Random Thoughts and Stuff

[lls_mutant]

Okay, so I'm posting for two reasons: one is to "talk" to adults and not refer to myself in the third person as "Mommy", and the other is simply because I wanted to use my new icon, because the Swedish chef rocks.



Put under a cut to save f-lists everywhere. Anyway, not having a good morning. Toby's fine, but I'm still adjusting. Howard went back to work yesterday, and that was the first time I've been alone with the baby all day since I had him. The day was actually fine- it was the night that got me.

Toby isn't sleeping as much at night as he used to. He's still pretty good, but last night was a snack night. Let's have an ounce then go back to sleep. What's frustrating is it means he gets up again in another hour or two and wants another ounce. I tried to get him to take more, but he flat-out refused. He's not normally a snacker- yesterday during the day we had nice big feedings and 2.5-3 hours between meals. But every now and then he gets into snack mode, where not only does he take less than two ounces, but he takes a full hour to eat it. Which means my day (or night) amounts to "feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, repeat."

Last night I just got really frustrated with him. It's the first time since he's been born that I've been that truly frustrated to the point of near anger, and man, I felt guilty. I mean, he's a month old- it's not like he can control it. But since Howard's back at work, I'm the one getting up with him, and it's just exhausting. On top of that, I'm down to two pumps a day so my breasts were hurting, my Motrin was wearing off and I'd had a full day so my incision was hurting, I'd made meatloaf that had ketchup in it with dry hands, so my hands were hurting, and I have a crack in my foot, so THAT was hurting. I got him back to bed until 4:15, when he wanted food again. Then an hour later he needed a burp. Then an hour after THAT he wanted food. And right now I'm trying to stretch him to two hours between his feedings today.

On the bright side, he seems to be taking to the formula pretty well. He's certainly bright and alert, and yesterday he ate well. Hopefully he'll continue to take to it well, because he sure doesn't want to nurse, and pumping is a pain because I'm pretty much chained there. I've also decided that while I found What to Expect When You're Expecting helpful for my pregnancy, What to Expect the First Year is far less helpful to me. For one, it makes you feel like shit if you can't breastfeed, and it really doesn't answer many questions about bottle feeding. (It also says NOTHING about switching from breast milk bottles to formula bottles. ::Sigh::) And it also makes me feel very guilty for not rushing to Toby's side the minute I hear him whimper- or even cry. Look, sorry, but if I know he's hungry, I'm going to go to the bathroom before I feed him, okay? He'll live, and I doubt his self-esteem will be permenantly damaged because I made him wait a few minutes so I could pee.

Okay. It's 8:15. I can feed him.

Oi. We're still snacking. But now he's asleep (for a few minutes, anyway). If he lasts 20 minutes asleep, I'm taking a nap.



I actually wrote yesterday. Two pages of Accidentally In Love, and a review for Serenity. The review isn't that great- it boils down to "I liked it and now I need to watch Firefly", but it's a review. I was happy with what I wrote for AIL, and now I'm in a scene I've been dying to write since I figured out where this chapter is going.

I've also gotten to start reading A Game of Thrones. It seems like it's sort of a soap opera set in a fantasy setting. I suspect I'm really going to enjoy this!

Valentine's Day is fast approaching as well, which I need to think about since I really need to do my shopping online again. I hate V-day. For one, I hate the pressure to be all romantic just because it's one day. Two, I hate the fact it's only two months after Christmas. Why can't it be in July? Three, I hate the way it makes anyone who's single feel like shit. Why do we need a day to celebrate romantic love? I mean, I celebrate my love for my husband on our anniversary- a date that actually MEANS something to us. Three and a half, my husband's version of romantic gestures stretches into the practical, not the frivolous. His version of romance is bringing my car back with a full tank or shoveling the driveway or cleaning the toilets because he knows how much I despise doing that. I'd rather have his version. And four, what's with jewelry?

If you asked me what I wanted for V-Day, I'd be sure to reply that jewelry wouldn't go amiss and would be very romantic. Of course, I think my husband is more likely to get me Firefly on DVD. But you know, although I like jewelry, I don't wear it much. And when I do, it tends to be the nice costume variety. Heck, I don't even wear my engagement and wedding rings right now. (Partly because I still need to lose weight and partly because poopy diapers and diamonds don't go together too well.) So why the heck to I want jewelry? It baffles me.

