Because Masochism is Fun

[lls_mutant]

Gakked from ignipes: Use fanfiction.net's Search Story By Summary and look up your name in either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. If there are any Mary Sues that share your name, pick the worst-sounding ones and post the summary (or in this case, choice excerpts)

I don't have quite as Mary-Sue-ish a name as some people do, but Lissa seems like it would be a good Mary Sue name. (I was surprised.) A few snippets from some of the lovely fics featuring my name are

Using Lissa

Lissa slowly got up, and towered over all her friends. She was around 5’11” maybe even 6’, black hair (currently in a afro), brown eyed (that could change color with her mood), and very pretty. She was the person of the bunch who could see things, in other words had visions. She was of Spanish descent, and was fluent in Spanish. This helped her when she cussed her friends, and especially her nemesis, Draco, out. Her extremely large foot missed Erin’s knees by about an inch, when she heard Erin hurrying her along.

Heee. I find this especially funny since I'm 5'4", blonde hair (thanks to hair dye), blue eyes, and cute. And definitely don't see visions, but I used to be fluent in Chinese. Actually, this one could be worse.

Using Melissa

Melissa turned around, her brown hair flying into the air, then landing gracefully on her shoulders. Her cheeks were flushed from running all the way to class, Snape's black eyes meat a magnificent blue. Her low rider blue jeans, and white shirt showed threw her robes.

Oooh. Transparent robes! Here I get to be Sirius Black's 16-year old daughter (not fun, since then I can't hook up with him or Remus) and friends with Harry and Ron. Hermione's there, I think, but not very active. Surprised?

The day I was born, January 26th 1988, was an interesting occasion so I have been told. As usual, it consisted of pain, shouting, crying, bickering and the ‘silent treatment’, which is all part of an average day in my life with my parents. My six parents. Yes, you read right, six parents, all men, all biological and all…well…odd…

All biological, yes. I am still yet to fully discover how that is possible, but I have been assured that it is as long as magic and fully trained medi-wizards and witches are involved after the original conception of the child. Mind you, I don’t actually care that much, I mean, I’m here. Obviously whatever they did to create me worked, so why learn the ins and outs of it?

...

Regulus smiled, he was tired and sore, but he enjoyed listening to the voices around him, "She is going to need a name first, boys."

One problem with having so many parents is that decisions are never made quickly. It took them three weeks to agree on a name for me, not to mention the middle names and who’s surname I would take. Finally though, they agreed on:

Melissa Amelia Andromeda Katherine Malfoy.

My fathers? Sirius, James, Remus, Lucius, Severus, and Regulus. It's a sixsome. Need I say ANY more?


Heh. I could keep going for a while, but I shouldn't. Amazingly, there were no results using Lyssa. This gives me some hope, which I needed after the sixsome story.

Comments

[kabeyk.livejournal.com]

Sixsome? Christ, choose an OTP and stick with it! Having said that, those are some difficult men to choose between.

Heh, that cheered me up no end.

kxx

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Not only a sixsome, but a sixsome that resulted in MPreg. I'm not sure HOW that's supposed to work :)

Thought people might enjoy this! It is kind of entertaining.

[kabeyk.livejournal.com]

Parts of the fic might be good, like how the child was concieved... Does it say whose imaginary womb carried the thing? Bet it was Remus.

kxx

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think it was Regulus. Don't die of the shock! :)

[kabeyk.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's just mean; I always think of Regulus as small and skinny, and he wouldn't have the childbearing hips in my mind.

Heh, like that's his biggest problem.

kxx

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

And Remus would have much better luck? Actually, I'd guess Lucius would have the easiest time with it, but maybe that's just because I don't like Lucius. Heh.

[(Anonymous)]

Heh, I've just done this with my real name (Corinne), there were only two matches - and both of them had me hooked up with Lucius (on whom I have a bit of a shameful crush!) Life can be good sometimes! On the downside, though, they are both Billy Joel Songfics, so life can be incomprehensible some times, too!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

LOL! I wrote a songfic once, so I suppose I'm not allowed to mock it TOO badly. But scary anyway. Was it the same author? Or two seperate authors set "you" up with Lucius?

[(Anonymous)]

No, it was two different authors! And i don't really mind songfics if they're fics-based-on-songs/inspired-by-lyrics; but these two basically had the whole lyrics to the songs and a bit of fic in between! Mildly disappointing, as I was a bit excited by the summaries...
Ruby

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Heh. Try on "Ruby". I'll bet you get more results that way! ;)

[poisontaster]

Heh; I ganked this from ignipes too. It was AWFUL. In a giggly, OMG, what are they doing with my NAME? sort of way. I do find it ironic that yours combines your name with mine (Erin). Merciful saints. *rolls eyes*

OMG! We can be Mary Sue BFF! ROFL.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

There's just something about it, isn't there? I've always heard ff.net was a haven for bad fic, and wow.

