Random Thoughts and Stuff
Jan. 6th, 2006 08:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lls_mutantOkay, so I'm posting for two reasons: one is to "talk" to adults and not refer to myself in the third person as "Mommy", and the other is simply because I wanted to use my new icon, because the Swedish chef rocks.
Put under a cut to save f-lists everywhere. Anyway, not having a good morning. Toby's fine, but I'm still adjusting. Howard went back to work yesterday, and that was the first time I've been alone with the baby all day since I had him. The day was actually fine- it was the night that got me.
Toby isn't sleeping as much at night as he used to. He's still pretty good, but last night was a snack night. Let's have an ounce then go back to sleep. What's frustrating is it means he gets up again in another hour or two and wants another ounce. I tried to get him to take more, but he flat-out refused. He's not normally a snacker- yesterday during the day we had nice big feedings and 2.5-3 hours between meals. But every now and then he gets into snack mode, where not only does he take less than two ounces, but he takes a full hour to eat it. Which means my day (or night) amounts to "feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, repeat."
Last night I just got really frustrated with him. It's the first time since he's been born that I've been that truly frustrated to the point of near anger, and man, I felt guilty. I mean, he's a month old- it's not like he can control it. But since Howard's back at work, I'm the one getting up with him, and it's just exhausting. On top of that, I'm down to two pumps a day so my breasts were hurting, my Motrin was wearing off and I'd had a full day so my incision was hurting, I'd made meatloaf that had ketchup in it with dry hands, so my hands were hurting, and I have a crack in my foot, so THAT was hurting. I got him back to bed until 4:15, when he wanted food again. Then an hour later he needed a burp. Then an hour after THAT he wanted food. And right now I'm trying to stretch him to two hours between his feedings today.
On the bright side, he seems to be taking to the formula pretty well. He's certainly bright and alert, and yesterday he ate well. Hopefully he'll continue to take to it well, because he sure doesn't want to nurse, and pumping is a pain because I'm pretty much chained there. I've also decided that while I found What to Expect When You're Expecting helpful for my pregnancy, What to Expect the First Year is far less helpful to me. For one, it makes you feel like shit if you can't breastfeed, and it really doesn't answer many questions about bottle feeding. (It also says NOTHING about switching from breast milk bottles to formula bottles. ::Sigh::) And it also makes me feel very guilty for not rushing to Toby's side the minute I hear him whimper- or even cry. Look, sorry, but if I know he's hungry, I'm going to go to the bathroom before I feed him, okay? He'll live, and I doubt his self-esteem will be permenantly damaged because I made him wait a few minutes so I could pee.
Okay. It's 8:15. I can feed him.
Oi. We're still snacking. But now he's asleep (for a few minutes, anyway). If he lasts 20 minutes asleep, I'm taking a nap.
I actually wrote yesterday. Two pages of Accidentally In Love, and a review for Serenity. The review isn't that great- it boils down to "I liked it and now I need to watch Firefly", but it's a review. I was happy with what I wrote for AIL, and now I'm in a scene I've been dying to write since I figured out where this chapter is going.
I've also gotten to start reading A Game of Thrones. It seems like it's sort of a soap opera set in a fantasy setting. I suspect I'm really going to enjoy this!
Valentine's Day is fast approaching as well, which I need to think about since I really need to do my shopping online again. I hate V-day. For one, I hate the pressure to be all romantic just because it's one day. Two, I hate the fact it's only two months after Christmas. Why can't it be in July? Three, I hate the way it makes anyone who's single feel like shit. Why do we need a day to celebrate romantic love? I mean, I celebrate my love for my husband on our anniversary- a date that actually MEANS something to us. Three and a half, my husband's version of romantic gestures stretches into the practical, not the frivolous. His version of romance is bringing my car back with a full tank or shoveling the driveway or cleaning the toilets because he knows how much I despise doing that. I'd rather have his version. And four, what's with jewelry?