So do flowers. Sure, I'd love a bouquet of roses. But they're expensive and only last a few days. (Okay, so I really wouldn't mind if he'd stop at the supermarket every now and get roses there, where they're like $10 a dozen instead of $60 a dozen.) Chocolates? Again, they don't last and I really don't need the calories anyway. In fact, the only Society Sanctioned Romantic Gesture I really appreciate is a nice dinner out, and that's largely for the company anyway. Plus, getting reservations can be impossible. Like I said, there's different kinds of romance, and the kind that V-Day pressures you to bring out isn't at all our style. (Except for the dinner. We probably will go out to dinner around V-Day.)

Anyway, there's my rant for the morning. Let's go see if the snacker is awake and if he is, let's give him a bath, shall we?

Comments

[misscake]

Oh, my heart goes out to you. I can completely relate to what you are going through.

One reason for his frequent meals is that they hit a growth spurt about this age and need to eat more frequently. The instinct is to make it as easy as possible to get them to go back to sleep but try to keep him awake when he's eating by taking off his blanket or loosening his sleeper so he's not all warm and snuggly.

DO NOT feel bad about getting frustrated. Being a mommy is like the Marines: it's the toughest job you'll ever love. But that doesn't mean you love it 24/7. When you are tired and hurting and feeling clueless, the frustration is normal.

I didn't find the books that helpful either when I weaned my son. My pediatrician recommended doing it an ounce at a time. He was 4 months old at the time and drinking 8 ounces at each feeding so the first day I did 7 ounces (pumped) breast milk and 1 ounce formula. The next day 6 ounces breast milk, 2 ounces formula. And so forth until he was taking 8 ounces of formula. Took about a week to do but it went very smoothly.

Hang in there. It will get better. You will sleep again.

Also, big squee that you wrote some more of AIL!

[ignipes.livejournal.com]

It seems like it's sort of a soap opera set in a fantasy setting.

A soap opera in which the characters are always killing each other! *cackles*

*hugs* for you and Toby. You should NOT feel guilty about being frustrated. I'm don't even have kids and I know that's perfectly normal, just part of being a new mommy, and anybody who says they were never frustrated or angry or just plain annoyed by their children is lying through their teeth. *g*

It's funny, but I don't really *get* Valentine's Day. I mean, I'm single, but it doesn't bother me or anything. It just seems like a big waste of time and money. $60 for roses? You've got to be kidding me! I thought they cost, like, $15. At most. (Just proves how out of touch I am with the whole romance industry...)

[sasha-davidovna.livejournal.com]

I hear you about Valentine's Day. My mom worked as a florist before I was born and has been firmly convinced for my entire life that Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, etc. are holidays concocted solely to provide an excuse for florists, chocolatiers, and card makers to make more money. She doesn't put much store in them and has passed that attitude on to us in spades.

I'm sorry you had a rough night with Toby, but agree that feeling frustrated is entirely natural. I hope you manage to take some time for yourself today. Thanks for the heads up on What to Expect the First Year, too. (I'll be needing something of the sort one of these days.) It's ridiculous to be made to feel guilty for not rushing to his side at every whimper, especially if you know what the problem is, and even more so for something that is not your fault.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. It's good just to hear a voice that's been there say something, y'know? Especially one that's not my mom (who is full of good advice, but it's nice to get other people's thoughts as well. Especially people who've done it more recently!)

We've had really good luck with the weaning overall. We called our pediatrician as well, and we're doing about the same thing you are. We did 50/50 for a few days, then 75/25, and now we're introducing bottles of 100% formula. It seems to be going very smoothly.

And I'll sleep tonight, darn it! Hubby doesn't have to work tomorrow.... >:)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

A soap opera in which the characters are always killing each other! *cackles*

Even better. Toby's napping at the moment, and I'm debating between reading or writing. (I should sleep, I know, but that's the surest way to wake him up- lie down to sleep! Maybe if I let him nap now, he'll be really tired at 8 and go down for the full night.)

Thanks so much for the encouragement. It's one of those things I know is normal as well, it's just odd to feel it. And then this morning he was doing his "look at how CUTE I am!" routine, making faces at me and being a snuggler. Little snot knows I was frustrated and wanted to get back in my good graces, I think :) (It so worked.)

And yeah, at a good florist, nice roses are REALLY expensive. It's ridiculous. If we're going to spend that kind of money, I'd rather we went out to our favorite restaraunt.