I was very careful to skip some of them though. Like, the ones that honestly looked like they were written by 9-year olds, because they have an excuse.

But 9 year olds don't come up with sixsomes ;)

And LOL! But I can't cuss you out in Spanish!

[poisontaster]

You should go to my page and check out the excerpts from MY namesakes. I could cry. From laughter, but crying, nonetheless. *g*

And don't underestimate the perviness of 9yos; I wrote my first threesome when I was around that age. Maybe (s)he's twice as developed! LOL.

[caranille.livejournal.com]

I got mixed results with this. I tried my screen name (using Cara because it seemed most likely to get hits) and got some pretty good ones. My real name didn't have ANY hits, either in HP or LOTR. On the bright side, when I expanded the search, I stumbled upon the hitherto unexplored world of Miss Congeniality fanfiction. So....thank you for posting this challenge. I think.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Miss Congeniality fanfic? Wow.

I was actually surprised- I thought Lissa would get much better results than Melissa, but nope.

[ignipes.livejournal.com]

Melissa Amelia Andromeda Katherine Malfoy

Well, now you know what you could have named your child, had he been a girl instead of a boy. :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Amelia Andromeda -. It has a ring to it, doesn't it? (I hate the name Melissa, probably because it's mine, and Katherine is conveniently a family name and therefore vetoed.) Heh. Next time hubby pulls out "Cassius Atticus Sparticus" (His initials would be CASH!), I'll have to threaten that. Except he knows I can't follow through....

[maglors-finch.livejournal.com]

Can't beat your sixsome (I'm still trying to figure out the genetics), but what about these:

Recently, Harry had met Tom Riddle’s granddaughter, Renee Black. She had been found to be the only possible downfall of Lord Voldemort, but she had not tried to murder him yet. The girl had black hair and eyes. No comment.

Got several ones about American transfer students: Renee O'Connor, who gets to see Gilderoy Lockhart, and Renee De Leon, who is being stalked by building accessories:

The Transfiguration teacher eyed Renee as she made her way to the head of the class. As she finally made it to the teacher's desk, stairs and comments followed her.

Renee Mc Kenzee (probably a self insert; the author calls herself Renee Potter) becomes Renee Riddle through marriage. Their daughter is Renee Riddle the Second: My mother’s first name was Renee and when she married my bilogical father her name was changed to Riddle.

In case you wonder what bilogic is, I guess it's something like this:
Remember in the last story how Malfoy was the one who showed up and put the Cructacius Curse on Renee Riddle? Not the Renee in this story but the other Renee? Well let’s say that it wasn’t Malfoy and it was Ron Weasley.

And then there are the Renee chronicles, at least four! novel-length fics about Harry, Renee and a character called Timothy.

Apparently, I have a very Sueish name...Thanks for posting this; I enjoyed myself tremendously!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

::snerk:: The bilogic is pretty classic. As is the explaining why a woman changes her name when she gets married.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Alas, no fics turned up using my first name (sniff). Across *any* category. (Got 8 hits in Harry Potter with my middle name. I guess Margaret just isn't that popular. Heh.)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I guess it needs to have an "a" on the end or sound exotic? :)

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

But it does on both counts! Doesn't Terrina scream "Mary Sue"? (Margaret's the middle name) Oh well, just means I can enjoy my uniqueness... :-)

[wickedevra.livejournal.com]

Yay! You also have the funky mood-eyes! How did Lucius convince the other five to name you Malfoy??? Surely Melissa Black-Black-Lupin-Malfoy-Potter-Snape (alph. order) is more democratic?

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

ROTLFMAO! Or given that it sounds like Regulus had to carry the kid, Black in general. I guess Malfoy because he's undeniably rich?

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. You have mood eyes! Now try to make *those* match your clothing.

And a sixome? is such a thing possible?

It's a good thing we're not responsible for the things people do with our names.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Well, considering today I'm wearing plain old brown.... :) (A Mary Sue with brown eyes? never!)

I guess a sixsome is possible. Daisy chain type thing? I don't really know. It kind of scares me- especially with the people involved. Eek.

And yeah. Although I do confess to creating an author insert named Lyssa once, when I started in fanfic. She wasn't too bad, all things considered, but I laugh about it now....