If you asked me what I wanted for V-Day, I'd be sure to reply that jewelry wouldn't go amiss and would be very romantic. Of course, I think my husband is more likely to get me Firefly on DVD. But you know, although I like jewelry, I don't wear it much. And when I do, it tends to be the nice costume variety. Heck, I don't even wear my engagement and wedding rings right now. (Partly because I still need to lose weight and partly because poopy diapers and diamonds don't go together too well.) So why the heck to I want jewelry? It baffles me.
So do flowers. Sure, I'd love a bouquet of roses. But they're expensive and only last a few days. (Okay, so I really wouldn't mind if he'd stop at the supermarket every now and get roses there, where they're like $10 a dozen instead of $60 a dozen.) Chocolates? Again, they don't last and I really don't need the calories anyway. In fact, the only Society Sanctioned Romantic Gesture I really appreciate is a nice dinner out, and that's largely for the company anyway. Plus, getting reservations can be impossible. Like I said, there's different kinds of romance, and the kind that V-Day pressures you to bring out isn't at all our style. (Except for the dinner. We probably will go out to dinner around V-Day.)
Anyway, there's my rant for the morning. Let's go see if the snacker is awake and if he is, let's give him a bath, shall we?
Put under a cut to save f-lists everywhere. Anyway, not having a good morning. Toby's fine, but I'm still adjusting. Howard went back to work yesterday, and that was the first time I've been alone with the baby all day since I had him. The day was actually fine- it was the night that got me.
Toby isn't sleeping as much at night as he used to. He's still pretty good, but last night was a snack night. Let's have an ounce then go back to sleep. What's frustrating is it means he gets up again in another hour or two and wants another ounce. I tried to get him to take more, but he flat-out refused. He's not normally a snacker- yesterday during the day we had nice big feedings and 2.5-3 hours between meals. But every now and then he gets into snack mode, where not only does he take less than two ounces, but he takes a full hour to eat it. Which means my day (or night) amounts to "feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, repeat."
Last night I just got really frustrated with him. It's the first time since he's been born that I've been that truly frustrated to the point of near anger, and man, I felt guilty. I mean, he's a month old- it's not like he can control it. But since Howard's back at work, I'm the one getting up with him, and it's just exhausting. On top of that, I'm down to two pumps a day so my breasts were hurting, my Motrin was wearing off and I'd had a full day so my incision was hurting, I'd made meatloaf that had ketchup in it with dry hands, so my hands were hurting, and I have a crack in my foot, so THAT was hurting. I got him back to bed until 4:15, when he wanted food again. Then an hour later he needed a burp. Then an hour after THAT he wanted food. And right now I'm trying to stretch him to two hours between his feedings today.
On the bright side, he seems to be taking to the formula pretty well. He's certainly bright and alert, and yesterday he ate well. Hopefully he'll continue to take to it well, because he sure doesn't want to nurse, and pumping is a pain because I'm pretty much chained there. I've also decided that while I found What to Expect When You're Expecting helpful for my pregnancy, What to Expect the First Year is far less helpful to me. For one, it makes you feel like shit if you can't breastfeed, and it really doesn't answer many questions about bottle feeding. (It also says NOTHING about switching from breast milk bottles to formula bottles. ::Sigh::) And it also makes me feel very guilty for not rushing to Toby's side the minute I hear him whimper- or even cry. Look, sorry, but if I know he's hungry, I'm going to go to the bathroom before I feed him, okay? He'll live, and I doubt his self-esteem will be permenantly damaged because I made him wait a few minutes so I could pee.
Okay. It's 8:15. I can feed him.
Oi. We're still snacking. But now he's asleep (for a few minutes, anyway). If he lasts 20 minutes asleep, I'm taking a nap.
I actually wrote yesterday. Two pages of Accidentally In Love, and a review for Serenity. The review isn't that great- it boils down to "I liked it and now I need to watch Firefly", but it's a review. I was happy with what I wrote for AIL, and now I'm in a scene I've been dying to write since I figured out where this chapter is going.
I've also gotten to start reading A Game of Thrones. It seems like it's sort of a soap opera set in a fantasy setting. I suspect I'm really going to enjoy this!