The best V-Day I actually had was with a guy who I never dated. We were the only two single people in our little group, so we had a Chinese Jack night. We put on sweats, got take out Chinese and a bottle of Jack Daniels and watched Jackie Chan flicks all night. Of course, the hangover the next morning wasn't that fun, but the rest of the night was!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

I agree with your mom, I think. It's just scary.

Toby's napping, so I'm debating whether to write or read. (I know I should nap, but that's the surest way to wake him up, just via Murphy's law.) And yeah, What to Expect the First Year has its good points, but I'd ask a pediatrician what book they'd recommend. (You say you'll be needing it one of these days?) But yeah, there's thinkgs about it I just don't like. If you opt to bottlefeed (which wasn't my plan, but Toby had other ideas), it really isn't very helpful and addresses any bottlefeeding issues very half-heartedly, constantly reminding you how breastmilk is better for the baby. And it goes on about how you need to take time for yourself, but also about how moms have such full days they don't have time for bathroom breaks or that you need to pick up your baby when he starts crying so he knows you'll always answer and whatever. I'm sorry, but I will MAKE time for bathroom breaks, if need be, and sometimes it's just not possible to get there when he starts fussing. Actually, sometimes it's not desirable either. I find that Toby feeds better when he's fully awake, so if I start feeding him before he wakes up fully at night, he gets into that snack mode.

What To Expect when You're Expecting actually isn't a great book either, from what I understand. Doctors consider it very alarmist. I didn't think so, but I had a VERY easy pregnancy, and except for my car accident, had no reason to ever even be alarmed. But I guess that a lot of women who might experience other pain (like gas or something) that get worried and consult the book think that they've got some massive problem with the pregnancy because the book doesn't give enough details. Again, should you need a book like that, it's probably best to ask your doctor which one they'd recommend. (Actually, I found my best source of advice in both to be my mother.)

BTW- finally realized I didn't have you friended and remedied the situation. :)

[medicinal-mirth.livejournal.com]

All the baby stuff? The frustration, the guilt, the tiredness -- you're doing fine, really. In other words, all us moms have been exactly where you are, feeling exactly the same things. It will get easier, honestly. Unfortunately, it just takes time, and as you said, it's not something you have a lot of control over, and neither does Toby. Until he's a bit older, you can't really start to schedule him much. It's so hard, but you'll get through it. If it makes you feel any better, I still nurse Danny (he's 2 1/2) and we have night time issues because of it. But thanks to the ever present mommy-guilt, I have a hard time refusing him. Yeah, there is always something when you've got kids. But it does get easier, or at least you get used to a certain amount of frustration. *grins* On second thought, that probably doesn't make you feel much better, does it?

I'm glad Toby's adjusting to the formula well, that is a blessing, believe me. And I know what you're saying regarding the baby books. I found the internet more helpful, though of course you have to do a lot of searching.

Yay! for getting some writing done! And reading! And yes, the Swedish Chef indeed rocks. He was always one of my favorites.

[rinelk.livejournal.com]

Okay, this may sound really goofy, but I'm actually excited to be reading about even the frustrations of having a baby. I'm not saying you should always be keeping an eye on how fantastic it is to have one; your reactions sound entirely reasonable and no threat to the baby's mental health. But at least it may be comforting to remind yourself that this is a pretty awesome set of frustrations to have. Any thoughts on what dads should know? I'm in kind of a weird position, being married to a pediatric and adult internal medicine resident, so I kind of expect she knows a lot more than most people, and has good ideas on how to find more. I really don't have much recent experience with kids younger than 12, though. I'm sure she'll be willing to tell me what I need to know, but it might be nice to lift some of that burden from her.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Heh. It's funny, because in one of your responses to me, you said "there's always something to feel guilty about" and I was remembering that last night. And it actually helped, because it's a reminder that no matter WHAT I do, I will find something to feel guilty about. I guess that's one of the burdens of parenthood- accepting guilt as a permenant emotional state! :)

But thank you so much for the handholding- it's a huge help!

[sasha-davidovna.livejournal.com]

We've been discussing it a lot more lately and I think it's just a matter of time. A little dose of alarmism might actually do me good. My mom had incredibly easy pregnancies and births and it probably wouldn't hurt to know more about the other side of it, although not to the point of worrying constantly about everything!

(Actually, I found my best source of advice in both to be my mother.)

