An Ode to Poopy Diapers
Jan. 25th, 2006 02:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantAsk any first-time parent-to-be what they fear the most about the menial tasks of their upcoming baby, and the answer is often the poopy diapers. Well, after less than two months, you know what I've discovered? Poopy diapers are overrated. (If you're not a parent or you have no interest in reading about this, you might want to skip this part. I got a little bit graphic. Just a tiny bit.)
10.) You really do get acclimated to it. Quickly. Sure, it's disgusting. But after a while being disgusted just gets boring. You've got to change the stupid thing anyway.
9.) Because Toby is a formula fed baby, he has this nasty tendency to save it all up for one big explosion. He feels much better after that, and is far more cheerful.
8.) It's better than them doing it in the bathwater.
7.) I know that things will change. But by then, I'll be so bored of poopy diapers I'll be looking for a little variety in the routine.
6.) It takes a matter of minutes to change the thing. It takes him a half hour to eat.
5.) It makes for some amusing stories. Or at least other parents who have been there are amused at them.
4.) Grandma still thinks he's cute, even when that's what we're doing.
3.) When he's crying because of a poopy diaper, I can figure out the cause right away.
2.) AND I CAN FIX IT!
1.) There is no guilt when a baby cries from a dirty diaper. He HAS to poop, so if he cries, that's normal. And even if he gets it all over, who cares? Strip everything down, wash everything that needs washed, and put a new diaper on him. He's probably laughing as you do it all anyway, because he feels better and he doesn't have to deal with it. But unless for some reason you were DETERMINED to use cloth diapers and now are using disposable, there's no question about "is this good for my baby?" And you probably didn't wait too long to make the change, because it's not pleasent for you to sit around with it, either. Guilt is the worst part about parenting. Seriously.
But seriously, I've figured out exactly what babies are. They are one giant mass-balance equation, and I as his mother must solve it.
Yes. I need to get out more.
10.) You really do get acclimated to it. Quickly. Sure, it's disgusting. But after a while being disgusted just gets boring. You've got to change the stupid thing anyway.
9.) Because Toby is a formula fed baby, he has this nasty tendency to save it all up for one big explosion. He feels much better after that, and is far more cheerful.
8.) It's better than them doing it in the bathwater.
7.) I know that things will change. But by then, I'll be so bored of poopy diapers I'll be looking for a little variety in the routine.
6.) It takes a matter of minutes to change the thing. It takes him a half hour to eat.
5.) It makes for some amusing stories. Or at least other parents who have been there are amused at them.
4.) Grandma still thinks he's cute, even when that's what we're doing.
3.) When he's crying because of a poopy diaper, I can figure out the cause right away.
2.) AND I CAN FIX IT!
1.) There is no guilt when a baby cries from a dirty diaper. He HAS to poop, so if he cries, that's normal. And even if he gets it all over, who cares? Strip everything down, wash everything that needs washed, and put a new diaper on him. He's probably laughing as you do it all anyway, because he feels better and he doesn't have to deal with it. But unless for some reason you were DETERMINED to use cloth diapers and now are using disposable, there's no question about "is this good for my baby?" And you probably didn't wait too long to make the change, because it's not pleasent for you to sit around with it, either. Guilt is the worst part about parenting. Seriously.
But seriously, I've figured out exactly what babies are. They are one giant mass-balance equation, and I as his mother must solve it.
Yes. I need to get out more.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-25 07:52 pm (UTC)That's the real bitch and teething.
:D
no subject
Date: 2006-01-25 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-25 07:53 pm (UTC)OMGYes it is! My oldest used to do that all the damned time. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-25 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-25 09:09 pm (UTC)However, ...
They are one giant mass-balance equation, and I as his mother must solve it.
This assumes that there is actually a solution but I have yet to find one, tricksy buggers. Especially when what comes out is far more than what went in.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-26 02:32 am (UTC)And I know my mom probably found that way boring compared to sleeping on the floor outside my door to make sure I didn't stop breathing.
You moms deserve a lot more than you get.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-26 05:34 am (UTC)8.) It's better than them doing it in the bathwater.
My son was ever too fond of doing that. Every. Bloody. Bath. :-/