Valentine's Day is fast approaching as well, which I need to think about since I really need to do my shopping online again. I hate V-day. For one, I hate the pressure to be all romantic just because it's one day. Two, I hate the fact it's only two months after Christmas. Why can't it be in July? Three, I hate the way it makes anyone who's single feel like shit. Why do we need a day to celebrate romantic love? I mean, I celebrate my love for my husband on our anniversary- a date that actually MEANS something to us. Three and a half, my husband's version of romantic gestures stretches into the practical, not the frivolous. His version of romance is bringing my car back with a full tank or shoveling the driveway or cleaning the toilets because he knows how much I despise doing that. I'd rather have his version. And four, what's with jewelry?
If you asked me what I wanted for V-Day, I'd be sure to reply that jewelry wouldn't go amiss and would be very romantic. Of course, I think my husband is more likely to get me Firefly on DVD. But you know, although I like jewelry, I don't wear it much. And when I do, it tends to be the nice costume variety. Heck, I don't even wear my engagement and wedding rings right now. (Partly because I still need to lose weight and partly because poopy diapers and diamonds don't go together too well.) So why the heck to I want jewelry? It baffles me.
So do flowers. Sure, I'd love a bouquet of roses. But they're expensive and only last a few days. (Okay, so I really wouldn't mind if he'd stop at the supermarket every now and get roses there, where they're like $10 a dozen instead of $60 a dozen.) Chocolates? Again, they don't last and I really don't need the calories anyway. In fact, the only Society Sanctioned Romantic Gesture I really appreciate is a nice dinner out, and that's largely for the company anyway. Plus, getting reservations can be impossible. Like I said, there's different kinds of romance, and the kind that V-Day pressures you to bring out isn't at all our style. (Except for the dinner. We probably will go out to dinner around V-Day.)
Anyway, there's my rant for the morning. Let's go see if the snacker is awake and if he is, let's give him a bath, shall we?
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Date: 2006-01-06 04:02 pm (UTC)Toby's napping, so I'm debating whether to write or read. (I know I should nap, but that's the surest way to wake him up, just via Murphy's law.) And yeah, What to Expect the First Year has its good points, but I'd ask a pediatrician what book they'd recommend. (You say you'll be needing it one of these days?) But yeah, there's thinkgs about it I just don't like. If you opt to bottlefeed (which wasn't my plan, but Toby had other ideas), it really isn't very helpful and addresses any bottlefeeding issues very half-heartedly, constantly reminding you how breastmilk is better for the baby. And it goes on about how you need to take time for yourself, but also about how moms have such full days they don't have time for bathroom breaks or that you need to pick up your baby when he starts crying so he knows you'll always answer and whatever. I'm sorry, but I will MAKE time for bathroom breaks, if need be, and sometimes it's just not possible to get there when he starts fussing. Actually, sometimes it's not desirable either. I find that Toby feeds better when he's fully awake, so if I start feeding him before he wakes up fully at night, he gets into that snack mode.
What To Expect when You're Expecting actually isn't a great book either, from what I understand. Doctors consider it very alarmist. I didn't think so, but I had a VERY easy pregnancy, and except for my car accident, had no reason to ever even be alarmed. But I guess that a lot of women who might experience other pain (like gas or something) that get worried and consult the book think that they've got some massive problem with the pregnancy because the book doesn't give enough details. Again, should you need a book like that, it's probably best to ask your doctor which one they'd recommend. (Actually, I found my best source of advice in both to be my mother.)
BTW- finally realized I didn't have you friended and remedied the situation. :)
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Date: 2006-01-06 05:19 pm (UTC)(Actually, I found my best source of advice in both to be my mother.)
Yeah, moms are the best. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-06 06:39 pm (UTC)Actually, they say that you follow the pattern of your mother, in general. So you might get lucky and also have incredibly easy pregnancies and births. I figured I'd let the doctor tell me if anything was wrong. Most of the defects and problems and complications are so rare that they aren't worth worrying too much about! (Except gestational diabetes, if it runs in your family.) I definitely followed my mother. VERY easy pregnancy, and I think I would have had a relatively easy labor. (It would have been a hard birth either way because of the circumfrence of Toby's head, but the labor was probably quite easy.) I'll keep my fingers crossed for you on that score when you're ready!