wondered what sex feels like for a guy? Honestly, you read some of these fanfics and how anal sex feels for guys that bottom (or that top) and you wonder why any guy would want to sleep with a woman, because the sex sounds THAT GOOD. Of course, when you read het fics the sex is always amazing too, and femmeslash, but since those don’t hold the air of mystery because I can experience some of that I find it a little harder to suspend disbelief.
“Gets in my mouth,” Remus contributed.
Yes, I have long hair.
“Start with your tongue, just to get used to it, and-“
“Oh god,” Lily filled in the blank as she watched Remus begin.
“Yeah,” Sirius gasped. “Then keep your teeth covered and kind of- oh yeah, just like that. Up and down and- tongue, oh god yes, tongue is good- it’s so good.”
Sirius is so losing it. This is supposed to be the part where Remus is explaining with the bananas, and Sirius is demonstrating and making noises.
“Breathing?” Lily managed in a strangled voice, her eyes fixed on the sight in front of her.
This was where Ginny commented that it was hard to breathe. But at this point, the fic just had to take off from Accio Bananas!, because it wasn’t even close anymore.
“Yeah, I am.” Sirius was on another plane. His hands closed over Remus’s arms as his hips strained upwards. “I- oh god-“ His back arched and Lily knew he was coming. He fell back down, fingers gently tracing Remus’s arms and face, gasping for breath.
Remus swallowed and sat up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “Any other questions, Lily?”
Yes, the guys ALWAYS swallow in my fics. And I feel perfectly justified in doing that. So neayh.
Lily pulled herself together. “You two, out. And send James up here. Now.”
Sirius pulled his jeans back up and redid them. “Eager, she is.”
He recovered awfully quick. But after reading the rest of the 1001 entries, he’s got practice at it!
Remus grinned. “Prongs owes us big time.”
Yes. Yes he does. Too bad I really just kind of fizzled here. Oh well!
Well, that was the 1001 Ways thingie. Lesson for Lily, I guess. Hope you enjoyed it!
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xD
Date: 2005-03-29 10:19 pm (UTC)((I don't know how to make bold, italics or that stuff when commenting, so I'll just say the following sentence should be in italics))
They’re both perverts! Who REALLY wants to hear the details about their friends’ sex lives?
I do!! lol I know exactly how many blow jobs my best friend gave.
And I do wonder what a guy feels when he's getting one.
BTW, it's perfectly fine that you always make guys swallow x3