Yeah, moms are the best. :)

[topaz7.livejournal.com]

Oh, you poor thing! Nessa's right, the guilt never ends,unfortunately - but most of it is unwarranted. Like going to the bathroom before you pick up crying baby - it's perfectly all right! He'll be happier to have a mom who isn't squirming in her seat! lol.

Also, the growth spurt is usually around that time, isn't it - so that would explain why Toby keeps snacking. It's all good. He'll be growing a bunch, then he'll start sleeping more.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Hey Kelse :) Welcome to my little corner of the internet! And thanks- right now just hearing from a friend is a big help.

Any thoughts on what dads should know?

Lots :) Lots of thoughts, actually, not lots of things that dads should know.

The first big one is don't be scared about being Dad, or feel like you should stand back. One of the best things has been watching Howard bond with Toby as much as I have. (However, if you bond with the baby easier than your wife does, which IS possible depending on personalities and what kind of delivery she has, be prepared for her to feel a little jealous even as she's happy about it.) But no matter what, step up to the plate. There is only one task that women are better suited than men for, and that's breastfeeding. Everything else both mom and dad can do just as well. Change diapers, give baths, snuggle, snot-suck, trim nails... make sure you know how to do it all.

I expect this will be a big one for you, but don't be afraid to have different styles. I'm not just talking about how you relate to the baby, but EVERYTHING, from feeding to holding to picking the baby up. There's no one right way to do anything, and as long as you aren't doing something that's unhealthy for the baby, you're doing it right. But given that your wife (btw- can I refer to her by name, or does she prefer internet anonominity?) IS a doctor, I wouldn't be surprised if you felt unconscious pressure from yourself to do it her way, because she must know best. Pediatricians know about babies, that's definitely true. But they don't know everything about THIS baby that's here in front of them, and she'll be learning as much as you are. It might feel like she's way ahead of you on the learning curve, but when it comes to this baby, she may not be. She might know more about how a child's body works, but in time you'll both be experts on this particular baby. In fact, depending on how you work out childcare, you might even know more about your baby's cues and cries than she does.

That leads to thought #3: because she IS a doctor, and a very intelligent woman as well, be ready to be a huge support to her those times when she's clueless. Because she will be. One thing that sticks with me is when I was trying to nurse Toby, one of the maternity nurses told me she had a really hard time nursing which surprised her, just because of her occupation. She might get frustrated with this- especially when she's working off minimal sleep. Be there and be utterly supportive. Tell her she's doing a great job. She probably will be, but I know I so often feel like I'm not.

It took me a lot longer to bond with Toby than it took Howard. I think a huge part of that was because of the C-section: I couldn't hold him for long right away, and in the days immediately after I was tired and sore and couldn't really work with him because I was trying to (literally) keep myself together. I've had a lot of feelings of inadequacy and guilt over that, and feeling like I'm doing a terrible job. (This is definitely compounded by the fact Toby flat-out refuses to nurse.) From what I understand, that's more common than I'd have thought. Also, recovery from childbirth can seem short to a woman, but it DOES wear her out and saps her a bit (especially if she had a C-section or if she's nursing afterwards), which makes her more susceptible to these sorts of feelings. But the best thing Howard's done for me is constant reassurance. Open communication- not only about what's best for the baby, but what's best for you as Mom and Dad.

Of course, this is all based on my extensive reading of a book I just said isn't very good and one month of parenthood. ;)

The last thing I'd say is something everyone's told me, but now I totally understand why it happens. Make sure you make time for you and her, where, if possible, you don't talk about the baby. It's HARD because the baby is constantly awake, and by the time we do have time alone together we're so exhausted that making small talk is even difficult. But you definitely should make sure you're conscious of it from the beginning- I can see why couples fall out of it!

Aaand... there's Toby crying. :) Must scoot!

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

You're going to be frustrated with Toby for a long time to come, and that's normal. Sad but true. Right now he's ensuring that mom will be there for him. He can't do anything else because he's helpless. Babies are shamelessly manipulative. *g*

If it gets too frustrating, don't be afraid to hand him over to hubby, or if he's not there, call in someone so you can take a break. Sometimes you both need it.

To be frank I was never all that impressed with the "What To Expect..." books. They struck me as patronizing.

The growth spurts come at about 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. In some ways be glad you won't be nursing through those. Breasts take a huge beating then.

Yay for writing! I marvel that you can do that.

[minnow-53.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Oh, dear, this brings it all back! Even down to the writing...

It does pass, honestly. They do get older, and sleep through the night, and learn to use a knife and fork spoon... Right now, it feels like forever. But there will come a time when you look back on these difficult nights and days with nostalgia. Honestly. If someone had told me that a few years ago I'd have punched them in the nose, but it is true.

Don't listen to breastfeeding fascists. Okay, some women can do it. A lot of us can't, and there is nothing wrong with formula, and everything right about staying as unstressed as possible.

*hugs to all three of you*

^_^xxx

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Cool! :)

Actually, they say that you follow the pattern of your mother, in general. So you might get lucky and also have incredibly easy pregnancies and births. I figured I'd let the doctor tell me if anything was wrong. Most of the defects and problems and complications are so rare that they aren't worth worrying too much about! (Except gestational diabetes, if it runs in your family.) I definitely followed my mother. VERY easy pregnancy, and I think I would have had a relatively easy labor. (It would have been a hard birth either way because of the circumfrence of Toby's head, but the labor was probably quite easy.) I'll keep my fingers crossed for you on that score when you're ready!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Yeah- I guess there's one around 6 weeks, but I don't think this is his growth spurt snacking. (Maybe though!) He seems to get in moods- maybe when he's worked up or overtired- where he just doesn't want to stay awake for the whole thing. But if it's the growth spurt I'll be glad, cause then there's an ending to it! :)

Thanks :)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Babies are shamelessly manipulative. *g*

Yeah, I've noticed him pulling out all the "look how cute I am!" stops this morning!!!!!

And hmmm. We might be coming up on that growth spurt. He's 5 weeks today, so maybe that's it. Or maybe he's just being a little snot about the snacking ;)

Yay for writing! I marvel that you can do that.

I need to- it's my outlet!!!!!!

Thanks for the reply- just knowing there are other people out there makes it feel better.

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

But there will come a time when you look back on these difficult nights and days with nostalgia. Honestly

I totally believe you, because I feel that way about grad school!!! :) But thanks for the reminder- today is one of those days I need it!

And thanks on the breastfeeding/formula thing. It's amazing how hard something so natural is, and yeah- staying unstressed ended up meaning more to us. But as my mom keeps reminding me, all of my generation was reared on formula, and we're utterly fine!

Thanks!!! :)

[aome.livejournal.com]

I think you might very much appreciate this post ali_granger made when her daughter was about 2.5 months old. You aren't alone. And it's okay to be frustrated and angry, even if he's not doing it on purpose.

Also, please keep in mind that your husband may have to GO to work (outside the house), but you are working all day long just as he is - by taking care of Toby and holding the household together. Yes, that is real work. Therefore, please do not make yourself into a martyr of the "My husband needs his rest so I should be the only one getting up with him" variety. If you don't get some semi-proper sleep now and then, you won't be able to do YOUR job. And now that Toby is on formula, there is NO excuse as to why husband can't share in the getting-up. Take turns (ie, alternate times he cries, or alternate nights, or something) so neither one of you gets overburdened (and under-slept). Getting more sleep will help you deal with the frustration. Getting an hour to yourself on a regular basis will help, too - either get husband to watch Toby, or get a friend/family member/babysitter to help out so you can take a bath or run a kid-free errand, or browse the bookstore. Or nap. ;)

As for V-day - have you talked this over with him? Let him know what you'd really appreciate and what means nothing to you? Heck, if you don't like the timing, set your own V-day. Buy a card now and save it until ... March 23rd or something. Or July, as you stated. Besides, the roses won't cost as much, regardless of where they're from, if they aren't purchased at that date. (Frankly, I've tried to talk my husband OUT of buying expensive V-day roses, but he won't hear of it. Every year I get some. And they're lovely, but I can't help but think of other places that money could be spent.)

[aome.livejournal.com]

And obviously my kids never saw a breast for more than a day or two, if that, and they're fine. :) And Chinese formula (what they got for their first year) isn't nearly the fancy top-grade stuff we have here.

I don't blame you for feeling distressed by it, but just try to remember that Toby's getting proper nutrition, and that's all that matters. I've vented enough anger over the "if you don't breast feed, you've failed your children" guilt trips, because there is absolutely nothing I could have done about it, and my kids are fine. So - just try to remember the plus side - your husband can feed Toby now. :D

[tesseract-5.livejournal.com]

whew, so he never got into breast feeding? Please don't feel back about not breast feeding. Those Laleche (sp?) people can be scary from what I've heard from friends who are moms.

If you'd like some sympathy in book form, try The Girlfiend's Guide to the First Year (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399523308/qid=1136576280/sr=8-2/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-6426456-9288106?n=507846&s=books&v=glance)

[skylark74.livejournal.com]

I couldn't help but laugh a little while reading what you're going through .. only because it's almost EXACTLY what I went through with my son (he's 10 now). I used to hate it when he'd snack, but fortunately that phase didn't last too long. When your son gets a little older (b/t 2-3 months old) put a tiny bit of cereal in his bottle. That should keep him full a little longer.

Don't worry about what the books say. The best advice you'll get is from your friends/family. No one is a perfect parent & don't worry about feeling guilty. You know it's a parent's responsibility to inflict psychological damage on their children so they'll have something to tell their shrinks when they get older. At the rate I'm going my son is covered until he's at least 50! :)

I'd suggest to rest when he rests .. otherwise you'll wear yourself down. Take care.

And yay for AIL writage! WOO!!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

And he does! :) As my mom frequently reminds me, our entire generation was raised on formula. And we're all fine. And I'm very close to my mom, so I seriously doubt the bonding experience is that irreplacable. Sure, it IS a bonding experience, but (preaching to the choir here) there are other effective ways to bond with your kids as well.

I've been letting go of the guilt gradually. I think after this next doctor's appointment (Wednesday) I'll be fine. It really helps that both mothers approve very loudly!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I can't see the post- I'm guessing it's f-locked. Too bad. :(

And thank you for the reality check on getting up in the middle of the night. Fortunately, as you saw in my next post, hubby realizes that too. We've decided we won't have an official schedule, and I'll probably still have to get up more because I CAN sleep when Toby sleeps, but he said of his own accord it's definitely not fair on me. Phew!

As for V-Day, we actually feel the same way about it. We do it anyway because we like to get gifts for each other and it does give us something to look forward to in the middle of winter, and we like the excuse to go out to dinner. But I like to rant about it anyway, because years of being single made me despise the holiday on principle :) And that's exaclty how I feel about roses. (Grocery store roses are fine. But florist roses... let's spend the money somewhere else.)

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Nope. Little snot just wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. On the bright side, he takes a bottle just fine and as aome pointed out, this means that hubby can feed him.

I haven't really run into many La Leche people. Although there are a lot of nursers on my f-list, all of them so far have been really cool and supportive. They've encouraged different strageies, but once I've tried and they didn't work and I decided to switch, I haven't gotten anyone shouting "child abuse!" or whatever- just reassurances that the most important thing is that we're both happy. And both of our mothers were actually really happy to see us go the bottle route.

I'll have to check out the book. I'm really not happy with the What to Expect book, because that more than anything makes me feel like shit for giving up breastfeeding. Thanks for the rec!

[lls-mutant.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's a cliche but it's true- it's just so nice to hear other people say they've been there. Misery loves company, perhaps? :)

And you're right about the psychological damage. Heh. He'll love it when I tell his girlfriends that he's totally not a breast man, and they shouldn't expect any action in that department! (Because what else are mothers for but to embarrass you horribly?)

[skylark74.livejournal.com]

You are absolutely right in that aspect! I have tons of photographic evidence to embarrass my son for the rest of his life. It'll make him think twice before he talks about putting me in a nursing home I don't approve of! :)

[aome.livejournal.com]

I have her permission to C&P the content of Ali's post with you, so I'll email you separately. :)

[loveable-pads.livejournal.com]

I have similar feelings regarding V-Day. My husband and I usually find some larger purchase that we both want and purchase it together and use V-Day for an excuse. This year we're purchasing a palm tree for the front yard. Not very romantic but I can't wait to get that tree planted!

I appreciate all the little things he does for me, mid day phonecalls, picking up take out, etc., and I don't need a special day to make him do it.

But flowers are sweet. =)

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

V'day flowers: it's all about the potted flowers that actually stay alive! ;D My bf is definitely a plant man, and getting things that won't die after a week is way cool. [so kudos on that palm tree, recent commenter!]
I have a friend who is still sometimes breastfeeding her son, he is 19 months, and I know there were times that she was in SO much pain from the hard biting of the nipple--so there's another thing for you to be glad about! Avoidance of nipple pain!
I can't really comment on the rest of the sleep-cycle/weaning stuff, other than to say, Good Luck!